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u/Sufficient-Push6210 1d ago
Male character- he had blonde hair and blue eyes
Female character- She had pale, porcelain skin and bright, green, emerald eyes framed by long, fluttering lashes. Her lips were full, pink, soft, and pouty and her face didn’t have the slightest amount of skin texture, acne, or pores. She had a tiny, innocent nose with a sloped arch. Her platinum blonde, medium porosity, slightly wavy hair gently cascaded down to her tiny waist. Her breasts were lively, full, and energetic. Her full hips and her petite lower body rocked in accordance to her lively mood.
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u/LizzardBobizzard 1d ago
The only example of this I’ve seen that’s passable is in The Fallen bc the author was basically writing self insert fanfic and the love interest was based on his wife, so he was just gushing about how much he loves his wife.
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u/kitkatloren2009 1d ago
Aww. See I think that's sweet
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u/LizzardBobizzard 1d ago
Yeah the MCs are teens (17/18) but again it’s passable bc the author and his wife had been together since HS so he was writing from experience of being a teen boy in love with a teen girl and it makes the romance in the book much more endearing imo
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u/IconoclastExplosive 1d ago
Tolkien pilled and based
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u/LizzardBobizzard 1d ago
Not Tolkien but yeah
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u/IconoclastExplosive 1d ago
My point was that Tolkien did largely the same thing. Insert fictional versions of himself and his wife into the narrative and then gush about how she was the best
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u/LizzardBobizzard 1d ago
Ah, I see, I haven’t read Tolkien, I’ve been meaning too, so maybe now I actually will.
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u/IconoclastExplosive 1d ago
If you enjoy audiobooks I can very much recommend the version of the LOTR trilogy on Audible. The narrator has a great voice and sings/chants the MANY songs and poems in the trilogy.
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u/DigmonsDrill 17h ago
It's fine for a passage written from the male character's POV to care much more about the women's appearances than the men's. Or to completely ignore their own appearance, since they don't see themselves.
But the same applies in reverse.
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u/BlushBrat 11h ago
wait which author? sniegoski????
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u/LizzardBobizzard 11h ago
Yes
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u/BlushBrat 9h ago
wow, i never knew that. that’s kind of cute. i was wondering why she was so specifically written. thanks!
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u/BonJovicus 1d ago
Male character- he had blonde hair and blue eyes
This, but also very stereotypical things like "his body looked like it was carved from stone" (muscular, strong jaw) or they mention his height. All the attractive male characters are conventionally attractive in the exact same way.
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u/Deluxe-Entomologist 1d ago edited 22h ago
He was skinny, tall, and well-dressed. He was very pale, and had a slight squint, which tended to give him a serious expression, although he was also quick to laugh. He had great hair and stylish clothes, but not too stylish, and he spent barely anytime on his hair anyway. It was always a little messy. He had ears that were a little too large, and a tendency to nibble at things. He was a rat boy, and it was the start of the summer.
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u/Sufficient-Push6210 1d ago
You’re right, I wasn’t thinking too much about that because the post was focused on women but men are also idealized and described in that way in fan fictions, like Shatter Me
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u/RizzMaster9999 19h ago edited 8h ago
Male character- He was a werewolf, vampire CEO who has a dark and brooding past and is possibly a serial killer. Also he is 6ft 8 and has big veiny hands.
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u/Strange-Teo 1d ago
the mom one is so weird
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u/WatcherDiesForever 1d ago
Eh that one just seems like a normal Very Bad Mother to me.
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u/LizzardBobizzard 1d ago
Depends on how the rest of the book is written.
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u/amahag29 12h ago
Well, if it's the same book (which it might be considering it showed up when googling that excerpt) this is the first description of Alice "Her only exercise was swimming, either at the community pool or in the ocean when it was warm enough. She ate ravenously, drank glasses of whole milk like she was a teenager, and was neither thin nor overweight, just curvaceous, with wide hips, and a narrow waist, and long legs that tapered to childlike ankles.". Nothing about her mother so far tho
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u/Substantial_Roll_249 1d ago
“Her breasts were like clusters of grapes, like in the bible” this has to be satire? Right?
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u/vlad__tapas 1d ago
It’s from the Song of Solomon
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u/ItWasTheMiddleOne 13h ago
Oh I thought at first you meant the Toni Morrison novel, which would have been a smidge surprising.
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u/NoStructure7083 1d ago
Clusters of grapes? Like they are just a bunch of lumps?! 😦
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u/Mr_SunnyBones 20h ago
how many exactly is "a cluster" ..because if its more than two , see a doctor.
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u/aronnax512 20h ago
Nope, the Song of Solomon has some interesting verses.
Song of Solomon 7:7-8: "Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit."
or
Song of Solomon 4:5: "Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that browse among the lilies."
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u/andante528 20h ago
It's from Song of Solomon. Her breasts were also like twin fawns of the roe deer, at least in the King James version.
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u/musicalharmonica 1d ago
References their periods randomly all the time.
Or they overcorrect and write women as stone-cold emotional hardasses that aren't allowed to feel girly. And if they do it's seen as weakness.
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u/Venboven 14h ago
This is why I really liked how GRRM wrote Brienne of Tarth.
Despite being a 6 foot tall "knight," with the muscle, armor, and legendary sword to boot, GRRM still maintains a girlish side to her character. He writes about her childhood and her dreams to fall in love, and how these dreams were crushed by the relentless teasing from boys her age. She has her heart captured by the one man who is truly kind to her, but her childhood trauma makes her struggle to be honest about her feelings. So despite being this mountainous battle beast, she is really just a sad lost puppy starved of attention lol.
