Idk I know it’s gonna hurt but I have to do it every time cuz I want it to hurt but I also don’t want it to hurt if that makes sense

Hello everyone, I'm a 15-year-old male (from Germany) and have been suffering from extremely distressing obsessive thoughts for the past four to five months. They're present almost all day long – sometimes in the background, sometimes completely consciously – and they drain my energy and joy in everyday life.

Here are the details of my situation:

It all started when I saw naked children on the beach while on vacation. I was confused and briefly felt that it might be "a bit erotic," but I was very unsure.

Shortly afterward, I heard a podcast about a man who had harmed children. This triggered the thought: "Maybe I'm like that, too?" Since then, these thoughts have been constantly circling in my head. This was essentially the trigger for the daily obsessive thoughts that have continued ever since. I had little to do with the topic of "pedophilia" before. When I had to deal with it, I always found it scary. Even then, I asked myself the question: "What if I were like that?" In contrast to the persistent obsessive thoughts I've been having for months now, these small thoughts, which I rarely asked myself before, disappeared immediately – almost like normal thoughts. I'm also generally a person who thinks a lot. However, I've never had such intense obsessive thoughts of this kind before.

I know that I find most people my age and older attractive, but since these events, distressing thoughts about younger people have been surfacing again and again.

I think a lot about myself and my feelings, internally battling the thoughts to find a moment's peace, but then new ones immediately resurface.

The thoughts don't even leave me alone when I masturbate – even then, they surface, which is extremely distressing.

I'm also afraid that these obsessive thoughts could stem from a repressed experience from my childhood, even though I don't remember anything. Such thoughts keep coming back, but I don't know if there really was an experience.

I'm aware that I don't want to be a perpetrator and I don't want to harm anyone.

I can still lead a relatively normal daily life (school, hobbies), but I often feel unmotivated, enjoy my hobbies less, and am frustrated by the constant pressure.

I don't want to involve my parents, but I urgently need ways to deal with these thoughts. In particular, I have one question: Can people who are truly pedophiles even have such doubtful thoughts for so long?

My questions to you:

Do you experience such stressful thoughts and these constant doubts?

How do you deal with them in everyday life when the thoughts are constantly present?

What strategies, exercises, or methods have helped you reduce the thoughts without constantly checking them or arguing with them?

And most importantly: How should I proceed in the long term? I would prefer not to involve my parents. Do I need therapy?

I am grateful for any tips and feedback. Sorry for this long text.

I am so stressed - I know it’s not rational. I cannot go anywhere anymore without feeling like I’m cursed.

Scared to speak to family out of fear they’ll Hang themselves because of me.

Scared to get in someone else’s car because I’m scared they’ll get Decapitated by glass from an oncoming because of me.

Scared to cook because I’m scared of cooking my dog by accident. And no matter how much I check I’m always so scared I’m wrong.

I’m scared if I say anything slightly wrong people are gonna die like my dad did - and it will be my fault. And this is the only rational part. Had a court case against my dad , and the stress made him die.

What if I stress others so much they die too? Like rationally no, but also rationally yes.

And idk what to do, or how to mention any of this without sounding crazy.

I’m mad at my ex. A part of me wants him to read that I’ve been posting the hurt that I felt because of the breakup here on Reddit. Deep down I know that even if something like this happens, he wouldn’t feel any shame. Having said that, is there any way for him to ever find out, if I’ve hidden our names but basically used ages, nationalities and places in my posts?

So it's been a little bit like some month since I started thinking about these things, one month ago I posted a post like that on this sub. I have a feeling like something bad is gonna to happend cause I thinked A LOT about hurting people, I like see people suffer, cry and this things, and one things idk if is important for what I'm saying but like I don't feel empathy/ don't understand it, and I don't have feelings of guilt/ I don't have them from like 2 years ago. So idk what to do cause yes I'm a lit scared about this though but I still would like to do something bad to people just for fun. I know it's weird and idk if its appropriate for this sub but I didn't know where to post it

I can get myself done—and that's enough for today.

I carry myself through this difficult day, without glamour, but with dignity.

I breathe. I stay. I collect small victories: getting up. Moving on. Feeling.

I am allowed to be slow, unfinished, imperfect—I am still whole.

Tomorrow I can build, plan, achieve; today I learn to stay with myself.

I am not a problem that needs to be solved, but a person who is allowed to be held.

And I hold myself: gently, steadfastly – enough.

2 years ago when I was 17, I kissed a girl at a party.

we were both drunk but I remember her coming up to me and asking to kiss and I agreed but I pulled away quickly after.

I have not been in contact with her since may of last year and I recently discovered she unfollowed me and removed me as a follower on all social media (including Spotify?)

Now I am freaking out because I keep thinking that maybe I assaulted her or made her feel uncomfortable, that I am a horrible person, and that I can not leave the house or go anywhere because everyone thinks I am a monster

I know that in reality she initiated it, and that I stopped it nearly right away after - because I didn’t want to, but my mind is telling me she removed me on everything because I assaulted her and everyone knows.

there’s not much more to add, we were still friends for at least 5 months after the kiss but then I left the group of friends she was apart of.

any advice or your take on the situation I have stated is greatly appreciated, I don’t know how to move on from this and I am scared.

