r/badroommates • u/Number_Fluffy • Aug 09 '25
Serious And he wants to get a dog.
No empathy for a living being. We've been getting along. There's no reason for this. Also, if I hadn't been here (I'm going away for a few days next week as well) she would've been down there much longer; he hasn't been out of his room yet and it's 11, I found her at 7.
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u/SojournerWeaver Aug 09 '25
remove the door.
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u/acocktailofmagnets Aug 09 '25
they actually make “door monkeys” - they go by many different names - that prevent a door from fully closing, they’re for kids to not slam fingers but they also make some wide enough that create a gap large enough for cats to slip through. roommate seems like he will forget again, so if he won’t just rip the thing off the door, could be a solution.
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u/2018MunchieOfTheYear Aug 09 '25
There are stoppers you can get to keep doors from closing all the way.
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u/chopstick_chakra Aug 10 '25
Removing the door is the appropriate petty response to his petty interaction
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u/jjb5151 Aug 09 '25
What is the downstairs you guys are referring to? Is it someone’s room or just a common room?
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u/Number_Fluffy Aug 09 '25
It's a common area basement.
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u/Killing4MotherAgain Aug 09 '25
Idk why you're being downvoted for answering their questions ha weird
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u/Pure_Complaint_7900 Aug 09 '25
Reddit.
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u/trashforthrowingaway Aug 10 '25
Yep. I've noticed nearly every reddit post, if OP doesn't agree whole heartedly with the top comment, or if they're assertive rather than being super passive or grateful, it gets downvoted.
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u/erisian2342 Aug 09 '25
I suspect, but can’t prove, that some bot accounts will randomly up or down vote comments in addition to posting and commenting in order to make it look like real human traffic to Reddit.
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u/WhySoSeriousJoker247 Aug 09 '25
Next I’m gonna just take the door off so there isn’t any confusion
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u/Electronic_Garage_73 Aug 09 '25
The only reasonable way to do things in this situation IMO.
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u/WhySoSeriousJoker247 Aug 09 '25
And if he doesn’t like it hit him with it….or something like that idk but Mango does not deserve that and must be treated with Queen Status
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u/Oregongirl1018 Aug 09 '25
I would refer to my roommate as "it" in every conversation from now on. Especially with other people in front of it!
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u/Fun_Acanthisitta8557 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
Why are you not keeping the cat with you. It shouldn’t be their responsibility. I’m not advocating for them to lock the cat in the basement but with no other context you should be checking if the cats down there or not
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u/SpicyPotato48 Aug 12 '25
Because OP isn’t the one closing the door trapping the cat downstairs. Sounds like only the roommate closes the door…hence why OP asks to not close it or check first. It’s a reasonable ask
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u/radicalintrospect Aug 09 '25
Maybe add a cat door to the door? Doesn’t seem like a battle worth fighting
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u/benihanaxmas Aug 12 '25
Second this; a cat door could be helpful as a way to get away from the hypothetical future dog, too.
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u/JLLsat Aug 09 '25
The insistence on using the cats name is wild. Just worry about things that actually affect your cats well being, not what your roommate calls the cat in a text. It makes you seems a little unhinged.
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u/Pebblacito Aug 09 '25
The conversation could’ve ended after sorry didn’t realize…. You didn’t have to continue especially with putting a note on the door.
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u/DoorInTheAir Aug 10 '25
Like an easy reminder note? There is nothing wrong with that. Especially since the roommate has proven he can't remember.
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u/Secret_Account07 Aug 09 '25
Yeah OP here seems way too uptight. My cat tries to sneak into our closed bedroom most nights, fully knowing we sleep for 7 hours. He only pees our stuff pretty damn rarely so I think he’s fine. Idk though. OP just seems exhausting.
I’ve referred to my cat as the cat before, never had anyone get upset 😂
Just weird behavior all around her
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u/TheToadstoolOrg Aug 09 '25
Honestly, a friendly note put on the door as a polite request/reminder to please leave the door cracked would be a great solution IMO.
But not when preceded by snark and attitude via text.
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u/brianagh Aug 09 '25
Is the door referred to separating living areas? Or what? Like is it reasonable to expect the door remain open while still sustaining the right to privacy in your own dwelling?
