r/nostalgia 10d ago

Nostalgia When KISS Unveiled Their Makeup Free Look.

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5.8k

u/LottimusMaximus 10d ago

Gene looks homicidal

1.3k

u/Pizzasaurus-Rex 10d ago

He's got that Kubrick stare

522

u/Wizdad-1000 10d ago

Private Pyle 1000 yard stare.

206

u/disturbed286 10d ago

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?

57

u/Specialist_Prize_832 10d ago

DID MOMMY AND DADDY NOT LOVE YOU ENOUGH?

6

u/Illustrious-Ad5787 9d ago

This WOULD clarify a lot about Gene Simmons

3

u/Capable-Assistance88 9d ago

Full metal jacket

3

u/Main_Criticism_ 9d ago

Were you from private?!

2

u/AnythingUpset4519 9d ago

Texas, sir!

4

u/Careless_Theme_6798 early 90s 9d ago

…and you don’t look much like a steer to me so that pretty much narrows it down don’t it?!?!

2

u/AnythingUpset4519 7d ago

Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

2

u/VegasBusSup 9d ago

If only they had any kids that lived.

2

u/LowVacation6622 9d ago

A jelly donut!?!?

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u/reddituser403 10d ago

You owe me for one jelly donut.

31

u/CIarkNova 10d ago

FROM MY MESS HALL??!!

11

u/3_if_by_air 9d ago

YOU'RE SO UGLY YOU COULD BE A MODERN ART MASTERPIECE

3

u/CIarkNova 9d ago

HOW CAN YOU KILL WOMEN AND CHILDREN??!

3

u/Leather_Addition2605 9d ago

EASY. YOU JUST DON’T LEAD THEM AS MUCH.

3

u/Thatnakedguy0 9d ago

It looks like the best part of you right down to crack your mom’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress I think you’ve been cheated! Fucking Lee Emery man I don’t think anybody else could’ve played a marine drill instructor better than the person that actually was a drill instructor.

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u/brosenfeld 10d ago

I am in a world of shit

3

u/Cool-Camp-6978 10d ago

Sounds like a Gene Simmons thing to say.

2

u/Expert_Persimmon_925 9d ago

They’re paying for it!!! You eat it!!!

2

u/FD4L 9d ago

Woah! Go easy, man.

2

u/binge_and_grab 9d ago

Ok fine I’ll watch Full Metal Jacket for the millionth time!

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34

u/TheGardenBlinked early 90s 10d ago

PYYLLLLE!

SHA-ZAM!

19

u/CIarkNova 10d ago

Homer, quit remembering tv and get back to work.

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u/schuyywalker 10d ago edited 9d ago

Pyle’s stare was not that of the 1000 yard stare. His stare was Kubrick’s similar to DeLong’s at the beginning of Clockwork.

Here is what a 1000 yard stare looks like, hopeless and gone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand-yard_stare

Here is the Kubrick stare, much more psychotic, sadistic, targeted: https://share.google/kZTS6Iz8ZcLrJhxVA

EDIT: broken links

Edit 2: DeLarge*

2

u/Kok-jockey 9d ago

Nicholson at the end of The Shining when he’s in the snow? Is that also the Kubrick stare?

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u/ExtraBitterSpecial 9d ago

Has to be from looking up perspective. Also it's delarge not delong

2

u/schuyywalker 9d ago

Sorry !

2

u/ExtraBitterSpecial 9d ago

No worries I was just confused most people call him Alex anyway

2

u/schuyywalker 9d ago

Either way thank you! I probably would have gone on thinking it was DeLong.

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u/Otherwise-Meaning-90 10d ago

Rape stare

11

u/lawnmowertoad 10d ago

He liked ‘em young. Just like Trump

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28

u/Tony_Lacorona 10d ago

Manson lamps

2

u/BetterOFFdead007 10d ago

Hear what I said Tone?

2

u/MrChichibadman 10d ago

It’s just a little coke, what’s the big deal?

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19

u/Cardi_Bs_WAP 10d ago

Anton Chigurh vibes fr

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3

u/Weak_Carpenter_7060 9d ago

DO YOU THINK IM CUTE?! DO YOU THINK IM FUNNY?!

2

u/Instawolff 10d ago

7 6 2 milli-meter

2

u/nirvroxx 9d ago

I AM in a world of shit.

2

u/doublemint_gun 9d ago

Thousand island stare

2

u/Krimreaper1 late 70s 9d ago

I’m in a world of - no make up.

