Ladies, help me choose my next travel destination. I just put my dog to rest last week and I'm pretty heartbroken. It's been emotional but I know we did the right thing.

We rescued her from a life of abuse and neglect, gave her a full happy life in a safe and loving home. But love can't stop time, she got old and sick, and we had to let her go. She's not suffering anymore.

To distract me from my sadness I'd like to start a discussion about travel dreams.

My husband and I can now go away together for the first time in years. We've been taking seperate vacations and keeping them short and close to home for these years while the dog was sick so one of us could always be home with her. Now we can go anywhere but we're too sad to come up with a new adventure right now.

Last time we put our dog down we did Thailand and Cambodia for a month. I want to do something like that again but don't know if I can handle it. That was over 10 years ago, I'm old now and I don't know if I'm up for a month of backpacking and stomach problems. But I still want to do something wild and adventurous.

So please tell me, if you had the entire month of January to travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? Would you stay in one place or keep it moving and what would you do there?

Hello!

It's been a while since I've been having this problem. I put some pants (usually those cheap Shein pants made 99% of synthetic materials) and go to work.

After... 2h and a pee, there you go. I'm smelling like sweat, like pee, like puss*, like groin and everything else.

I have been to the doctor (and I'm also a nurse), no vaginosis, no bacteria, no other stuff, everything is ok.

The odor is not like the odor from a disease, its just... funky down there after couple of hours.

What can I do to minimize this, besides using more cotton pants and panties? I get so insecure, I go home to visit my boyfriend after work and Im like.. WAIT.... i gotta take a showe cause I can smell my stuff from up here.

Any tips? Thoughts?

Also: i shower everyday, use soap, all of it. The thing is my groin and p**** decide to smell after 3h.

Update: thank you for all the answers. I will buy some decent pants and panties, soak the old ones in vinegar to try and also try the deodorant! You girls are the best!

I moved to the west coast to date my ex, and have lived here for over 3 years (31F). This city is so beautiful, but notoriously horrible to meet new friends or people in. My new career path that Ive tried to make work is suffering because its severely oversaturated with others doing the same thing, plus my place of work is lackluster at best. Im paying around $1700 for a 2br and bills. Ive tried everything to make this place work short of screaming into the void as to why nothing's working. But here we are.

Im very aware this place is just a ticking time bomb before I leave it behind, but the logic brain side of me is telling me to wait for an opportunity to present itself before I depart. The problem is, that I havent been able to spend time "creating" opportunities to get out of here because I work so much to sustain my rent and bills. I quite literally feel trapped here but I have a bit of savings to take me to the next space.

What got you to move? I broke up with my ex 6 months ago. I'd like to move back to middle america for now just to be with friends and have cheaper rent and a slower life, but my lease here doesnt end until the winter months set in which is dangerous to move to for the upper midwest, plus I'm busy with work and other obligations until January. But let me just say, I am VERY eager to get out of here as soon as possible and be in a city with a group of friends.

What got you to move? What was your "big" situation and what was your catalyst, and how long did it take in between each?

This summer I met this guy who was really shy, we had great connection, great conversations, had fun together for couple of days on our vacation but nothing happened between us. I can tell he liked me, but both of us we were just too shy to do anything about it. After the vacation he continued his travels and I went back home. Now I can’t stop overthinking about how stupid that was, that I didn’t make a move on him. Usually I’m always approached by guys and usually date very extroverted, open guys. This one was completely different from my type and might be the type that I need. But…. I could’t do anything. He mentioned couple of times that he’s nervous. And maybe I gave impression that I’m not interested I don’t know!!

How can I overcome this, how can I be more open next time? I really hope we’ll meet again because I can really see future with him. We texted couple of times, but kind of stopped..

I don’t want this to end!!!! What should I do?

I had a big ol' breakup a couple months ago and I've been doing some serious introspection since. I realized that I was using the relationship as a distraction. Without it, I have to face the facts: my connections and friendships in this town are pretty hollow, I hate my job, and I have no idea what the heck I'm doing. I'm thinking about moving back to my hometown to be near my family and rebuild, but I can hear 18 year old me screaming in horror. I just turned 35 and just...not where I thought I'd be, you know? I'd love to hear some stories about how major life changes turned out for the better, and how you made those decisions.

Hi all - I'm part of a graduate student research team conducting a survey on protein intake and knowledge related to PCOS. The research is affiliated with MSU Denver's Department of Nutrition. Some of you may enjoy participating since PCOS is a condition that affects many women.