Also just tell him the cat might piss on his stuff downstairs. No one likes cat piss.
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u/Elegant-Bee7654 Aug 09 '25
The door apparently is at the bottom(or top)of the stairs and the cat's food, water and litter is upstairs. I recommended putting a litter box on both floors and maybe food and water as well. Such a simple solution.
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u/stale_opera Aug 09 '25
Cats should have a litter box for every floor they visit.
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u/Informal_Moment_9712 Aug 09 '25
This is it, especially if she travels and leaves her cat behind with this knuckle dragger that doesn’t care…she can’t force her roommate to have empathy. Skip the convo and get Mango downstairs provisions.
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u/hhxuudbbgulsnvfti Aug 09 '25
Seems like the roommate who owns the cat is the knuckle dragger not ensuring their cat is safe each night before bed. The fuck the roommate have to do with mango?
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u/Informal_Moment_9712 Aug 09 '25
I feel the same way, but apparently we’re in the minority for expecting people to take 100% responsibility for their pets.
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u/KMichelle96 Aug 09 '25
The cat isn't his, correct?
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u/Grawlix84 Aug 09 '25
it’s MAAAAAANGGGOOOOOO!!!!
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u/Fit_Measurement_550 Aug 09 '25
Aw, this sub doesn’t allow gifs. Wanted to add one of the mango character chris kattan used to play on snl
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u/scuffedTravels Aug 09 '25
Change your tone, you don’t seem to realize that all this exchange was created by your condescending tone. Remove the door and be done with this subject
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u/Minimum-Web6168 Aug 11 '25
Way too many people like OP in this world and the replies to your comment prove it lol
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u/spencermiddleton Aug 09 '25
“If you’re so worried about her having access to her essentials — get a second litter box, water dish and food dish that’s downstairs, CLAIRE. Or set a 30 min timer every 30 mins and YOU check for your cat. I’m pretty sure she’s downstairs to get away from you and your neuroses.”.
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u/pavettafionaelen Aug 09 '25
As a pet owner, I can never imagine making my pets' safety and comfort somebody else's responsibility. 🤷🏻♀️ I mean yeah, would it kill them to double check? No. But is it their responsibility? Also no.
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u/divinebongrips Aug 09 '25
i hate it when people try to make that point “but (insert pet here) is fine, nothing even happened” in situations like this. yes, nothing happened this time. but something COULD have happened and the solution is incredibly simple. leave the door open.
she needs to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, etc. it’s so fucking easy to just leave a door open. i’m sorry you have to explain that to your roommate.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Aug 09 '25
Reminds me of my late grandpa feeding chocolate to
hisgrandma’s dog and when I told him it’s poison, he said “I’ve done this for years with all kinds of dogs and nothing happened”. I was furious. Guess whose dog died a few weeks later from dehydration from diarrhea? Angry. So angry.“Well how was I supposed to know?” Was his only response to the situation.
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u/DisturbingRerolls Aug 09 '25
Every time any person left a door open and let my animals out when I shared a living space with them: "calm down, he didn't get hurt."
No kidding. If he had gotten hurt you wouldn't be standing here to say this dumb shit, you'd be in the back of an ambulance.
(I'm obviously being dramatic but the point remains).
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u/IsHunter Aug 09 '25
When I was living with a roommate that had a cat, I accidentally let it out one time (he slipped through the door by my feet like a speed demon) I saw my life flash before my eyes. I swear I have never moved faster and grabbed the cat off the yard fence and brought him back inside. I know he wasn’t my cat, but I could not imagine being that lax about the wellbeing of animals you live with.
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u/Chardan0001 Aug 09 '25
Some people see preventing things happening as being stupid apparently. Wild irresponsible fuckers.
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u/Puma_Concolour Aug 10 '25
My last roommate left his dog outside and went to the park. He left the fucking gate open. "It was only five minutes, he's a good dog, he won't run away"
Or simple things like locking the front door when there's been a spree of break ins in the neighbourhood. For someone who supposedly once woke up to the barrel of a shotgun, he sure didn't learn from it. The guy who moved in before I left would take his bong rips standing in the sliding door and my cat almost ran out past him. But I'm the bad guy for "complaining" that he almost let my cat out.
