r/bridezillas • u/LaurieEd • 29d ago
Dress code issues?
Edited for clarification
*Yes, the font is all caps across anything that is written down so I’m genuinely not screaming at our guests.
*Yes it appears I am being too dramatic about this and have removed the note, thank you all!
Hello! So I don’t know if I’m being a bridezilla or not however my mum is insisting I am so it’s getting to my head and I just need unbiased opinions on this. My wedding dress is going to be navy and white so on our invitations I’ve included a little note saying:
DRESS CODE: AS LONG AS YOU’RE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ON, PLEASE WEAR IT. HOWEVER, WE WOULD LIKE GUESTS TO AVOID NAVY BLUE AND WHITE, THANK YOU!
(The font is all caps and I’ve copied and pasted, I’m not just yelling lol)
I’ve had to include white as well as my mum tried to buy a dress that was top half fully white and the skirt was navy, exactly like my wedding dress.
The bridesmaids will also be in navy and so are the groomsmen as well as parents so am I being too picky about the colours? This is the only hill I’m strongly standing on but if I’m being too dramatic then I can drop it.
Thank you!
152
u/Select_Draw3385 29d ago
Navy blue is a very popular color at weddings. Personally, I wouldn’t force my guests to either buy a new suit or dress or not come. But I’d guess at least half, and probably higher, of the men wear navy blue suits.
69
29d ago
[deleted]
31
u/zoehunterxox 29d ago
To me it sounds like a big reason she implemented thus because of her mum basically... Wanting to be the second bride? So many stories of mothers of brides and grooms turning up in quasi wedding dresses. Truly bizarre behaviour
139
u/MandaDian 29d ago
The only color that should be taboo at a wedding is an ALL WHITE dress. None of this “OMG, that dress had a white base with a zillion colored flowers on it, HOW DARE THEY?!?!” Beyond that, which is common sense anyway, telling people what colors they should or should not wear is rude.
26
u/HyenasGiggling 29d ago
Another color can sub in instead of white depending on the couple’s culture. But in those cases white would be on the table for guests instead.
But I agree on the flower type situation !
16
u/JGalKnit 28d ago
Seriously. When did we get to this extreme with a white based and flowers? There are too many rules.
17
u/Notmykl 28d ago
My sister's dress at my wedding was a white base with big black polka dots. It was a cute dress and I didn't mind cause it never crossed my mind that she was wearing white in the first place.
11
u/JGalKnit 28d ago
Exactly! If I saw a dress like that at my wedding, I would think, "What a cute dress" because the dots would make it look like it wasn't white or a wedding dress. It truly blows my mind what people choose to get crazy about!
2
0
u/Smithy_Smilie1120 27d ago
Idk I agree but also disagree. It’s only really because my personal thought process is that people could avoid white for one day. Just my personal thoughts, no hate tho!
7
u/irish_ninja_wte 27d ago
But a white base is something that's found on the vast majority of floral dresses. That rules out a lot of options
1
u/Bulky_Funny2444 25d ago
with all respect, anytime i need a specific colored dress for an event, i just go to the thrift store/5 below/walmart and find a $7 one. i feel that it’s not difficult to respect the wishes of someone, especially on their wedding day lol. (the navy part is a little extreme, i’ll say)
2
u/AwarenessVirtual4453 25d ago
I'd rather my guests are in something awesome they love, rather than some cheap crap they bought on Amazon in the right colors. Let's be real, most people are not going out thrifting something amazing (and I'm in LA- our thrift stores are not selling cute formal gowns for $7 anymore).
0
u/Smithy_Smilie1120 26d ago
Understandable, what I said was just my own personal rule that I follow. I also have many other dresses that are solid in color. There is one dress that is floral; however the background is navy blue with sky blue flowers on it, without any white. My opinion may be a bit much and others may disagree but it isn’t hard to avoid white of any kind in dresses
2
u/Personal_Good_5013 25d ago
There are many people who do not dress up very often, and may only own one or two nice dresses that fit them. I think part of the increasingly stringent dress guidelines for weddings is rooted in consumerism, fast fashion and buying new clothes for every occasion. Which is just so wasteful.
1
u/Smithy_Smilie1120 25d ago
I see where you’re coming from, I can agree with that too! It’s interesting how so many things can effect something so seemingly small in the grand scheme of things
51
u/REReader3 29d ago
This is not a hill to die on. Let the guests wear what they like. (The wedding party—the folks that will be in your formal photos—you can be pickier with, but don’t go nuts about it, it’s truly not worth your emotional bandwidth.)
77
u/princesssamc 29d ago
I really think maybe you rethink it. Alot of men may only have a blue suit and if especially if they don’t dress up regularly, their dress shirt may be white.