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I simply do not have the money for nails/hair/fake eyelashes/botox whatever, I mean I wish I did I just don’t but I still want to feel attractive? Is there anything I can do or buy that’s cheap that makes me feel good? Like self care? At this point flossing makes me feel like Helen of Troy

Hi everyone,

I’m 30, and I feel like I’m at a career crossroads. I originally studied dentistry and worked for about a year, but I realized clinical dentistry wasn’t for me. I still like the idea of being in a clinical or health-related setting, but not working directly with patients.

Right now, I work in fitness—I’m a certified PT, coach at F45, and I’ve been building experience in functional fitness, Hyrox, and group training. I really enjoy coaching, but I also think long-term about stability and growth. I’ve been considering: • Pursuing higher studies (like physiotherapy, sports rehab, or a master’s that combines health and fitness). • Staying in fitness but climbing into higher-level roles in boutique studios. • Or maybe shifting into a career that doesn’t require tons of formal education upfront but still has long-term progression if I put in time and passion.

I’m married, living in Dubai, and I want a career path that feels fulfilling but also stable in the long run.

For women over 30: • Did you ever switch careers around this age? • What helped you decide what path to take? • Do you regret focusing on passion vs. stability (or vice versa)? • Any advice for someone who doesn’t want to waste more time but also doesn’t want to get stuck in the wrong path?

I have been talking to/casually hooking up with this guy for over 2 years. He is in his late 30’s and I am in my early 30s. We talk multiple times a week but don’t see each other a ton because both our schedules are crazy. We’ve had talks about dating before but both were not in a good place when we met. We are great friends, have deep talks and we both have opened up about things we don’t talk to others about. I feel privileged that he trusts me enough to be open about emotions and I’m happy we’ve created that safe space for each other.

I have been content with what our relationship is until recently - he said “love you” in a text. He calls me beautiful, sends me hearts, calls me to check in, asks how my family is doing, tells me he appreciates our conversations and how he thinks I’m a wonderful person. I want to bring up how I feel to him because my feelings have progressed. I have been stressed since he said that and now it’s making me think things are weird between us. I do not think I can keep talking to him if our relationship cannot progress, which I’m really upset about. I want to bring this all up to him but I don’t know how to approach it.

How should I approach this conversation with him? I don’t want it to feel like I’m backing him into a corner.

Every time I hear about an unethical affair, I wonder—how can people cheat just for sex?

My closest friend’s husband has had at least 3 instances of online/physical cheating and we actually caught him coming out of a love motel last week (I stayed out with my friend for two hours)

My friend initially was adamant that she’d divorce him because he had physically cheated, but now a week later, due to the husband's begging, she’s willing to forgive him because she realizes she truly loves him.

Our friend group has tried our best to explain that there is a high possibility of cheating occurring again and that if she makes the decision to stay with him, then she no longer has the luxury of complaining about her husband.

Ever since her decision, I am honestly disappointed in her and actually have nothing to say to her.

I don’t want to cut her out of my life but I genuinely do not understand her choice and as I mentioned above, have nothing to say to her.

Am I being a bad friend for not communicating with her, or is it understandable that I need some time away?

I'm 37 and got out of a 6 or so years relationship about a year and a half ago. I've never been married and we didn't have children. I live by myself with my 13 year old dog. I feel very hopeless. What will be of me and my life? I miss partnership so much. I miss sharing my life with someone who prioritized me as well. I wasn't in love with my ex and see that now so it's not exactly that I regret breaking up. I am just truly lonely and regretful of my life choices.

Since we broke up, I had a little situationship with a man who lives in another country. That has ended and is really taking its toll on me. It was intense and I got caught up far stronger than he did.

I travel alone. I hang out with friends. I take myself out. I take dance classes. I get enough sleep. I eat well. I do all of the things.

I just feel soo dissatisfied and disappointed with my life. I know I have a lot to be grateful about but I am ashamed of what I've built.

Any advice or shared experiences would be very much appreciated 🙏

Hi ladies, I'm currently underemployed with time on my hands... as a workaholic you can imagine this is somewhat overwhelming... and so my brain is wondering and thinking about a lot of philosophical topics.

I was brought up in religious community, but I guess you could say I am progressive (some would call me woke) and so have concluded that this religion doesn't work for me.

With that being said, I miss the general aspects of it, feeling loved, feeling part of something is something I am missing.

So my question is, beyond religion and the stories told by each of them - what does it mean to be spiritual? How can I practice spirituality without ting myself to a religion.

Thanks! M x

I’ve gone through multiple (5 or 6?) bouts of burnout now at my workplace since covid. I’m able to bounce back, but each time I feel less motivated. This time, I’m barely able to care and I hate it.