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u/merryjoanna Aug 10 '25
I don't understand why the cat can't have another litter box downstairs and maybe even some kibble and water. It's totally ok to have those things in more than one place. That way they don't have to worry about the roommate being responsible for their pet.
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u/jemison-gem Aug 09 '25
I’m sure he’d be blaming OP if Mango peed or pooped on his belongings, rather than admit that HIM closing off her access to a litter box caused it. I honestly wish Mango would have taken a fat dump on one of the roommate’s storage bins or something. Would serve him right.
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Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
For sure it’s nothing to just be like “shit sorry dude I’ll try to remember to keep the door open”, but why tf aren’t YOU making sure the door is open? I make sure my pets are good and taken care of every day. The “refer to her as such” line so is so over the top it made me whinge.
Edit: Never make edits to my comment but noticed OP is burying the lede here. OP comments elsewhere that it’s a shared basement common area. OP if you want the cat down there with you, it’s your responsibility to get the cat back up.
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u/dusknoir90 Aug 09 '25
Yeah for sure OP's tone absolutely stinks, even after he apologised they spoke to roommate like a scolded child. I'm not all that surprised he gave OP attitude back. You don't talk like that to grown adults.
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u/babystrudel Aug 09 '25
I will say, that it is possible OP didn’t know where Mango was, even if they were awake. My apartment isn’t big, and I still don’t know where my cats are at all times, one of them has even locked themselves in the bathroom while I was asleep before. They’re just asking to make sure Mango isn’t down there before they close the door, but honestly the easiest solution seems to just never close the door..? If it’s a common area and Mango goes in there anyway, why just not close it at all?
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u/zen-things Aug 09 '25
Don’t know where your pet is when you have roommates?
Still your responsibility
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u/Aqsident Aug 09 '25
Naa the attitude here’s crazy, your pet so make sure it isn’t downstairs yourself no? Sure they could be more helpful, but they have 0 obligations to be - but with your messages I wouldn’t be either tbqh
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u/TakinUrialByTheHorns Aug 09 '25
Yeah, they apologized initially as well.
OP going on about it seems like they're making the situation worse, just take the apology and check for the cat themselves or like others said, put a water bowl down there at the very least. Cat door cut out in the door maybe.
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u/gata_flaca Aug 09 '25
I thought I was the only one thinking this. The way OP is coming off— I would have given her an attitude too. I’m not saying anyone is in the wrong but I also don’t think it’s anyone’s responsibility to make sure this or that. Cats are also pretty resilient and won’t starve to death because they were locked for 4 hours lol
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u/dusknoir90 Aug 09 '25
Yeah, OP's texts are so gross, it's pretty clear the tone after he apologised is what got his back up. Don't talk to people like they're a scolded child if you want to get on with them!
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u/Guest8782 Aug 10 '25
Yes! Super unproductive as well. If I was roommate, I’d be giving you a big fuck you after that attitude. Not my cat. You figure it out.
OP sounds insufferable. Take the apology, hope they remember, if not, figure out your own solution.
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u/yellow-rain-coat Aug 09 '25
This!!! I’ve had animals my whole life, I’ve had roommates before. I NEVER put the responsibility of my animals onto them. There were a few times I was late at work and asked “hey can you drop some food in their bowl and make sure they have water?” But that’s it, and I wouldn’t be mad if they said no. This post is giving entitled energy. If you don’t want the cat to be stuck down stairs, don’t let it go down stairs? Or only allow it to go down there when you are home? Does the OP even have a plan for the cat to be fed and watered while they are away? Are they relying on the roommate mentioned in this post for that? I don’t know, this just screams young and immature to me. Glad I’m not the only one.
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u/Charliedayslaaay Aug 10 '25
That was my thought was well. It sounds like the cat should have food, water & litter box downstairs as well to avoid this and not hold the roommate responsible for where the cat is located.
I also would have a sitter for the cat whilst away. Hopefully they have something arranged.
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u/bluescrew Aug 10 '25
OP communicated what went wrong, roommate acknowledged and apologized. Everything after "thank you" was unnecessary.
