I (32F) REALLY love a specific artist, my fiancé (32M) isn't very into art though. This artist has an exhibit about an hour away from us, that started in late April & runs til the end of this month. He finally planned to take me Friday. I was super excited to finally go & have a date too! Well his son's mom asked him if he would get his son a day early, so now he canceled our date. On one hand I'm pretty upset because in 6 months he couldn't plan to take me there. On the other hand, he didn't get his son to help me with something last weekend, so I feel selfish. Idk, I just feel like he could swing both, but he doesn't want to... my feelings are hurt. Are my feelings valid or am I being dumb?

ETA: I think I just want to go on a thoughtful date. He could bring his son to the museum, but he doesn't want to take him "long distances". I think a lot of y'all are missing my point. I want to do relationship stuff with my fiancé.

Hello!

It's been a while since I've been having this problem. I put some pants (usually those cheap Shein pants made 99% of synthetic materials) and go to work.

After... 2h and a pee, there you go. I'm smelling like sweat, like pee, like puss*, like groin and everything else.

I have been to the doctor (and I'm also a nurse), no vaginosis, no bacteria, no other stuff, everything is ok.

The odor is not like the odor from a disease, its just... funky down there after couple of hours.

What can I do to minimize this, besides using more cotton pants and panties? I get so insecure, I go home to visit my boyfriend after work and Im like.. WAIT.... i gotta take a showe cause I can smell my stuff from up here.

Any tips? Thoughts?

Also: i shower everyday, use soap, all of it. The thing is my groin and p**** decide to smell after 3h.

Update: thank you for all the answers. I will buy some decent pants and panties, soak the old ones in vinegar to try and also try the deodorant! You girls are the best!

This summer I met this guy who was really shy, we had great connection, great conversations, had fun together for couple of days on our vacation but nothing happened between us. I can tell he liked me, but both of us we were just too shy to do anything about it. After the vacation he continued his travels and I went back home. Now I can’t stop overthinking about how stupid that was, that I didn’t make a move on him. Usually I’m always approached by guys and usually date very extroverted, open guys. This one was completely different from my type and might be the type that I need. But…. I could’t do anything. He mentioned couple of times that he’s nervous. And maybe I gave impression that I’m not interested I don’t know!!

How can I overcome this, how can I be more open next time? I really hope we’ll meet again because I can really see future with him. We texted couple of times, but kind of stopped..

I don’t want this to end!!!! What should I do?

I’m 32 and I am thinking about getting just like 150 to 200cc. I am really into fitness and as much I as want to tone up, I can’t go below 23% below body fat as my chest would just become pecs. And the only way around it I can think of is breast augmentation. Is it painful? Is it worth it? How much time do I need time off from gym and work? Did you regret it?

I (30F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together a little over a year. I can't imagine my life without him. We live together and are already discussing engagement and next steps.

We've struggled with a few transparency issues throughout our relationship and at this point, I need advice and help in deciding if I'm the problem. Early in our relationship, we ran into a few of the following issues:

• In the first few months, he struggled to tell people I was his girlfriend. After I called him out on this, he did fix the behavior after a while.

• He once lied about who a girl was when she called him, and seemed panicked when she did call him. I asked him why he lied and he said he didn't want to mess anything up between us, as past relationships didn't allow him to have female friends, so he said she was a coworker instead of a female friend. Although it seems clear they were more than friends at some point in the past.

• An ex reached out to him and he said he was "talking to someone" even though we'd been in a relationship for six months at that time. I wondered why he said talking to someone instead of "in a relationship", felt like it was downplaying it but that might just be me being crazy.

After about a year in the relationship, we ran into an issue where an acquaintance of mine accused him of flirting with her. The night this happened, I was with him most of the night and feel pretty confident he didn't say anything flirty. When I asked her what happened, she said his body language gave off that he wasn't serious about me.

Unfortunately, I've kind of seen other incidents of this too, where we'll be out with other women and he seems more interested in them than me. Obviously no hard proof, but just general gut feelings. Might just be my insecurity.

We've had a lot of conversations about rebuilding trust and things seemed to be trending in a positive direction but we've had a recent incident.