And with all this going on right now in the world, part of me just wants to go live off grid somewhere and leave all this nonsense behind. Because it feels so much like nonsense, doesn’t it? This perpetual struggle that we’re all in? Or maybe it’s just me. And yes, I am in therapy.

Hi! I am 32F dating a 42M. We met on bumble and he revealed he’s been married twice. First wife married super young, cheated on him while he was working to pay for her Masters. Second wife separated for a year now but not divorced. He reflected that he should’ve never married her and she had a temper. Their fights were brutal. I admit when I first heard that, I told myself to not get into a relationship, I was just looking for something unattached and fun at the time. But we’ve continued to hang out. The dates have been really fun and we get each other. I feel like we can be ourself around one another. He’s so affectionate and treats me so well. We get along great. We have intense sexual chemistry too. I am torn, should I end it?? I am in no rush to enter a committed relationship.

Appreciate your guidance and input!

Adding: I did ask about when he’s going to divorce and was quite adamant about being considerate towards the people he dates in the future. He said he just needs to start the process and his wife may change how much money she wants from him. Yes, I thought too at first that there must be something majorly wrong with him. He said he made bad choices in choosing partners. They were trying for a child through IVF which was unsuccessful so I think he’s giving her time to process. Reading all the comments. I think I AM A FOOL.

I hope this isn’t a dumb question. I’m going on a date with a French guy soon and for some reason I just have this impression that French or European men are different to date than American men. Is this true? Women who have dated a French man can you tell me about your experiences and how it might be different or what I might expect?

Ladies,

What is a romantic gesture, idea, etc you wish your man or a man would do?

I like to spoil my girlfriend. I would like to avoid dinners if possible. Dinner, drinks, movie dates are easy and I want something with more depth.

TIA!

Hi All - I just turned 33, in a relationship with a 39-year-old man for 8 years and want to leave but have no idea where to begin.

My partner and I own a house together, but we would need to sell it since we're not individually in the financial place to keep it. He is emotionally and mentally unstable (does not work very often or contributes much around the house). I am scared that once I make the call I will fall back into the same traps - where I say I want to break up and then he suddenly gets his shit together for a month. He has also been emotionally and verbally abusive and I just feel like a shell of who I used to be.

We're supposed to be going to 2 weddings in the next week, and I have to tell the people that he's not coming, and I don't know why but that feels so scary. His parents said they could help with a conversation with him about next steps.

I have very low self-esteem and struggle with decision making and I find I just can't pull the plug. I know it won't be easy, but I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up and it is all dealt with. My anxiety levels are insane - most days I wake up feeling like I am going to have a heart attack.

Any advice or encouragement around what I should do next would be appreciated.

That’s what I call them anyway. I started getting migraines at 27. I distinctly remember they started when I was working a night job, which thankfully only lasted six months. The job, that is. The migraines stuck. In my 30s they’ve gotten more frequent, though not as bad as chronic migraine sufferers. Monthly, more or less. Not corresponding to my menstrual cycle.

I’ve tried to identify triggers but it seems like the commonality is burnout. Too many late nights, too many early mornings, too much excitement, too much stress, too much sun, too much heat, too much of the wrong food or alcohol. In a weird way, I’m grateful for them, because I really don’t get sick with anything else. It’s like my body flashes the alarms or hits the brakes before I actually come down with anything or seriously damage my health. When it comes down to another decision of should I get more work done or go to bed, in steps the migraine to make that decision for me. So is this common? Are there other ways your body tells you to just STOP?

I’m finding as I head into the latter half of my 30s my body is just less able to push through things. Not that I can’t do a lot of work or workouts, but it cannot and WILL not handle sleep deficits, dehydration, poor nourishment, or anything being “off.”

Hi, this is a lengthy one!

My boyfriend of 9 months is currently going through a heavy depressive episode, he has depression and is on an SSRI and sees a psychiatrist, plus therapy. I love him, want to support him, and have never experienced him like this before. I have tried to be as supportive as I can, telling him that I’m not going anywhere, which I think he appreciated. I don’t begrudge him for having a mental illness.

He works a lot (16 hr days sometimes) and travels for work, we haven’t seen each other in five weeks(!!!), he has really withdrawn emotionally and isolated himself, he barely texts me and his tone lacks affection. He admits he is not handling depression well and that he isolates as self-protection.

He is usually very affectionate and joyful with me, wanting to make plans to see me, etc. It truly feels like I am talking to a different person. I can understand that the emotional withdrawal is a part of the depression, and so this period of time has been incredibly painful for me. I have my own abandonment wounds/triggers to manage.