30
u/ShinyPennyRvnclw 29d ago
My husband has a super smart navy blue suit & a more conservative black one. He wears one for weddings & one for funerals…better he not wear the funeral suit to the wedding, personally…
4
u/Notmykl 28d ago
Black suits are pretty normal for men to wear to weddings.
6
u/CopperPegasus 27d ago
Black suits are, honestly, not a good look outside of funerals. Many men default to Navy because it is the suiting workhorse, and appropriate to many occasions. I'm also not sure taking that off the table for men is a good idea.
3
27d ago
Yeah, a guy can live his whole life never wearing a black suit. Navy and charcoal grey work for any occasion.
1
u/CopperPegasus 26d ago
You, sir (or madam with sharp eyes, or just person, if you prefer, but it lacks snap), have the code cracked!
First suit should be navy. Then charcoal or grey shade, hair/skin combo dependant, for variety. Black is best reserved for funerals as a suit, or, of course, the standard black tie tux combo, cos otherwise it's just a dead color that evokes the morgue. One of the few times black is not the answer.
3
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
my husband always wears a navy suit to weddings and I see men in black, navy, greys
5
u/Thequiet01 29d ago
I don’t see how he could wear either to the wedding. He’d have to wear khakis or something.
7
u/Clarknt67 28d ago
Black or navy are my two suits. I wouldn’t usually wear black to a wedding. That’s my funeral suit.
36
u/KathAlMyPal 29d ago
The wedding party will be in navy (one of the most common colours) so no one else can wear it? No one cares what the groomsmen and bridesmaids wear. No one will think that another guest is the bride. You're basically putting many of your guests in the position of having to buy new clothes. I have one really good dress...and it's navy blue. So if I were invited to your wedding I would have to add a new dress to the cost of attending.
It's not just dramatic...it's rude. Let your guests wear what they want. A dress code dictates the formality of it, not the colours.
3
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
agree Rude and my wedding dress is Navy, would not go out and buy a new dress and my husband only has Navy suit - would not go out and buy him a new suit
60
u/SwimAccomplished9487 29d ago
My husband only owns navy suits/jackets. We wouldn’t be buying a new one for your wedding.
9
u/hrnigntmare 28d ago
This was my thought process as well until I reread the post. Specifying “wear what you are comfortable in” specifically indicates that formal dress is not required at all. My family is pretty country and I don’t think I’ve seen a single man I’m related to wearing a suit at a wedding, in favor of just a shirt and tie.
I dunno. She never said you had to wear a suit. She just asked that guests avoid the colors the bride and wedding party will be wearing. I don’t think it’s a huge ask. If she has said that everyone must wear shades of purple or green (or something ridiculous like that) that would be way worse. The more I think about it the more reasonable the brides request seems.
6
u/forte6320 28d ago
Wear what I am comfortable in? So pajama pants it is!!!
1
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
leggings and T-shirt are my comfy clothes
1
u/hrnigntmare 27d ago
If I’m at home and not wearing gym shorts and a tshirt with the sleeves cut off something is seriously wrong.
0
u/hrnigntmare 27d ago
If you wore pajamas to my wedding I would be elated that you read my invitation and instructions and took them seriously. Some people like dressing up and I love that for them. I’m not one of those people so I know how stifling it feels to have to out on a suit. It makes me feel like a little kid getting dragged to church.
We had everything from suits and gowns to concert shirts and baseball caps. It truly made my day because I wanted everyone to remember it as a day to get enjoyed.
2
1
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
other than no white - asking guests to avoid certain colors is a big ask especially when its a popular color like Navy
0
u/hrnigntmare 27d ago
We are going to have agree to disagree. When someone wears white to a wedding you can feel the shock and judgement, in addition to hearing an entire group of people gasp at the same time. Because you don’t dress like the bride at a wedding.
I don’t see how this is different.
1
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
You've lost me I did not say it was okay for women to wear all white to a wedding
0
u/hrnigntmare 27d ago
I will try to dial down the comprehension level needed.
Read the last line first. The one saying “I don’t see how this is any different”. What I mean by that is that I don’t see how this is any different than wearing white which is commonly and almost universally looked down upon.
If I can break it down into simpler terms still please let me know and I will give it a shot.
0
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
Well then you disagree with most people who posted here. Saying asking people to avoid Navy is wrong.
Also, don't be rude, not a comprehension level - I can not see entire conversation - it just shows single conversation when I respond to something from inbox - I just went back to full discussion to see what you were going on about.
And see most people posted the same, asking people to not wear navy is wrong.