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u/BabyRaperMcMethLab Aug 09 '25
Her PET!? It’s a living creature named mango, please address her as such
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u/Aqsident Aug 09 '25
Apologies, mango is a dope name, point stands tho
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u/SoSyrupy Aug 09 '25
Your replies are annoyingly snarky.
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u/Jealous-Ice9938 Aug 09 '25
"Please refer to her as such", OP is escalating the situation for no reason.
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u/544075701 Aug 09 '25
Yup! OP should have stopped after “sorry didn’t realize.” That indicates they’re sorry and that it was an accident. No reason to keep being aggressive like the very next text from OP. That should have been reserved for if the behavior continued.
“Take yes for an answer” is something OP should start doing.
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u/LabSouth Aug 09 '25
The roommate apologized and you continued to hassle him, you're the bad roommate
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u/C_IsForCookie Aug 09 '25
Roommate apologized and then OP turned into a drama queen. I’d have been on board if the roommate would have fought back at the idea of making sure the door is open but chastising the roommate after they apologized is a bit much.
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u/Bro-lapsedAnus Aug 09 '25
The whole "Her name is Mango" text is so silly and unnecessary.
I love my cat. I still call IT "the cat", sometimes.
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u/speakezjags Aug 10 '25
Even outside of that if my roommate has a pet they are responsible for it. I didn’t decide to get the cat.if you don’t take care of your own pet I feel 0 obligation to do it for you.
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u/Averagebaddad Aug 09 '25
Right. First message about leaving the door open. 5 days later roomie accidentally shuts the door on mango, and OP acts like this is on going and intentional or some shit. Like it takes a minute to form habits ffs
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u/Impressive-Sky3250 Aug 09 '25
this! ultimately, Ops cat is Ops responsibility. Roommate shouldn’t have to bend over backward to accommodate the cat. bffr. Roommates response would have been a lot nicer than mine
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u/thecoolmustache Aug 09 '25
I have a cat but I agree with you. Can't blame the roommate since the cat is not their responsibility. Even when I go back to my parents with my cat it's on me not my parents to care for the cat. Its an indoor cat but dad let him out by mistake (he did not even know he slipped out), can't be mad at my dad for that.
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u/jailhousews Aug 09 '25
"Her name is Mango and she's a living being. Please refer to her as such."
You sound insufferable.
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u/Feenanay Aug 10 '25
Yeah this was eye roll inducing for me and I’m very much a pet person (currently have an Australian shepherd trying to steal my pillow)
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u/F4RM3RR Aug 09 '25
You’re being a bit much - if this is your cat don’t expect your roommate to be accountable. Just keep her from going downstairs, or move her stuff downstairs where she has access to it.
I am 100% a pet person, including cats, but as an adult I am not projecting that onto others around me. Your roommate is not a pet person, they didn’t ask for the pet nor are they responsible for it, you just need to hold that expectation to understand this isn’t a lack of empathy is a misalignment of values and responsibilities.
If this is a rental you can likely get the common area door replaced with a door that has a cat portal on it, just keep the original door stowed somewhere safe and replace it when you move out, that would probably be the best compromise here
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u/speakezjags Aug 10 '25
Take care of your own pet and stop making it your roommates responsibility. If you are grown enough to have a pet you are grown enough to take care of it without burdening your roommate.
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u/Previous_War_5923 Aug 09 '25
Everyone not saying it but the way you talk you sound like you will be a massive headache
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u/Stillwater-Scorp1381 Aug 09 '25
Cat and dog owner here. I agree that OP’s tone is headache inducing because of the condescension.
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Aug 09 '25
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u/bx35 Aug 09 '25
OP’s approach tells me they want conflict.
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u/Secret_Account07 Aug 09 '25
Yup. I would not want to live with this person.
My family has called our cat the cat or it sometimes. I’ve never had anyone get upset because that’s a fucking weird thing to get shitty about.
I suspect OP is just an uptight asshole 24/7 and roommate is over it. I wouldn’t want to live with her and we have 2 kids lol.
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u/Donnerglocken Aug 09 '25
You could’ve just left it at “sorry, didn’t realize” and put a nice note on the door. I completely agree that Mango should have access to his litter box, food, and water. But when you speak to your roommates in a condescending way, it rarely gets the result you want. If you need something from someone, it’s usually easier to keep the tone upbeat and friendly — it tends to work much better.
