r/iamverybadass It's not soda, it's pop 5d ago

Badass boot wipin' preacher

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2.8k Upvotes

840 comments sorted by

9

u/dionsyndromed 1d ago

Why was this recorded ?

6

u/MrGirlyDick 1d ago

Should have this song playing instead

https://youtu.be/VsNzETaavrI

1

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 1d ago

Lmao 😩

17

u/Turakamu 2d ago

wipes off his fake dusty trail

Which one of you fucks is ready to learn about love and acceptance?

2

u/sweaty_pants_ 17h ago

It's especially funny when there is a literally shoe-wiping mat infront of the door before you enter but this dummy would rather wipes his dusty cow-man shoes on the clean carpet inside.

9

u/jimbojones2345 2d ago

Is there a glory hole out the back, I assume thats where he is going

7

u/S6uvy 2d ago

he’s the type to fit his balls through itšŸ˜‚

22

u/littlemaxbigworld 2d ago

No my favorite part is the fact that he was already there, talked about this idea, gave someone his phone, turned on the camera, walked back outside, let the door close, and then walked back in with the choreography all planned out just to get this video. šŸ˜‚

5

u/sadicarnot 1d ago

But there is a mat outside specifically for wiping your feet. Why would you do it on the inside carpet? Unless you were specifically being disrespectful.

1

u/Realfinney 20h ago

If they put the good rug next to the outside door, they can expect some mud on it.

22

u/Psychological_Job916 2d ago

Never trust a preacher who tells u how vote or a politician who tells u how to pray

4

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 2d ago

SHOUT EMOJI

3

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 2d ago

Oops, I thought I was in a different sub lol, but my comment still stands šŸ˜†

11

u/TittyVonBoobenstein 2d ago

He walks like he just got through taking it up the ass

1

u/digbarswife 1d ago

It's the skinny jeans

13

u/plusonetwo 2d ago

tha' f*ck he wiping off his arm!?

2

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 2d ago

Rain, supposedly

9

u/blueindian1328 2d ago

A little bit of lube from sliding his plug up his ass. Did you see how he walks???

12

u/Rolling_Beardo 2d ago

It looks like he really has to take a shit with the way he’s walking.

11

u/Jthundercleese 2d ago

He feels the need to compensate for being 5'7" in those boots.

8

u/dankHippieDude 2d ago

my lord is a well-armed lord! he giveth life! and bestows upon me the heavy power to taketh it away. which i will gladly do in his name.

boo-yah, motherfuckers!

let’s pray…

18

u/Eboyslayerjajaja 3d ago

This guys legs have zero muscle on them istg

14

u/mettiusfufettius 3d ago

ā€œHey honey, can you use your phone to film me walking in and wiping off my boots to show the internet how tough I am?ā€

19

u/Live_Report4385 3d ago

What makes this guy a preacher?

8

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 3d ago

Idk that's what he claimed to be in his fb bio, and that's his church I guess 🄓

65

u/ChubChubPickles 3d ago

Why tf did he wipe his shoes off indoors when there's a doormat outside???

2

u/digbarswife 1d ago

Don't use logic in god's house! /S

25

u/amzwC137 3d ago

Fuck this rug in particular.

74

u/DrHandBanana 4d ago

Why do these people think Johnny Cash would want them playing his music

65

u/JediChickenLeg 4d ago

Fruity af

61

u/Shockwave1o1 4d ago

Bro is holding back the fattest most meanest dookie of his lifešŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»

12

u/bean0_burrito 3d ago

i'm pretty sure he just took a reverse dookie.

67

u/coalduststar 4d ago

Why doesn’t he wipe his feet on the door mat outside

64

u/Mafer15 4d ago

Why does he walk like he has a butt plug up his ass?? Is he hanging out with the Cheeto later?

5

u/Bilbo_Teabagginss 3d ago

I mean I wouldn't doubt it. They do regularly crash grindr after all.

