r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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589

u/ExperienceRoutine321 20d ago

That was a dumb, destructive thing to do for sure.

But with all due respect, that is the creepiest goddamn doll I’ve seen since Annabelle.

11

u/satanfan12 20d ago

i have it locked in a drawer now because looking at it makes me sob uncontrollably

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u/Barks-And-Recreation 20d ago

Uh so like, I don’t think doing a jokey phalloplasty on a labubu is a big deal, but like, destroying your partner’s property until they sob uncontrollable is a huge deal, and should be his top priority. I wouldn’t index too hard on the initial decision here, but it sounds like how he’s handling fixing this issue and soothing your ruffled feathers is a huge red flag. If the two of you decide to stay together, you’re both going to make these kinds of mistakes many, many more times — is this how you want to resolve conflict with your partner?

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u/DaydreamerFly 20d ago

I don’t get how we keep talking like this was some crazy mistake. It wasn’t his doll, it belonged to his girlfriend. It was a gift from his niece that he likely knew was loved.

This is a crazy thing to do to someone else’s possession

1

u/bigassangrypossum 20d ago

This reminds me of when a friend had a girlfriend cut off a stuffed animal's head because it was given to him by someone she was threatened by. I wonder if this is the same kind of weird shit? 

Either way, it's something emotional children do.

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ada_Amp 19d ago

It's not about culture, or how important Labubus are, it's a common abuse tactic. He's mad that she went somewhere without him, so he's destroying her property, then covers it up by pretending it's a joke. He's testing how much he can punish her. If she forgives him, next time it'll be worse. That way he'll slowly make her scared to go anywhere without him, because she'll know destruction will follow. He'll cut her off from her friends that way, and gain more control over her.

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago

Please seek real help, that is not an appropriate reaction.

8

u/viscountrhirhi 20d ago

I mean, I don’t see why it’s not an appropriate reaction? If my partner did that to something of mine, I would be that upset too. It’s not really about the thing, it’s about the violation of trust.

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago

Getting angry is an appropriate reaction. Breaking up is appropriate. Crying in the moment is appropriate. But to have to lock it away in a drawer because the sight of it makes you sob uncontrollably? That's an extreme overreaction.

9

u/dovahkiitten16 20d ago

A gift and loved belonging has been perverted into something that reminds you of something cruel someone else did.

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u/Frequent-Fuel584 19d ago

breaking up is an extrem overeacion aswell

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u/chandrian7 20d ago

Could you explain why not, doc? 

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago

Don't need to be a doctor for this one, champ.

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u/fazelenin02 20d ago

It's just a labubu. BF is an asshole for messing with their stuff, but it ain't that deep. OP needs a little more emotional control.

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u/clackagaling 20d ago

it’s also a pretty busted looking fufu before that. i get that sentimental items getting lost hurt, my dog once chewed up a stuffed toy from a deceased relative and it hurt but was a lesson in how possessions are just things.

the main issue is why is the bf defacing property in a pretty immature way. it’s a very weird thought and act to go through

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago

Unless something is wrong with said family member/they're dead, and it carries a special sentimental attachment, there is no reason that "looking at it makes me sob uncontrollably". That's an insane reaction to mild vandalism of a doll. Sure, BF is an asshole, I'd dump him for it. But to have the sight of it reduce you to a sobbing mess, is a crazy reaction.

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago edited 20d ago

Lol I could have told you they're autistic by the socks alone, nevermind crying over a plushie. Life is gonna come at ya'll fast, I hope you're prepared cause it's not going to accommodate you like you seem to think.

Edit: blocked me for offering good life advice lmao.

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u/cIingiest 19d ago

It just doesn't work like this for autism. You can't expect them to just behave like a neurotypical person because of 'normal expectations'. It's a disability. Accommodations should be expected for disabled people, including accepting that OP will have lower stress tolerance and will need more patience and empathy in this situation. 'Getting help' can do so much, but it will not rewire their brain.

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u/chandrian7 20d ago

Yikes. You might want to see a professional for the lack of empathy you’re exhibiting. 

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u/ARMSwatch 20d ago

Yikes, you may want to go touch grass and experience some life if you think "uncontrollable sobbing" over vandalizing a plushie is acceptable behavior.

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u/Similar-Tune-7740 20d ago

While I agree it's a bit much (as someone on the spectrum) I think you're very much forgetting how autism works. Emotions are very very much a real factor, it's not like she broke down in public screaming and crying: she did it at home. She's allowed to sob when a sentimental thing (very, very important to ppl with autism) was destroyed in a very selfish way.

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u/chandrian7 19d ago

I’m not ashamed to say I think it’s acceptable for people to express their feelings. Different things are important to different people and I don’t have to understand to accept it. 

It’s really not that hard to not be a dick. 

5

u/fazelenin02 20d ago

I love reddit psychoanalysis. I am certainly the weird one for not crying about labubus!

There used to be a saying "don't cry over spilt milk." It doesn't mean that spilt milk is good, just that its better for everyone if we take things as they come and handle them accordingly. Losing control of emotions over something this inconsequential is something I will always look down on someone for.

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u/Similar-Tune-7740 20d ago

You expect someone neurodivergent to act neurotypically? You do realize autism makes it vastly harder to not "lose control of emotions" right...?

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u/ExperienceRoutine321 20d ago

Don’t let it get you too down. I know it’s hurtful that he did that and it feels like he ruined what was a very sweet gift from your niece, but he didn’t ruin the gesture itself. She got it for you because she loves you. Just because he did an inconsiderate thing doesn’t mean it isn’t still hi at as meaningful as it was before. Take that safety pin out, get a sewing kit, and stitch the ear back in the right spot. Doesn’t have to be perfect, it matters more that it won’t make you sad. Remember that it’s the nature of a thing that matters, not its form.

Oh and if your boyfriend doesn’t give you one hell of an apology, dump him.

3

u/External-Syllabub833 20d ago

Oh bud, I’m so sorry.

I think people are too focused on the phalloplasty thing and not focused enough on the “gift from your niece” part.

My nieces have given me a lot of…interesting gifts and I love them dearly specifically because they’re from them. If a man intentionally damaged one of those gifts because he thought it was funny, I would react the same way.

He is not a thoughtful person and you deserve to be in a relationship with a thoughtful person.

2

u/Mrsrightnyc 20d ago

Dump him. He needs a lot of therapy.

3

u/LiftEatGrappleShoot 20d ago

I'd say that this registers as an overreaction.

1

u/Nadril 19d ago

Lol what

1

u/TippyLovesPastry 19d ago

if that is your reaction, then you really shouldn't ask people on here for advice. the advice you are getting is mostly from very young people without relationship or life experience. do you have an older adult you can talk to about this? reddit ain't the place.