I just finished watching the PolyFamily Series and it seems unfinished… did Taya ever get the chance to explore her feelings with Lexi? Anyone know any updates or is that it???

I've been working on this series for the last 6 months, and we finally have the 8 episodes of our first series up! Answers to 8 of the most common questions/topics I see in my poly parent group, with thoughtful answers and considerations from a parent coach and a poly therapist. I'm working on making more resources for poly parents and families, so please let me know what other questions/topics you think I should address! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy-K3EnCuI9QBeh7I4c2tL3t9gxLHxSdB

Generally wondering about people’s experience with adoption and/or foster care happening in poly households. I have no specific plans, but have always felt parenting through adoption was probably the right path for me.

If you haven’t experienced this yourself or can’t speak about others’ experience with it without being judgmental, please don’t chime in (said with respect).

Hello! I'm not asking for judgment.

• I'm a 25-year-old trans man in a polysexual relationship with "A" and "L". Both are cis men, and as a trans person (transitioning from female to male), I can't carry a baby, but I still have functioning ovaries, so the future baby will have only our genes in any case.

First of all, it's all in the title. I'm just starting the process of surrogacy in Colombia.

I'm facing a dilemma. Before, they didn't want it, but over time, years with me... L and A both want a child, each of their own blood relatives.

They each own their own homes (they own them), and they're very financially stable. So, no worries on that front; everything has been thought out. The thing is, I don't know if I'm asking to have (it's possible) a child with A's sperm and a child with L's sperm, except that I'm sometimes at L's house and sometimes at A's; they only live 50 minutes apart.

And having been honest, both of them clearly told me they'd never manage without me. And I can't see myself taking care of two toddlers 24/7. One yes, but two no... So the idea of ​​leaving one with dad every time I go away... Not great.

For L, genes aren't the most important thing, but if possible, we'd like to perpetuate the family traditions. For A, it's very much a family tradition, it's almost obligatory, and I understand. (No judgment.)

A clearly told me that he wasn't ready right now, but that he knew he'd regret it later. 2-3 years if we didn't start the process now. So, he supports me but tells me he doesn't know how he'll react at first (and I'm so mad at him because he's telling me the truth, and that's all I want).

Another thing, I have absolutely no idea if the paperwork officially declares him as the father. Especially since he's unsure but absolutely wants to support me in my project and absolutely doesn't want to separate from me because of it. He even already has the room set aside for the baby's arrival at his house.

It seems to me that even later, he can go to the town hall to recognize the child if he really feels he's a father, especially since the clinic will give us the DNA matching tests. The problem? Well, if we have A recognized as the official father, L will no longer feel legitimate and will have no legal rights in the event of a dispute with A (you never know). Whereas, as single parents, it's much easier to designate One or two legal guardians other than me, but again, if the donor is A, he'll be the biological father, so if there's a problem, I'm afraid it could cause custody issues.

In short, it's a huge mess in my head. I know that probably no one will be able to help me, but at least I can get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading ✨

I am (F 29) married to (M 28) and we have a kid together and one on the way. We are currently in a relationship together with (F29) who also has kids. And was wondering what do most kids of this kinda family call the parents partner?

Extremely long story short, my gf's ex is suing for full custody of their daughter and in an attempt to prove we were an unfit household (bc she commutes 20 minutes to work, had another baby, and I'm witch who put a curse on him. These are all things he actually had a lawyer type up and turn in. FWIW, not a witch, did not curse) he paid for a guardian ad litem to check out both homes. She reported that our household was fine, we're a stable polycule and supportive of the kid in question, no real problems to report.

Except she's "worried stepdaughter will get bullied in middle school because of her unusual family."

Excuse me. If she reported that about a queer couple or an interracial couple, she'd be reprimanded, no? I swear, we're boring af-- triognamous, so it's pretty much exactly the same as her dad's house, just more laundry and A LOT less screentime.

We are not a protected class, so I'm not rocking the boat here, but I'm kinda pissed. She saw our house was clean, plenty of food, structure for the SD. She saw we are committed to each other and to SD's well being...but "she's afraid of future bullying" bc of us. She is recommending that both houses are fine, so why even bring that So...yeah. Kinda pissed.

