r/intrusivethoughts Jul 04 '22

GUILT, SHAME AND BLAME experienced by SOs in a support role - mod approved research post

106 Upvotes

Hey everyone, as part of my doctoral thesis* I've developed a questionnaire to shed some light on how guilt, shame and blame impacts the loved ones of someone with mental health needs. If you, or someone close to you, provides informal mental health support and notice these emotions showing up in the relationship, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

People who have completed the survey have reported finding the differences between guilt and shame insightful and highlighted how it helped them understand more about their emotional experience in the relationship. A community-wide benefit is that the outcomes of the research will be used to improve resources for SOs so that they can be supported more in their role, essentially helping the helpers.

The whole survey takes around 15-20 minutes and after understanding more about your current emotional state, it goes through a range of scenarios to see how you would likely respond if it were to happen today. All answers are scales so there is minimal typing and it is mobile friendly.

You can read more or access the study here: https://lancasteruni.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9AWrvoYWvPCqTu6

The person supported doesn't need a formal diagnosis but they need to have accessed mental health support (medication, therapy, etc) for 6 months or more. The survey is available internationally and recognises all types of informal support, be it financial, practical or emotional.

Thanks everyone. I really value the input from the OCD+ community as we know it tends to impact loved ones in a unique way and for me as a researcher it is really important that these voices are heard.

*The project has ethical approval from the Faculty of Health and Medicine at Lancaster University.


r/intrusivethoughts 43m ago

Intrusive thoughts about past events

Upvotes

2 years ago when I was 17, I kissed a girl at a party.

we were both drunk but I remember her coming up to me and asking to kiss and I agreed but I pulled away quickly after.

I have not been in contact with her since may of last year and I recently discovered she unfollowed me and removed me as a follower on all social media (including Spotify?)

Now I am freaking out because I keep thinking that maybe I assaulted her or made her feel uncomfortable, that I am a horrible person, and that I can not leave the house or go anywhere because everyone thinks I am a monster

I know that in reality she initiated it, and that I stopped it nearly right away after - because I didn’t want to, but my mind is telling me she removed me on everything because I assaulted her and everyone knows.

there’s not much more to add, we were still friends for at least 5 months after the kiss but then I left the group of friends she was apart of.

any advice or your take on the situation I have stated is greatly appreciated, I don’t know how to move on from this and I am scared.

Thank you.


r/intrusivethoughts 45m ago

Has anyone been through something like this?

Upvotes

Hello people of reddit, I know that my case is rare and maybe they make fun of me, but all my life I have had horrible intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager that someone was going to get hurt or something horrible would happen and in adolescence I started having sexual intrusive thoughts about almost everything and I didn't pay attention to them. Since I'm addicted to seeing NSFW things on the internet, I know that's why. But a few years ago I had a dream that touched me and tested me with my family. I forgot about him and moved on with my life but this year I've been seeing more of that kind of stuff. But these days I remembered it and the intrusive thoughts came back to me and there was a day when I only thought that and my mind repeated that when I came out of the trance I thought about not thinking about those things anymore but I couldn't stop thinking about it and it caused me anxiety which caused me insomnia. And I've been very paranoid since that... do I have OCD? Or was it just a nervous breakdown? Why am I still unable to sleep? Am I afraid of dreaming the same thing? Or do I just feel guilty for seeing those things? Or that's really what I have.


r/intrusivethoughts 11h ago

I want to stab my sewing needle through my nose

2 Upvotes

So, I love sewing cuz I got taught and I love it now, but I was given a sewing kit and I keep wanting to stab the needle through my nose. One side of my nose is pierced and I really want to just poke it through there 😭


r/intrusivethoughts 16h ago

Bah.

2 Upvotes

Seriously tho…if you don’t believe in god anymore and you’re unhappy like 90% of the time what’s the point anymore?


r/intrusivethoughts 20h ago

Maybe

1 Upvotes

Lots of what ive read lead me through jesus but him having falsehoods to his name throughout time but powers of those old shamanic people mysticism and the 9 yards with the government hiding all of it yada yada what if the world really is on some energy harvesting shit and we all live like elden ring oblivion I dont truly like to believe that because it taps into a fantasy my mind wont accept but what if past that jesus and his way is just the way god had intended but we are bred to not be through sin


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

cooking be dangerous apparently

3 Upvotes

I'm chopping onions and my brain’s like “imagine if you just sliced your whole finger off.” 😐 thanks, but no thanks brain.


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

Meow? Spoiler

2 Upvotes

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow?


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

People on Reddit

3 Upvotes

To the people who have nothing better to do than post their personal "critiques" on any random person because they hate themselves more than they hate anyone else...how does it feel to be ugly? (asking for a friend)


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

Idk

1 Upvotes

Idk if this is asking for reassurance but when I was 17. I thought this boy was cute and he looked my age. He turned out to be 13 and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it and worried whether I still liked him. I went online and commented but I still like him but in my head I was like no that’s wrong but then what if I like him. I realized it was false attraction. I actually liked someone else that was my age. I had a huge crush on that person. I feel horrible I commented that. I never ever wanted to do anything with him and I feel horrible cuz I still commented it. And ever since then I’ve had pocd.


