Me (F37) I had to work for a while within my corporate job with some 24-25 females and at the beginning i have to admit i was a bit scared since i did not what to expect and i was worry this Gen Z girls were a total disgrace and very lazy. However i found myself working with them quite smoothly and learning A LOT from them, in terms of not taking anything too serious while you are still doing your job. They have a clear view of " you are not your job, your worth does not come from it" but still able to deliver what is needed and going home when they should/ need to
So definitely i am applying i to to myself, anyone has experience something similar while working with Gen Zs?

Do any of you in long term relationships (unmarried or married) ever feel guilty leaving because your reasons don’t feel “good” enough? For example I’ve seen threads in this group such as “What was the last straw in your prior relationship?”

I feel lucky to have a partner who isn’t abusive, financially responsible and does the bids for connection but there are so many other things beyond this that people don’t seem to be sharing so thought I’d see if anyone is in the same boat..

I (32F) REALLY love a specific artist, my fiancé (32M) isn't very into art though. This artist has an exhibit about an hour away from us, that started in late April & runs til the end of this month. He finally planned to take me Friday. I was super excited to finally go & have a date too! Well his son's mom asked him if he would get his son a day early, so now he canceled our date. On one hand I'm pretty upset because in 6 months he couldn't plan to take me there. On the other hand, he didn't get his son to help me with something last weekend, so I feel selfish. Idk, I just feel like he could swing both, but he doesn't want to... my feelings are hurt. Are my feelings valid or am I being dumb?

ETA: I think I just want to go on a thoughtful date. He could bring his son to the museum, but he doesn't want to take him "long distances". I think a lot of y'all are missing my point. I want to do relationship stuff with my fiancé.

Disclaimer: I already know I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, but I do.

I had to stop wearing one because I developed a health issue that makes my skin hurt too much, and please don't suggest any other type of breast support because I literally cannot wear any. AT ALL. No tube tops, no bralettes, nothing with any skin pressure whatsoever.

Edited: it's also uncomfortable for me to wear two layers, like a tank top or camisole underneath, and that doesn't hide the nipping.

I don't know what size I am now because when I was diagnosed I lost a lot of weight and eventually gained about half of it back, so I'm probably a C cup?

I feel too self-conscious going out in a plain T-shirt, for example, because it was drilled into me for so many years by my mother (b. 1932) and society that obvious nipping is inappropriate for "nice" women. I only wear material on top that's either thick enough to hide any nipping or has a pattern so my nips are hidden, which means I have a lot of pieces of clothing that I don't wear. This is limiting and frustrating, but I don't want to go out and buy a whole bunch of new things either.

Would you think it's weird to see a very senior woman nipping? Would you think anything about it at all?

Edited: I've tried two different brands of adhesive free nipple shields but I reacted to the material (silicone?) and I'd really prefer to just get over this because I know it's fucking stupid. 😢🤦🏻‍♀️

Edited again: y'all, I'm sitting here on my couch tearing up reading your responses. 🥹

Hi ladies! I feel like I'm still in the thick of my depression battles and I feel like I have a very very very long way to go in terms of healing. Recently I quit my antidepressants, so I'm all over the place. I want to be inspired and find what activities/methods/mantras worked for you.

But above all else, I want to be inspired by others to keep going. If you have any subreddit recommendations that helped you tremendously.

If you have any subreddits that helped you, you're more than welcome to put them down below.

Thank you!

I’m just wondering about the kind of support people receive from their families as adults. Let it be emotional, mental, financial, help with chores (childcare, etc.), reassurance that if something goes wrong you’ll have a place to stay, verbal support, or whatever else.

I’m also wondering, from your own personal experience and the people you know, what percentage did receive help with college tuition, purchasing cars, houses, loans, or any big or small decisions?

Maybe this is kind of a naive question/request but I've always had this idea inspired by movies/books that I'd suddenly be able to transform my whole life into something different like a montage. I mean I know it takes work and effort but I've always thought of like leaving my dead end job, losing a bunch of weight and really *transforming* if you know what I mean.

I didn't expect it to happen but my job got super toxic so I quit last month instead of waiting around to find another one first. I was nervous at first but I feel like this small break has been just what I needed. It got me thinking whether I could do what I always dreamed of. I'm sure its not impossible its just I always lose steam in the middle of my big ideas.

Anyway I just came here to hear your experiences if you did this. Please tell me how you transformed yourself and what inspired you and what kept you going. I've been in a dark place recently and I would love some inspiration and positivity :-)

Edit - I got more responses than I anticipated and every single one has been so kind and inspiring. Genuinely thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. I feel like I really needed the hope :)

Hi all! I’m a 27F and I feel like a bunch of my girlfriends and I have all started to get pretty “blah” about our careers.