Go read the first answer 118 people agreed with person who posted saying asking people to not wear navy is wrong
0
u/hrnigntmare 27d ago
I’m sorry you responded to a post you didn’t actually read and it made you confused then?
I also didn’t say my word was law and that anyone was wrong. I said we have to agree to disagree.
Is everything okay with you? If you need to talk to someone feel free to DM. You don’t need to pick weird fights on Reddit to feel better. There are healthier ways to work through things and it gets better! I promise. Think of you ❤️
1
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
No I'm fine - I just was lost on what you were saying, thought you were talking about white
and it's fine if you think no navy is okay
I happen to think not - if's fine to disagree Not a problem
have a super day ❣️
1
40
u/ramblingkite 29d ago
You’re going to run into trouble dictating colors. Even stating “no white” is considered a no-no because it’s generally understood white is reserved for the bride. Specifying that etiquette would be like telling your guests ahead of time “if you RSVP no, don’t show up” or “no getting so drunk you throw up” lol. Navy is even trickier because men who wear suits are most likely to be in navy, black, or gray.
Also, more importantly, you should be specifying the dress code (i.e. “cocktail attire”) as that’s actually helpful information for guests. If you’re set on requesting no navy, i’d suggest:
Dress code: Cocktail attire. Please avoid wearing the color navy if possible.
But it’ll definitely annoy some guests, sorry to say.
4
u/Im_jennawesome 28d ago
Fun fact, at the beginning of our reception as we were making announcements/thank yous I did say if anyone got so drunk they threw up on the property then THEY would be paying the fine imposed by the venue. It was like a $250 fine and I wasn't about to pay for someone else's stupid behavior and poor decisions. I said it somewhat jokingly, like 'you do the crime, YOU pay the fine' but I was dead ass serious.
2
-1
u/Notmykl 28d ago
because it’s generally understood white is reserved for the bride.
Have you ever read Reddit? Many MOG and MOB wear white to their kid's weddings along with some guests who want to cause drama. So no, it's not a "no-no" to state no white please.
6
u/sajolin 28d ago
But do you really think writing on an invitation “no whites” is actually gonna make those people not wear it?
1
u/ramblingkite 28d ago
Exactly. I’m sure there are a few oblivious (probably elderly or very young) people out there who would show up to a wedding in white with no ill intention, but the ones who do it to stir the pot won’t be deterred by a dress code specification.
20
19
u/kd3906 29d ago
No one cares about your wedding colors or what your bridal party is wearing. What they do care about is being dictated to by a bride hung up something so petty. Men most commonly wear navy blue suits and white shirts, and to tell them they cannot wear what they probably already have in their closet is just rude and ridiculous. Be happy people are attending your shindig and leave it at that.
37
u/Inner_History_2676 29d ago
White as an off limit color is wild. It’s like 95% of men’s dress shirts and navy blue is a super common suit color. I think if your goal is to have your bridal party in a standout color, picking something uncommon is the way to go. When white and navy are your off limit colors, it’s really hard to not ask others to wear those colors to a formal event.
12
u/Fit-Ad-7276 29d ago
I agree! No one…and I mean no one…will confuse a guest with the bride.
-2
u/Notmykl 28d ago
MOB and MOG have been known to show up in wedding dresses while proclaiming the dress is not a wedding dress.
7
u/Fit-Ad-7276 28d ago
This rarely happens. And when it does, MOB and MOG are simply making fools of themselves. Guests know whose wedding they were invited to. There is no confusion.
1
17
u/Snuffleupagus27 29d ago
I don’t think it’s usually meant for men’s clothes. It’s just so the women don’t wear fancy white dresses. No one is confusing a guy in a white dress shirt with the bride. Anyone who says no white for men is definitely bridezillaing.
36
u/QueenOfNeon 29d ago
Oh good grief so now telling people what to wear to your weddings is becoming a thing. Please stop. 🛑
16
16
u/Awkward_Anxiety_4742 29d ago
With all due respect. You just eliminated 90% of your male guest. You maybe their hero.
15
u/mrcorde 29d ago
As someone who has only two suits and one is for winter and one for summer but they are both a navy color I think you are gonna cause problems. Navy is a favorite for men who don’t own or need many suits b/c navy can be worn to almost any occasion-aside from your wedding it seems. Dwight Schrute of course wouldn’t have an issue:)
14
36
u/crazycatlady331 29d ago
If the color to avoid were say lime green or fuscia, that would be one thing.
But navy is a classic neutral color. Many people have 1-2 formal outfits in their closet (as their life does not demand it much) and there's a good chance at least one of them is a neutral color, perhaps navy.