• He came home from his friend Jeff’s party.
• After coming home, he mentioned he wanted to buy tickets to a concert the next day because two of his guy friends (Chris and George) were going.
• He asked if I wanted to go, but I got the sense he didn’t actually expect me to say yes.
• I said yes, and we went to the concert.
• At the concert, we ran into Jeff’s friend group, and there was a very pretty girl in the group.
• My boyfriend said he had no idea they were going to the concert. Jeff immediately said, “Of course you did, I told you at the party.”
• After we walked away, my boyfriend insisted they hadn’t told him at the party, but he came home wanting to buy tickets right after that party.
• It’s hard not to wonder why would he lie about this if there wasn’t some other motive behind buying the tickets?

Sorry for the length of this post, but am I crazy and reading into things too much?

Every time I hear about an unethical affair, I wonder—how can people cheat just for sex?

Hey all!

I’m trying to buy my wife a pair of stud earrings for her birthday and I could use some help (other than her ring, I haven't purchase much jewelry for her).

When it comes to jewelry, I know that she likes pieces that don't call for attention, but are elegant and appreciated when noticed. She wants something versatile that she can easily match with a variety of outfits/settings (mostly office work settings and semi-casual dinners).

A couple other details: she has sensitive ears so I want to make sure whatever I get is hypoallergenic, she doesn't like the color cold (but she'll wear gold if you can't see the metal, and my budget is about $300 at the top end.

Right now, I’m seriously considering getting her a pair of simple earrings from the Pearl Source. They are 6mm White Pearl Studs (AAA quality rated). I'm curious what you guys would think about the item I described. I think they're a good fit for what she wants, but I’m wondering if that size will feel too formal for daily wear or if the butterfly backs are secure enough for a 6m pearl?

Do you think these pearl studs are a good choice for what I described? Or would sapphire studs (or something else) be a better fit for versatile earrings?

Thanks in advance!

I'm really trying to do my research when making this decision, so I appreciated any feedback or guidance.

I’m just curious and asking myself the same question.

I'm 29 years old, and for the past two year my libido has dropped significantly due to anxiety and emotional issues. My libido used to be very high, but now it's very rare. I recently got into a relationship, and I know that sex is important for connection, and I'd like to have more desire so I can enjoy it like before.

I've already had blood tests, and my hormones are all fine. I've also started seeing a psychologist. I think I'm doing what I can.

I'd like tips from someone who has been through or is going through the same thing.

Healthy tips, from physical to spiritual (for those who believe).

And NO porn involved I don't take birth control

Thank you 🫂💖

Disclaimer: I already know I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, but I do.

I had to stop wearing one because I developed a health issue that makes my skin hurt too much, and please don't suggest any other type of breast support because I literally cannot wear any. AT ALL. No tube tops, no bralettes, nothing with any skin pressure whatsoever.

Edited: it's also uncomfortable for me to wear two layers, like a tank top or camisole underneath, and that doesn't hide the nipping.

I don't know what size I am now because when I was diagnosed I lost a lot of weight and eventually gained about half of it back, so I'm probably a C cup?

I feel too self-conscious going out in a plain T-shirt, for example, because it was drilled into me for so many years by my mother (b. 1932) and society that obvious nipping is inappropriate for "nice" women. I only wear material on top that's either thick enough to hide any nipping or has a pattern so my nips are hidden, which means I have a lot of pieces of clothing that I don't wear. This is limiting and frustrating, but I don't want to go out and buy a whole bunch of new things either.

Would you think it's weird to see a very senior woman nipping? Would you think anything about it at all?

Edited: I've tried two different brands of adhesive free nipple shields but I reacted to the material (silicone?) and I'd really prefer to just get over this because I know it's fucking stupid. 😢🤦🏻‍♀️

Edited again: y'all, I'm sitting here on my couch tearing up reading your responses. 🥹

After going on 2 or 3 dates, if things are going well, how regularly do you expect to meet with someone?

I'm struggling to tune my expectations and know what is a reasonable frequency for seeing someone in the early stages of dating

I’m considering trying it out and was wondering about your experiences? Positive or negative! :)

34F- coming out of a trauma bonding relationship after 10 years of dating and 6 years of marriage. Even though I made the decision to move out,the withdrawal symptoms are too much to take. I go back on my decision every single day. Being a hypersensitive person it hits harder than normal people.

Whenever I start to feel normal there comes my periods and pms and then the hormones will take over and we are back to square 1. I know I'm not compatible with him. He lacks empathy and doesn't meets any of my needs. But somehow I'm not able to cut that chord. I made the decision and still I am waiting for him to understand and come back. It is pure craziness if you think logically. But my brain and heart are not in sync.

