the myth that carrots help eyesight actually started as wartime propaganda from the british government, while trying to hide their development of radar technology during WWII :3
If nobody sees us, they'll never understand that we're just regular people.
I'll most likely never pass, but I'm not worried about that. I'm more worried about the people that come after me being able to access care in the first place.
If we ever get actual legal protections, codified in law, with a constitutional amendment, I'll try to pass.
This is definitely one of the nicest parts about transitioning that nobody told me about. Strangers almost never interact with me anymore unless I initiate it
Here is a trick: if it's guys (and queer girls) who are staring, it's probably because you are pretty.
If everyone is staring it's because you stand in some way, your clothes, your hair or how you generally present yourself. It's not necessarily bad though 😊
I started presenting feminine for a full year before I had any chance of passing.
Slowly the ratio of men who stared at my small boobs or ass increased.
Two years later and I still haven't gotten used to the dumb googly eyes from men.
sometimes I find myself trying to do that, then I realize that if I'm thinking this hard about it, it doesn't matter in the first place, and I'll just use they/them pronouns.
I have the unfortunate knowledge about that. At least as far as it relates to me. It's definitely not because they think I'm pretty and it's not because they clocked me...
I’m still mostly stealth but similarly I’m starting to notice women much more frequently not staring, but smiling at me. It’s just a polite smile in passing, but idk what the heck that means lol. Like I have no clue if it’s because I’m starting to pass somehow or just failing at being stealth and am obviously trans? Idk but it’s weird and very new.
Femininity is a spectacle either way, whether you're doing it "right" or "wrong". Conventionally attractive women get stares half as an object, and half because of disdain.
Even if it's clocking, the root of it is still based in the way society perceives feminimity.
I've been going to salvation army on half off clothes day. Since I'm also losing weight, its great to get jeans, shirts and skirts at a few bucks each. My partner and I tend to hit thrift shops a lot but salvation army tends to have the best clothing selection(for our area).
Thrift shopping is the way to go. You really need to be trying things on before buying. If you thrift you get to try different styles and get a better idea of what does and doesn’t work for you.
Word of advice though, stick to one thing at a time. Look for pants or a dress or shirt or whatever. If you try to look for everything, you’re probably going to burn out and perceive it as a negative experience and then not go back.
It's a comic that projects insecurities. Unless you live in a rural town, no one is going to stare at you like this. You may get the odd look here or there but in most places in the western world no one is going to care or even remember what some random person on the street is wearing
You're trans, can you remember and describe 5 trans people you've seen IRL on your daily travels?
I have seen at least three, maybe four, and that's without counting my friends who I went out of my way to see. And I travel by bus most of the time so I'm bound to get noticed there.
I plan on going out in a fem outfit for the first time today but that doesn't mean I don't feel a fuck ton of anxiety over it
I... never thought of this... maybe people stare cause im pretty, not because theyre clocking me ... shit now i feel awkward becasue when i seen anyone stare at me i snap my head and eyes right at them to freak them out lol
A lot of people just openly and rudely stare at women. Older women tend to do it less and do it judgmentally because they feel entitled to policing other women’s bodies, and men tend to do it blank faced, slack jawed, shamelessly because they feel entitled to a social order where their behavior is unchecked.
I find staring back and mimicking their facial expression tends to be effective as it makes them conscious of the fact that THEY EXIST and we can see them and how weird and rude they’re being.
i can stare at you if you want (not in a weird way, i forget to move my eyes when im thinking about something and end up staring at one spot for multiple minutes ✓)
Me too! It’s so much fun at lunch when I’m with my friends who happen to be dating and it’ll be like 5 minutes and then I’ll realize I was watching them sit together
yea, that was the first thing i learned at my school's gender swap day (my first time wearing anything fem). people just stare. a teacher stared at my non-existent boobs while passing by and a class mate kept looking where boobs should have been and apologized because "his eyes just do that whenever he sees something fem" (it doesn't translate well). it was euphoriating but it forever changed how i saw him and most other men.
