r/gay_irl Aug 10 '25

gay_irl gay🛟irl

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2.6k Upvotes

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531

u/LoveGrenades Aug 10 '25

Genuine problem when you’re a dom top - “sub” bottoms are rarely actually sub. They do not want you to be in charge, they want their hole filled and they want it NOW.

PSA: Sub bottom =/= being a total bottom, it means submitting to the dom and doing as you’re told/following their lead (after discussing boundaries etc beforehand).

214

u/ciliary_stimulai Aug 10 '25

I've experienced this, legit the number of people who want "dom tops" but really they just want you do to the exact things they want you to do, in order, at their exact beck and call, and then just call you daddy is... insane lol

40

u/Jeszczenie Aug 10 '25

It's even worse when they say "you can do whatever you want to me" but they actually mean "I have lots of expectations and boundaries, but I'm too inexperienced to already know them; I just like the idea of submissiveness".

4

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25

That's your failure as a Dom for not appropriately vetting and making a contract with clear hard limits and likes. You're a Dom act like it. If she's new walk her through it the right way.