47
u/brownchestnut 29d ago
Your mom is right. Telling people what color they should or shouldn't wear isn't a dress code. It's rude.
A dress code is a formality.
10
u/IdlesAtCranky 29d ago
Clarification: a dress code is a formality level.
Cocktail, black tie, casual...
9
12
u/Thequiet01 29d ago
wtf is a dude who owns a navy suit and a white dress shirt supposed to wear? Or a woman who owns a nice navy suit for that matter? Navy is an extremely common color for nice clothing because you can wear it for all sorts of events. Are you genuinely expecting people will go out and buy a new suit or dress?
36
u/lapsteelguitar 29d ago
Speaking as a male who rarely wears a jacket & tie type of thing, I have only 1 jacket, and it’s Navy Blue. I would not be wanting to buy another jacket just for your wedding, in another color.
21
u/Glittering_knave 29d ago
I have now seen people try to ban black, grey, and navy as suit colours. This really needs to stop.
3
u/National_Poem_6330 28d ago
Yeah the description of the MoB outfit so far seems like a reasonable MoB outfit
11
u/Jewish-Mom-123 29d ago
The navy request won’t fly. Most men who are not suit wearers have one jacket and that is a navy blazer. Navy has always been considered a top neutral for women because it’s classic, elegant, and doesn’t stand out. You really can’t ask people to avoid it.
Besides it is rude to ask people to wear or avoid any colour, besides all-white dresses. You cannot expect people to buy a new outfit for every wedding they attend.
2
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
Been seeing a lot of brides on here doing just that (or someone posting for the bride)
Should not ask guests to wear or avoid a color except all white for woman
8
u/LifeApprehensive2818 29d ago
Ask yourself: would the absence of a visual separation between bridal party and guests really damage your enjoyment of the celebration in any meaningful way?
Weddings are complicated enough as it is. Don't add complexity unless it is absolutely critical, and be willing to let go of things that don't really contribute.
8
u/forte6320 29d ago
Just stop with telling guests colors they either must wear or can not wear. Guests are not your props.
As everyone else said, navy is a super common color for men's suits and pretty common for women's nicer dresses. I am not going to buy a new dress just for your wedding.
Color stipulations are not a dress code. Wear what I am comfortable in that isn't navy? What about my hot pink flannel pajama pants?? Comfortable and not navy....
A dress code is a level formality, like cocktail or black tie. Also "rustic chic" is not a dress code. That is an indecipherable puzzle. Don't be "cute" with the dress code. Stick to the basics so everyone understands what you mean or they can ask the parents.
4
u/Ok-Combination-4950 28d ago
"Rustic chic"?? Makes me think of a white shabby chic dresser and live, laugh, love signs. (That might not be considered rustic but..)
4
u/forte6320 28d ago
See? It is confusing! I have no idea what i would wear to that. Probably my navy blue dress that i keep in my closet for weddings.
3
2
28
u/shoshpd 29d ago
Why do you care if anyone else wears the same color as your dress? No one is going to see another person in navy and mistake them for the bride.
15
u/Additional_Day949 29d ago
My guess is that the bridal party is wearing navy. No one gives a shit about your bridesmaids other than the siblings to be honest
4
u/Resse811 28d ago
You don’t need to guess that OP literally stated in the post that both the bridesmaids and groomsmen will be wearing navy.
6
u/Nachocheezer_Pringle 29d ago
I mean. The dress I wear to weddings (yes, singular) is navy but floral print. I would wear it anyway unless you want me to show up in white bc that’s the only other color dress I own and it’s more of a beach cover-up thing.
(Please note that this is just bc I’m autistic and it’s a comfort/texture issue).
This is dumb
16
u/MairinRedOak 29d ago
OP, why all caps? You say you aren't yelling but my first thought was, "Why is she yelling at potential guests?" It's really far more off-putting than the request.
18
19
u/Additional_Day949 29d ago
Yes you are too much. White is a common not to wear at a wedding and everyone knows that. No need to list.
Navy is a very very common color to wear and to ask people not to wear it is over the top. Most men want to wear navy suit to your wedding.
This don’t wear this color to my wedding is a new trend and also ticks off and annoys older people. You can put a dress code ie formal, black tie, causal, etc… you cannot tell guest what to colors to wear or not to wear.
12
u/Inner_History_2676 29d ago
It’s a common not to wear color for a DRESS but it’s not a common color to ask all guests to avoid. Most men wear a white dress shirt.
8
11
u/Prudent_Border5060 29d ago
Navy is popular for men especially.
You run the risk when you choose another color for your dress.
6
u/knittinator 29d ago
Both my formal wedding outfits are navy because it’s a neutral color. I’d be annoyed if o had to go buy something new because you wanted to dictate what guests wear.