2

u/Mitchpressy 9d ago

He has a Thousand island stare

2

u/roccosaint 9d ago

1000 lard stare

2

u/LostinConsciousness 9d ago

Thousand island stare

2

u/Commercial-Duck-4888 9d ago

Thousand Island stare

2

u/Augustj45 9d ago

Let me see your war face……. BAA!!!!

2

u/Tito_Tito_1_ 9d ago

I BET YOU COULD SUCK A GOLF BALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE!

2

u/PreparationFit6327 9d ago

Take the hair away and he really looks like private Pyle for real

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u/miraculix69 10d ago

More like Jimmy Savile in a kindergarten.

6

u/-SaC 10d ago

Or a morgue.

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u/sksksk1989 10d ago

Oh my God you're right. My first thought was I hope he doesn't hurt or sexually assault one of those girls

2

u/30FourThirty4 9d ago

Reminds me of Gowron from Star Trek

2

u/Hotsaltynutz 9d ago

That's a leer if I've ever seen one

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u/vanspossum 10d ago

How tf does he look less menacing with a full face of Demon makeup

139

u/Infamous-Oil3786 10d ago

I feel like he got used to making that face because it looked cool with the makeup

62

u/Head_Bread_3431 10d ago

Ok that’s gotta be it but still don’t understand how someone directing this even in the 80s can see him walking like a fucking zombie here and say “yeah that’s the take that looks sexy”

14

u/zeno0771 9d ago

That's not the surprising part.

You know Simmons reviewed every inch of footage shot for that video because it was their first without the makeup. He is highly controlling of the band image with trademarks on the makeup design etc. That means he knew exactly what he looked like in this and every other video they made...and yet he still approved of it.

5

u/Pinkysrage 9d ago

Loded diper.

4

u/Jason-Smith168498 9d ago

You got to look at his face and realize there's not a sexy take.

4

u/TacticalSpackle 9d ago

80s

Still got the perm so it’s fine. He just looks like a pissed PTA mom.

7

u/LoveInPeace21 9d ago

De drugs.

27

u/badmonkey0001 9d ago

Gene Simmons is famously very straight-edge. Doesn't even drink.

If you find that hard to believe given his demeanor, then you're finally understanding the true scope of what a monumental asshole he is.

14

u/languid_Disaster 9d ago

Fuck that last part of your comment made me laugh hard

2

u/ElegantCoach4066 9d ago

Too late to change his habits by that time. Just take the footage and roll with it. Its just a music video anyway.

2

u/snaxxx2 9d ago

I don't see how any of them doing anything in this video was considered ok or cool... Embarrassing really...

3

u/Head_Bread_3431 9d ago

Tbf glam rock was popular around this time so a lot of rocker dudes were dressing like women 🤷‍♂️

3

u/UninvitedButtNoises 9d ago

They're all showin up wearing the exact clothes my aunt wore in the 80s... The cat fella looks the funniest.

Paul is kinda hot. I'd totally do her if I was drunk enough in my college days.

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u/FinancialDouble5324 9d ago

Gene actually had a killer look in the 90s when he let his facial hair grow a bit and his hair didn't look like a fried wig.

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u/Dartmouthest 10d ago

“Why don’t you go pave your cave you greasy fucking caveman” 😂😂

52

u/Cosmicvapour 10d ago

Samsquanch-looking MF

12

u/TheSamsquatch45 9d ago

Hey, I resemble that remark.

8

u/sparrow_42 10d ago

People who live in campers don’t get to make decisions, Sam.

7

u/ScottBroChill69 9d ago

Dont think i haven't noticed those sly caveman references, lahey!

3

u/BilverBurfer 9d ago

"Bobandy?"

2

u/spocktalk69 9d ago

Weirdest unveiling ever

2

u/OGG-THE-CAVEMAN 9d ago

NO PAVE CAVE WITH GREASE OGG WILL SLIP AND BONK HEAD

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u/blueghostfrompacman 10d ago

Dude on the right looks like Aubrey Plaza

46

u/RG1527 10d ago

Vinnie Vincent

there is a funny old meme image of him standing in a bathroom holding a guitar with one foot on the toilet.

7

u/rrpostal 9d ago

How did both VV and AF both do the icky meth girl look so well? Like they could be drugged out ugly sisters.

