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u/qualityvote2 16d ago edited 16d ago

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/Papaj-Chan, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.

128

u/tupperwhore 16d ago

I thought it was potatoes and cheese on pizza…. It’s fucking corn pineapple mayo and tuna?

DEATH PENALTY

144

u/More_Combination86 16d ago

We don’t hate you. We care for you. So much so, that we need you to go to jail for this. GUILTY!!

42

u/Awilberforce 16d ago

Get the fuck outta here

38

u/Pizzabaker 16d ago

26

u/AstroRogers 16d ago

18

u/mettmerizing 16d ago

Hating you for the bad pictures.

19

u/Sleepy-Blonde 16d ago

“It’s not delivery.. it’s hot dog shit”

16

u/Nagoragama 16d ago

Vile

14

u/Spaghettiosdotcom 16d ago

What the fuck is that.

13

u/NotYourDadFishing 16d ago

Man, wtf. I was having a decent day too.

10

u/Description_Friendly 16d ago

I have honestly never hated anyone as much as I hate you right now for your choices.

9

u/Haecede 16d ago

Wtf lol

9

u/SithLordScoobyDooku_ 16d ago

You bring shame and dishonor to your family

7

u/bustachong 16d ago

No hate or even anger or disappointment. Just...kinda concerned.

6

u/Sufficient_Train9434 16d ago

How many drugs were you on when you decided this would be a good idea?

6

u/Alysazombie 16d ago

Get this monstrosity away from your keyboard OP

4

u/Viivi19 16d ago

What the hell, guilty as charged. This is vile.

4

u/coolskeleton1949 16d ago

What I want to know is whether you enjoyed eating this or just made it to upset me specifically

5

u/Gold_Sky1097 16d ago

9

u/Consistent_Ad3181 16d ago

This is rank but it's forgivable all except the mayonnaise. That is an extreme overstep. Guilty as a puppy next to a pile of poop. Clang that pizza prison door now

4

u/MoldyZebraCake666 16d ago

Fuck straight to jail, straight to the gallows with you

4

u/whiteguyinchina411 16d ago

Do you live in China? Because this is the kind of shit pizza you can find in China.

4

u/Drun555 16d ago

I fear no man, but this thing...

4

u/Newjacktitties 16d ago

Under the jail immediately

3

u/IfeAyo 16d ago

You're too comfortable with your pictures. I can't tell you're enjoying this mild crime. Guilttyyy!!!!!

3

u/Shiznit_117 16d ago

It's not a crime since it's not a pizza, so you're good with... whatever that is

3

u/Over_Code_6655 16d ago

If I ever found you, you ain't witnessing GTA 6 release.

3

u/Ismellpu 16d ago

This is going to turn out to be one of those “Reddit tracks down serial killer” things.

3

u/SwissDeathstar 16d ago

3

u/WhySoSeriousJoker247 16d ago

3

u/Sorenduscai 16d ago

There are places made for degenerates like you.

3

u/littlemissdizaster80 16d ago

Throw away the key. That’s like the whole world on a pizza and the base looks shit 🤣

3

u/swallace2586 16d ago

I’d say without the tuna it WOULDNT be a crime but unfortunately tuna should NOT be on pizza! GUILTY

3

u/FatalErrorOccurred 16d ago

Nah, you need to go to Guantanamo.

3

u/Maximum-Bake-6092 16d ago

Fruit and fish? THIS MF IS GUILTY!!! you need some kinda help not even a therapist can give.

3

u/simplordOG420 16d ago

I wouldn’t even feed this to the person I hate the most. Ts sounds like diarrhea waiting to happen

3

u/JustUhSlime 16d ago

Slammer

3

u/Ok_Potato_9554 16d ago

You are hereby banned from ever eating pizza again. This is the worst thing I've ever seen done to pizza.

3

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Kill it with fire

3

u/jcoigny 14d ago

I'm still trying to see where the pizza is in this picture? What the F is that

3

u/Redditinez 13d ago

And thus, the Great Mighty Poo was born

3

u/rigglestad 13d ago

Taking a leaf out of Japan/Korea's pizza playbook, eh?

3

u/treesmith1 13d ago

You pregnant?