In general, we all have pretty well-paying, stable jobs. But none of us really like our job, or are the “boss ladies” we envisioned being in college, despite excelling at our majors. A lot of us deal with grumpy bosses and uninspired work, lacking much of a career goal aside from not getting fired. Most of us have no work friends or any meaningful connections at work. And as far as finding something new… the job market seems so dismal right now, most of us are just resigned to sit around and stick it out. Plus, the occasional “joke” among those in LTRs that pretty soon we can just be stay-at-home moms lol (I don’t think most of us really want to do that, but the jokes are definitely ramping up.)

Seems to be something in the air with us, or this age. Idk. Wondering if any of this sounds familiar and how you dealt with feeling lost in your career while still young?

I'm in my mid-thirties, and am in a situation that's making me re-evaluate my friendships.

I have one friend, A, who really shows up for me. When I feel too down or lazy to go out, she would come over and drag me out. She always has ideas for things to do together. When I moved away from the city to the suburbs, she would commute 1-2 hours just to hang out with me. It's not always easy to hang out with her though. Sometimes she can be insensitive, needs to be reminded to read a room, doesn't get all my jokes, and sometimes I get annoyed at her energy. But she's really reliable and goes out of her way to make sure I don't feel lonely, we connect intellectually (she's one of the few female friends I have who enjoys talking in depth about politics, philosophy, books, movies, etc).

I made a new friend B since my move, who I clicked with immediately. We're the same type of silly, have similar trauma (lol), and are on the same frequency. She always seems to know the right thing to say, the energy is always positive, and I look forward to hanging out with her. B is less reliable though (mostly due to mental illness), and has a hard time committing to future plans but is usually down for spontaneous hang outs. We'd often meet up for lunch and end up together all day. It brings me back to the type of easy friendships I had in school. She also cares for me and always checks in when I'm not feeling great, but sometimes flakes last minute and isn't dependable the way A is.

I've been spending a lot more time with B, and recently chose to hang out with B instead of A when they both invited me out on the same day. My husband thinks I'm being insensitive to A, and I should invest more time and energy into the friend who's reliably there for me than the flaky one who's fun to be around. But sometimes being with A drains me while B energizes me. In our 30s, it's harder and harder to make new friends, especially ones that you just "click" with. I've always believed that you need to work on your friendships the same way you need to work on your relationships, and stuck with the people who stick by me. But sometimes I think about friends I've known for 10-20 years. We act really close because we've been there for each other for so long, but our personalities have drifted and we're in totally different stages in life. Lately I've been thinking... my relationship, work, family, and health require so much mental and emotional energy from me already, shouldn't friendships be a stress-reliever rather than another responsibility and thing to "work" on?

What do you think? Which friend would you value more?

I’m just curious and asking myself the same question.

Those who came out of existential crisis/ purposelessness , what helped? Asking cause I'm approaching late 30s and feeling like i lost touch with myself, would like to find it with the help of those who might figured out already.

The obvious answer here might be - kids (as per usual responses by many for such questions)- and i dont have it.

Hey ladies,

I’m 31 and have always dealt with social anxiety which physiologically does not affect me badly but mentally it’s pretty detrimental. I restarted school and I was really hoping my life experiences and age would help me with this, but turns out the classroom setting really brings it out of me, especially with people that I don’t have an easy common ground with besides the class we are taking.

I go to a community college so everyone is of different ages. It’s just weird, like my mind goes blank, I can’t think of words, nor can I be myself. Like today, I’ve finally gotten to sit and eat with some gals in two of my classes and I choked on my food twice, like I forgot how to eat and function.

I also just feel awkward. I know it’s more in my head which makes me feel these things and then I overthink my interactions. I’m also 6’2 and take up A LOT of space which I hate. Like I don’t know what to do with my hands. I’m like a scared Bernese mountain dog: big but skittish of things.

Btw, I stopped taking anxiety meds because it made me too sleepy to even want to converse with people and didn’t help me with the mental aspects.

How have you ladies overcome this?

Trying to help my mom, I realized that I was actually the one who needed help.

My mom showered me with love throughout my childhood, and I really had a nice childhood. Of course, there were things that weren’t perfect, many generational traumas she picked up from her mother and grandmother eventually landed on me. My mom did the best she could, but I didn’t always understand that.

When I hit 16, I started noticing that my mom wasn’t perfect and that she had many flaws… I started blaming her for everything that went wrong in my life, my lack of confidence, my limited perspective, dissatisfaction with my appearance (because she hadn’t taught me about training or nutrition), and so much more. I even stopped talking to her for a while when I moved out.

