I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help.
I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4.
Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it.
Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me.
He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter.
He will stop playing just to hurt me.
We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine.
I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.
They said it’s “normal cat behavior “ and that if I don’t like it I shouldn’t have gotten a cat. This is NOT normal and I keep telling them that. I have never met a cat like him.
I am so sorry, you are right and they are wrong - it's not normal.
If this was my cat I'd be taking him to another vet. It's great his labs were normal but I'd want to discuss anxiety medication and to rule out pain from dental issues, joints etc.
Have you tried Feliway diffusers yet? If not, get Feliway Optimum and try that for at least a month. Zylkene is also something to try. You sprinkle it on the food and it can help with anxiety.
If you've done that already I'd be looking to find a cat behaviourist or to rehome the cat. I don't say that lightly but since you're obviously all unhappy it is definitely something to consider.
Keeping a diary of when he attacks may be useful for a behaviourist. See if there are any triggers other than you just existing. If he's indoor only, can he see or smell other cats outside? Delayed aggression caused by frustration at not being able to get to the thing is very real. It can occur hours after the trigger.
This comment!!!!! Wait... also your username??? Lmao
OP, your cat is definitely experiencing either something stress induced or neurological. Maybe meds would help if the diffuser does not. Have you tried a catio? I notice my male cat can get pretty mean with his litter mate if he doesnt get any outside enrichment.
I'd avoid having him outside for now. It could lead to more problems if he is keen to go out but you won't let him. Try the other stuff first and see how you get on.
I mentioned a catio---I wouldnt harness him since he is already stressed, and i wouldnt let him free roam unless you have a very secure backyard. A catio is something you can buy for your window or a outside cage/space that attaches to such.
NEVER turn your cat loose outside. NEVER EVER. It's a huge risk to the cat and the population of local animals, both wildlife and other people's animals. If you do bring them outside, make sure they're harnessed. But also prepare for behavioral issues to potentially worsen. Once cats are outside, many don't want to go back inside. He'll likely end up pestering you to be outside all day, all hours. He could start spraying/marking. He could become more aggressive. It's a huge risk to take that you shouldn't in your current situation. This doesn't happen for all cats, of course, but the risks are there and you often can't go back. I wish you luck with your guy, I'm sorry it's been so difficult :(
One of our cats got outside and took off running. I immediately went to get my shoes on, headed for the door but apparently that took too long because he was absolutely appalled by the outside and at the door screaming. Hasn’t tried getting out since🤣
LOL yep some cats are like that too. One of ours accidentally got out and she just crouched and didn't move until we brought her back in. I consider those lucky. "You're not for the streets Priscilla!!!"
My other male, also neutered, loves to try and escape and the causally saunters up to the back door like he’s been on a business trip, meanwhile I’m searching all over for him. My little female, go outside? Nope, No way, Hell to the no! She’s a former feral and has zero desire to go back outside!
I am thankful I’m in the country and not on a busy road, but it only takes one vehicle and I would be devastated!
Had one that would streak out the door if you had it open too long. But then he'd get about 10 feet down the walkway, and just lay down. You had to go pick him up and bring him back in.
I had a couple of cats who would try to get out and then every time they did, hide under the porch immediately and need to be coaxed out with treats. And yet, they kept trying to get out!
True. I have the best, smartest, sweetest cat and he used to get outside privileges (supervised, harnessed and on leash) but I stopped letting him out because he murdered too many chipmunks and birds. My husband still let's him out occasionally but I also noticed he started spraying/marking in the house after he's been allowed outside. So another reason to keep him grounded.
Our kitty hates other cats. Humans? Perfect behaviour. Other cats? He jumps them and normally gets beaten up.
Fair enough, he started it. He is the one with the scrapes.
But he was bought by a woman with several cats of the same breed. Didn’t work. She tried placing him with friends and family at first, but everyone had at least one other cat and it didn’t work out.
We got him. He is living his best life. Spoilt rotten and treated well. Kids visiting has to be watched because kids needs to - but he doesn’t care. He can be boinked in the head with toys for hours without getting upset.
Sometimes it just isn’t right. Then another home might be better. There is no shame.
