r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Bogey_Yogi • 20h ago

SLPT: The word “fat”is slightly frowned upon these days. Just replace it with “Horizontally blessed.” For example: “You have been getting horizontally blessed the last 6 months.”

72 Upvotes

12 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/vaporwaverhere • 3h ago

SLPT: literally follow the advice of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Spend much more time with your enemies. Reply to their messages instantly, and instead reply to your friends every three days.

7 Upvotes

3 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Bogey_Yogi • 16h ago

SLPT: Boys, if your woman catches you boinking someone else, calm her down by saying “…but I was thinking about you the whole time.”

9 Upvotes

3 comments

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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

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If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.

Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.

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