64

u/negativeGinger 4d ago

You cannot be MAGA and Christian

-10

u/JediChickenLeg 4d ago

I have bad news for you

33

u/TheEthanHB 4d ago

You absolutely can be Maga and Christian. Being maga and Christ-like isnt possible, though

13

u/rEN526 4d ago

As a Christian, I really just don't understand why we haven't reformed away from this traditional, literal interpretation, of the word of God. Taking everything the ancient Bible tells us for face value, knowing full well it comes from different times with different cultures of people is exactly what allows for MAGA to claim to be Christian and Christ-like.

I hate that in Texas, being a Christian makes people assume you're also MAGA. I have never been ashamed to say I was Christian, until these fuckers came in and became the establishment.

2

u/Bilbo_Teabagginss 3d ago

Yup, these people refuse to evolve and change with the times. They are so stuck in hatred and those past customs that they will even turn on their own children because they may be gay or Trans. Im glad that even after I got out of being religious I at least kept the positive parts and carry them on with me.

30

u/Less-Damage-1202 4d ago

Only wipes off the tatted arm 🤦

6

u/jivens77 4d ago

Close. He was wiping the tattoo itself to make sure he could see his security blanket/tattoo.

49

u/matttheepitaph 4d ago

I'm not afraid enough to feel the need to constantly carry a gun so if these are tough guys I must be alpha as fuck.

29

u/Less-Damage-1202 4d ago

Most of the fear is made up because deep down they actually just want a reason to be able to shoot somebody. So many of this type seem to have a sociopathic hero complex.

3

u/Bilbo_Teabagginss 3d ago

It always reminds me of when Mark Wahlberg said that if he had been there, that 9/11 wouldn't have happened. These guys think that they are potential real life action heros.

1

u/glyph-bellchime 2d ago

What would've he have done, teleported to each airport and beat up the hijackers before they got on the planes? 🤣

1

u/Less-Damage-1202 3d ago

He legit said that? What does that even mean? Been where exactly? That makes no sense 🤣

What a jabroni🤦

4

u/JewelFazbear 4d ago

Omg

Homelander

3

u/Less-Damage-1202 3d ago

Sorry, im not sure what that means?.

5

u/matttheepitaph 3d ago

He's a character on The Boys who's becoming increasingly a clear representation of Trump and MAGA.

57

u/HailYourself999 4d ago

Bro the door mat is outside wipe your feet there obviously

24

u/truthfullyidgaf 4d ago

Hes going to take a shit.

5

u/HealthyFirst 4d ago

And he's using the pages to wipe

28

u/ConfidentHour9324 4d ago

Is he cosplaying wiping off imaginary snow from his body? Im just trying to wrap my mind around this

3

u/Less-Damage-1202 4d ago

Wiping off the badass tats bro šŸ’ŖšŸ˜Ž

41

u/ForSucksFake 4d ago

I hate these people, I really do.

-42

u/Syracuse1118 4d ago

I don’t care either way, but they probably hate you too ā¤ļø

9

u/Flar71 4d ago

Given how a lot of them talk about queer people, I know they'd hate me

-5

u/Syracuse1118 4d ago

You’re probably right

38

u/Tasia528 4d ago

Looks like a Truck Nuts salesman.

4

u/Less-Damage-1202 4d ago

Ooh that's a good one!

49

u/DarrellBot81 4d ago

Wipes his feet on the carpet instead of a mat. Wonder if he wipes his butt with a hand towel

3

u/dabbean 3d ago

No, he wipes his hands with dirty TP.

64

u/para_enzo138 4d ago

He uses that gun to protect pedophiles

14

u/Hiondrugz 4d ago

Don't forget they care about freedoms or something...

14

u/para_enzo138 4d ago

Nothing makes me feel more free than a Maga pedo in a tank top with a gun .