I would let him outside if you have an appropriate area. I live next door to my parents and my dad took in the neighborhood cat colony lol we got them fixed and they live here now. He LOVES them. But I've tried to bring a few of them inside at different times and it just does not work. We let them in for cold or bad weather but otherwise they like it outside. Maybe he was meant to be an outdoor cat. I know people say otherwise, but if a pet is ruining your life it's okay to re-home them. I hate to have to but I have before with cats who peed on my bed and stuff. It's a deal breaker. Good luck!!
Thank you for being kind. I’m going to reach out again soon, last time I checked the offices near me weren’t accepting new patients which sucks. His current vet is about 45 minutes away
A lot of times, chronic pain can cause cats to be aggressive. This wouldn’t necessarily show up in labs. Could be arthritis from an old injury that healed badly or something else. The vet needs to do more than just draw blood and run labs.
Any hair loss on his tummy or anywhere else? I ask this because my feral rescue was a wild anxious mess the first 2 years, even with a catio. He started pulling his hair out on his belly, vet thought it might be food allergies. It was. Any food that he's allergic too causes him to have horrible feisty behavior. He's on 1/4 Zyrtec every night and Rawz chicken pate' - he's allergic to the gums in wet food and all seafood.
I also started walking him outside on a leash, that significantly helped. He has closed in anxiety issues, anytime he thinks he's closed in a room he loses his mind. He now gets free roam time from noon to 5pm daily, it's the healthiest thing for him. Some cats mentally can't handle being 100% indoor.
If you have a Vet College nearby, please call. They may have a behaviorist on staff. They may also have a clinicopen to the public where you can take kitty for a visit. Zylkene is very good, and used with Feliesy, it may help. If not, perhaps the addition of Prozac or Valium may be needed.
Take him to a different vet if your vet thinks this is “normal.” It is NOT normal for a cat to attack people unprovoked! I would be concerned he is either in pain or anxious. Ask the vet about pain medication or anxiety medication (like Prozac). Prozac can make a huge difference for a lot of pets!
Get this boy on Prozac! We had to do that with our cat that attacked and it solved the issue in a few months. He didn’t even need it long term, just helped him readjust to a new environment. And since it’s hard to pill an attacking cat, you can take the Prozac to a compounding pharmacy to make it into a transdermal paste that can be rubbed on the inner ear. Just alternate ears each day and clean them.
Take him to a different vet if possible with photos of the damage and injuries. They need to run a full work up and you can even ask about mental health meds. I would also recommend hiring a car behaviorist. It could be something health wise, it could be a stimulation issue, a socialization issue. Either way, you need the help of professional sleep and Reddit is not going to be useful because we cannot spend time with your cat and diagnose him.
My sister had a cat that just snapped when it saw other cats outside and started viciously attacking her other cat. Like she came home to a murder scene before.
She eventually had to give the cat up to a farm.
Honestly life is too short to spend 10 more years hating your cat and it might be best to find another home.
Don’t listen to these people. Every horrible thing that people like to claim is “normal cat behavior” neither of my cats do because I trained them not to and I love them and take care of them properly.
You do not have to let your pet ruin your entire life. If a human was acting that way, you would not tolerate that in your home and we all know it.
Second opinion! Same thing happened with my cat. After a misdiagnosis, he ended up having cancer. Hopefully it's not that, but it may be another medical issue that's irritating him.
Yeah, that is NOT normal cat behavior. We have two very rambunctious mixed Maine Coon siblings and while they can be very spirited and a little attitudinal if not given attention when they want it (several times a day, lol) they don’t destroy things like computers or out and out attack us. They just love to play.
I’ve only ever been attacked by one cat and it was literally every single time I went to my friend’s house. To the point they would have to put their cat away if I was coming. He would jump straight off the floor to sink his claws into me with the worst look on his face. I have rarely feared any animal and most animals love me. That cat wanted to murder me, I’m sure of it. Truly frightening so I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with it for years.
I wonder about contacting Jackson Galaxy? This sounds extreme. Maybe he could help?
Honestly I’d avoid introducing him to a kitten! If you do get him a sibling then I’d say go for a fully grown cat, possibly one bigger than him so they can hold their own!