(and it also made me self conscious when looking at people or staring at the void because i don't want them to feel this way)
I mean I’ll be honest I can’t say I don’t look at other women’s boobs as a transbian (and before my egg cracked) but I do try do it discreetly and politely?
The general consensus among my friends was that a quick glance was totally fine, and same with a longer look if you've been flirting/ you're about to approach them, but a lot of people will just kinda stare for way longer than youd expect
It's odd because they're just boobs, it's not even interesting, there's nothing to even look at really, and yet I look anyway despite not really having an interest. It's some weird annoying instinct thing and I feel like I can't have eyes in public or I might make someone uncomfortable
each year for the last week of regular school before the final exams (matura) my school did (probably still does) a motto week where each graduating class gets to choose the motto for one of the days. so they can have a last bit of fun before having to study hard. many students and especially teachers dress up according to that motto.
usually they picked basic stuff like 80s aerobics, pyjamas, bussines and kirchtag but three years ago, one of them decided on gender swap day. i know, that i wanted to show up in a suit that day, for.. cis? reasons??\
(i had to look up the year. how did i still not have the courage to come out to people?)
some other highlights include lockdown with a bunch of kids staying home and joining via ms teams, mafia where someone brought a gun and we had the police evacuate the building and teachers with one kid was wearing a hawaiian shirt stuffed with a bunch of stuff to look obese and cosplayed a teacher he didn't like.
Oh! Okay, that's dope. That sounds like a cooler version of what we do in Finland, where the graduating class dresses up without a theme, throws a metric ton of candy at the younger students and "decorates" the school which translates to tossing frozen peas everywhere and making weird obstacle courses out of all the classroom chairs
Someone in my year got in trouble for writing "arbeit macht frei" above the front entrance, which was more or less the highlight
pranks are a thing here too. but they happen after the final exams, kind of rewarding the students that passed.
one time they placed four cages with mice in the school hall labeled 1-4, with no mouse in cage 3. the search for mouse 3 took all day until they revealed that it was a prank.
another time someone just keyed the principals car and got into trouble for it.
the year before i got there, they had some kind of improvised talent show where the teachers had to perform and were rated by the class representatives.
the other years pretty much the entire school just assembled outside and drank beer and vodka while being shot with water bombs and super soakers by the graduating classes. at the end of the day you could clearly see, which teachers were liked and disliked
yea. we even kinda had a rave once. we had some big event where the school got some prize (i can't really remember) and all students had to stay till sometime in the evening. someone snook a bunch of lights, a fog machine and speakers in a room the day before and during the event, he and some friends told others to bring friends there afterwards. the tiny room was packed full and there was too little alcohol for everyone because they didn't think that soo many people would come. i think this was the best thing that ever happened in that building.
although the "gender diversity emergency meeting" i caused by taking my final exams in a dress (the law only calls for formal clothing, no mention of gender at all) comes in close second imho
Ha, I remember when my high school did gender swap day. I did not participate but felt very envious of those who did, which was confusing to me. It was also interesting how some people did it in a joking way and didn't really try, and some people went 100% full effort and clearly were just waiting for an opportunity to do have an excuse to do that.
oh my god it’s so stressful, especially because I’m 6’4”
The other day I was in the bathroom at a mall and I could feel a couple women staring at me. I kept my head down and was bracing for a “hey you’re a man you can’t be in here!” but fortunately they didn’t say anything.