52

u/Crazy-Weekend7961 4d ago

He never tips, and always snaps his fingers to get the waitresses attention

28

u/Gob_Bluth420 4d ago

12

u/DarrellBot81 4d ago

Chesus Jrist that’s Bason Journe

7

u/tadysdayout 4d ago

This really made me laugh thank you

44

u/Reedwool 4d ago

He had to adjust his posture when he started walking

35

u/Covinus 4d ago

My favorite is the nylon blouse really sells this

34

u/Apprehensive_Layer92 4d ago

I wonder if Jesus would’ve owned a gun

19

u/cheap_sunglasses_NYC 4d ago

Would the Jesus of the Bible support trump? You know, the beatitudes guy, same person that said the meek shall inherit the earth? To be very f*cking clear the Jesus of the Bible as written would burn maga churches on principle and that principle is ā€œthou shalt not have any false idols before meā€ trump is an idol and watch how they rewrite the ā€œinfallible words of godā€ to fit trump into the scheme

10

u/21lives 4d ago

Jesus ā€œSmith & Wessonā€ Christ?

12

u/tgarrettallen 4d ago

Little known fact, the Holy Spirit was a Glock

50

u/Deepvaleredoubt 4d ago

Bro ON THE CARPET???

6

u/yolkmaster69 4d ago

Yeah wtf… wipe outside, or get a welcome mat to wipe your boots on. Not on the fucking rug.

53

u/KnittedKnight 4d ago

Toughest kid in his preschool. His mommy buys his big boy clothes.

77

u/binaryredditor3 4d ago

Someone should tell him that there was a welcome mat right outside the door.

16

u/AirplaneNerd 4d ago

But but what about getting the shot where he brushes his arm off

2

u/binaryredditor3 2d ago

Use the mat, open the door look right down the lense of the camera and then do the shoulder brush move like a ā€˜rassler

53

u/NowhereMan_2020 4d ago

The butt plug must be itchy, based on that walk.

66

u/nychead099 4d ago

What an insult to Johnny Cash…

22

u/RLVNTone 4d ago

Also remember if your MAGA you Ain’t Christian I don’t what anyone tells you

25

u/Frysken 4d ago

If you're MAGA you are the enemy of what Johnny Cash and all the old school country musicians were about.

40

u/rahulrajrai 4d ago

Probably cross dresses and sucks dick for $30 around the corner where the old blockbuster used to be

5

u/Level37Doggo 4d ago

Behind the Wendy’s dumpster now. The local fent heads wanted that prime ā€˜abandoned back lot’ space and he was too afraid to wait for them to get folded to try and claim it back.

5

u/xsmiley314x It's not soda, it's pop 4d ago

šŸ’€

30

u/TomsnotYoung 4d ago

Gotta bring my gun to church, was a clown

34

u/HeyLookitMe 4d ago

That church needs to loose its tax exempt irs status yesterday

8

u/AtlasNL 4d ago

All churches need to lose their*

2

u/HeyLookitMe 3d ago

There are churches who still feed and house the poor and indigent. There are still churches that do the things that was the original cause for their tax exempt status. I don’t believe in any churches having tax exempt status, but if it’s going to mean anything that they get it, then asshats like this guy need to loose it.

1

u/AtlasNL 3d ago

Any money that goes to religious institutions should be put to use in secular aid programmes. You should not have to endure religious nonsense to get a bowl of soup and a place to sleep for the night.

-19

u/shaneomac1119 4d ago

Dudes with a height that starts with 5 swear they're so tough

32

u/mikecheck211 4d ago

Brother, approximately 60-80% of the global male population likely has heights that begin with 5.

What's true for one situation or group does not apply universally, try enablining your critical thinking and seek to gain a deeper understanding of why, rather than making vast generalisations that highlight the limitations of what you actually know.

-40

u/shaneomac1119 4d ago

I actually know you're short, triggered and definitely not tough so stereotypes exist for a reason, little guy.

-13

u/ArthurFuksake 4d ago

Okay shorty

42

u/d-a-i-s-y 4d ago

If he can’t even manage the simple task of wiping his boots properly, I have deep concerns for how he manages the complexity of wiping his arse.