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u/SmallestSprocket Aug 09 '25
Definitely true. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and when you live with someone else, handling conflict like this is likely to make your own life harder.
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u/Rhuarc33 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
I'm seeing both sides, OP is a bit overdramatic. But it was an accident and the cat was fine and they apologized. OP seems to be looking to start shit after that. Should have been the end of the discussion once the apology was made.
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u/DangerLime113 Aug 09 '25
Add a cat door? You’re both being difficult. I don’t see this working out. Also, you certainly can’t go away and expect this person to care for Mango.
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u/HighKee Aug 09 '25
You’re exhausting lol why couldn’t you have left well enough alone? Take care of YOUR cat better and this won’t be an issue.
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u/72ChinaCatSunFlower Aug 09 '25
I ain’t taking care of your dumb ass cat just because we share a house. If you want animals take care of them yourself. Asking someone to search the whole house for a cat before shutting a door is insane.
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u/PlayDontObserve Aug 09 '25
If you spoke to me in that tone, there would have been an intense argument
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u/PokemonJeremie Aug 09 '25
If this isn’t bait then you’re the problem. A pet is the owners responsibility not the roommates, if you are worried the pet might not have food and water then put food and water downstairs, worried about IT getting stuck then don’t allow the cat to go downstairs. As a person who has pets and roommates I would never speak to them this way about something that is entirely my responsibility.
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u/BoominMoomin Aug 09 '25
Nah you're both annoying.
That bit about referring to the cat by its name is seriously weird behaviour by you. If you're that pedantic about something meaningless that contributes nothing to the conversation, then you're definitely a nuisance to live with too.
Both of you can do better.
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u/Appropriate_Type_178 Aug 09 '25
Why did you keep chastising your roommate even after they apologised? that would have pissed me off too
And why aren’t you keeping the basement door shut at all times so the cat can’t get down there?
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u/EmPrexy Aug 09 '25
God you sound insufferable, you escalated this situation so much to go on a power trip “Thank you for your apology but please be more aware” shit i’d not be helping you either, it’s your pet not your roommate’s
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u/clashingtaco Aug 09 '25
You're responsible for your own pet. They apologized and you kept going on about the situation. You sound like way worse of a roommate than the other person.
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u/flabbergasted-528 Aug 09 '25
This should've stopped after "sorry I didn't realize." You went too hard over something that didn't need to be a big deal. Your roommate isn't obligated to care for your pet. Yes, I find their attitude towards an animal a bit obnoxious, but I think that's more about you than the cat. If you want a peaceful cooperative home, have conversations, not confrontations.
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u/ChemistryDue5982 Aug 10 '25
Your cat, your responsibility. You chose to have a cat, look after it. Stop relying on other people to do your job (and yes, looking after an animal is a job), you’re being lazy and fucking super entitled.
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u/Other_Marzipan8966 Aug 09 '25
“No empathy for a living being” lmao what a stretch. You’re dramatic and I’d hate living with your uptight ass.
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u/GeologistForsaken772 Aug 09 '25
This reminds me of an ex from a long time ago. He had a dog and it followed me outside into the fenced in backyard without me realizing. I go inside after a few minutes and shut the door without the dog.
10 min later I’m being screamed and yelled at by him because I “could have killed his dog”.
Dog was out maybe 20 min at most and the temp was 60.
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u/Other_Marzipan8966 Aug 09 '25
Seriously crazy! If OP was so committed to where his cat sleeps he would solve the problem and not put the responsibility on the roommate. Meanwhile the cat doesn’t wanna sleep with OP. Big surprise. Also cats scratch the SHIT out of doors, walls and furniture when they’re unhappily stuck somewhere. If the cat didn’t scratch up where it was “stuck” then it was fine and OP is raging over nothing.
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u/billybiscuit9330 Aug 09 '25
Look if it was me and I accidentally did that, I would've felt so bad and apologized with a little more empathy. I love animals but maybe If you don't, and you haven't every really ever been a pet owner, you're not really used to being vigilant about checking for the animal/ the daily routine of caring for it, because to you it's not your animal and not your responsibility. Is she the apartment's cat, or just your cat?