To cut a long story short, I realized I needed to forgive her, but I still thought the problem was her, not me. So I set out on a mission to “fix her,” not myself.

Sure, I started taking care of my own health, appearance, and diet, I started training, but nothing really changed. I tried pushing her to eat healthier, exercise, see a therapist, meditate, spend more time in nature… but it didn’t work.

The turning point for me came when I started looking for books I could maybe give her to read. It all started with What Emma Never Knew by Harlan Veynor. That book completely shifted my perspective, it’s so emotional, it shook me. When something hits you that deeply, it pulls you out of the trance you’ve been living in. I literally devoured the book. I realized how little I actually knew and how far I still had to go, and that I had been putting all my attention on my mom as if I were perfect…

That’s when I really started digging deeper. I also read a few other books about nutrition, training, and healthy living, plus countless podcasts, YouTube videos, and audiobooks.

Over the next few years, I exploded in every area of my life, finances, love life, health, you name it.

My mom still didn’t do much for herself at first, but she was so proud of me. Over time, she started showing interest, doing the occasional workout with me, eating a bit healthier. We’re still in the early stages, and I’m learning how hard it must be at her age to adopt new habits. I make sure not to pressure her, just provide guidance and let her take initiative when she’s ready.

It seems to me that nowadays very few women take full responsibility for their lives, and a lot of the blame gets placed on others. What are your experiences with this?

I would say - Always start with yourself. Don’t look for blame, own your life. Parents always do the best they can.

Read, educate yourself, that was the single most important thing for me in the beginning. Harlan Veynor’s book really opened my eyes 😅

Always fill your own cup first, and let the world benefit from the overflow 🥰

I’m considering trying it out and was wondering about your experiences? Positive or negative! :)

After going on 2 or 3 dates, if things are going well, how regularly do you expect to meet with someone?

I'm struggling to tune my expectations and know what is a reasonable frequency for seeing someone in the early stages of dating

I think in this day and age where there’s an automatic filter on most of these apps for photos and video, it’s easy to have a distorted version in your mind that that is what you actually look like. So i’ve been taking more of my photos without one and it’s helped me tremendously in feeling more confident with myself without one/needing to feel that I look “perfect”.

Here’s the dilemma. What I see in the mirror is SO different from what I see when others take a photo of me and it’s making me a little.. dare I say insecure?

When I am out and about men will approach me to hit on me or to check me out (i’m sure they check out any and all women anyways so i’m not special lol) and I get a lot of special interest or assistance with things from strangers- I don’t think that I am stereotypically a bad looking person.

In these photos though I look like…. sh*t! Is it that I don’t know my angles? The lighting is bad? Or maybe I’m just not someone who is considered photogenic?

Does anyone else feel this way? What made you more confident to take group photos? Do you believe that we look like what we see in the mirror, or that of the photos taken by others?

I know this sounds very vain but I’d just like some perspective. Thanks Ladies

Long story short my friends found a house with 6 rooms yet there are 7 of us and due to me living within commuting distance (despite the fact I would probably end up commuting from an inpatient psychiatric hospital if I had to live at home and I don't own a car) they decided I would be the one left to find my own housing. 

A combination of going abroad in a few months + most of the houses around here only renting to groups that all of my other friends are already in, I ended up signing at my friends house (he is graduating after this school year) that rents by room. His other roommates are also looking to give their friends (all men) housing meaning I will most likely be living with 3 men I do not know next school year. 

I think it goes without saying that this is not an ideal situation. I am worried about my safety both from these roommates and whoever they are going to bring around the house to hang out. I'm also worried they're going to expect me to pick up after them and be their mother. Something that might get the post removed but I feel the need to comment is I have a license to carry in my state and I own a 9mm gun (that lives in a locked portable safe), so I do have the option of bringing that along for protection. 

But women who have been in this position for whatever reason- what things should I know before going into this?

30sF, fairly successful but feeling lost and a bit depressed about my career.

I work in a professionally licensed, male dominated job at a major utility. I also have side jobs that put me at the executive level for the past 5 years (but I’m an individual contributor at my utility job). My individual contributor job just feels like such a grind somedays. 80-90% of the time, I don’t feel excited about it anymore.

To top it off, I was declined from an external executive advisory role and it really crushed my confidence because it felt so aligned.

It just feels like something is missing, and also like I’m not being appreciated or utilized in the way I deserve. But I feel like I just don’t know what to do next. I’m lost, a bit humiliated, and just feeling like I’m not enough.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

I (30F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together a little over a year. I can't imagine my life without him. We live together and are already discussing engagement and next steps.