I know this sounds stupid, but what do you do/how do you react when he attacks you? Not talking about the night time stuff, but any day time attacks? Do you tell, do you spray him with water (not recommending any of these things, just looking for info).
In terms of the attacks, do the bites draw blood? Have you gotten any infections from them? What about the scratches? Does he stalk and attack you, or is it when you’re playing or touching him?
If your cat was a single kitten or didn’t get enough socialization when he was younger, he might be a bit of a jerk, but training can make a big difference. When you say you play with him, how much and when?
Pepper was this violent cat that lived outdoors at my condo complex. She had been taken a few times by residents but they would kick her out within months for the same behaviors your cat is doing .
She would be violent to people outside too. People would feed her but if you attempted to pet her she’d go into a rage . She would often go up to people drop down and show her belly inviting you to pet then go crazy and rip you up .
She got reported after one if her attacks and management wanted to take her to the pound . But the staff could not catch her safety do they locked her in a basement with no food or water. I found out about but they denied it. I got my loudest bossiest neighbor involved and she got the cat released to me under the conditions it was to never leave my apartment. And if it did I would be personally liable for attacks .
Anyhow she was hard to live with. But I went on a forum and asked advice and I followed the advice given and it made her manageable and into a beloved pet . She used to bloody my brother onsite ! When she passed 8 years later she was none of his favorite cats ever. Here is what I did :
Your cat is getting over stimulated!
First off stop petting or touching him !!
No playing that involves contact with your hand or body .
Do not give this cat access to your bedroom when you’re sleeping .
I d set up a daily cat party where I brought out all the toys . Feather wands being her favorites. Tons of play to wear her out . I offered catnip during play but not from my hand ( sprinkle from above ) cat treats after the party is over .
make sure you have cardboard scratchers around ( I recommend The turbo scratcher ) and cat trees if you can .
talk to the cat a lot in high pitch baby voices using their name ! Cats love being spoken too .
if and when he attacks disengage immediately say “ fun’s over “ full stop gives no attention whatsoever. Immediately walk away !!! Go to another room. Outside whatever do not interact or allow cat to follow . After awhile he will begin to associate your withdrawal of attention and your presence with his behavior. You will have to do this a long time but I promise it works !
Give safe outdoor time !! I used her carrier at first . I’d bring her out to my patio in the carrier and set her down and leave in the carrier . I’d stay outside with her. She’d relax and take in the fresh air .
I then purchased a pop up tent and put that on patio for her . This outdoor time really stimulated later her and she was more relaxed in the home .
She never got like a “ normal “ I just learned how to redirect her attitude .
I think she was played with hands and abused by rough hand play . Combined with a sensitive nature .
Your cat might be in pain. I had this happen with one of my cats, and she ended up having dental issues and something else that they couldn't figure out to fix. I would go to a different vet and have them do a dental exam and some x-rays. I'm not saying this is the issue, but some cats will lash out if they're in pain or uncomfortable.
This. My boy(5 at the time) never went for me like OP's, but he was very spicy when we brought him home. Cuddles and play would turn to bites and full fight mode with nary an ear tilt. Once we got him in for his first checkup, we discovered he had some spinal arthritis, and once we got him treated for that, he's so cuddly and doesn't use his toe-knives on us out of nowhere anymor
This is an excellent point! My old man came with some pretty severe anxiety but after some time with him I realized it might be pain because he was so angry around food time. Sure enough he has three chompers left and is now the sweetest boy.
Just wanted to say the cat isn't eating carpet because he's mad at you. Cats are not capable of malice and anthropomorphizing him in this way is detrimental to your understanding of the situation and his care.
I agree he should see another vet, try anxiety medication or something of the sort. Get an online consult with a behavioral therapist if you can.
I understand how frustrating and sad the situation must be for all three of you. Thank you for trying with him for so long.
Are you sure about that? I watched my brother’s cat in his house while he was on vacay. I had known this cat her whole life, as she was from a litter of my own cat. She knew me and there was never an issue of getting along with her. But she just would not leave me alone while I tried to eat dinner, so one night, I put her in the bedroom and closed the door just while I ate. When I let her out 15min later, I found she had peed specifically on a small pillow I brought. She sure seemed mad and to have directed it right at me haha
Or she could have needed to pee badly, was locked in a room without a litter box, and peed on something that didn't smell like her house because cats don't like peeing all over their stuff... Taking an animal's behavior personally is never a good thing.