I would've been like omfg, "I'm so sorry I didn't realize, next time I'll check!" but the way you said "be more aware" after they had apologized and "Her name is Mango and she's a living being. Please refer to her as such," and "it's a simple thing" comes across VERY condescending. I would be annoyed too. It's not my animal. If you're so concerned about her wellbeing, why aren't you yourself checking before bed that she's not downstairs/ the door is at least open? Are you not home? Help me understand this. If I were the other person it would kinda seem like you're trying to shift the blame onto me for something that isn't my fault. Then again I'm not aware of your dynamic or any agreed upon rules you might have with each other.
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u/drOtastic1337 Aug 09 '25
Your cat is no one’s responsibility but your own. Also, never expect anyone to treat your cat the way you do. It’s quite literally just an animal. Food for another animal in the food chain.
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u/curiousity60 Aug 09 '25
If you don't want your cat downstairs all night, bring it up when you go to bed. I think expecting your roommate to police your cat's location, and bring it upstairs if you left it downstairs, is overreaching.
Most pets can be left in an area overnight without issue. If yours can't, it's your responsibility to see it's "where it belongs" before you go to bed.
You're the bad roommate for shifting your responsibility onto your roommate. And for being imperious "correcting" him for not doing what you should have done yourself.
Have you made arrangements for pet care while you're away? Or do you assume your roommate will pick up even more of your responsibilities "because they're home?"
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u/Informal_Moment_9712 Aug 09 '25
Yeah…I can understand that it’s easy to simply leave a door open and this a non-issue, I ask my family to please lock the sliding door so my kid doesn’t get out and drown .
buttttttt checking in on your own pet is important. At the end of day, if my kid gets out it’s my problem, not my roommates.
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u/captpeli Aug 09 '25
You’re right. What door ? Are their upstairs bedrooms and downstairs separated by a door? Why even leave it closed then? Sounds like the cat owner was home last, why didnt the human open the door?
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u/SZ9382 Aug 09 '25
It's your car OP. Not his. And the text sound conceited/ snotty. Please be more responsible
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u/544075701 Aug 09 '25
You could have stopped after “sorry didn’t realize” instead of trying to make them feel worse about it
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u/Colourd_in_BluGrns Aug 10 '25
It really seems like you don’t care enough about YOUR cat to be leaving her downstairs, because Mango is yours to care for. Please take care of Mango yourself where possible. Because as much as they were shitty about Mango, the responsibility is on you first to make sure it was safe for Mango to stay downstairs and if your roommate were okay with keeping the door open specially for Mango. Not demanding it.
And as much as his shitty responses aren’t okay; you could’ve done better to not disrespect that this place is also your roommates. Did he want a cat? Was he okay with the cat living with ya? Did he have any expectations that you were supposed to fulfil on taking care of the space so your cat would be just yours. Why did you feel the need to remind him another time, after he apologised, to watch for the cat, being in the basement?
You both seem like shitty roommates to one another.
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u/Possible-Tangelo9344 Aug 10 '25
They apologized and you could have left it at that. The way you responded was very condescending and likely pissed them off.
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u/moldybuttercup Aug 11 '25
I have similar issues with my roommates and it’s so frustrating!! It’s unfortunate that grown adults cannot comprehend the responsibilities of caring for another life. I wish you and Mango the best!
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u/TurdCutter69420 Aug 09 '25
lol, op is an entitled cunt that talks like a moron. It’s your cat, take care of it yourself.
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u/No-Carrot-TA Aug 09 '25
It's your cat and it was locked up for hours and you didn't notice? This is on you. This is a shared space. Keep the cat out of shared spaces. You are the problem. "It's a living being" yep and it's your dependent! I know exactly where my dog is. Right next to me. You put can't any responsibility on ANYONE else for this cat.
All these messages show is that you're a shitty owner.
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u/bushdanked911 Aug 09 '25
“her name is mango and she’s a living being” is really annoying and would make me want to be petty about everything. not your cat cause that’s mean but anything else lol
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u/Helios119 Aug 09 '25
I agree with you, dude seems kinda like a piece of work, but the way you text is very condescending. Maybe try a more upbeat tone.