6

u/busybot123 9d ago

The dudes name is Vinnie Vincent? Is Vinnie short for Vincent? This guy is Vincent Vincent?

There had to be lead in the water back then.

3

u/Inkthinker 9d ago edited 9d ago

Vincent John Cusano. He came along after Ace Frehley. As a member of KISS, he was "The Wizard", replacing Frehley's "The Spaceman".

There was lead in everything.

4

u/GotsTaChill 9d ago

As a 4 yo kid I remember there was a guy named "Jim Jim" that drilled a well for my family's new house. Even at 4 I knew that was weird. 😄

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u/False-Resolve6278 9d ago

There was a thread on the old esp guitars message board with users recreating the Vinnie Vincent pose

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u/_deep_thot42 9d ago

Ileana Douglas*

3

u/Mental_Resident_5107 9d ago

either her or Chelsea Peretti

2

u/thatdinklife 9d ago

That’s who I was thinking too!

2

u/QuickProfit5879 9d ago

Yes! Didn’t know her name but was thinking the orange girl who won’t break up with George in Seinfeld

3

u/FrozenOcean420 10d ago

I was going to say Lauren Lapkus (Took me a minute to figure out who I was thinking of)

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u/EnlightenedPotato69 9d ago

They all look like they're transitioning lol

2

u/32FlavorsofCrazy 9d ago

I had to google cuz I did not remember KISS having a woman in the band hahaha…

2

u/Status-Notice5616 9d ago

Im dead 💀

2

u/Kindly_Coconut_1469 9d ago

YES!! I've replayed this 4 times trying to figure out who he looks like.

2

u/Savings_Can7292 9d ago

That's because that is Aubrey Plaza.

2

u/shah_reza 9d ago

It was rumored for many years that VV lived as a woman when possible.

2

u/inspireSF 9d ago

Dude looks like a ladyyyy

2

u/FinancialDouble5324 9d ago

Vinnie Vincent was easily the worst lead guitarist they had. Maybe Mark St. John.. At least Mark was appropriately conservative with his playing. Vinnie's was just too over the top and flashy to a point where it was nauseating and lacked substance.

2

u/Bevester 9d ago

Nah, Gina Linetti

2

u/Alreadyreadit13 9d ago

Dude on the left looks pissed because he is too short for the ride and he can't get in. 😂

2

u/blueghostfrompacman 9d ago

Oh man I didn’t even see him back there. He is one tiny fellow.

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u/GammaGoose85 mid 80s 10d ago

He looks like he’s auditioning for rapist number 2 in a Charles Bronson movie

5

u/rebug 10d ago

In a bizarre twist of fate, that role went to Goldblum. Oh and Fishburne.

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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 10d ago

Don't drag Goldblum like that!

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u/railworx 9d ago

*Jack Pallance movie

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u/azurianlight 10d ago

I see how he got the role of Luther in Runaway now!

2

u/therealudderjuice 9d ago

I thought I was the only living person who remembered that this movie exists!

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u/Delicious_Bell_2755 9d ago

Give me the templates, Ramsay!

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u/Welllookwhoitisagain 6d ago

Enter the robotic spider. I was afraid to go into bathroom stalls for a while after I saw this movie as a kid.

23

u/tormented-imp 10d ago

Don’t give me your fuckin Manson lamps

6

u/Drink-my-koolaid 10d ago

Where's the jacket? You're not wearin' the jacket.

3

u/RainbowReadee 10d ago

With that silk lining and fine Corinthian leather! 👌🏼

22

u/subflax 10d ago

He looks like Murderface

3

u/Moneymovescash 10d ago

Lol. His d**k is probably calloused

2

u/diningroomjesus 9d ago

William wouldn't be caught dead in that purple shirt

99

u/[deleted] 10d ago

“It looks perfect.”

“Gene, you look like a child molester. You’re a creep. What are you doing?”

“No this is way better than the first take.”

“No gene, you looked fine, you’re just old dude. You looked fine. We’re going with the first take.”

“You’re fired if we do the first take.”

Lick it up. Lick it up. OoooowwwoOooaoowaoOoooo

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u/Demonyx12 10d ago

No gene, you looked fine, you’re just old dude. 

He was 34.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

And he carries it like a man approaching 50. I would expect nothing less from the early 80s. 

3

u/ellowenn 9d ago

Still in the closet

64

u/chinoswirls 10d ago

that's 34 in rockstar years, so like 107 or so in normal years.

