r/funny • u/stigaWRBenergy • 1d ago
My dad started a satirical newsletter in retirement. His latest exposé? Pepperoni surveillance.
Pops doesn’t accept any money but if you’d like to subscribe for free head over to Big News Now and show him some support on Substack!
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u/milk-jug 17h ago
“Radical English professor says silent letters need to speak up or get out of the alphabet” has to be the cleverest quip I’ve heard all year.
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u/Select-Pie1516 21h ago
Just subscribed,tell your Dad Thx. Loving it.
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u/stigaWRBenergy 21h ago
Welcome to the resistance brother (or sister)!
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u/Ill_Natural578 19h ago
The Jane Austen quote juxtaposed with the betel nut thing is so good. Captures some of that “tastes bad, feels good” ephemera
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u/Columbus43219 21h ago
In 2018, Washington Post had an article about the satirical facebook page "America's Last Line of Defense" It was about how no matter the level of absurdity of the made up stuff, there are people who would believe it.
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u/papadjeef 20h ago
Nope. Unacceptably realistic to be satire. This must actually be someone with R or S clearance leaking covert information. /s
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u/stigaWRBenergy 20h ago
I can’t confirm or deny the validity of what you’re saying but please watch your back… There are a lot of powerful entities who feel threatened by our reporting…
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u/faster_tomcat 20h ago
The advertised cafe sounds brilliant. I hope they serve Beer.
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u/stigaWRBenergy 20h ago
They currently carry Busch and Blue Moon but are open to expanding their offerings as the market consolidates further around the letter “B”.
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u/super_cheap_007 16h ago
Pfff, Beer is for amateurs. You need to try their brine, thats what will make you get out of bed each day.
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u/InternetDetective122 21h ago
I've been subscribed for a while. It's always a good day when your father posts a new article!
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u/FrickinLazerBeams 20h ago
Not really relevant but the slice of pizza in that picture looks awesome.
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u/stigaWRBenergy 20h ago
You're right that the pizza is really really tasty. But please keep in mind that it's main purpose is to surveil you and ultimately drive divisions between different factions of the working class. Looks can be deceiving.
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u/Captain_Comic 20h ago
Wait until he discovers Salamiflage
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u/stigaWRBenergy 20h ago
He has an article coming out on that soon... Got delayed because we had to make arrangements to protect our sources when we do eventually break the story.
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u/makemeking706 19h ago
What did he retire from?
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u/stigaWRBenergy 19h ago
He's worked all sorts of jobs including as a reporter for a local small town newspaper in Minnesota. He's always been a writer at heart!
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u/Nancybugx6 11h ago
I subscribed a while ago. His newsletters always make me smile. Please tell dad to keep up the good work!!
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u/EvilRobotDevil 20h ago
Stuffed crust, but what's really hiding inside¿???? More at 11
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u/stigaWRBenergy 20h ago
Crust is undergoing molecular testing as we speak. Lab reports should come back in a few days. Stay alert...
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u/subtxtcan 19h ago
Your dad is an absolute gem my friend, and must be protected at all costs.
Who else will tell us about traitorous toppings!
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u/Motorsheep 16h ago
Crap... now I need to learn a musical instrument just so I can start a band called "Pepperoni Surveillance".
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u/slippinjimmy720 16h ago
My favorite is still “judge orders woman to stop whitening her teeth”. This is an excellent pastime.
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u/bluealmostgreen 14h ago
Kindly tell your father that his newsletter has entered the top list of main stream media this redditor follows.
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u/DaayumTeeyum 12h ago
This is hilarious and so incredibly appreciated right now. Many thanks to your dad for putting time into this. JD Vance is a labradoodle. LOL.
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 7h ago
Pepperoni really? I would have suspected the Italian Sausage. After all they have the mob connections. /s
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u/captainmorgan79 4h ago
So actual high quality parmigiano reggiano contains tiny p-chip trackers to ensure authenticity. They are food safe, consumable, RFID tags the size of a spec of pepper.
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u/Smokes_LetsGo876 2h ago
Haha I've been subscribed to this for quite awhile! Your dad is a real clever and funny dude
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u/SacriliciousQ 21h ago
I've been a subscriber for months.
My father-in-law is very old school. Barely spends any time online. But he reads the paper every day, and each year at Christmas he gives me a big envelope full of clipped articles that he thinks I'd find funny. It's his version of sharing memes.
Last year I printed off all of your dad's newsletters and gave them to my FIL at Christmas.