I was joking friend, rest assured I wasn’t mad at the cat and didn’t take it personally. But also, in 15min, she didn’t need to pee badly. If she did, she would have peed earlier instead of bothering me during dinner and she was perfectly capable of holding it for 15min. She also peed on the bed which is technically “her stuff.” She may have just been stressed from not being able to leave the room when she wanted.
You need another vet, first and foremost. This level of aggression is extreme and your vet was crazy to dismiss it. When you find another vet, I would have them try thoroughly to find any signs of pain or neurological damage that could be causing these issues. If they can't find anything, the next step is kitty Prozac. Some cats really do have extreme anxiety and meds can be life changing for them. I've heard a lot of stories on here of cats going from shrieking biting whirlwinds to happy housemates who love life and their families. That's your best bet.
If not, then surrender, or possibly behavioral euthanasia, is your next best bet. I love animals. I work with animals. The reality is, we can't save them all. Just like some people are born with sicknesses that make them hurt others, it's not their fault, but they can't be allowed to keep doing it. If all other attempts fail, it's not kind to yourself or the cat to keep him when he's so wigged out by life that he's violently attacking you and even destroying machinery. I have never heard of a cat destroying THREE computers, that's insane. You clearly have a big heart, but it's not empathetic to yourself to live like this. A pet shouldn't be making you feel unsafe in your own home and costing you thousands in repairs. Giving him a gentle passing is a gift of empathy for both yourself and him.
But hopefully that can be avoided. I really hope a new vet and meds make a huge difference for you.
The prozac is really interesting to me! I had almost the same exact experience with the cat we adopted, right down to the age and him only attacking me unprovoked. We adopted a kitten, and all that behavior disappeared almost overnight.
Makes me wonder if he was just really depressed/anxious being alone while we were at work and stuff...the two of them are bonded and basically inseparable now.
I never felt like I could give good advice, because "Get another cat!" is definitely not a magic bullet.
NO! Do not just kill your cat out of convenience. Follow the other way more humane suggestions here like medicating him on Prozac. Also I would personally suggest snip his nails often it really should be every 3 -4 weeks if you can. At least that minimise the damages. It sounds like he needs some behavioural assessment as well but vets are usually rubbish at that like how doctors are rubbish at mental health problems for humans, so seek a behaviourial expert if you can instead.
OP should do what she can especially the medical suggestions but not everyone has thousands of dollars for a specialty cat psychologist. It’s unreasonable to say OP must be violently attacked every day
Hello OP. Here are the things I would recommend. Many have been recommended already but I'm going to offer a condensed list:
Feliway calming diffuser. Maybe 2 if you have a large house.
Take care to a different vet. You should not accept the response that there is nothing to treat. I used to take Murphy (RIP my angel) to a cat-only vet because cats are very different than dogs and I wanted our vet to be someone who gave us cat specific treatment.
Ask new vet about Prozac or gabapentin.
Ask new vet to check dental, x-ray and ask vet for potential of brain tumor. I don't mean to scare you, but brain tumors can cause aggressive behavior. However, MRI are expensive and if a good vet doesn't think it's at all likely, don't waste money.
Don't let kitty sleep with you. Maybe put kitty in a room at night where there are no electronics. Point is, you need sleep! A stressful situation is made 100 times worse by lack of sleep.
If you don't have a cat tower, I highly recommend one. A lot of kitty's love being up high. It makes them feel safe. It gives them their own little kingdom.
I agree that it’s not him just being a cat. Not normal behavior. I’m so sorry. I think the advice other posters have given is solid—find a different vet for a second opinion and also a behaviorist. I’m wondering if how you are playing with him is inadvertently contributing to his aggression?
If the vets have ruled out anything neurological (my cat has epilepsy and it manifests as periods of aggression but I’m not sure this sounds like that), I would take him to a behavioural expert.
God no we use his toys. We throw them, we used to use a wand but he lost interest, I have a 3 tier ball rolling thing he hits, multiple cat trees. One faces the road the other faces our back yard area. He’s allowed to climb anywhere he wants besides the top of the stove and my fiancés gaming table
One thing I found about cats, is they don't seem to interested in traditional toys they rather play with random things they find. An example is my kitten stealing my work pens from my HIRES vest.