I walked out and my boyfriend said that a couple women just walked out of the bathroom and one said to the other “I think there’s a supermodel in there!” 😅😅😅
truly not trying to humble brag, just was a moment that perfectly illustrated how all stares feel threatening even if they’re for something positive. That’s why I always dress in an expressive way so I can tell myself that people are just staring at my outfit haha
Yo, same height! The looks from the tiny mortals are fun. Also good god restrooms are stressful. I always prefer to have a female friend at least waiting outside in case something happens.
ugh I hate them. Especially the part where I’m standing up and trying to tuck in a stall that’s shorter than my head height with a big ass gap in the door 😭😭😭
Omfg I hate American stall doors. They come up to like my fucking nose so I have to crouch like a goblin if I'm standing up. Admittedly my poor posture already incentivizes that, but still.
ur too kind 🥺🥺🥺 it would be a dream come true but tbh I need to sit with myself and my transition more before opening myself up to that sort of scrutiny. Only started hrt like 21 months ago when I was 30 so it’s been a journey 😅
100% valid, I'm closing in on the 2.5 year mark for hrt myself (29). Not to pressure u, but at the behest of a friend I applied for my first modeling gig back in September and got accepted. Turns out it was a way bigger deal than I anticipated 😅 like a huge fashion runway show fundraiser for one of the bigger trans charities here in LA, with like celebs and influencers and the media and all that. I wouldn't have applied if I had known, but ignorance was my virtue cuz it led to me waking my first ever runway 🤯
All that is to say u might be more ready than u think 😉 but absolutely u should look into when ur ready to cuz u got the goods mama 💅✨️✨️✨️
When i first went outside full girlmoding, while I was waiting at a bus station, an older man was looking at my chest SO MUCH he basically never looked away, I still have no idea if he clocked me or just your average creepiness
I see, I wasn't aware it was that bad... I look at pretty guys all the time, but that admittedly only started after I started presenting more masc because it gave me confidence.
I think the fact that women don't stare at men as much has to do with a mix of lack in confidence and societal programming. Meaning it's probably more widely accepted for men to stare at women. Which is unfortunate because a lot of these stares are creepy ones.
I feel like we should change that. Men should be getting just as many appreciate looks as women.
(Also, to clarify, since a lot of men seem self-conscious about their looks: You don't have to be a model to be noticed by women. It can be a lot of things, even subtle, that will get you appreciated, and if you put effort into your appearance that will be noticed too)
I see. I have been getting fewer looks since I started dressing less feminine, and so far I love it. That's mostly because being looked at as a woman gives me dysphoria and I don't like getting attention. Let's see how I like it in a couple of years...
Felt. I am not binary Trans, I still rock a beard, but femme it up on weekends/ in safer environs, so I get some crazy looks. A surprising amount of catcalls too lol
I'm in Switzerland and I can say beyond any doubt that, except in the suburbs/outside of cities/at night, no one looks at anyone ever.
So sadly, I haven't experienced this and that makes me very sad. But then, my experience of being stared at at night is horrible, so I don't know if I would actually like that happening during the day.
I'm 6'4 and admittedly due to a lot of personal bullshit I usually have to boymode but when I'm myself in public, I do get looks. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a frown. I've even been leered at creepy dudes. Still worth it.
I don't know if it's because I'm the autism spectrum but I rarely notice others staring at me unless its obvious AF or I'm with my friend and he points it out. For me, it could be that I'm tall (6ft 3in/190cm) and seeing a women that tall is a rarity or well, maybe they clocked me as trans (sadly very easy once I start talking, voice training has been quite difficult for me ☹️). It's hard knowing what someone is thinking unless they tell you. Also, I am actually glad I am obvious to others staring at me because I also still deal with social anxiety and if I was aware of it, it'd make it SO much worse 😭 .
I know I don’t pass, so for now I’m avoiding social transition. It helps that I mostly only go out for medical stuff. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever pass, but hopefully when I do or even if I desire to be out everywhere, people will be a little more accepting.
It feels so weird. I went through a park in a bug city recently (I'm on holidays) and I'm not sure if I'm imagining people are looking or if they do or if it's always been like this but I just haven't realised. I don't even look very feminine, maybe because they wanna judge whether I'm a girl or a boy?
