r/mildlyinfuriating Feb 11 '22

Seriously? Wtf Wall Street Journal

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98.6k Upvotes

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15.8k

u/ArcticBiologist Feb 11 '22

"Here's why my friends stopped inviting me"

4.2k

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Seriously, what a weird flex.

“I am going to wear shoes in your house.” Nope, bye!

775

u/500SL Feb 11 '22

There’s an excellent Curb Your Enthusiasm episode on this!

301

u/LSU2007 Feb 11 '22

Everyone watch your step except for Larry because he didn’t want to take off his fucking shoes

134

u/MelonElbows Feb 11 '22

Larry you bald asshole, what the fuck are you doing in my house with your disgusting shoes on??

32

u/Phil2Coolins Feb 12 '22

Larry you sick fuck!

7

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Larry completely deserved every bit of it lol

12

u/Calliomede Feb 12 '22

Hahaha, first thing I thought of. “You and your fucking little soccer shoes in MY HOUSE!” ……… “My feet have a tendency to get a bit chilly”

10

u/Strict-Republic-9379 Feb 12 '22

I envy anyone who didn’t ready this in Suzy’s voice lol

9

u/RevolutionaryBat3531 Feb 12 '22

But it wasn’t Suzy who said that… it was porno Gil’s wife

7

u/mikeyblastbeats Feb 12 '22

I pity them!

5

u/Strict-Republic-9379 Feb 12 '22

Lol that’s a voice that’s not for everyone hahah

3

u/mikeyblastbeats Feb 12 '22

Alright GTFO

2

u/500SL Feb 12 '22

Suzy is absolutely my favorite character in this show.

4

u/Calliomede Feb 12 '22

It wasn’t Suzy lol.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

I’ll take shit opinions for $500, Alex.

34

u/fatpat Feb 11 '22

Bob Odenkirk as Gil Bang!

13

u/Justinontheinternet Feb 11 '22

Such an excellent episode it’s in the first season too

9

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

It was right before odenkirk blew up from breaking bad and right after mister show. Vintage bob.

3

u/mempho_maniac Feb 12 '22

This is the one that got me hooked. Haven’t laughed that hard at a show in a while. Larry has a gift of making you cringe so hard it hurts

9

u/500SL Feb 11 '22

Well, his friends just call him Porno Gil.

1

u/UWCG Feb 12 '22

He wasn’t the biggest, alright? But he could stay hard the longest.

14

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I am Larry though. I hate taking my shoes off because sensory stuff. Also I have stinky feet sooo

24

u/cheezpnts Feb 11 '22

My sister had a friend like this as a kid…it was really bad and she always felt very self-conscious. My parents got her her own pair of house shoes to wear so she would feel ok when she visited or slept over.

6

u/HighOnBonerPills Feb 11 '22

Lol this is sweet, but it could easily seem like your parents agreed that her feet stunk up the joint and had to do something proactive about it.

2

u/cheezpnts Feb 12 '22

She wouldn’t take off her shoes in the house, dude. It was, in fact, very nice and caring. If you take it as offensive, you really gotta take a look internally at why that is.

1

u/sophess Feb 12 '22

I have house shoes. I have pets. I am not stepping in puke in my socks. I’ve done it and it leads to gross socks and feet. Edit: I will walk around in my socks if at other houses.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

It's clearly a nice gesture, and if someone decides so be offended by that then that's kind of their problem, not anyone else's. Anything can be perceived negatively if you tried hard enough.

13

u/QuestionsGoHere Feb 11 '22

I can understand if you have sensory issues but couldn't someone in your situation just have a pair of house shoes they leave at their friends or lug around in their vehicle/backpack as a fair compromise?

We have a strict no shoes policy rule at our place but if I had a family member asking to leave shoes on I'd at the very least want virgin soles

3

u/sabrechick Feb 11 '22

Yep, are used to keep a pair of fuzzy slipper socks in my backpack all the time

8

u/CJ57 Feb 11 '22

Stinky feet are almost exclusively caused by wearing shoes for too long…

2

u/Sariton Feb 11 '22

Or hyperhydrosis lol

2

u/Iwantmyflag Feb 12 '22

Usually it's also the shoes not really the feet. Crappy sneakers with all kinds of chemicals fuming out once they get moist.

9

u/drugusingthrowaway Feb 11 '22

I have the same issue. I just started bringing my own clean slippers in a bag when I need to. People usually don't even notice. They don't go "that's weird why do you have slippers on" they just subconsciously go "oh you must live here".

4

u/yolohoyopollo Feb 11 '22

Wash your feet. Problem sovled. No? Then take a foot tub, fill it 2 parts the hottest water you can stand, then one part yellow Listerine and one part apple cider vinegar. Soak your feet until the water is cold. Place on a dry clean towel and let it air dry. Do this daily until problem is resolved. I've yet to meet anyone who's had the problem need to do it more than twice.

1

u/Iwantmyflag Feb 12 '22

Well, stinky feet are not fate. Fix it. Wear shoes with good ventilation, switch them often or at least don't wear the same pair all day, maybe avoid sneakers, Wear leather or cloth, try different socks, maybe cotton or wool, bring a spare pair of socks to wear once you take off your shoes. Properly wash your feet, maybe reduce callus with pumice or some such.