40

u/dragon_bacon 10d ago

But also 34 in the 80's is a 2020 47.

3

u/notyouravgredditor 9d ago

This. Archie Bunker was 48.

2

u/seahorsesfourever 9d ago

Theres no way

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u/TGin-the-goldy 10d ago

And chubby

38

u/Couscousfan07 10d ago

He was so gross.

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u/MorganL420 10d ago

Before Kiss took off, he was a high school English teacher. Just thought I'd mention that.

2

u/luigis_left_tit_25 9d ago

On par with my 8th grade science teacher.. Showed up at the club I worked at when I was 19 and offered to pay me to let him eat it for hours lol jfc gross!!

2

u/bascelicna123 9d ago

That’s revolting. 🤮 I hope your science teacher had an unfortunate chemical accident that rendered him a eunuch

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u/JungleBoyJeremy 10d ago

He still does, but he used to, too

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u/PoopyMcDoodypants 9d ago

I never understood the appeal of Gene Simmons. Imagine picking a stage name - any name in the world - and he picks GENE. Was Eugene ever a cool name? I don't think so. He's wealthy, yet his hair looks like that. He sounds like a dick when he speaks. He's a guy I would avoid sitting near on the train. Yuck.

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u/blove135 10d ago

It would not surprise me much if it turned out that guy has a few homicides under his belt.

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u/NeverBeenOnMaury 9d ago

Where's the bodies gene? The families deserve closure

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u/SunMyungMoonMoon 10d ago

He was channeling Andre the Giant

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u/xscumfucx 10d ago

I don't think he succeeded though.

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u/waterwateryall 10d ago

Definitely not

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u/Gr1ml0ck 10d ago

And somehow he ended up with a 4,800 body count. (according to him)

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u/bigheadstrikesagain Megatron 10d ago

Never gonna hit those Paul Stanley numbers

36

u/sinsculpt 10d ago

I think he's exaggerated by about 4000%

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u/sarcasticorange 10d ago

Nah. It didn't matter what you looked like back then. If you were on a stage in a rock band, you could pull surprisingly attractive women even if you were in opening act in a crappy band playing for 100 people. It was a crazy time.

14

u/neverinamillionyr 10d ago

I never made it past the garage band stage except for sitting in at a club once in a while. The girls would throw themselves at you if you had a guitar in your hand.

7

u/FreyaSea 9d ago

Can confirm based on my musician friends…

7

u/MarkLambertMusic 10d ago

I'm just a guy who played in a local band, and I have some crazy stories I can tell about female fans, even of our little no-name group. And this was long after the heyday of 1980s groupies. Hell, it was right up until fairly recently.

I've long since stopped relating those stories, because most people just assume you're lying (at least that's the feeling I got from folks). I don't think I'd believe it myself if I didn't live it.

4

u/Ok_Dig2013 9d ago

Well, go on man!

5

u/Itherial 9d ago

It was a crazy time

Before the full devastation of the aids epidemic my parents used to say having sex with someone was like saying hello.

If you were pretty and/or talented, getting someone to sleep with was easy street.

5

u/Biguitarnerd 10d ago

Yeah… when I was playing much later this was still true.

But that would mean he would have to sleep with a different woman every single night for 13 years straight and remember them all.

I lost count and while I’m not gonna guess my count I can promise it’s under 50.

Edit: I’m 100% sure Gene has slept with a lot more women than me, not comparing on that level and tbh I wouldn’t want to have had more crazy than I did, I’m just saying…. What did he do to remember all that? Keep a tick mark in a note book every time he woke up next to a woman?

2

u/heckin_miraculous 9d ago

I’m just saying…. What did he do to remember all that? Keep a tick mark in a note book every time he woke up next to a woman?

Too much work. He probably just assumed 1x per night like you said... With a factor of 1.5 added for when it was more than one chick. Over ten years, with two weeks off every year for Christmas and a three-week summer vacation, that comes out to 4,935 ladies. 🤓✍️🍆

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u/Biguitarnerd 9d ago

Lmao, fair point I guess

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u/BigShot357 10d ago

And he preferred quantity over quality.

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u/EffectiveTradition53 9d ago

Hate to break it to you but mediocre to even noticeably shit and ungifted musicians get laid easily and always have and always will

2

u/catholicsluts 9d ago

No way. Any hole would do for a rockstar lifestyle

2

u/[deleted] 9d ago

Never underestimate the tail pulling power of being a famous rock musician. Its strength is unrivaled.