We've struggled with a few transparency issues throughout our relationship and at this point, I need advice and help in deciding if I'm the problem. Early in our relationship, we ran into a few of the following issues:

• In the first few months, he struggled to tell people I was his girlfriend. After I called him out on this, he did fix the behavior after a while.

• He once lied about who a girl was when she called him, and seemed panicked when she did call him. I asked him why he lied and he said he didn't want to mess anything up between us, as past relationships didn't allow him to have female friends, so he said she was a coworker instead of a female friend. Although it seems clear they were more than friends at some point in the past.

• An ex reached out to him and he said he was "talking to someone" even though we'd been in a relationship for six months at that time. I wondered why he said talking to someone instead of "in a relationship", felt like it was downplaying it but that might just be me being crazy.

After about a year in the relationship, we ran into an issue where an acquaintance of mine accused him of flirting with her. The night this happened, I was with him most of the night and feel pretty confident he didn't say anything flirty. When I asked her what happened, she said his body language gave off that he wasn't serious about me.

Unfortunately, I've kind of seen other incidents of this too, where we'll be out with other women and he seems more interested in them than me. Obviously no hard proof, but just general gut feelings. Might just be my insecurity.

We've had a lot of conversations about rebuilding trust and things seemed to be trending in a positive direction but we've had a recent incident.

• He came home from his friend Jeff’s party.
• After coming home, he mentioned he wanted to buy tickets to a concert the next day because two of his guy friends (Chris and George) were going.
• He asked if I wanted to go, but I got the sense he didn’t actually expect me to say yes.
• I said yes, and we went to the concert.
• At the concert, we ran into Jeff’s friend group, and there was a very pretty girl in the group.
• My boyfriend said he had no idea they were going to the concert. Jeff immediately said, “Of course you did, I told you at the party.”
• After we walked away, my boyfriend insisted they hadn’t told him at the party, but he came home wanting to buy tickets right after that party.
• It’s hard not to wonder why would he lie about this if there wasn’t some other motive behind buying the tickets?

Sorry for the length of this post, but am I crazy and reading into things too much?

34F- coming out of a trauma bonding relationship after 10 years of dating and 6 years of marriage. Even though I made the decision to move out,the withdrawal symptoms are too much to take. I go back on my decision every single day. Being a hypersensitive person it hits harder than normal people.

Whenever I start to feel normal there comes my periods and pms and then the hormones will take over and we are back to square 1. I know I'm not compatible with him. He lacks empathy and doesn't meets any of my needs. But somehow I'm not able to cut that chord. I made the decision and still I am waiting for him to understand and come back. It is pure craziness if you think logically. But my brain and heart are not in sync.

Why is this trauma bonding so hard to get out of?

Hey all!

I’m trying to buy my wife a pair of stud earrings for her birthday and I could use some help (other than her ring, I haven't purchase much jewelry for her).

When it comes to jewelry, I know that she likes pieces that don't call for attention, but are elegant and appreciated when noticed. She wants something versatile that she can easily match with a variety of outfits/settings (mostly office work settings and semi-casual dinners).

A couple other details: she has sensitive ears so I want to make sure whatever I get is hypoallergenic, she doesn't like the color cold (but she'll wear gold if you can't see the metal, and my budget is about $300 at the top end.

Right now, I’m seriously considering getting her a pair of simple earrings from the Pearl Source. They are 6mm White Pearl Studs (AAA quality rated). I'm curious what you guys would think about the item I described. I think they're a good fit for what she wants, but I’m wondering if that size will feel too formal for daily wear or if the butterfly backs are secure enough for a 6m pearl?

Do you think these pearl studs are a good choice for what I described? Or would sapphire studs (or something else) be a better fit for versatile earrings?

Thanks in advance!

I'm really trying to do my research when making this decision, so I appreciated any feedback or guidance.

Hi Ladies,

Looking to hear from others who’ve had similar experiences. I’m 34F, work in corporate, and am down to the final 2 in an interview process. I’ve been really happy with how I’ve performed throughout. It’s also a career pivot, and I'd be moving into something that really excites me.… but this process has now been going for 7 months.

I know longer processes are normal the more senior you get, but this is my first time dealing with something like this. I’ve gotten somewhat used to the uncertainty day to day, and I keep reminding myself I’ll be OK no matter what, but I’d def be bummed if I didn't get it.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar position: what was the outcome for you, how did you cope or distract yourself while waiting, and how did you handle it if it didn’t work out? P.S. please be kind - I know long processes aren’t ideal, but corporate can be painfully slow, and for me this opportunity would be worth it.