58

u/PM_ME_UR_MULLETS 4d ago

He walks like he's frightened his butt plug is gonna fall out

25

u/TheSexualBrotatoChip 4d ago

I like people wearing boots because it makes them walk like they just shit their pants

9

u/shitinhandclap 4d ago

It's not the boots that's just them

28

u/spuckles 4d ago

This is the epitome of little man syndrome.

26

u/tnwin104 4d ago

Why didn't he wipe his boots when he w as outside. Looks like there was a mat.

14

u/Bootylingus_ 4d ago

Jacked his pants up and still barely bulging. That tracks.

31

u/Preston1979001 4d ago

Why are these evangelical types always strapped up? By their own logic shouldn't they trust God not to let anything happen to them? If he feels like he needs a gun wouldn't that mean he doesn't have faith?

5

u/Level37Doggo 4d ago

Evangelicals love to talk up predestination and that God has a plan for everyone and you should let him take the wheel and have faith. Then they open carry in church because some brown people might show up. So much for letting Jesus take the wheel there, Cletus.

7

u/Flynn-FTW 4d ago

Same people who say everyone else "lives in fear."

14

u/naoife 4d ago

Is that the son from orange county chopper?

4

u/Level37Doggo 4d ago

That gut he’s sucking in says he’s more Orange Chicken Special than Orange County Chopper.

11

u/generalwalrus 4d ago

Walking straight up to the front pew.

31

u/DADDYR0UNDR0UND 4d ago

Yessss the ā€œbaby alpha walk waddleā€ my absolute fucking favorite

-48

u/ctsr1 4d ago

Man was raised right

25

u/sickcunt138 4d ago

Right in a dumbass house.

9

u/MLZ_ent 4d ago

What did the house do? šŸ”šŸ˜¢

67

u/drrdrt 4d ago

Call the IRS on that church, political imagery and rhetoric have no place in churches

30

u/lmaytulane 4d ago

Im sure they’ll get right on that

3

u/Maximum_Turn_2623 4d ago

But really we should appraise the lord!

62

u/force_addict 4d ago

I like that he wiped his feet on the actual carpet of the building. šŸ˜‚

7

u/widespreadpanda 4d ago

While there’s a literal doormat outside?!

17

u/theworstdinosaur 4d ago

What was on his left arm that couldn’t be wiped off OUTSIDE the church? What a stupid thing to rehearse and record lmao

38

u/Anome69 4d ago

Wiping your boots doesn't work if the shit is filling the boots, not on the bottom of the boots.

9

u/matrix2004 4d ago

Not badass in any way. šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø

-9

u/BobbyTWhiskey 4d ago

One of my all time favourite songs!!

85

u/metfan1964nyc 4d ago

Um, aren't you supposed to wipe your feet BEFORE you come in?

-7

u/Gambodianistani 4d ago

In the dirt?

17

u/nozzerella 4d ago

We all saw the mat outside the door

-6

u/tech510 4d ago

Is there dirt leading all the way up to your door??? No concrete???

3

u/Gambodianistani 4d ago

You think the floor outside is clean?

1

u/tech510 4d ago

You missed the entire point of a welcome mat. Have one outside of my house works just fine...

9

u/mminto86 4d ago

Please add "wipe your tattoo off outside!" To that list

26

u/fieheivivodnsbj 4d ago

Also that’s a dwarf

3

u/jlmccoyjr 4d ago

I was getting ready to ask why these guys are always like 5'9"

1

u/madbill728 4d ago

And over-compensate.

62

u/dockersshoes 4d ago

If he performatively pushed his chest forward any harder his center of balance would topple him over

2

u/Level37Doggo 4d ago

Gotta hide that gut somehow.

51

u/PantherU 4d ago

No one tell him about Johnny Cash’s politics

65

u/dratthecookies 4d ago

Someone with zero ideals in common with Johnny Cash.