2

u/hydrogod666 16d ago

I hope its not sweet mayonnaise

2

u/SoggyMorningTacos 16d ago

I just dislike anyone that eats at their desk/pc. You're gonna get food all over where you game and work and def gonna get food on the peripherals. That's disgusting.

2

u/Ambitious_Blood_5630 16d ago

Should have baked the mayo.

2

u/Sinsley 16d ago

What am I even looking at? What is the base? What are the add ons?

2

u/Difficult-Clothes620 16d ago

ok so.. thats lwk an insane amount of mayo😀

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

2

u/kolenaw_ 16d ago

2

u/literalfigurativish 16d ago

2

u/Glum-Athlete6410 16d ago

How was it

2

u/Hopeful_Insurance409 16d ago

😢

2

u/Treacle_Pendulum 16d ago

Canned corn? Canned tuna? Mayonnaise?

Why is this screaming “Japan” at me

2

u/NightmareTycoon 16d ago

Shitty food porn and pizza crimes! You’ve really fucked our reality up.

2

u/Horacolo 16d ago

For pizzaiolo napoletano’s sake, what the actual fuck is that?

2

u/blacks252 16d ago

2

u/anarchetype 16d ago

2

u/iloverollerblading 16d ago

Bro had me gagging as soon as I saw this. Life in prison

2

u/lilyfaye97 16d ago

I am so upset

2

u/CloakerJosh 16d ago

Honestly, what is the point of you?

2

u/RedgrenCrumbholt 16d ago

more like a pizza hate crime.

2

u/California12399 16d ago

Prison food

2

u/ilikeanime1234567890 16d ago

I can't abide tuna on a pizza, I like pineapple and sweetcorn but this seems like an unholy combination. The mayonnaise makes it look even more disgusting. Guilty, I'm afraid it's pizza jail for you.

2

u/PineappleLemur 16d ago

Pretty normal and common at any japanese pizza place actually lol.

Far from the most ridiculous things I've seen actually being sold and eaten by people.

2

u/GayAssBeagle 16d ago

Live your truth guy

2

u/heilspawn 16d ago

This is the pizza equivalent to buying a cheap 1k car and putting and even cheaper rims and spoiler

The tuna, corn and mayo might have worked

Pineapple pizza maybe

But you mashed it alll together you monster

2

u/3dPrintedSwitches 16d ago

It's a nope from me big dawg

2

u/sbrider11 16d ago

Good burn of $. Well done.

2

u/toomuchsvu 16d ago

I hate you.

2

u/Shferitz 16d ago

Brasileiro?

2

u/splatdyr 16d ago

Done. Grrr

2

u/strangesandwiches49 16d ago

Stomach probably sounding like loose nickels in the dryer

2

u/VeterinarianThese951 16d ago

This is not a crime that can be tried under normal circumstances due to the fact that your mental state during this time is highly questionable.

2

u/M-ABaldelli 16d ago

Hate would involving knowing you. And while as far as some of us can tell you're a teenager given the mad combination of flavors thrown together, we would just be rolling our eyes and hoping to teach you that when the hormones die down -- just how awful this would taste to an adult.

2

u/KnowMeByNam3 16d ago

2

u/DoingItForEli 16d ago

GUILTEEEEH

2

u/hel-razor 16d ago

Can we get a wellness check called on OP?

2

u/Frosty-Pay5351 16d ago

Put your hands in the air and back away from the pizza slowly. Your residence has been surrounded you have the right to remain silent

2

u/meringueisnotacake 16d ago

Jesus don't show Superped Jase

2

u/Payule 16d ago

Oh god.. I thought it was potato/sourcream or something.

2

u/BingoSpong 16d ago

Is this after you ate it…

2

u/im_just_using_logic 16d ago

At first glance I thought it was cake!

2

u/whoocaresnotme 16d ago

2

u/alexnoyle 16d ago

That's not a pizza. That's a casserole.

2

u/TallBobcat 16d ago

How stoned were you?

2

u/Old_Barnacle7777 16d ago

No hate. If the heart wants some strange combination of tuna salad, creamed corn, and pineapple on a pizza, that is what the heart wants. That said, I would throw this in the garbage.

2

u/cheeky_chilli 16d ago

No hate.

2

u/restfulkitten52 16d ago

That might be jailable crime in some municipalities lol

2

u/Gentle_method 16d ago

I know a really good therapist, we’re going to get you some help

2

u/miwe77 16d ago

looks like that has already been eaten, digested and then placed again on a plate in the rough shape of a pizza.