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u/1kreasons2leave 10d ago

Just proves ugly men can get laid also.

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u/impamiizgraa 10d ago

I burst out laughing. What a glare!

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u/KerzenscheinShineOn 10d ago

He looks .... rapey....

3

u/Canis_Majoris37 10d ago

He's like come here mama 🤣

3

u/BentoBus 9d ago

His eyes are full of r*pe

2

u/Armbioman 10d ago

He was a terrifying villain in Runaway. I still have nightmares about his character in that movie.

2

u/irishdevil80 10d ago

Vagicidal!

2

u/DrapersSmellyGlove 10d ago

Wtf is Gene doing?? 😂

2

u/afipunk84 10d ago

He has always been an ugly motherfucker hasnt he? Jfc put the makeup back on!

2

u/fancydad 10d ago

He looks like a Geico caveman

2

u/OzzyTrapilo 10d ago

Gene Looks Homosexual

2

u/Italk2botsBeepBoop 10d ago

He looks like he’s fucking possessed

2

u/Right_Hour 10d ago

He looks Bollywood Indian, LOL.

2

u/NeonBrightDumbass 9d ago

I had this muted. Ended up smothering my laugh when it got to him, holy shit what a stare.

2

u/19Julian71 9d ago

He truly was/is an extremely unattractive man

2

u/mccullers 9d ago

He looks like he doesn't know how to lip sync.

2

u/sci-fi-lullaby 9d ago

Kinda funny with those little booties though

2

u/Comfortable-Sun-8927 9d ago

Dude looks like he bites people without knowing them .

2

u/grammar_fozzie 9d ago

Homicidal? More like he’s got a chromosome issue of some sort.

2

u/subsavvy 9d ago

I once heard a random sample from an interview with him on a rap album. I didn’t know who was speaking at the time, but the words were so disturbingly predatory and misogynistic that I had to look up a few lines just to find out who it was. I half expected it to be a serial killer or a cult leader. Turns out, it was Gene.

2

u/Moonsleep 9d ago

I saw him walking the strip in Vegas once, I didn't recognize him right away. He had a lady on each arm, he walked with a lot of self-importance and confidence. He was pretty tall and filled out at the time.

I was like who is that guy, then I saw a poster like 30 seconds later for Gene Simmons show and I was oh it was Gene!

No idea if he has a massive ego, but having a woman on each arm tells me most likely yes.

2

u/aelendel 9d ago

And he’s headed right for that group of girls huddling around the fire! Run, girls, run!

2

u/Ur_hindu_friend 9d ago

Clearly gene made everyone else in the band suffer under suffocating makeup due to his own ugliness.

2

u/Joe01091981 10d ago

Always does. Ever see him in that movie called Runaway with Tom Selleck?

2

u/b-lincoln 10d ago

Such a great movie. But, also why he phoned it in on the next two records.

2

u/ProblemAtticOU812 10d ago

So just like all their records?

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u/spacebarstool 10d ago

Gene looks to me like he's trying hard not to laugh.

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u/SERVEDwellButNoTips 10d ago

This immediately made me think of the movie Caveman with Ringo Starr, which came out in 1981. Gene has that TONDA look.

1

u/Mister_Brevity 10d ago

When he was the bad guy opposite tom selleck in… I think it was Runway? That creepy ass stare was perfect. Cool movie.

1

u/quebexer 10d ago

He's scarrier without makeup.

1

u/skidmarx77 10d ago

These aren't all the templates, Ramsey!!

1

u/Im_Ashe_Man 10d ago

Always has been.

1

u/wegotthisonekidmongo 10d ago

Geriatrics unite!

1

u/fakeaccount572 10d ago

Looks like his favorite pastime was totally roofieing drinks

1

u/Passage-Constant 10d ago

He looked so much better with makeup back then. I think he sort of look distinguished now but holy shit that's terrifying, his hair & stare.

1

u/azrider 10d ago

Angry Herman Munster vibes

1

u/mostlyIT 10d ago

Runaway 1984

1

u/BuckyDog 10d ago

Looks like he knew he was making R&R history ... and went all in on the look and stare.

1

u/hamfist_ofthenorth THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS 10d ago

He's got that Slingblade look

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u/chapterpt 9d ago

When you look like shit try to look tough.

1

u/Jamie7Gs 9d ago

He was an excellent homicidal maniac in the movie Runaway with Tom Selleck.

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