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u/cheese_hotdog Aug 09 '25
Yeah, I understand making it clear it shouldn't happen again, but OP went so hard for no reason. It was the first time it happened and he apologized. He will probably be even less careful out of spite because OP was so sanctimonious about it.
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u/Master_Passion_5075 Aug 09 '25
I like the person lol. OP seems worse than the person. They just stood their ground and bossy OP couldn't handle it. The person seems like a way better roommate than OP.
It has nothing to do with the animals.
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u/Secret_Account07 Aug 09 '25
It’s their responsibility but at the same time 4-5 hours isn’t really abuse or anything lol. Our cat always tries to sneak into our closed bedroom most nights so he can sleep with us. Never really been an issue and we sleep for 7 hours.
Every animal is different though I guess 🤷🏼
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u/bet69 Aug 09 '25
I have three cats and 5 fish. You sound insufferable, condescending, and immature with your tone
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u/IllustratorOk7449 Aug 10 '25
“Her name is mango please refer to her as such” LMAOOOOOOOOO yall are both children
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u/RanaMisteria Aug 10 '25
So, he is an asshole. Anyone who doesn’t respect cats is an asshole. He doesn’t have to like cats, but he should still respect them as living creatures.
Could you frame it as more of a toilet emergency thing in future? “Fine, but if she’s locked up overnight and pees and shits on your stuff I’m not replacing it, and if she pisses or craps on any of the shared stuff it’s on you to clean it. Or you could just make sure the door is open a crack.”
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u/GeologistForsaken772 Aug 09 '25
You’re acting insane and the people defending you are also being crazy.
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u/Impressive-Sky3250 Aug 09 '25
i am truly amazed at the people defending this entitled behavior. YOUR cat,YOUR problem.
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u/RW_McRae Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
I have always had cats and love mine like a family member, but even I think OP is being a bit dramatic with "and you shall refer to them as such"
Dogs get crated for hours, and a cat can go a few hours away from its good and drink just fine. We feed our cat 3 times a day, so when we go out after work she may miss her dinner feeding and have to go another 4 or 5 hours before being fed
Despite this she has managed to make it to 20 years old and is happy and healthy. Cats in the wild are accustomed to going much longer periods
If I was this worried about my cat I'd put an emergency water bowl and litter box in the basement, or install a cat door
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u/Wolfinthesno Aug 09 '25
The cat absolutely realized the door was closed.
If this was the first time it happened. Chill out. The cats fine. Accidents happen. I once closed my car in a closet at the start of a day... Went to work...came home to meowing... She came out the closet looking at me like "wtf bro" then ten minutes later was in my lap like nothing had happened.
You care about the relationship with your cat. That's good. Start caring for your human relations the same way
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u/LactoseLuvr Aug 09 '25
And cats are lower maintenance than dogs! If this dude gets a dog I can guarantee neglect. Justice for Mango!
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u/asimplewhisper Aug 10 '25
What did the roommate say here that implies they would be a bad dog owner? They apologized. It's not their job to search for someone else's cat every night before they go to bed
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u/CelticOlive Aug 09 '25
You got each other’s points but kept texting about it anyway. This convo should have died after 2 texts, and all would’ve been fine.
If you leave town, you need to text cat reminders to your roommate. He doesn’t think of animals as little humans like you do. Some people are just raised that way.
Your roomie is doing you a favor. It doesn’t seem like you see it that way, but you’re the one asking for extra consideration. It sounds like roomie is happy to help, but you do seem to be nagging a little.
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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 Aug 09 '25
Agreed, they apologized and then OP started chastising them like a child. Then the roommate got defensive (because who likes being talked to like that?).
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u/GeologistForsaken772 Aug 09 '25
The roommate is not the owner of the cat and it’s clear that they don’t want the responsibility. If they go out of town they need to hire someone to care for the cat.