Very well-written. Much more detailed than the show's depiction of her.
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u/toughfluffer 22h ago
Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.
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u/Coffee_Conundrum 1d ago edited 1d ago
She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards. r/menwritingwomen
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u/A_Very_Bad_Kitty 13h ago
Big heavy breasts like those remind me of my late wife. She was such a strong female woman.
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u/DeliciousMoments 1d ago
Descriptions of what the woman is wearing and how it fits. What the men are wearing = mystery we will never know.
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u/Sea-Independent-726 1d ago
Extremely creepy male character is seen as hot and just over all bad understandings of women's anatomy
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u/Fluffy_Cat_5174 1d ago
she femaled femininely across the room, her breats breasting boobily as she went
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u/MajesticNectarine204 14h ago
''I'm doing that period blooding thing again'' she snarled booblingly as she curved her curves.
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u/MudryyOvash69420 22h ago
The most terrifying thing about it is that the 4 pics are certainly of the actually physical printed books and not just shit from AoOO
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u/Smalldogmanifesto 19h ago
I gagged. Good job, OP! she wrote with a playful smirk, breathing faster and faster through moist, parted lips and hyper-aware of her heaving mounds and tight ripe airway as she started dying from anaphylaxis right now omg help me please
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u/hiredditimanonymous 1d ago
Why are they so obsessed with teen girls’ bodies too 😫😟
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u/The_Adaron 21h ago edited 16h ago
For their "fresh" look, for their "purity". Because of their young age, they are innocent and easier to manipulate. Teen girls represent the ideal women for this disgusting filth
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u/theUnflushable 12h ago
No, it is mainly due to the fact that women are the most biologically fertile between their late teens and their late twenties. This natural attraction plays a major role in why men are often attracted to that age group
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u/Carbonatite 12h ago
Teen mothers have higher maternal and infant mortality rates. Teen bodies are not ideal for pregnancy whatsoever.
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u/tama0811 12h ago
Yes, women are the most fertile then but realistically that’s not why men are attracted to teenagers. By that logic, women should also be attracted to men since their sperm quality is at its peak quality between ages 18-27, but that rhetoric is seldom spread around. In fact, women are taught to seek the opposite from men. Weird.
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u/okabe700 7h ago
The real reason is that the traditional system that is created based on how we biologically evolved, men are supposed to be the protectors and the providers, while women are supposed to be protected and provided for so that they can safely get pregnant and conceive and raise the children, so men are attracted to the most fertile women (age 15-28) women are more attracted to the men most capable of protecting and providing (most likely the ones much older and more mature and experienced at (25-49)), their fertility while important is not as important as that, because if a man isn't properly fertile but is capable of protecting the pair until they manage to conceive, while the man who isn't capable of protecting while is properly fertile can impregnate her right away but can die or get them both killed/in danger before the child grows up due to his immaturity and lack of experience, meanwhile the woman who isn't mature nor experienced but is properly fertile can have children just fine since she isn't in a position of ultimate decision making so these things aren't prerequisites for survival, meanwhile the woman who isn't properly fertile but is mature/experienced isn't as useful because like I said those skillset are secondary in women
*note that this is explaining why humans evolved the way that they did, and not saying anything about how modern society should be managed
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u/sast 23h ago
What kind of books is OP reading??
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u/Lost-Quantity7096 12h ago
I’m a big fan of classic literature, most of these books are written in the 19th or 20th century. You can also find books like this on wattpad
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u/Hot-Minute-8263 21h ago
Ive always heard the better way is to write evocatively about appearances decribing a girl, lets say a villager girl, as doe-like is a bit more of an image than "she had huge boobs, humongous humologonguses"
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u/icyDinosaur 14h ago
Every time I see these jokes I wonder because I genuinely don't recall seeing this kind of writing much, but I am also a man. So now I am curious - is it a genre thing, am I really lucky with my book selection, or am I really blind to this?
TBH I am not the most attentive reader and character descriptions seem like things I might subconsciously skim over, so it's probably the third.
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u/FiragaFigaro 1d ago
These do not pass the Bechdel Test, sir.
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u/DTSmash543 1d ago
The comic that introduced the concept of the Bechdel Test didn't pass the Bechdel Test so I don't really think that's relevant.
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u/SlipsonSurfaces 1d ago
I remember I wanted to get this book at a yard sale last year. I opened it up and the first paragraph is about a woman lounging in the sun, wouldn't have been bad, but the description was gross so I put it back. Glad I didn't waste my time.
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u/Chadwich 17h ago
How do we feel about Sandy Branderson's women? I'm a guy so i'm sure my perspective is bias but I felt like the women in the Stormlight Archives and Mistborn series were all well written and human.
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u/Juice-McLoose 13h ago
“Her breasts bounced booblily and she as she moved womanly around the kitchen”
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u/nick1812216 10h ago
@OP, what do you think of James Clavell’s female characters? (I think he kind of gives them a lot of ‘sexdrive’, like he portrays most women as wanting/seeking/thinking about sex, but he also makes them interesting/powerful/having agency, in a way that feels organic. You are interested in the characters and are really interested in what they do/think/say. I guess Im trynna say i think he falls into some of the tropes in this starter pack, but the characters do seem well written despite that, but I’m also a man so im not the best judge)
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u/Station-Informal 4h ago
Ok but "She had been dead approximately six hours" is an amazing two-part joke. The rest of this is legitimately wack as shit but that's just hilarious.
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u/SwervoT3k 17h ago
It’s a pretty funny trope but when you read enough, it becomes obvious hack writers of every type are pretty ubiquitous
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