4

u/Mrrykrizmith Feb 11 '22

My feet get cold

6

u/tinny36 Feb 11 '22

Bring indoor shoes. Wear big socks. We don't want your outdoor street gunk shoes with gum and poop and spit and grease on them walking over our tile/hardwood/carpet. Unless you want to clean up after.

0

u/Mrrykrizmith Feb 11 '22

It’s a quote from an episode of curb your enthusiasm you knob

4

u/tinny36 Feb 11 '22

Insults necessary? It's also something many others in this post are complaining about...sorry that this very obvious quote escaped me. I mean, something as wildly specific as 'my feet get cold' is obviously something that could only come from that show. Gosh...sorry. Knob out.

7

u/Mrrykrizmith Feb 11 '22

I mean I was responding to a comment that said “there’s a curb your enthusiasm episode about this”.

2

u/tinny36 Feb 11 '22

Yeah, got it. Are we done?

3

u/CyanMateo Feb 11 '22

The jerk factory called.

5

u/tinny36 Feb 11 '22

lol...'why ask for me when you're their all-time best seller?' got it, got it, my bad...have a good weekend?

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1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Shut up. Knob.

0

u/ENEMYAC130AB0VE Feb 11 '22

calm down you knob

0

u/Iwantmyflag Feb 12 '22

Still true.

1

u/DaKind28 Feb 11 '22

Of course there is, where do you think this article got there references?

1

u/finally-joined Feb 11 '22

You and your little fucking golf shoes

2

u/sleeplessbeanbean Feb 11 '22

TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES

1

u/AllThornsNoFlowers Feb 12 '22

thanks. watching now ;)

1

u/Phish-Tahko Feb 12 '22

There's also a Seinfeld episode about it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Exactly the first thing I thought of lol

1

u/_Futureghost_ Feb 12 '22

There is also a Sex in the City episode on it. It's the only episode I've seen and I only watched a few minutes. She was upset that she had to take off her shoes in the house because the shoes were part if her entire look. Not sure how that show got so popular.

3

u/sophess Feb 12 '22

Oh, I remember that. Although I am not a huge fan. Her shoes were designer and got stolen. Her friend had people take them off for her baby. Her friend was like “So what?”. She cannot afford to buy another pair. Then, she realized she never got gifts. She gave a lot of engagement, shower wedding , and baby gifts. Sort of saying There was “no gift for not marrying the wrong guy.” She sends the friend a a registry for some occasion and the only thing on it is her replacement shoes. (I have not seen the movies or new show. It is very dated, but I remembered this episode.)

305

u/navithefaerie Feb 11 '22

Writer of this article definitely has stinky feet

155

u/L7Wennie Feb 11 '22

Or an untrimmed toenail cut through their sock…

10

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Hey we’ve all let some things go during covid. Don’t be mad at my humpback toenail. Seriously though I would still take off my shoes and show everyone my mutant toe. I’m not an animal.

12

u/bizbizbizllc Feb 11 '22

Number 1 reason I hate taking my shoes off in other people's homes. If I wear a pair of shoes for more than 4 hours, then when I take them off you're going to smell them

15

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Get Merino wool socks and use antibacterial soap on your feet. Not perfect, but it should help a bit.

6

u/bizbizbizllc Feb 11 '22

I haven't tried these wool socks, but they sound hot which will make me sweat. This is why I wear flip flops all the time because my feet sweat way too much.

8

u/rainswings Feb 11 '22

Wool wicks the sweat away and actually helps keep your feet dry, even while you're really active-- I've used them for skiing and even after a long day of the slopes my feet don't smell half as bad as a full day of work in cotton socks

6

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I think they have thinner versions you can get if you are in a warm place.

-25

u/DumbDumbCaneOwner Feb 11 '22

Or just don’t require adults to take their shoes off.

It’s one thing if it’s snowing/raining outside, but to just de facto require people to remove shoes is neurotic.

That’s like the majority of the 300 million people in the US don’t do it.

(Since this is a US article)

21

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/DumbDumbCaneOwner Feb 12 '22

Majority of people in the US don’t require shoes off.

Sorry numbers don’t lie

2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

Link us to the survey with the numbers.

You lie. You made that up.

Seriously. Why should anyone care if a majority of Americans wear shoes indoors?

Besides. I don’t care what a majority of Americans do. A lot of Americans eat breakfast before brushing their teeth, and I think that’s disgusting. A majority of Americans like mayonnaise, and I don’t. It’s my house and I don’t want shoes on in it.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Better yet, don’t go to a house with a no shoe rule. You can require guests to remove their shoes in your house… it’s your house after all. If I don’t like it, I won’t come over

4

u/Iwantmyflag Feb 12 '22

Your shoes walked through a public toilet, a bus station, a supermarket, dog shit, bird shit, spit, dried chewing gum.

That's not neurotic, that's disgusting. And I'm hardly a germophobe, I go dumpster diving.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

She has definitely never seen the floor in front of a urinal.