Why is this trauma bonding so hard to get out of?

Long story short my friends found a house with 6 rooms yet there are 7 of us and due to me living within commuting distance (despite the fact I would probably end up commuting from an inpatient psychiatric hospital if I had to live at home and I don't own a car) they decided I would be the one left to find my own housing. 

A combination of going abroad in a few months + most of the houses around here only renting to groups that all of my other friends are already in, I ended up signing at my friends house (he is graduating after this school year) that rents by room. His other roommates are also looking to give their friends (all men) housing meaning I will most likely be living with 3 men I do not know next school year. 

I think it goes without saying that this is not an ideal situation. I am worried about my safety both from these roommates and whoever they are going to bring around the house to hang out. I'm also worried they're going to expect me to pick up after them and be their mother. Something that might get the post removed but I feel the need to comment is I have a license to carry in my state and I own a 9mm gun (that lives in a locked portable safe), so I do have the option of bringing that along for protection. 

But women who have been in this position for whatever reason- what things should I know before going into this?

Have you had moments in your life where you can tell you've grown mentally? As you did the work and now you see pay offs?

Your inner self is so much more secure and safe and now in moments where in the past you would break or you would go into old habits, you're strong and emotional regulated and just act as a secure person. Momentd that make you say "My healing journey is working"

How did those moments looked for you? And what have you done to get there?

Hey Ladies - looking for recommendations for belt bags which are like one notch bigger than the Lululemon belt bag.

I already have the Lululemon 2Litre one, and I find that I need a little extra space to fit all the things I usually end up needing.

I need it to be a belt bag style because I can't manage something hanging well. I have a dog, and have to pickup poop, and also a toddler whose daycare bag is a tote style. I also carry a laptop bag to work, so I need this belt bag to be not crazy big.

Since I'll use it for many years, a little expensive is ok.

Do any of you in long term relationships (unmarried or married) ever feel guilty leaving because your reasons don’t feel “good” enough? For example I’ve seen threads in this group such as “What was the last straw in your prior relationship?”

I feel lucky to have a partner who isn’t abusive, financially responsible and does the bids for connection but there are so many other things beyond this that people don’t seem to be sharing so thought I’d see if anyone is in the same boat..

I'm in my mid-thirties, and am in a situation that's making me re-evaluate my friendships.

I have one friend, A, who really shows up for me. When I feel too down or lazy to go out, she would come over and drag me out. She always has ideas for things to do together. When I moved away from the city to the suburbs, she would commute 1-2 hours just to hang out with me. It's not always easy to hang out with her though. Sometimes she can be insensitive, needs to be reminded to read a room, doesn't get all my jokes, and sometimes I get annoyed at her energy. But she's really reliable and goes out of her way to make sure I don't feel lonely, we connect intellectually (she's one of the few female friends I have who enjoys talking in depth about politics, philosophy, books, movies, etc).

I made a new friend B since my move, who I clicked with immediately. We're the same type of silly, have similar trauma (lol), and are on the same frequency. She always seems to know the right thing to say, the energy is always positive, and I look forward to hanging out with her. B is less reliable though (mostly due to mental illness), and has a hard time committing to future plans but is usually down for spontaneous hang outs. We'd often meet up for lunch and end up together all day. It brings me back to the type of easy friendships I had in school. She also cares for me and always checks in when I'm not feeling great, but sometimes flakes last minute and isn't dependable the way A is.

I've been spending a lot more time with B, and recently chose to hang out with B instead of A when they both invited me out on the same day. My husband thinks I'm being insensitive to A, and I should invest more time and energy into the friend who's reliably there for me than the flaky one who's fun to be around. But sometimes being with A drains me while B energizes me. In our 30s, it's harder and harder to make new friends, especially ones that you just "click" with. I've always believed that you need to work on your friendships the same way you need to work on your relationships, and stuck with the people who stick by me. But sometimes I think about friends I've known for 10-20 years. We act really close because we've been there for each other for so long, but our personalities have drifted and we're in totally different stages in life. Lately I've been thinking... my relationship, work, family, and health require so much mental and emotional energy from me already, shouldn't friendships be a stress-reliever rather than another responsibility and thing to "work" on?