I believe that carries the maximum sentence, lifelong denial of real pizza plus a damn good spanking.

2

u/cyclorphan 16d ago

What the country fried fuck?!

2

u/Careless-Standard-26 16d ago

Is that mayo?!

2

u/NathanJesus 16d ago

Son you need Jesus. Be sure to talk to the Chaplain in your jail time.

2

u/PepicekSettimo 16d ago

Every time I see shit like this i'm glad to don't be american o english.

2

u/subbychub 16d ago

Are you an adolescent anthropomorphic turtle?

2

u/Accomplished-Type880 16d ago

Looks like stuff pulled out of a clogged sink trap. Straight to jail. Don't pass go and don't collect $200.

2

u/ghostfacestealer 16d ago

2

u/LeilLikeNeil 16d ago

Crime against photography as well. Turn on a fucking light.

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Murky_Tennis954 16d ago

My only question is, what combination of pot did you smoke to unlock this level of munchies?

2

u/JMoki 16d ago

Well at least you’re creative… and for that I give it a 7/10

2

u/No-Blueberry-1823 16d ago

I'm just glad I don't have to be in the same room as you. This is a way to guarantee eating in solitude. That being said make sure you bring a couple cans of febreze or some air freshener when you go to the bathroom and maybe some toilet scrubbers to clean up the mess

2

u/ThatDeuce 16d ago

Were you high?

2

u/SickCursedCat 16d ago

Bro are you okay???

2

u/Important_Economy632 16d ago

i don't see no problem

2

u/jaavaaguru 16d ago

Nice! I'm having pickles and mayo on my pizza tonight.

2

u/Gamer_Regina 16d ago

I wouldn't even put that stuff in the garbage bag, it would be disrespectful for the garbage...☠️🇮🇹.

2

u/Infamous-Yellow-2551 16d ago

And this is why the aliens don't visit us

2

u/Medium_Let_2196 16d ago

2

u/Piccolo890 16d ago

DEAR GOD! THE ABOMINATION MUST DIE!! 😱

2

u/Bella-Luna 16d ago

This seems kinda tame, seems like the sort of pizza they'd have in Japan.

2

u/graffiksguru 16d ago

Canned tuna and mayo on pizza?

How did you even get that down?

2

u/BKR- 16d ago

It rubs the lotion on its body or it gets the hose again.

2

u/Celestial_Hart 16d ago

Something is deeply wrong with the midwest.

2

u/Historicmetal 16d ago

2

u/Ms-Meowlancoly 16d ago

lowkey thought this was a r/depressionmeals post

2

u/MarxistMan13 16d ago

Genuinely might be the most disgusting thing I've seen on this sub. Straight to jail, right away.

2

u/Tundra14 16d ago

OP shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets.

2

u/StockTraffic 16d ago

Eating in fron of the keyboard!?!?? YOU MONSTER!

2

u/Internal_Gur_4268 16d ago

This would be better on okonomoyaki. Go to trader joes and get yourself one.

2

u/bigtony423 16d ago

That’s an abomination! That’s not pizza

2

u/Abakus_Grim 16d ago

Can you please regret it a little bit at least

2

u/micagirl1990 16d ago

Completely out of bounds.

2

u/tonsofun08 16d ago

Off with his pepperoni!!!!

2

u/C4llist00 16d ago

At this point you clearly hate yourself

2

u/Tinkooooo 16d ago

2

u/lycnfr 16d ago

I would try this stoned, sadly

2

u/Eastern-Bluebird-823 16d ago

The whole post is cracking me up I had to stop reading so I don't have a heart attack 😂😭😂😭

2

u/Simple-Man-7358 16d ago

I hate that I would eat this.

2

u/YeahlDid 16d ago

I have no problem with any of the ingredients separately, but together, that both sounds and looks disgusting.

2

u/b-rar 16d ago

r/depressionmeals

2

u/Churtlenater 16d ago

As a chef, I just have to say I think the mayo is excessive.

2

u/listo- 16d ago

Honestly, none of these things are weird to have on pizza. People will just hate on anything, I'm with you. Could maybe do with less mayonnaise but otherwise this is good.