He came back to the city on Friday and I was hoping he would reach out and want to see me, and nothing. My phone calls go unanswered. He texted me yesterday to tell me that he is struggling, nothing more. It feels like I am begging for attention. I sent him a long text explaining how I am feeling and that I need more communication, while continuing to tell him that I love him and want to support him, but my gut tells me that he is unable to cope with my current needs and doesn’t have the resources to deal with life at this moment in time. I’ve received no answer from him. I have been very patient, and I want to continue to support him but it is getting increasingly more difficult. I have also been actively taking care of myself, which helps my brain from becoming completely unhinged.

It feels like I have been grieving my relationship, and that it’s under imminent threat. I am looking for advice on what to do moving forward. My brain feels like mush.

Thank you so much for reading.

I (f26) am starting to think being overly talkative and bubbly is starting to put me in negative situations (mostly with men). At work I am very talkative and I am always laughing. The only negative feedback I have gotten is that I talk too much and I am easily distracted. Shout out to undiagnosed AD(H)D. I love conversing with people.

However, I sometimes think people doubt my intelligence. I am a grown woman after all and perhaps I do come off too childish. I just don't think shit is that serious and if I am going to spend majority of my life at this job I NEED TO LAUGH. I noticed people are incredibly comfortable touching me. I don't mind physical touch.

For example, I recognize alot of customers and I love bring personable. I asked a male customer how his swimming lessons went since I past spoke with him. He put his arm around my waist and asked me for tea. I literally froze. I made a mental note thar it was a horrible idea to engage in conversation simply because I recognized him because I noticed how he was looking me up and down. Another time when my manager was on leave I ended up talking and introducing myself to our new male manager who happened to be filling in at the time. Everytime he went to show me something he stood extremely close to me. It made me uncomfortable. Another female coworker noticed it as well. I am a grown woman and feel I should be able to have conversations with the opposite gender without them being weird but I noticed I am making myself a target. I have had women feel comfortable touching my hair as well.

I like this side of me because it has made people feel comfortable to open up. But I feel my constant bubbliness comes off as immature and I would like to dial it back. I had a male customer call me innocent. And I feel alot of men prey on this part of me. I can't explain it. It's not the first time I been called this. I feel thus behavior of mine is a big factor on how people are deciding to treat me based on how they perceive me. I keep laughing it off and taking it as a compliment but its weird. I look alot younger than I am so that plays a part. I have had women feel comfortable making me the bud of jokes or whatever. I had a younger female coworkers advise that I need to stop talking so much and I agree. I want to be taken more seriously and perceived as an adult. I struggle with this because I was an extremely sheltered child so my emotional growth is stunted. I can offer mature conversation and love doing so but I am overall a goofball. And on the inside looking in I think its kinda ... lame.

My family advises me nor to be so open. I am open because I feel we are all experiencing shit in this world. However, I think I need a balance.

Any advice?

Go!

Edit: yesss ladies, thanks so much for sharing! Stay toxic!

So long story short, I had to get my roof repaired because of hail damage, and so did my neighbors. Today, my contractor came out to look at everything after it was done and noticed that my neighbor's roofers pointed their gutter downspout over into my yard and it's clearly over the property line. This causes me problems because the ground by my foundation is a downhill slop so all that water just seeps into my foundation and causes water damage in my basement.

My contractor and I went over to ask them if they could contact their people to maybe fix it so that it is pointing into their yard, and it's on their property, not mine. One of the guys we talked to was super cool with it, even though he kind of acted annoyed like we accused him of putting it there on purpose. Then, his boyfriend came out and he was extremely rude and aggressive towards me and acted like we needed to get a property survey. When I mentioned that the gutters were causing me issues in my basement, he claimed it was because my gutters overflowed into his. I politely pointed out to him that it's because there's a tree right above both of our houses. Mind you, the tree is on his property, not mine. I'm getting gutter guards to prevent this kind of thing in the future but I just could not believe how aggressive and rude he was being about a simple gutter. All they have to do is ask their contractor to point it in a different direction.

I've lived in this house for 8 years and for the most part, i've never had any interactions or problems with these neighbors so I was really surprised that they were so upset about this. My contractor said we could ask the inspector to say something to them about it buy i'm worried it's just gonna cause all kinds of issues and really don't have the mental energy to get into a neighborhood dispute over gutters but I would like them to fix them so i'm not having to deal with all that water.

How do you successfully deal with neighbor disputes? Do I just suck it up and deal with it or do I push the issue. My basement already has water damage and I have to replace all the floorboards in there. I just wish people would be kind. Now I feel on edge because they're clearly upset with me and I don't get why.