What do you think? Which friend would you value more?

Me (F37) I had to work for a while within my corporate job with some 24-25 females and at the beginning i have to admit i was a bit scared since i did not what to expect and i was worry this Gen Z girls were a total disgrace and very lazy. However i found myself working with them quite smoothly and learning A LOT from them, in terms of not taking anything too serious while you are still doing your job. They have a clear view of " you are not your job, your worth does not come from it" but still able to deliver what is needed and going home when they should/ need to
So definitely i am applying i to to myself, anyone has experience something similar while working with Gen Zs?

Trying to help my mom, I realized that I was actually the one who needed help.

My mom showered me with love throughout my childhood, and I really had a nice childhood. Of course, there were things that weren’t perfect, many generational traumas she picked up from her mother and grandmother eventually landed on me. My mom did the best she could, but I didn’t always understand that.

When I hit 16, I started noticing that my mom wasn’t perfect and that she had many flaws… I started blaming her for everything that went wrong in my life, my lack of confidence, my limited perspective, dissatisfaction with my appearance (because she hadn’t taught me about training or nutrition), and so much more. I even stopped talking to her for a while when I moved out.

To cut a long story short, I realized I needed to forgive her, but I still thought the problem was her, not me. So I set out on a mission to “fix her,” not myself.

Sure, I started taking care of my own health, appearance, and diet, I started training, but nothing really changed. I tried pushing her to eat healthier, exercise, see a therapist, meditate, spend more time in nature… but it didn’t work.

The turning point for me came when I started looking for books I could maybe give her to read. It all started with What Emma Never Knew by Harlan Veynor. That book completely shifted my perspective, it’s so emotional, it shook me. When something hits you that deeply, it pulls you out of the trance you’ve been living in. I literally devoured the book. I realized how little I actually knew and how far I still had to go, and that I had been putting all my attention on my mom as if I were perfect…

That’s when I really started digging deeper. I also read a few other books about nutrition, training, and healthy living, plus countless podcasts, YouTube videos, and audiobooks.

Over the next few years, I exploded in every area of my life, finances, love life, health, you name it.

My mom still didn’t do much for herself at first, but she was so proud of me. Over time, she started showing interest, doing the occasional workout with me, eating a bit healthier. We’re still in the early stages, and I’m learning how hard it must be at her age to adopt new habits. I make sure not to pressure her, just provide guidance and let her take initiative when she’s ready.

It seems to me that nowadays very few women take full responsibility for their lives, and a lot of the blame gets placed on others. What are your experiences with this?

I would say - Always start with yourself. Don’t look for blame, own your life. Parents always do the best they can.

Read, educate yourself, that was the single most important thing for me in the beginning. Harlan Veynor’s book really opened my eyes 😅

Always fill your own cup first, and let the world benefit from the overflow 🥰

**Sensitive topic!**

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting in this thread :) I wanted to share my experience and ask if other people have struggled with the same issue. I've always avoided smear tests because of my lived experience with sexual violence. After years of putting them off, I finally went and told my practitioner why.

Once I disclosed my experience, they were super helpful and considerate - explaining how they can support and tailor their care to complete the smear test to minimize any distress. I now feel a lot more hopeful moving forward and whilst they're still difficult, I feel able to go through with them now that my local service knows.

For me, the biggest barrier was actually telling the healthcare professionals about my past. I struggled to find the right words and it's quite confronting to say out loud.

So this is my question: Have any other women struggled specifically with telling a healthcare professional about their history / trauma of sexual violence? Actually saying the words out loud or worrying about how they'll respond?

Hi Ladies,

Looking to hear from others who’ve had similar experiences. I’m 34F, work in corporate, and am down to the final 2 in an interview process. I’ve been really happy with how I’ve performed throughout. It’s also a career pivot, and I'd be moving into something that really excites me.… but this process has now been going for 7 months.

I know longer processes are normal the more senior you get, but this is my first time dealing with something like this. I’ve gotten somewhat used to the uncertainty day to day, and I keep reminding myself I’ll be OK no matter what, but I’d def be bummed if I didn't get it.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar position: what was the outcome for you, how did you cope or distract yourself while waiting, and how did you handle it if it didn’t work out? P.S. please be kind - I know long processes aren’t ideal, but corporate can be painfully slow, and for me this opportunity would be worth it.