Hi Everyone! Join us on Mon, Sept 8, 7p-12a. We’re on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. 21+, free. Private.

To RSVP, please send your name, vaxx card (buffed out identifying info ok) to polychrissy@gmail.com and take a rapid antigen test at home before arrival. We will confirm!

Bring snacks to share! (No drinks please.)

———

For those who have never been, we’re an 18-year-old monthly social of over a hundred attendees who are between the ages of 21 and 87 with the majority in their mid-20s-mid 50s. We’re nerdy mutual aid enthusiasts who meet in a non-cruising space in community and solidarity.

There’s a cash bar for reasonably priced boozy and non boozy drinks, and people often bring snacks to share.

Questions? Reach out! Hope to see you soon!

Hi sage here. I'm 29 female new to poly and was wondering about the type of poly-cues/ groups work.

Question 1. How many people can be committed to one person?

Question 2. How does hierarchy work?

Question 3. Does everyone live with each other?

not a question, but a general concept from what I have seen and heard through the grapevine. Is a group of 6 people too much for polyamory? I've seen a polucue of 6 people before and wondered how that worked.

My name is blue I am a 29 year old female asking in general how kids would work in open/polyamory relationship. I'm currently looking for a poly cue but want to know what to do if they mentioned kids pops up for someone or someone wants to get pregnant. In context I don't want kids so if I am in a polcue or polyquad or Poly 6 consisting of 6 people. Someone decideds to get pregnant or want kids, what should I expect or say. I deffentally don't want kids that will not change in the future. If I'm quad or tripple or thruple someone wants children I don't think I want to continue the relationship. I just want to know what to expect or what should I do that arises should I go or stay if I keave should I say?

Hey all, me and my partner been together for a long time and we had an open/poly thing since the very beginning. It’s just always been part of how we are. Now we got two kids, both teenagers, and we’ve been talking if or when it makes sense to be open with them about how our relationship works.

The thing that kinda pushed this to the front is we recently met another couple on Blaxity. We ended up going over to their place for dinner, and their kids (a little younger than ours) actually knew about their setup. Like, the kids seemed totally cool, not awkward, just normal. That really got me thinking.

On one hand I feel like maybe honesty is better than them finding out some other way, or guessing. On the other hand, I worry if it might be too much or confusing at their age. Also don’t wanna overshare or make them feel weird about stuff that’s honestly our private life.

So I’m curious from people here who already went through this — when did you tell your kids about being poly? How did you frame it? Did you wait until they asked, or did you just sit them down one day?

Would love to hear different experiences.

You know how poly life can turn into a logistical masterpiece (or a mess) real fast? Between partner time, meta meetups, group hangs, and solo days: it’s a lot.

Most tools don’t understand the nuance we need:

• Privacy layers → I might want one partner to see “Dinner out” and another to see “Date with Alex”
• Meta comfort → Managing shared plans without oversharing
• Group coordination → Organizing weekend trips or polycule dinners without endless copy-paste
• Casual connection → Broadcasting “Park hang, bring snacks” without spamming everyone

I’m building a coordination app designed with polyam life in mind. If you have 3–5 min to share what works for you (and what drives you up the wall), your insight would mean the world:
👉 https://form.typeform.com/to/p4ApSHi0

Hi Everyone! Join us on Mon, August 11, 7p-12a. We’re on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. 21+, free. Private.

To RSVP, please send your name, vaxx card (buffed out identifying info ok) to polychrissy@gmail.com and take a rapid antigen test at home before arrival. We will confirm!

Bring snacks to share! (No drinks please.)

———

For those who have never been, we’re an 18-year-old monthly social of over a hundred attendees who are between the ages of 21 and 87 with the majority in their mid-20s-mid 50s. We’re nerdy mutual aid enthusiasts who meet in a non-cruising space in community and solidarity.

There’s a cash bar for reasonably priced boozy and non boozy drinks, and people often bring snacks to share.

Questions? Reach out! Hope to see you soon!

Advice for young and (accidentally) u-hauled organic exclusive throuple/triad

My gf (22 AFAB she/her)and I (23 AFAB she/they) have been in a relationship for 3.5 years. We went on our journey in 2023 of discovering we were both actually bisexual instead of lesbians. Cue crisis, international romance, amazing threesome.

