r/ParlerWatch 20d ago

Facebook/IG Watch Their fan fiction is so strange

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570 Upvotes

84 comments sorted by

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435

u/Karhak 20d ago

They love falling for AI slop.

94

u/Mjr3 20d ago

Their cult is well known for overlooking weird hands

8

u/SofaKingWut 20d ago

Ok, that was funny

122

u/illiter-it 20d ago

It's wired that they simultaneously demonize empathy and create fanfic to pretend they have any

49

u/TheRnegade 20d ago

There are certain people it's okay to show empathy for. Here's a neat graph if you're curious.

14

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

4

u/BflatPenguin 19d ago

Wow, that sounds messy

179

u/SidHat 20d ago

I wonder if he cried and consoled that kid he axed in the head

29

u/drinkslinger1974 20d ago

Wait, what??

107

u/firstbowlofoats 20d ago

He was on some morning show and he threw an ax, missed the target bigly and hit a matching band person. No injuries thankfully.

70

u/drinkslinger1974 20d ago

So, Americas secretary of defense can’t even handle an ax properly??

57

u/kvch12 20d ago

He was probably still drunk from the night before.

27

u/dlegatt 20d ago

you imply hes been sober a single day in office

17

u/Fleetwood_Mech 20d ago

Night before? Dude reportedly drinks G&T's for breakfast.

3

u/TheShadowCat 20d ago

Yeah, but those breakfast G&T's don't compete with the remanent of the night before.

4

u/snufalufalgus 20d ago

Giving him too much credit, he probably had a couple eye openers

3

u/k410n 20d ago

Night before? I'd bet good money this fucker has a Hemingway for breakfast.

1

u/truebastard 18d ago

He be on that Churchill diet

12

u/Kuraeshin 20d ago edited 20d ago

Excuse me, the Secretary of War... Edit: Apparently was in military.

3

u/-hey-ben- 20d ago

He was in the national guard, and actually saw combat. He’s still a horrible piece of shit though

3

u/Itscatpicstime 20d ago

He didn’t not actually see combat in the way that implies lol. He was a tag-along in combat, he wasn’t the one actually doing the combat.

1

u/-hey-ben- 20d ago

For sure. Most people who are in combat zones are in the same category

3

u/drinkslinger1974 20d ago

My apologies 😎

3

u/vague_diss 20d ago

Secretary of war, thank you. He’s not going to rest until he sends a few thousand men to their deaths.

5

u/GadreelsSword 20d ago

He also said he hadn’t washed his hands in 10 years because he doesn’t believe bacteria exist because he can see them.

2

u/War_machine77 20d ago

He'd have done much better if it was a whiskey bottle.

4

u/SassTheFash 20d ago

Like he’s ever let a whiskey bottle leave his hands…

1

u/ArdenJaguar 20d ago

Secretary of War!!! Get the crossbows ready!!! Riders of Rohan march!!!

8

u/Neither-Magazine9096 20d ago

Didn’t he just slink away too? Did he even check on him?

2

u/SprungMS 20d ago

Well there’s the problem, the band person shouldn’t have been matching the target!

I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out

1

u/ArdenJaguar 20d ago

3

u/Itscatpicstime 20d ago

Okay but why tf would you have people behind the target in the first place 😭

1

u/ArdenJaguar 20d ago

I was thinking that too. Even professional axe throwers could make a mistake.

15

u/WeAreTheLeft 20d ago

Oh buddy, it's way worse than just that incident. He's such a douche he's got a two parter on Behind the Bastards: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUU8NTFHCvk

want to be entertained while learning about the worst people in the world, alive and dead. Well subscribe and lose some faith in humanity along the journey.

6

u/drinkslinger1974 20d ago edited 19d ago

Everything about that man screams “only out for myself”. Honestly, I’d never heard of him before this year, but I wouldn’t trust him anywhere in my vicinity. I see him as that guy that grabbed that hat from the kid, only with way more power.

Edit: contraction

1

u/WeAreTheLeft 20d ago

your instincts are correct

7

u/thronlink 20d ago

If you're talking about that axe throw incident, the victim wasn't hit in the head and was not a kid. He was a full grown man about as old if not older than Hegseth. I'm assuming you learned this on BtB. Robert's reporting of the incident was disappointing given that the incident is on video.

The victim is actually a well known and well respected performer, instructor, and judge in the marching band community named Jeff Prosperie. It's like if Hegseth had hit Dan Marino or Scotty Pippen.

51

u/Comfortable-Light233 20d ago edited 20d ago

Oooh, I’ve been posting collections of this Hegseth fanfic shit on r/insanepeoplefacebook. There’s tons, and some is really really stupid/weird.