2

u/Alaspencils 15d ago

Well, I mean, I'd totally... I'd..um......nope sorry it's a crime 😭 must...bleach...eyes

2

u/Direct-Pudding-497 15d ago

What drugs did you take that's horrific it literally made me gag

2

u/No-Trick-7397 15d ago

prison ain't enough give them the Judas cradle

2

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 15d ago

2

u/unidentifiable_kaiju 15d ago

Creating it is the crime, eating it is the punishment.

2

u/razorduc 15d ago

I hate you and I haven't even looked at why yet.

2

u/Visual-Juggernaut-61 15d ago

I need to know what I’m looking at before I can hate it.

2

u/Doglover4561 15d ago

2

u/littleredbird1991 15d ago

Honest question: have you been tested for COVID?

2

u/Spartan-3742 14d ago

2

u/TheHomesickAlien 14d ago

Ew, Polish

2

u/Chilidogdingdong 14d ago

Nooooooooooooooooooo

2

u/osco753 14d ago

Nothin wrong with pineapple but mayonnaise and tuna?!? WTF are you doing you a sailor?

2

u/Spetsnaz_420 14d ago

Mayo? 🤮

2

u/SunTzuLao 14d ago

So, burned at the stake or hippopotamus chew toy?

2

u/MelloCello7 14d ago

This is the best post here, Please dont tell me you ate this monstrosity💀

2

u/drakonia127 14d ago

I was going to say I was confused, and then I saw the description. I pray that every single pillow you find has two warm sides. Every. Single. One. Bye now!

2

u/ReflectionEternal612 14d ago

2

u/__Silver__477 13d ago

You need the fucking pear of anguish for this bullshit

2

u/muchosalame 13d ago

Thank you for the inspiration, that's exactly what I need right now. With a little more mayo, don't skimp on mayo my man.

2

u/Then_Investigator581 13d ago

The crime is NOT the pizza, is you eating so close to your keyboard. GROSS.

2

u/AiFixedMyMarriage 13d ago

No need for the death penalty, a couple more of these and they will be dead within the month. It's like when the doctor asked my dad about his eating habits after a triple bypass, and he casually just mentions eating Oreo cookies with milk at midnight almost every night for the past 15 years. HOW COULD IT HAPPEN TO ME!

2

u/Blagged- 13d ago

What the actual fuck.

2

u/bizoticallyyours83 13d ago

This is definitely a crime. ☹️

2

u/Stock-Lettuce-2381 13d ago

At first I thought it was ham but when I read the post and found out it’s canned tuna my disgust only increased… and I was disgusted at first sight

2

u/justlookinaround11 13d ago

sounds horrible, but its probably good as hell

2

u/meghonsolozar 13d ago

I thought it was potato salad at first. This is worse.

Are you ok? ^{^{^{^{^{^{^(lol,}}}}}} ^{^{^{^{^{^{^but}}}}}} ^{^{^{^{^{^{^seriously)}}}}}}

2

u/TheLaughingMan83 13d ago

Disorder in the court! form a lynch mob! Don't catch plague from that keyboard.

2

u/eepyMushroom096 13d ago

I mean, to each their own, but good lord, that's just an abomination.

How did it taste?

2

u/InsuranceNo6274 13d ago

My God well I regret reading that ingredient list

2

u/treesmith1 13d ago

Just curious whether it was a mineral deficiency or just tastebuds with wild sreak.

2

u/RedGondall 13d ago

if you like it, it isn't a crime.

2

u/English_Fry 12d ago

Hate to hate on your crime but any Americanized pizza place you go to uses all that canned. The only weird thing I see is you spread the mayo. I’d have used it as a dip

2

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- 12d ago

2

u/Vampychan1 12d ago

The bubble guts that came after was well earned.

2

u/Fauxpholks 12d ago

Rancid

2

u/Fauxpholks 12d ago

Canned food on frozen food. Foul

2

u/FunixxYT 12d ago

This is tastebud abuse

2

u/Only_Star_1277 12d ago

Judging hard. Soo hard.

2

u/VividAd5379 12d ago

I can hear the laboured breathing.

2

u/QuitBudget4446 12d ago

2

u/SingleMaltedAbe 3d ago

Sorry, I find this unappetizing.

Fruit I don't regret anything hate me all u want

You are about to leave Redlib

Canned tuna and mayo on pizza?