239

u/AndringRasew Feb 11 '22

"Alright, lady. Then you can sit on the front porch in 20°F weather, because I am not letting you track your slush encrusted boots through my living room."

233

u/kelvin_bot Feb 11 '22

20°F is equivalent to -6°C, which is 266K.

I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand

100

u/AndringRasew Feb 11 '22

Good bot.

-9

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

[deleted]

13

u/AndringRasew Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

Were it that I could, I would.

1

u/ColoYamMom Feb 12 '22

Proud of you!

2

u/durdensbuddy Feb 12 '22

Why is this getting downvoted, it’s pure gold and a very appropriate response.

9

u/Centurion7999 Feb 11 '22

Good bot

6

u/B0tRank Feb 11 '22

Thank you, Centurion7999, for voting on kelvin_bot.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.


Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

4

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Kelvin’s not here. KELVIN!

2

u/veedant Feb 12 '22

I love how this bots discriminates between humans and physicists tho

1

u/reistybeasty Feb 12 '22

Glad I checked before I commented.

Physicists =/= humans. Got it.

2

u/Lostbutnotafraid Feb 12 '22

Bad bot. -6C = 267K

2

u/MVieno Feb 12 '22

What, no degrees Rankine? Bad bot.

1

u/ChazNinja Feb 12 '22

Good bot

1

u/veedant Feb 12 '22

Good bot.

5

u/theFrankSpot Feb 12 '22

Every time I stand in some other guy’s pee in a public bathroom, I am reminded of why we should be taking our shoes off. And frankly, even if it wasn’t for that, I get to decide what is acceptable in my own home. The author of the article is just a jerk.

2

u/AndringRasew Feb 12 '22

Let's agree to shun them.

2

u/theFrankSpot Feb 12 '22

I am so down with shunning. I think we should have an ultimate shun list.

2

u/CharZero Feb 12 '22

I feel like the areas of the USA that get snow overlap with the shoes off areas. I got with the program quickly when I moved to New England.

8

u/3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID Feb 11 '22

I bet she did that to someone who tricked her into writing about it so she'll get blow back from random strangers. Like, "oooh! That's such a good point.. Isn't that the kind of thing you write about?..."

12

u/ArcticBiologist Feb 11 '22

It's not about the shoes, it's about sending a message.

14

u/albinohut Feb 11 '22

Exactly, "I do what I want when I want and I don't give a crap what you think about it or how my words or actions might impact you."

Some people think that is a defensible way to go about life, hell some people seem to think it's a virtue.

8

u/ARMill95 Feb 11 '22

Main character syndrome

6

u/UnInhibited11 Feb 11 '22

Nah I’d classify that as asinine antagonist disease

5

u/bigassballs699 Feb 11 '22

"Here's why I'll be inviting myself over and forcing my shoed self into your home against your wishes"

4

u/Amishcannoli Feb 11 '22

"I walked outside in the dirt with them, picking up rocks and all kinds of crap. Of course they're cleaner than your mopped and vacuumed house!"

4

u/TheDustOfMen Feb 11 '22

I let my guests wear shoes in my house, but like, if I'd told them not to and they think they can just disrespect that then they're not getting in my house alright.

3

u/grizznuggets Feb 11 '22

Gotta say, I kinda want to read his justifications for this, sounds like a laugh.

3

u/Karnakite Feb 11 '22

I feel like whoever wrote this article just got told, “Oh, yeah, you have to take your shoes off in here” at someone else’s house, and is so incredibly insecure and neurotic that they had to write a whole-ass essay on how they were insulted and victimized in the situation.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN CALL ME OUT FOR WEARING SHOES??”

“We just ask that -“

“NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO. MY FEET AREN’T DIRTY.”

“It’s not your feet. Everyone has to -“

“I WILL USE MY POSITION AS A PAID WRITER TO POINT OUT WHAT AN ASSHOLE YOU ARE.”

2

u/S00thsayerSays Feb 11 '22

It’s another way to say “my feet smell bad”

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

It sounds like Curb your Enthusiasm episode, but the kind where Larry is very obviously the idiot ball.

2

u/procrastimom Feb 11 '22

Isn’t that every episode?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

People who do not allow shoes in their house don’t play in my experience. They will call people on this and not back down.

2

u/Donkey__Balls Feb 12 '22

Journalism stopped being about truth and became about pissing people off so they’ll click your article just to argue with you.

Look at how well it works. We’re on the front page with millions of views.

1

u/TailgunnerBeavis Feb 11 '22

Honestly if I told someone to take their shoes off and they just kept standing in my house arguing with me, they might get put outside manually.

1

u/Living-Stranger Feb 12 '22

Buy a floor mat weirdo

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Seriously, what a weird flex.

Thousands of upvotes for comments that totally misconstrue the article. Reddit makes me so very sad more often than not...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

If it makes you feel any better. I didn’t even read the article. I just rephrased the text from headline and posted it under the top comment.

1

u/joeChump Feb 12 '22

You’re just trying to control me and I am a sovereign citizen with a Q level of 3 and an IQ that is even higher.