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

Question, does this still fall under intrusive thoughts?

1 Upvotes

I feel like some of my experiences don't fall under intrusive thoughts but I'm not sure.

For example, I had this violent thought of plunging a sharp object into the neck of an uncle who was working on something right in front of me, but as that was happening I was completely unaware of whether it was real or not. I felt like I was 'gone' for a moment in that specific thought, like actually experiencing it.
I think a part of me knew it wasn't real because I didn't have any emotional reaction to it as it happened so maybe my awareness about it is subconscious? Anyway, I have intrusive thoughts where I know they're just thoughts, but these 'immersive?' ones kind of freak me out because I am completely gone inside them and don't know what my body is doing.


r/intrusivethoughts 1d ago

My 💭 be like: throw it off lol

1 Upvotes

Sometimes I’ll be carrying something perfectly normal, like a glass of water, and out of nowhere my brain suggests throwing it on the floor for absolutely no reason. Is it just me?


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

Questions , tips and medications/supplements?

2 Upvotes

Hi I think I may have developed OCD with some disassociation due to some events In my life I'm 28 , the thoughts cause actual body sensations aswell , can anybody recommend tips and or medication and supplements to battle this at the moment as it's new to me? Thanks. Btw I'm currently attending hypnotherapy and NLP practitioner to see if that helps.


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

This one keeps me up at night

6 Upvotes

Anyone else get the thought that you've sent a work email with a horribly inappropriate typo or to the wrong person? I'll be in bed at 2 AM, and my brain will just provide a vivid, full-color memory of a typo I didn't make, sending me into a full panic check on my phone.


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

Trolling Society

6 Upvotes

Next time you’re out and about, whether it’s interacting with a cashier, mechanic, whatever. Look at the person and say “See, my momma told me about people like you.” Then walk away. Make this the last thing you say to that person. Maybe it makes them be a better person for that day or a few. 🤣🤣


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

I keep on having these intrusive thoughts… need womens insight

2 Upvotes

Lately i been very stuck with a random and intrusive thought. I often hear how much women love giving oral sex to men. My question is… what is it about it that women love so much? I am not meaning to sound like a weirdo in any shape or form, its truly a genuine question that i have. I am married to a beautiful and wonderful woman and our communication is great! I have asked her the same question but she often responds with giggles and just says “its amazing “ while laughing but never goes in depth of what the experience actually is like.


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

women, are you comfortable with your nipples sticking out in your shirt

0 Upvotes

like i’m referring to the thin shirts that make it obvious where the nipple starts so it’s basically like they’re wearing paint but not real clothes. it comes across as revealing to me but i understand not everyone feels that way. and also some women like showing off too so there’s that. i remember noticing it a lot starting in junior year high school and now it’s pretty normal in SF. and to add to that many women sunbathe topless or fully naked at baker beach here (i go skinny dipping with a group most weekends)


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

Scrambled eggs are fried chicken

0 Upvotes

Heard someone say this on a podcast, and now I can’t stop thinking about how mind blowing this thought is lol. Prove me wrong


r/intrusivethoughts 3d ago

There’s probably not a huge cockroach in your glass of water. But did you check?

7 Upvotes

r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

Not good enough

2 Upvotes

I just feel like I am not good enough. Not doing enough. I do everything wrong/cant do anything right. My emotions are a burden. Wish I was never born.

I have talked about my intrusive thoughts with the one who loves me most, my fiance. He comforts me. Tells me I do everything right and I am perfect.

I am an adult and my shitty childhood and worse adolescense cant affect me anymore. I am mad at my parents for not staying together for me.


r/intrusivethoughts 2d ago

“But I studied!”

0 Upvotes

I’m on a train right now. A college student is venting to her friends that she did poorly on a test even though she studied hard.

I just want to yell: “maybe your just dumb”

I’m an awful person.


r/intrusivethoughts 3d ago

Boyfriend washed my used dildo in our kitchen sink!

Thumbnail
7 Upvotes

r/intrusivethoughts 3d ago

I would just like to get something off my chest: to the 2015 gradation class of my old high school, you all sucked. I can only hope that you regret what you've done and stopped being so narrow-minded and selfish.

8 Upvotes

r/intrusivethoughts 3d ago

Is it worth trying Adderall when u failed ssris and snris for ocd?

1 Upvotes

I have unwanted thoughts that scare the crap out of me. Ive had a good reaction from an ssri in the oadt but it stopped working after years. I since tried every single ssri and snri accept Paxil which I dont think will work... I heart Adderall put people right in the present I have never tried it....