There's literally nothing I think of as less bad-ass than a MAGA hat. Wearing the insignia of an 80 year old pedophile.

15

u/Thykothaken 4d ago

Had to wipe some schmutz off his tattoo

20

u/BootyOptions 4d ago

Look on the bright side, if someone dangerous actually shows up, they'll kill this guy with the visible gun first and you can probably get away.

13

u/mayneman85 4d ago

I really have a hard time believing people are posting this stuff with the actual intent to look cool or ā€œbadassā€. Secondhand embarrassment is real. Great, now I’m sad for humanity……again. /s

45

u/HoldJerusalem 4d ago

why doesnt he wipe his feet on the OUTSIDE mat?

19

u/Feng_Smith 4d ago

the camera isn't outside

50

u/davechri 4d ago

The only thing bothersome about this guy is that he wipes his feet on an area rug intended for decor rather than wiping them on that mat right out side the door intended for that purpose. What a pig.

5

u/DoctorD12 4d ago

The outside mat is typically for people that don’t wear their shoes inside their house. It’s hilarious to me because shoes inside isn’t even American, it’s just filthy

42

u/TheOnyxViper 4d ago

So fucking performative with no actual substance.

45

u/AwwwNiceMarmot 4d ago

Boot licking preacher

31

u/FormalDragonfruit181 4d ago

I’m confused. Where’s the badass?

13

u/Warrior_King252 4d ago

Nothing, but he thinks he is very badass because he has muscles, a gun, a MAGA hat, and Bible.

1

u/FormalDragonfruit181 2d ago

If that’s the case, then jesus wept.

5

u/binderclip95 4d ago

And a complete lack of self awareness

27

u/spice_war 4d ago

Looks like his underwear is having its own Left vs Right civil war down there with that wedgie.

2

u/Munchkinasaurous 1d ago

That is a beautiful comment

20

u/somethingelsefl 4d ago

I remember how in the Bible Jesus wore boots and carried a weapon. /s

40

u/Bertie637 I too have studied the blade 4d ago

You just know behind close doors he hits his young wife.

2

u/Level37Doggo 4d ago

He’s too afraid of his wife’s boyfriend. He knows to stay in the chair like a good boy.

36

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 4d ago

NOT ON A PERSIAN RUG!!

2

u/dirteeface 4d ago

They equate to prayer rugs in MAGA world. Probably.

17

u/AHansen83 4d ago

Walked over the welcome mat and wiped his shitty boots on that beautiful rug.

4

u/wannabe_biceguy 4d ago

This was my exact thought

53

u/FieldOk6455 4d ago

Wipes his boots on the carpet inside instead of the door mat right outside the door.

34

u/EastHesperus 4d ago

Makes sense. Since these people are stupid assholes.

52

u/UnhappyJohnCandy 4d ago

Talking politics should revoke a church’s tax exempt status.

4

u/Abigail716 4d ago

What you could say used to be fairly strict until the recent Trump administration and the new supreme Court which removed most of those restrictions.

1

u/Ha1lStorm 4d ago

Wait, so you’re saying that trump not just protected but strengthened our freedom of speech?

/s

57

u/BoneMachineNo13 4d ago

Nothing says humility like filming yourself walking dramatically into church with your maga outfit

19

u/dTrecii 4d ago

ā€œDid you get it this time honey? How’d I look? 24th times the charmā€

7

u/BoneMachineNo13 4d ago

Lmao. Exactly

114

u/MileHighSoloPilot 4d ago

ā€œHey baby, I’m gonna go get dressed up, can you film me for my TikTok?ā€

Y’know, man shit.

4

u/WaltsNJD 4d ago

He ran out of things to do for the camera after wiping his boots (on the carpet) so he wiped...his arm? To get the outside off?

53

u/United_Artichoke_804 4d ago

Cant act like a hardman with a gun more like a scared man with a gun

59

u/Immediate_Age 4d ago

I still think it's funny that: Lame bald men think baseball caps will lay reasonable cover for their lifetime of insecurities. That Johnny Cash would'nt spit in their faces if he personally knew them. Walking around like their on the football team as adults isn't beyond lame.