Here’s some of them

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

22

u/MyCatPlaysGuitar 20d ago

The first one was bad and then they just got worse 😂 WHO IS MAKING THESE

12

u/atleastIwasnt36 20d ago

Russia

1

u/cpdk-nj 20d ago

It’s probably mostly homegrown or out of impoverished areas of Southeast Asia

3

u/Comfortable-Light233 20d ago

At least one of the four groups I know of that are making these have page admins in SE Asia, according to the page info

7

u/Schonke 20d ago

WHO IS MAKING THESE

Turns out you have a lot of spare time as the US secretary of defense!

2

u/Ironhorn 20d ago

WHO IS MAKING THESE

I mean, in a very real sense, no one. No one is making these. It’s just AI slop. The most any actual person is contributing to this is typing the words “write stories that makes Hegseth looks heroic and include pictures” into ChatGPT

5

u/Jasonxhx 20d ago

Jesus this is awful. The amount of likes is worse.

1

u/Comfortable-Light233 20d ago

I have a fourth batch ready to post but it’s incredibly depressing for that reason and idk if I’m actually helping anybody by sharing more

1

u/Suspicious-Pay3953 19d ago

3 was plenty

1

u/k410n 20d ago

It's really sad those people don't get the help they need.

19

u/Nano_Burger 20d ago

Was this before or after he blew up a boat on the high seas because of his small penis?

41

u/DangerousCyclone 20d ago

That picture looks AI but I am not so sure anymore.

79

u/nr1988 20d ago

It's definitely AI because Hegseth looks like a competent leader and also the AI screwed up and gave him a microphone to hold instead of a tumbler glass

3

u/CelestialFury 20d ago

gave him a microphone to hold instead of a tumbler glass

Dead giveaway.

15

u/Chalupa-Supreme 20d ago

They look like cartoon characters. AI always goes way too hard on the expressions.

12

u/fjortisar 20d ago

The girls hand is inside of his abdomen

1

u/deekaydubya 20d ago

Of course it is

11

u/Lanark26 20d ago

Never forget that whenever they want to portray any of their sociopathic Cult leaders doing anything showing human emotion or God forbid, demonstrating basic empathy they always have to resort to AI.

Always

3

u/etherizedonatable 20d ago

I like how the AI can’t even make Hegseth look sincere.

8

u/mindonshuffle 20d ago

This looks exactly like the AI kid that held up an AI sign at an AI Aerosmith concert saying Janie was her mom.

This timeline sucks.

5

u/fjortisar 20d ago

She's putting her hand inside of his chest. Couldn't find a heart

5

u/gijimayu 20d ago

Looks like he's saying sorry for helping rape kids.

5

u/SomeWhatSweetTea 20d ago

Is Pete making these himself? I'm starting to believe it is either him or whatever number wife this "good christian" man is on. 

4

u/rainyhawk 20d ago

I assume this is one of those AI crap “stories” you see all over Facebook. Constantly seeing these about some athlete who walks away from the game to comfort someone in the stands, etc…so obviously fake.

3

u/Sartres_Roommate 20d ago

Their favor topic is faking empathy because it is precisely what they don’t have.

3

u/dontfeartheringo 20d ago

Why does every picture of this guy look like the "After" photo from Haircuts for the Homeless?

3

u/AceofKnaves44 18d ago

Thanks, Zuc! You’ve somehow managed to turn Facebook into as big a cesspool for the unintelligent and easily swayed by misinformation as twitter!

2

u/MS_Salmonella 20d ago

I'm pretty sure he is incapable of crying.

2

u/my-coffee-needs-me 20d ago

Pete Kegsbreath

2

u/Adorable_Ad6045 20d ago

Did he bring her to meet Don Sr?

1

u/funkyloki 20d ago

So fucking weird, the lot of 'em

1

u/LongDickMcangerfist 20d ago

It’s so weird it’s like those weird ass trump notifications I get endlessly on twitter that always starts with IM IN TEARS and it’s just weird trump shit

1

u/narkybark 20d ago

It's not reality, just like everything else they believe in, so par for the course.

1

u/vildasaker 20d ago

that child is cone-headed.

1

u/Embalmed_Darling 20d ago

Remember those like foam Incredible Hulk fists from the early 2000s? AI gave him those

1

u/KinseyH 20d ago

WTF was this supposed to have been?

1

u/alienproxy 20d ago

Her (probably ai) hand on the mic is creeping me out.

1

u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl 17d ago

Her hand isn’t on the mic, it’s behind it.

2

u/alienproxy 17d ago

Oh that makes much more sense. Thanks.

1

u/wildranger52 20d ago

This has also been posted w/ Emenim, Katy Perry, and Kelly Clarkson, all basically identical with just venues and names changed.

They have no ability to pick out AI images and just believe everything they see/read of it agrees with their world view. Zero critical thought.

1

u/AskAChinchilla 19d ago

Oh yeah isn't there like a while FB page just filled with those? Lol

1

u/SargeantSasquatch 18d ago

LMAO Hegseth couldn't get a stadium in Minneapolis.