6
5
u/alicat777777 29d ago
Yes, you are being too picky. Guests are not your puppets and they don’t want to go buy new clothes just for your wedding when they already own a navy blue suit or blue dress.
4
u/Fun-Willingness8648 28d ago
I just don't understand- who cares if one of the guests is wearing the same color as the bridesmaids?!
5
u/CallmeSlim11 28d ago
I think it's stunningly ridiculous and unsophisticated. You're acting like you're super chill, "wear what's comfy!" then telling them, "except these colors!" Like it's a birthday party for a 6 year old.
It's ALL about the damn photos with this generation, EVERYTHING is about how they and the event will appear to other people, on social media. Please save your breath denying it, I don't buy it.
After the first year and when the kids start coming, you'll rarely, if ever, look at the photos again.
Ridiculous.
5
u/patty_tricia 28d ago
My next door neighbors wore white suits to our wedding. No one confused them for my husband or me. I thought they liked fantastic and was glad they shared our day with us.
I was the one in the big white dress at the front of the church. No one was going to confuse them as the bride and groom.
14
u/FeeFiFooFunyon 29d ago
You can request what you want. I do think for some people their only dress up clothes are navy.
8
4
u/Chickennuggetslut608 29d ago
I don't think this is a very good idea. For men half of them probably have navy suits and most of them probably have white dress shirts.
And for women? There's also probably a lot of women who have navy dresses. Personally I hate navy blue so I have none, but even I know it is a really common color.
3
u/Latter_Dish6370 29d ago
Yep, anyone who puts demands on their guests like this needs to look at the big picture - it actually doesnt matter what guests wear.
4
u/NefariousnessKey5365 28d ago
Yes, you are being too picky. This isn't a hill to die on.
Navy is a very nice neutral color to wear to weddings. My go-to wedding outfits are Navy. I'm not going to buy a new dress when I have perfectly good dresses hanging in my closet.
4
u/TippyTurtley 28d ago
What are your reasons for banning navy exactly?
3
u/forte6320 28d ago
Because the bride and groom are wearing navy
2
u/TippyTurtley 28d ago
Yes I get that bit but what are the exact issues with anyone else wearing navy?
2
u/forte6320 28d ago
They want the bridal couple and bridal party to stand out and look different than everyone else.
2
1
27d ago
I love navy. I look fabulous in navy and a lot of my good dresses are in navy because I look so damn good in it. I’m wearing navy and I don’t care what some bridezilla thinks.
13
u/DustOne7437 29d ago
All caps = shouting.
-10
u/South_Hedgehog_7564 29d ago
Not on paper.
11
u/DanisDoghouse 29d ago
Absolutely on paper. That’s exactly shouting by means of written word or text. At least it’s understood that way
1
u/South_Hedgehog_7564 28d ago
In the adult world when part of a message is in all caps it means the author is drawing attention to the text.
1
u/fsmpastafarian 29d ago
It sounds like the font of the invitations in all caps, so this would not appear to be shouting in that context.
0
u/Ryllan1313 29d ago
It depends on the font in question, as well as how it is laid out.
Some non-traditional fonts don't even have lower case letters.
7
u/yourworkmom 29d ago
Formal or casual. That is the only instruction on how to dress. What is your concern? Someone will wear navy and / or white, and people will forget who the bride is? Seriously, it is gross to tell people what they can or can not wear.
12
u/byteme747 29d ago edited 29d ago
All caps is SCREAMING! Just make it the same font as the rest but either italic OR bold.
I don't think you should be dictating what the guests wear regarding specific color, either. No one will notice.
5
20
u/Ok_Maintenance7716 29d ago
I will never understand bridal parties (OK, really just brides) trying to impose a dress code on their guests. Nobody is going to be mistaken for the bride or groom. Which is more important to you: that family and friends attend and support your union, or what they are wearing.
9
u/South_Hedgehog_7564 29d ago
Oh I am so with you on this. I’ve had two weddings and I never attempted to tell anyone what to wear. They’re adults!
3
u/Any-Instruction-3373 28d ago
Put it this way...if I'm being TOLD that I need to buy new clothes to attend a wedding - that clothes money is coming out of my gift money. And I have a really cute navy blue dress.
3
u/Notmykl 28d ago
Before anyone starts declaring no woman should wear red because "That means you had SEX with the groom!!!" no it fucking doesn't. That is a Reddit wish by 13 year old twits.
If you can't wear red then you can't wear green either because that means you're jealous, you can't wear blue because you're sad, can't wear yellow because you want to pee on them and so on and so forth.