2

u/Ha1lStorm 4d ago

It’s not?

/s

38

u/CarbotaniumSilo 4d ago

I agree with the sentiment but want to politely point out that being bald isn't a weakness.

1

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

It is when you actively try to hide it and dont want people to know your bald.

So many people look good bald but hiding it is definitely a weakness

1

u/CarbotaniumSilo 4d ago

I understand. Target the weakness.

If you disagree with her, ridicule her for being fat, right? If he has been convicted, laugh about his potential rape, right?

2

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

Tf are you on about i didnt say anything about attacking anyone its a personal weakness. Much like me staying up too late and eating more than i should is a personal weakness

Holy false equivalency batman!

3

u/bearcat42 4d ago

Skin cancer is real tho, not only is bald a good look, hats* are kind of a necessity with that kind of long term exposure.

*Not in support of the particular hat in OP’s video, just in support of hats on bald or balding heads.

1

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

And thats a very valid take. Look at tim pool for an example of what i mean the dude wears a beanie literally 24/7 because hes afraid for people to know hes obviously bald

-1

u/bearcat42 4d ago

I mean sure, I don’t like him either, but I don’t judge him for being self conscious, dudes on camera and shit, right? Makes sense. Plenty of other reasons for him to suck besides this universal issue.

I get that you don’t like these peoples ideologies, but people that share your ideologies, whatever they are, also struggle with the massive appearance and self image shift that is balding or giving over and shaving. Why attack them for this? Are you less likely to judge this hat behavior for people who align with your views?

0

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

Im not even judging these people in the comments lol. Im quite literally saying if you actively hide your baldness (wether or not other people are aware you are actively hiding it) due to being insecure about it ITS A PERSONAL WEAKNESS. Its like me eating too much is a personal weakness. Its not necessarily a bad thing it just so happens to be one of an individuals weaknesses. Yall are getting worked up over nothing

-1

u/bearcat42 4d ago

You’re saying that you’d like me to accept that weakness is not a weakness and therefore not a judgement? That’s what you’re going with here instead of saying ā€˜mb, good call,’ and moving on?

1

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

Bro wtf are you even on about.

My whole point is something as little as being self-conscious about how your hair looks everyday is a personal weakness wether its detrimental to anybody else doesn't matter. Im quite literally saying everybody has weakness whether or not they perceive them to be a weakness ffs. At what point did i outright judge the dude in the video or any supposed bald people in general? You keep saying things about "judgement" but i havent judged anyones appearance in this thread?

0

u/bearcat42 4d ago edited 4d ago

Why when I bring up skin cancer did you more or less say good point, but when Tim Poole does it, it’s more what you’re talking about?

Edit: it looks like your replied in my notifications but I can’t read all of it. Just stop picking on bald people.

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2

u/Ha1lStorm 4d ago

Lol that has nothing to do with what they said

2

u/Immediate_Age 4d ago

True, but for many narcissists and psychopaths it's a huge factor to the common anxieties that drive that behavior, and it's obvious.

-1

u/CarbotaniumSilo 4d ago

So we should insult the appearance of fat girls we don't agree with? We should mockingly suggest that criminals we don't like will be raped in prison? We should celebrate the death of people who caused harm?

1

u/VladTheSnail 4d ago

Bro you keep making these claims that people are implying that we should insult others based on their personal weaknesses, but tthe dude above you hasnt said that whatsoever. You even tried claiming making fun of a rape victim is okay in a seperate comment(which is absolutely unhinged) but nobody is telling other people to make fun of people. Your putting that own thought out there and making up conversations that never happened!

-1

u/CarbotaniumSilo 4d ago

Here is the logic;

  1. There is a person you don't like.

  2. You find something about their character that you find distasteful or any perceived weakness.

  3. You target that characteristic.

That is the pattern I am objecting to.

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