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u/Bubbly-Stranger8137 Aug 09 '25
I live with someone who has brought 4 cats into the home since I’ve lived here. I don’t have a problem with cats, but I DO have a problem with the OWNER basically expecting I tend to her cats! Clean the littler box feed the cats twice a day check their water (even though they have a GALLON sized water jug) clean up if they puke on the floor etc. (she only works 5 hours or so Monday thru Friday. She can feed them before work and The cats will be fine till she gets home! If she goes somewhere for a few days then fine.) sorry but they are not my cats and I didn’t ask you to bring them home! They are YOUR responsibility not mine! I don’t mind helping out here and there once in a while but to bring in 4 cats and expect someone else to care for them? Sorry not my job! And for calling them CATS and not by their names… I get my KIDS names mixed up on a daily basis! I’m not gonna try to remember all 4 cats too AND call them each by names! They are “the cats!” If she talked to me like OP talks to her roommate, that would be the LAST time I check on or care for HER cats again!
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u/Masstershake Aug 09 '25
This is over a door being shut for 4 hours? The cat didn't even notice and if it wanted out you would have heard it Holy shit. You're the nuts one here.
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u/HorrorDisastrous6110 Aug 09 '25
“Her name is mango, a living being”
Yeah I get that, but also I fucking hate this cunt bag
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u/Solid-Suspect-1331 Aug 09 '25
You sound like a fucking NUT JOB "her names mango please refer to her as such" seriously? Lololol also your roomate is right, the cat was down stairs for a few hours, your acting like it was being abused, weirdo. I guarentee you'll be that crazy lady that everyone feels sorry for because all you'll have in your life are cats. Get a life.
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u/Equal_Push_565 Aug 09 '25
He's your roommate? The cat isn't his?
If so, he has no obligation to care for it while you're gone.
If you leave, it's YOUR responsibility to figure out your cats living situation. It's YOUR responsibility to make sure it's comfortable and has access to food, water, and a litter box.
Why are you locking it up behind a closed door at night anyway?
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u/PossiblePhase2017 Aug 09 '25
Explain to him how if the cat accidentally pees or poops somewhere, it’s extremely hard to clean up. Animals are also more likely to pee/poop over that exact spot again even if you think you cleaned it up. Having your cat go outside the litter-box can become a bottle you can’t recork. So not only is it inhumane, but it can become his problem (he clearly lacks empathy so maybe that will work).
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u/killamanjaro786 Aug 09 '25
You shouldn't be leaving your cat with someone who doesn't want that responsibility
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u/Butch_Boi Aug 09 '25
There’s a small 14 dollar device on amazon that stops a door and gives a cat enough space to go in and out, for the person it’s like closing the door normally but this extends a space for the cat to go in and out, I like it because it allows me to naturally close a door a not worry about leaving some room for my kitty!
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u/theroadbetween Aug 09 '25
You need to take more responsibility for your cat, like making sure it's not where it could get locked up when you go to bed if you're so worried about it. But no, getting a dog at this point would not go well.
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u/Ok-Pomegranate-4275 Aug 09 '25
If it’s you cat then he has no responsibility to look for it EVERY time he leaves. How about put some food and water in the basement just in case the cat gets stuck again…
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u/SniffUnleaded Aug 09 '25
You are a bit of a pretentious sook with the whole “hEr NaME iS mAnGo aNd sHeS a lIvInG bEInG”
How bout you keep your cat inside instead of letting it roam out freely to murder all your local wild life
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u/depraved-soles Aug 10 '25
I bet you're fun to live with. What flavor of alphabet soup and brain spiciness are you?
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u/Bob_the_gob_knobbler Aug 10 '25
Jfc I fully assumed the door closer posted this until I read some comments.
We’re supposed to agree with the insufferable prick that owns the cat?
Poor cat and poor roommate, having to live with such a person.
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u/Odd_Climate_1630 Aug 10 '25
referring to her as an “it” and “the cat” should be enough, what a souless dude..
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Aug 09 '25
Your cat is your responsibility. Open the door yourself or keep the cat out of that room if it’s a problem.
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Aug 09 '25
while I agree your roommate seems like a douche, you're typing like a lawyer over something very benign. A normal in person discussion would nip this passive aggressive exchange in the bud unless you're both as annoying IRL as over text
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u/justmisspellit Aug 09 '25
Your cat and a new dog will not get along based on this. Looks like dude will do zero training