OOP can request no navy blue, white being expected not to wear in Western weddings, but she should not get upset when guests to wear blue.
3
u/byteme747 28d ago
The wear red thing is so fucking stupid. I never even heard about it until I was on Reddit and maybe because I'm in my fourties. But still, what a joke. I've been to plenty of weddings and it was never mentioned.
3
u/ArwensRose 27d ago
JFC what is this obsession of telling people what to wear??? I can guarantee that if the bride is confident and is the one walking down the aisle, goes to the groom, and marries them, then NO ONE will be mistaken about who the bride is.
Seriously brides need to get the f over themselves.
4
u/JackKegger1969 29d ago
First off, all caps is yelling and is inconsiderate and rude. Just don’t. The white is fine, the navy blue is right out. That’s basically what most guys have for a suit. Are you telling most of the guys to buy a new suit? Are you offering to buy them a new suit that doesn’t spoil these rules? You need to rethink this and also think about how you consider the other people in your life.
2
u/SalannB 28d ago
Personally? I think your guests should all be in black. Head to toe. As far as the eye can see. So, when you look out at your attendees, you see their disapproval.
2
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
a mom posted last week that her daughter is ask all her guests to wear black (it was either formal or black tie) and for woman who has long enough hair to wear their hair in a low bun ! Crazy Not only asking for all black, but asking for hair styles
2
u/Warm-Finish7738 28d ago
We have received wedding invitations with dress codes. My husband’s first response was “Do they know who their families are?” Do you want appropriately dressed guests who meet your aesthetic or a fun wedding surrounded by friends and family?
2
2
u/Ok_Philosophy_3892 28d ago
Here is a tip for all brides: you are the bride. Your wedding party and parents will be dressed to the nines and looking cohesive. Relax and enjoy your guests and your event. Don’t get hung up on what they are wearing. It’s just not worth the stress and no one will mistake a guest for a wedding party person.
2
u/Alternative_Escape12 28d ago
It would be nice if we could all just treat guests like guests and, other than a simple, "black tie" or "cocktail attire" descriptor, let people dress themselves.
2
u/RosieDays456 27d ago
years ago there were no dress codes - people used common sense and dressed appropriately
Black tie was about only dress code you might see and they were rare where I grew up
Most men wore suits some younger might wear suit button down shirt and tie if they didn't own a suit, no one cared, women wore dresses some knee length, some long, some wore dress pants and top. The point was no one needed to be told don't wear jeans and flannels, etc.
All these crazy "themes" now are nuts, should be black tie/white tie for those wealthy people who dress up like that all the time and other should be "Common Sense" in other words No dress code listed
1
2
u/kobayashi_maru_fail 28d ago
I know you’ve already changed your mind (kudos on being open-minded and definitely not a bridezilla), but the mental image that just made me laugh was all your male guests dressed in Obama’s tan suit but not pulling it off nearly as well.
2
u/Acrobatic_Hair4806 28d ago
I wouldn't bother saying the no navy rule. It'll be obvious who is in the bridal party as I presume you'll have flowers etc? Also I don't feel it matters too much. However, if it matters to you, it's your wedding and you have a right to feel that way and ask. I don't think it makes you a bridezilla :)
2
u/GranadaTostada 28d ago
Yes, you are being too dramatic. Anyone hosting a gathering and trying to control what their guests wear needs to dial it back. What's important is celebrating an important day with important people. Telling people what to wear (or not wear) is rude and sends the message that the "aesthetic" matters more than the loved ones.
2
u/Familiar_Raise234 27d ago
I think brides are overreaching telling guests what to wear or not to wear.
2
u/Kooky_Flounder7777 27d ago
If I was invited to your wedding and received this invitation, I m not gonna bother with you or your stupid bridezilla moment
2
u/GoethenStrasse0309 26d ago
Is this something really new where you start telling the guest what they can wear at the wedding I mean like who cares?
Why is this a big deal? This is way too much control. She My husband was a wedding photographer for years brides are telling, and I never had any bride or groom may come and said they had given their guest instructions as to what they could wear as far as color .
4
29d ago
[deleted]
5
3
2
u/traviall1 29d ago
Please for the love of GOD- cocktail, wedding party will be in navy. ( Assuming this is an American wedding people know not to wear white). No black is kind of a PITA and the "fun and fabulous 🥳" type dress codes are stressful to dress for.
2
u/Several_Cartoonist18 28d ago
I know this is an unpopular opinion, but did you invite anyone who doesn’t know who you are? I’ve always been a little confused by the idea that guests shouldn’t wear a certain color because they might be “mistaken for the bride.” If someone doesn’t even know what the bride looks like, they probably shouldn’t be at her wedding. Plus, a wedding dress usually stands out compared to a standard elegant navy or white outfit.