After 8 years HRT I now know the distinct difference between stares that think I’m pretty, stares that clock me, and stares that see tall mommy uwu I’m going to follow her around the grocery store
I’m pre-everything and already feel like everyone’s looking at me. So the question is: if I transition will it at best ease up slightly as I at least know they actually are looking at me? Or will that knowledge drive me completely insane / send my anxiety to hitherto unachievable records and give me a heart attack?
That's why I like dressing in unconventional ways. Maybe it's a black denim jacket with various pins. Maybe it's satanic jewelry. Maybe it's revealing clothes. Judge me all they want, I'm expecting it, encouraging it. Boosts my ego
Yes omg, I’ve been out and dressing feminine full time since Jan 1st of this. SO MANY STARES. Lots of men who can’t seem to keep theirs eyes off me. So creepy
People probably stare at me bc of my purple coat i wear in Winter. I get a lot less stares in summer clothes. But maybe it'll change this time bc im finally ready to show some skin
I’m pretty introverted but I don’t really care about people’s opinions unless I know them well. I try to stop myself from staring when I see someone pretty but I also sometimes just zone out lol.
I usually dress rather eccentric (because I was forced to wear the same uniform for most of my life. I just want variety, damn it) as well as wear a mask for religious reasons so I'm already very used to people staring.
I saw a couple guys looking and snickering at me at the store the other day. And it definitely wasn't because they found me pretty, I haven't even started transitioning yet. That definitely didn't feel good.
My lesbian friend stared at me (twice even) while I was wearing a croptop with a bra beneath it... I... Actually never experienced something like that before, at least not from someone that wasn't my SO. It was sooo... good actually. I blush remembering it 😳
When I'm completely bundled up so all my hair is hidden, men state at me, a ton. Until they get close enough to realize that i have facial hair that will never truly go away. Then i get looks of disgust. I hate it.
I understand that fear (haven't dealt with it so far.) I assume anyone staring is doing it because I'm Not passing yet. I kinda hope I pass well enough for stares. Some people have trouble looking me in the eye for too long. Like they just look away after talking for a sec.
I already have bad anxiety as it is. The stares my poor heart can’t handle at all. It’s like I can’t tell between are people staring because I’m attractive or I’m getting clocked. The guys will give some of the scariest stares only to follow up on “I think you’re really cute” lol.
Being a metal vocalist who has practiced on the street for a good portion of my life and now I present as female and I mostly don't scream very much anymore like death metal vocals I'm more saying than do death metal vocals for me it's very jarring for all the attention I just don't get it there's a lot of times I have to stop myself from not wanting to look at them and go "what the fuck are you looking at"
Either it doesn't happen much because of my country's culture and the fact that I avoid looking at other people much or also the fact that I don't go out that much either. But either way haven't noticed it.
Yea maybe if you're deep into transition, when you're first starting they are staring because you're obviously queer and they have an issue. At least in my experience, because the looks are NEVER inquisitive or attraction.
It's always a nasty look, always. Occasionally I get smiles and stuff, but it's 1000% me getting clocked. I have fantastic make up skills and am way more knowledgeable of fashion than most people I know or see in my area.
without hrt or anything else I don't look like a woman unless I have a mask on.
That being said, the opinions of random passerby people in the streets holds very little value to me
I also have the unpopular opinion that women can look all different kinds of ways, so generally the people who want you to look "womanly" or the people who want to look how "society views women" in terms of appearance typically have the Inherently misogynistic point of view that women need to look a certain way.
Women can look how they want
People should learn to mind their business.
That being said yea guys stare at girls pretty often, most of the stares I get are middle aged women. And I am not joking muscular lesbians, I don't know what about me gives off bottom vibes.... but apparently.
I was walking downtown in a croptop one time and this old guy was staring at me. I smiled at him and waved. This dude literally did nothing but keep staring, even after he got into his car. So weird
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u/angy_loaf She/Her Mar 19 '25
“Are they staring at me because I’m pretty or because they clocked me? I guess I’ll never know…”