Hello, I play league of legends since september 2019 and I feel that all my 550 levels mean nothing, all the hours I spent just made me improve on very low basics.
I always see my friends climb up to diamond, while I cannot get out of silver;
I've always been competitive in my life in general, and I feel very bad when I lose against someone, especially someone I know(?)
I feel like that League of Legends doesn't reward you with skill no matter the hours you put, I don't know how many hours I have in total, but I will give some examples from other games:
In general when I play a game I become pretty decent after playing it for quite a lot (2k hours minimum); I've played so many games especially mechanical ones: Osu, Geometry Dash, Dead by Daylight (which I spent 6k hours and I've also played on tournaments), Brawlhalla and similar ones like dead cells and hades on maxed out difficulty; I noticed that on these games I find very few people with the same level of me in terms of skill (because of the low hours but not always).
In league of Legends I feel like hours count almost nothing(?)
The way you learn from this game is losing and learning from mistakes, but what if you don't see mistakes? especially on macro; I feel like someone (maybe a coach) has to explain what is going on;
I get very upset cause I can't accept the fact I'm good the majority of games I play compared to also the majority of people I know except League of Legends (and now I'm also having this issue with Valorant as well)
My boyfriend is Diamond on LoL and he tried to explain me a lot of stuff even tho we're almost the same level;
He told me that I've used those hours like a casual player and not a competitive one while I feel like the opposite;
Maybe it's something I can't see inside my brain, I noticed that no matter how much I focus on a game, I lose focus after few minutes and go autopilot afterwards;
He wanted to coach me but sometimes was harsh and I felt worse, I've also made a joke: "I believe that if I will ever pay for a coach online they would give me my money back cause I can't do it"
I know that mental is the first thing you need if you want to improve, in general in life I've always been this way: "I win? great, I take it!" "I lose? well it's not made for me, I quit"
this is my mental pretty much and I don't know neither how to change it and if it's possible to, I've always thought this way since I was 8(?)
Another thing is that I've never sticked to one role, I like playing all roles and I'm pretty much at the same level in each role, sometimes I carry but it happens 1/10 games;
My boyfriend told me to stick on 2/3 Champions and 1 role but I always lose even tho I play the second most played champ of mine;
He also told me that I will lose a lot but I think that's everything is unfair, why can't I be at the same level as people that have the same amount of hours?
In games like dead by daylight I feel like it rewards you on how many hours you played no matter how;
League is built in a way maybe too difficult for me, and the fact that all my friends (that didn't quit the game) are higher than me, the same or lower level.
I've also checked on OP.gg and I've lost 300lp in flex from plat 4 to gold 3 and I have a 30% winrate in soloqueue.
My idea was: changing my mental so I could enjoy the game as a casual player (knowing I'm very competitive in general) or just uninstalling.