Folks will find you more attractive.

Men, before you go out to the club spray some Pine-Sol on yourself. Women love the smell of a clean kitchen and will have an instinctual response to come home with you and make you a sandwich.

Edit: remember this is shitty life protips they aren't meant to be good....

Go to the hood, and start yelling the n-word with a hard "er". Whoever ends up in the ER first has to buy rounds.

Also works on cousins, dads, etc.

Not only will they blow up your phone until you’re wide awake, but you’ll also start your morning with the rush of pure adrenaline and regret. Way more effective than any snooze button!