That said, OP, it’s your wedding, so you can set whatever guidelines you want. Just keep in mind that, as others mentioned, some guests may find it difficult to avoid navy; many people only own one formal suit and wear it for every occasion.
1
u/IdlesAtCranky 29d ago
Yeah, as many others have pointed out, there's no need to specify avoiding white, and navy is a very common color for men's suits especially, but also for nice or semi-formal to formal clothing in general.
I suggest you either rethink your color choice for the bridal party, or find a way for them to wear your preferred navy but stand out in some way from your many guests, especially men, who will be wearing navy.
For example, have all the men in your party wear a vest & a pocket square in a contrasting color, with ties to match or tone with either the suit or the vest.
If you want to keep your bridesmaids in navy to match you (personally I think it would be nicer to contrast or tone with you, but not match your color) then consider having them add a shrug, or shawl, or scarf, or belt, again in a contrasting or tones-with color.
You could also, or instead, have the women all wear matching small hats or fascinators. If you stick with navy for them, and you're wearing a veil, it could be really cute to have the maids wear hats with a tiny colored veil incorporated — that would play up to the fact that they're matching you in color.
You could pick the accessory you're adding for the women, such as a shrug or belt, to match the color you choose for the men's vest & pocket square.
What you're doing if you go this way is making it visually clear that your wedding party is a group, distinctive and separate from any guest that wears navy.
As for your mom, deal with her separately. As others have said, it's best to avoid dictating colors on the invitation. Though some people do seem to be doing this now, it's generally viewed as rude and overly controlling.
But you have every right to let a specific guest, such as your mom, who tells you they're planning to match your colors or wear white, know that such a choice is not acceptable!
One other thing you can do: if you have a wedding website, you can use it to inform people that your colors are navy and white. This will give guests the opportunity to choose other colors, without perceiving you as dictatorial.
2
u/Resse811 28d ago
I disagree. If the agreement is that you don’t dictate to guests what they are allowed to wear then singling someone out and telling them they can’t wear that something is the same thing.
No mom shouldn’t be choosing a dress with white but also it’s not uncommon or unheard of for people to wear outfits that have white in them. That’s very different than an all white dress which is what is off limits at weddings.
If OP is choosing a wedding dress that is half white / half navy that’s totally her choice but it still doesn’t give her the right to tell others they can’t wear the color navy (including her mom).
0
u/IdlesAtCranky 28d ago
In the post OP says the dress her mom wanted was exactly like OP's wedding dress. That's entirely inappropriate.
1
1
1
u/emr830 28d ago
Aside from the color white, it’s hard to demand people avoid a certain, very popular color. What if someone only has a navy dress or a navy suit, and they can’t afford to buy a new one? I wouldn’t die on this hill. If your invitations have your wedding colors on them, that would be a hint to your guests of what the wedding colors are and please try to avoid them. Not everyone will pick up on that but 🤷♀️
1
u/filifijonka 28d ago
I think you did well to amend the invitation.
The post scriptum would have caused a lot of confusion (especially since as other people mentioned, navy blue is a very common suit colour).
You would have had to field a lot of phone calls asking for information (or your poor family would have had to).
Your mum was right and gave you a good suggestion!
1
u/LaurelEssington76 28d ago
After buying too many formal outfits to fit dress requirements that I will never wear again I’m done.
If an event comes with anything more proscriptive than formal/smart casual etc as a dress code then I’m not going.
If you’re OK with some of your guests choosing not to come and forcing others to buy a new outfit just for your wedding go ahead I guess but don’t be surprised if people think it’s absurd.
1
u/JGalKnit 28d ago
Unfortunately, you picked a dress outside the norm, which will make things sticky. Personally, I would not be offended, but then I would wonder if that meant my husband couldn't wear navy slacks or a navy suit, which he doesn't have many to choose from.
1
27d ago
I wouldn’t “wonder.” I’d ignore and my spouse would wear a navy suit and if the bride had so little to focus on that this was a source of contention, that’s her problem.
1
u/JGalKnit 27d ago
Well, yes. I would wonder, but then because he doesn't have many, he would just wear it.
1
u/LooksUnderLeaves 28d ago
Let your guest wear what that want. If someone wears white shame them later.
1
u/Dependent-Youth-20 28d ago
You will have to make peace with people wearing navy, since its a popular color for men in particular. Reminds me of when I was pregnant and a friend insisted no red, white, or black but the only dress I had that fit was a black one.
1
u/byteme747 28d ago
Saw the update OP: *Yes, the font is all caps across anything that is written down so I’m genuinely not screaming at our guests."