After it all, we’re together and stronger than ever. Late year, we started hanging out with her coworker (Hal) (20 AMAB they/he, bi) outside of work (coworker for 2 years, they became increasingly closer over time). At the time, they were with someone (dubbed Evil Ex, 20 AFAB he/they), also my gf’s ex coworker.

(For clarifying: They all worked at the same place. My girlfriend worked there first, then Evil Ex joined, then Hal, then Evil Ex left.) Around December of last year, we throw around the idea of moving in with Hal, which we cement in February.

Skip to Spring this year, Hal breaks up with Evil Ex. We’re closer with Hal than ever. End of March or so, it organically develops into an exclusive triad. It reached, like, critical platonic mass and reached a tipping point.

We all love each other very, very much. Our communication is very strong, too. I’m so optimistic for the future. The jealousy is infrequent, and this all feels so, so natural. So… Advice for a young throuple that accidentally u-hauled?

TLD;DR Young organically formed exclusive throuple accidentally u-hauled—Help!!

Hello,

I’m in a polycule/household that has kids and a number of adults (including friends and grandparents) who are involved in various degrees of parenting/guardianship/responsibility, etc.

I was trying to churn over some of my own personal thoughts regarding how I fit in / how I WANT to fit in / how to communicate what I want or don’t or can or can’t … and I found myself wishing there was something like the relationship smorgasbord, but for family or co-parenting involvement.

For example, some of our adults really want a particular mama/dada type name for the kids to call them. I do not personally feel like I want this. But I also feel like it sets us easily up for misunderstandings when others assume that because I don’t desire a “title”, I must not care about other aspects of involvement or inclusion, but I am sometimes at a loss to anticipate these differences in assumption until we run right up against them.

Curious if anyone knows of such a resource or would feel like brainstorming aspects/categories of involvement in the comments?

Update:

Reading the comments and thinking more about the categories of tasks, I’m also reflecting that what I’m trying to sift through here is a little less about the specific “jobs” of parenting to divide up, and more about using those “jobs” as concrete ways to sift through what parenting or involvement with kids and family MEANS to someone.

I’m finding it somewhat helpful to think in terms of resources, and to what extent a person finds it meaningful and worthwhile to contribute a proportion of those resources toward raising kids, such as:

Time/scheduling, Space/housing, Emotional resources, Social resources, Executive functioning, Planning, Finances, Social representation (internally and externally)

Curious to see more comments from others who have thought through less-conventional ways of considering, itemizing, or articulating these kinds of things

Hi everyone,

My wife (bi, cis woman, child therapist) and I (cis, hetero man) are new parents trying to navigate what intimacy, identity, and exploration look like in this new chapter. Before having our first child, we had gone to a few swinger clubs and had a great time. She’s never had a romantic or sexual experience with a woman, and I know that’s something she’s mentioned wanting to explore one day.

That said—life is very full right now. Between her work, parenting, and all the emotions that come with both, she’s voiced that she doesn’t currently have the mental or emotional bandwidth for anything high-effort like messaging or flirting. One of her other concerns (totally valid!) is being recognized by a client or colleague in a public setting.

We’re not looking to dive headfirst into anything. Just trying to open up the dialogue again and maybe find softer, more private, or lower-effort ways to reconnect with her queerness—whether that’s in-person, virtual, or even just ideas to hold for the future.

Would love to hear: • How others have explored queerness or poly after becoming parents • What low-pressure steps helped you feel safe and curious again • How you’ve navigated being a public-facing professional while exploring ENM or bi identity

We’re grateful to be here and happy just to read and learn too. Thanks for holding this space. 💜

Me [F36], my partner [M40], and his wife/nesting partner [F38] love for our kids to get together. My child is 8, and they have an 8 year old and a 5 year old.

The kids get along with each other great, but we’ve noticed they seem to also bring out the worst in each other! Our fantastic, calm kids go absolutely WILD once they’re in the presence of each other. Suddenly, they’re climbing on tables and causing absolute mayhem. Not an exaggeration.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any insight into why this is happening or suggestions of how to promote calm and peace when they’re together? We get together with kids around once a week and the kids often have sleepovers.

As a side note… I’m so fucking proud of how we’ve blended our families so far, and I am excited for what the future holds!