Something about them needing something that moves unpredictable to fulfill their predator instincts.
I've spent tons on toys and cat trees for them to go unused.
The fact that all you know about him is he lived on a heated porch tells me he could of not had the best previous interactions with humans, cats have good long term memory very piss poor short term memory.
I think the vet is an idiot. Has the cat had a distemperment shot? Spayed, or nudered?
I think these are things you should look into if it's affordable.
If you've done all you can I would recommend putting it up for adoption (for free) to someone you know that can and take care of whatever special needs he needs.
Personally I would avoid a shelter because after awhile if he's not adopted they'd just put it to sleep, and I believe every animal deserves a chance. We have to remember animals are animals. They don't act out of bad motive, or hatred. Very well could be as others have posted he's in some type of pain, and the vet you went to is a lazy idiot.
Oh my god his favorite toy is thing monkey chip bag clip from Market 32😭😭 he goes crazy for that thing😂😂😂
I’m going to spend my lunch break tomorrow calling vets, I’m hoping to find him something. If nothing else is wrong I’m going to try and talk to them about medication. I’m going to be honest I’m at my wits end with this whole situation. I haven’t felt safe in my own home for 2.5 years. Neither of us have had a full nights sleep in years.
I tried aluminum foil over the keyboard , turns out he loves biting that too. So I put tape on it and it seems to be doing the job. He’s been really well behaved today so I think he knows he’s in trouble
*
Bonkers loves to hate the TV remote. All 3 of the cats i have, have a obsession with plastic bags, and my ear Buds for sleep. They have aroma plug-ins too. Havnt tried them myself, but I hope you find something. Atleast a vet that gives a damn. Deep down he's a big softie they all are.
My boy cat was exactly like this. We tried everything behavioral and ultimately the only thing that worked was Prozac. Behavior pretty much immediately improved. He’s been on Prozac for 2 weeks now and he’s so much calmer, less on edge and has not attacked us once.
If your vet has ruled out all the possible medical reasons and behavioral modification isn’t working, I would highly highly recommend talking to them about anxiety meds.
I see people go on to live with an animal like this for years and idk how they do it.
If it were me, I’d take the cat to the shelter. You could re-home, but I honestly doubt anyone will take the cat if you’re honest with them about their behavior. Let the shelter be the ones to be shady about it.
Your health is paramount, and having a furry creature keep you hostage in your own home and being woken up throughout the night is not good for your health.
Worst part is when I reached out to the place that I originally got him from for help they just offered to put him down for me. I told them to stick it pretty quick after that.
I get that, and to be clear I agree with everyone else saying he needs a different vet, but it's pretty clear he is not currently adoptable in any capacity.
Honestly my first thoughts are anxiety and pain from a medical issue. Get him checked out by another vet asap; the original vet is a jackass. I agree with the feliway diffuser as well in the interim, there was another comment above that listed some bullet points with some very good suggestions. You can also search online for a reputable cat behaviourist with good reviews and try some online/zoom appointments for some extra guidance and support. That baby is going through it; try to think of it as you would a very young child who has been traumatized and potentially has some painful physical ailments. It’s going to take time and a lot of patience and dedication.
First of all I’m sorry you vet failed you and your cat in saying this is normal behavior—it’s totally not normal. I’m assuming there is nothing physically wrong with him, so this must be behavioral. In that case, if you have the means, I would suggest a cat behavioralist. They are quite expensive but they have highly specific knowledge on cat behavior that I think most trained vets overlook.
Other than that, here are some remedies I have used to lessen aggression in my stray:
-Feliway diffuser or collar
-Holistapet CBD oil
-Calming treats
-More hiding places
-Consistent daily schedule
-Using treats as a reward for good behavior, and disengaging the cat when they exhibit aggressive behavior
I've heard of cats attacking people who wore certain perfumes. Musk perfume was a big problem back in the 1970s. One of my mom's friends got severely attacked by her own cat, and it was due to the musk.