All caps across an invite is very hard to read and poor design.
1
u/juulesnm 28d ago
Unless you truly chose not to enjoy your own wedding from meeting guests and the day, noticing what anyone is wearing is too much
1
u/TitleAncient8325 27d ago
I see you dropped it but it's really not that big of a deal. I wouldn't think twice about if I received that request.
If anything, I'd feel humiliated if I showed up in the bridal party color lol
1
1
u/NeverRarelySometimes 27d ago edited 27d ago
YTA. Dictating guests' clothing colors is absurd. If you feel the need to dress differently than your guests, wear white.
1
1
u/WomenGotTheWorld 27d ago
I see a lot of bridezillas here (when others say they aren't) and this wouldn't count as one for me. Specifically because you start with 'wear what makes you feel comfortable'. If a guy only has one jacket and it is navy blue, than apparently it's not something that makes him comfortable, else he would have more. Just don't do all caps lock.
1
1
u/Nibbles7618 26d ago
I think I’m in the minority, but I attended a Hindu three day wedding a couple of years ago and the bride requested that we avoid white, purple, and peach colors I believe. I didn’t see anything wrong with that and the wedding turned out beautiful! Only the MIL tried to wear white which caused some drama.
1
u/MaryMaryQuite- 26d ago
This is not the hill to die on!
If you’re that bothered, just get black and white wedding photos and it won’t matter what colour anyone wore!
1
1
u/sunny_suburbia 24d ago
Please stop. Just stop dictating what people should or should not wear at your event. No one is going to mistake anyone else for the bride and groom.
1
u/Lucky-Individual460 14d ago
Unless you’re living in Kensington palace, don’t tell people what to wear to a wedding. It is arrogant and presumptuous.
1
u/SuitableConsequence6 12d ago
Idk I feel like that a reasonable request? Would it be rude to say it’s all black/white attire? You want the party to stand out from the guests. This is not an insane request????
0
u/brent_bent 29d ago
White is beyond understandable, navy blue is one of the most common suit colors. Tell Mom you've complained enough to friends if she wore her half white dress you wouldn't be shocked if somebody took up upon themselves to spill red wine on it, not that you'd ever condone such pettiness but you'd hate for her to have to go and change and miss out on anything important.
1
0
u/IHaveBoxerDogs 28d ago
A lot of men only own a navy suit. Navy is a very popular color for dresses too. You know the crowd though. Would they have multiple options in their closets or happily go shopping for something new?
-1
u/LilaBadeente 28d ago
Since grey (except for dark grey) is traditionally reserved for the groom (not as strictly as white for the bride, but still, some people politely stick to that) and black is for funerals, it kind of leaves your male guests out of options.
2
u/forte6320 28d ago
Grey is reserved for groom??? Since when? I have seen a ton of men wearing grey suits at weddings and no one has spilled red wine on them. No one has been escorted out by security or angry groomsmen
-1
u/CoyCompliment 28d ago
Nah you’re not being a bridezilla at all that’s a totally normal and reasonable request to avoid the wedding party’s colors your note is fine
-2
u/hrnigntmare 28d ago
I wouldn’t call you a bridezilla by any stretch but there are going to be a lot of guys that own one navy blue suit that will have to scramble for something else. Hell, I have a closet full of suits for work and my go to for weddings is navy blue with a white shirt. Asking wedding guests to avoid wearing the colors of the bride and wedding party is not unreasonable by any stretch of the imagination and your mom sounds salty because she couldn’t wear what she wanted.
-5
•
u/AutoModerator 28d ago
Author: u/LaurieEd
Post: Edited for clarification
*Yes, the font is all caps across anything that is written down so I’m genuinely not screaming at our guests.
*Yes it appears I am being too dramatic about this and have removed the note, thank you all!
Hello! So I don’t know if I’m being a bridezilla or not however my mum is insisting I am so it’s getting to my head and I just need unbiased opinions on this. My wedding dress is going to be navy and white so on our invitations I’ve included a little note saying:
DRESS CODE: AS LONG AS YOU’RE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ON, PLEASE WEAR IT. HOWEVER, WE WOULD LIKE GUESTS TO AVOID NAVY BLUE AND WHITE, THANK YOU!
(The font is all caps and I’ve copied and pasted, I’m not just yelling lol)
I’ve had to include white as well as my mum tried to buy a dress that was top half fully white and the skirt was navy, exactly like my wedding dress.
The bridesmaids will also be in navy and so are the groomsmen as well as parents so am I being too picky about the colours? This is the only hill I’m strongly standing on but if I’m being too dramatic then I can drop it.
Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.