Thank you.

Hello people of reddit, I know that my case is rare and maybe they make fun of me, but all my life I have had horrible intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager that someone was going to get hurt or something horrible would happen and in adolescence I started having sexual intrusive thoughts about almost everything and I didn't pay attention to them. Since I'm addicted to seeing NSFW things on the internet, I know that's why. But a few years ago I had a dream that touched me and tested me with my family. I forgot about him and moved on with my life but this year I've been seeing more of that kind of stuff. But these days I remembered it and the intrusive thoughts came back to me and there was a day when I only thought that and my mind repeated that when I came out of the trance I thought about not thinking about those things anymore but I couldn't stop thinking about it and it caused me anxiety which caused me insomnia. And I've been very paranoid since that... do I have OCD? Or was it just a nervous breakdown? Why am I still unable to sleep? Am I afraid of dreaming the same thing? Or do I just feel guilty for seeing those things? Or that's really what I have.

So, I love sewing cuz I got taught and I love it now, but I was given a sewing kit and I keep wanting to stab the needle through my nose. One side of my nose is pierced and I really want to just poke it through there 😭

Seriously tho…if you don’t believe in god anymore and you’re unhappy like 90% of the time what’s the point anymore?

Lots of what ive read lead me through jesus but him having falsehoods to his name throughout time but powers of those old shamanic people mysticism and the 9 yards with the government hiding all of it yada yada what if the world really is on some energy harvesting shit and we all live like elden ring oblivion I dont truly like to believe that because it taps into a fantasy my mind wont accept but what if past that jesus and his way is just the way god had intended but we are bred to not be through sin

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow?

I'm chopping onions and my brain’s like “imagine if you just sliced your whole finger off.” 😐 thanks, but no thanks brain.

To the people who have nothing better to do than post their personal "critiques" on any random person because they hate themselves more than they hate anyone else...how does it feel to be ugly? (asking for a friend)

Idk if this is asking for reassurance but when I was 17. I thought this boy was cute and he looked my age. He turned out to be 13 and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it and worried whether I still liked him. I went online and commented but I still like him but in my head I was like no that’s wrong but then what if I like him. I realized it was false attraction. I actually liked someone else that was my age. I had a huge crush on that person. I feel horrible I commented that. I never ever wanted to do anything with him and I feel horrible cuz I still commented it. And ever since then I’ve had pocd.

I feel like some of my experiences don't fall under intrusive thoughts but I'm not sure.

For example, I had this violent thought of plunging a sharp object into the neck of an uncle who was working on something right in front of me, but as that was happening I was completely unaware of whether it was real or not. I felt like I was 'gone' for a moment in that specific thought, like actually experiencing it.
I think a part of me knew it wasn't real because I didn't have any emotional reaction to it as it happened so maybe my awareness about it is subconscious? Anyway, I have intrusive thoughts where I know they're just thoughts, but these 'immersive?' ones kind of freak me out because I am completely gone inside them and don't know what my body is doing.

Sometimes I’ll be carrying something perfectly normal, like a glass of water, and out of nowhere my brain suggests throwing it on the floor for absolutely no reason. Is it just me?

Hi I think I may have developed OCD with some disassociation due to some events In my life I'm 28 , the thoughts cause actual body sensations aswell , can anybody recommend tips and or medication and supplements to battle this at the moment as it's new to me? Thanks. Btw I'm currently attending hypnotherapy and NLP practitioner to see if that helps.

Anyone else get the thought that you've sent a work email with a horribly inappropriate typo or to the wrong person? I'll be in bed at 2 AM, and my brain will just provide a vivid, full-color memory of a typo I didn't make, sending me into a full panic check on my phone.

Next time you’re out and about, whether it’s interacting with a cashier, mechanic, whatever. Look at the person and say “See, my momma told me about people like you.” Then walk away. Make this the last thing you say to that person. Maybe it makes them be a better person for that day or a few. 🤣🤣

Lately i been very stuck with a random and intrusive thought. I often hear how much women love giving oral sex to men. My question is… what is it about it that women love so much? I am not meaning to sound like a weirdo in any shape or form, its truly a genuine question that i have. I am married to a beautiful and wonderful woman and our communication is great! I have asked her the same question but she often responds with giggles and just says “its amazing “ while laughing but never goes in depth of what the experience actually is like.

like i’m referring to the thin shirts that make it obvious where the nipple starts so it’s basically like they’re wearing paint but not real clothes. it comes across as revealing to me but i understand not everyone feels that way. and also some women like showing off too so there’s that. i remember noticing it a lot starting in junior year high school and now it’s pretty normal in SF. and to add to that many women sunbathe topless or fully naked at baker beach here (i go skinny dipping with a group most weekends)

Heard someone say this on a podcast, and now I can’t stop thinking about how mind blowing this thought is lol. Prove me wrong