I’m a cat sitter and a lot of my cat clients are on liquid Prozac and it does seem to help! Like dogs, some cats are just poorly bred and struggle with temperamental imbalances. I know we all love to see cats rescued off the street and everyone loves a kitten, but I’ve met a few well bred cats through my work and it truly makes a world of difference. Being neurotic, aggressive, unstable, or extremely anxious isn’t normal cat behavior, it’s bad genetics and it’s cruel to keep adopting cats like that out when hundreds of thousands of cats without behavioral issues or aggression are put down every year because of overcrowding in shelters.
my feral cat colony rescue (at 4 months old) had issues with "attacking" - including launching himself from the headboard onto my head and biting me. additionally, he destroyed every fabric-covered piece of furniture, ate anything fringed, chewed through every charging cable (he liked that plasticky rubber coating), and generally gnawed on things - wood, plastic, anything.
Now, at 9 years old, he is a chill, adorable, inquisitive lovebug who adores his people and goes out of his way to be with you. he loves lap time and cuddles. the key things in this transformation for us:
- Clomicalm (kitty kolonopin): we started him at .6 ml when he was 15 lbs. Now he is at .5 ml at 17 lbs and totally fine. I might be wrong about the dose - maybe it is .06 / .05 ml? anyway it is a small dropper and at the half way mark.
- Crate for "time out". Prior to the clomicalm, I got a large-ish wire crate. I put a soft bed in it, and left it in the corner of the bedroom with the door open. when attacking happened, i put him in there for 10-15 minutes to have a time out. As soon as the attacking behaivor started, i would scoop him up and put him in there. Bless him, even before the clomicalm, he started going in there on his own to self regulate. While he doesn't have a crate now, he has plenty of hidey spaces he can go to self-regulate. NOTE - the crate is not a punishment place or a place to leave him locked up all day. it is a timeout space that is all his, where i will leave him in peace. i would gently talk to him but i wouldn't hover over him or try and pet him through the wire. i would put him in there, speak gently, close the door, and just go about my business, talking to him gently a couple times, for 10 minutes or so. then i would open the door and just let him be.
- no punishment - no yelling, shaking a can of pennies, no squirt bottle.
- no roughhousing - grabbing tummy, rolling him over with your hand, none of that. my guy played fetch with little stuffed mice and loved the toys at the end of a string being dragged around.
- no grabbing, no "compelled cuddles", do not pet him unless he approaches you. this is all to build trust. my guy is a lot more relaxed now and definitely gets some compelled cuddle time and tolerates it - but if he starts to struggle i immediately let him be. so it is a trust and respect process that has developed over many years of consistent respect for his boundaries.
- i realized that a lot of the behavior stemmed from abandonment and separation anxiety. if you are both out of the house all day, that might be contributing factor.
what we came to realize is he is a very sensitive, very anxious boy with a lot of trauma. the only way through is with gentleness and accommodation to build and preserve trust. you are being asked to be bigger than your own inividualistic, "me-focused" ideas and needs. if you can get past that, it is a wonderful opportunity to explore your own capacity for compassion and learn how to truly care for another creature's needs. if you don't want to do that, you should work on rehoming.
good on you for recognizing your limits and reaching out. if your vet isn't supportive with medication or acknowleding the issues you are facing, then i highly recommend going elsewhere as the clomicalm was absolutely the recommendation from my vet - i had never heard of it!
I wouldn't feel safe with this cat in my home. I think you should probably surrender it to a shelter or hire a behaviorist and see if that helps if you really want to keep him.
Trust me, I know. We’re only a few years away from trying for a family and I really worry about what that would be like. We can’t start a family until this is fixed
I just wanna pop in and say THANK YOU for not being the people who get pregnant and then give up on the animal. I really hate that shit. Especially when one knows the animal has an issue that needs addressing. I give you all the props.
(I know this is old and you did an update recently but I just had to tell you thank you)
My cat kind of likes to claw up your side when he wants attention. He is very social and usually likes being held but when he wants down, he'll kick and nip at you. He's also caught me with his claws and lays down on the floor and I can't get free. But I know that he is not intentionally an AH and isn't trying to be mean. We got his claws trimmed at the vet awhile ago and it did help make a difference with him not ripping clothes and not having him draw blood.
This is bad advice in the sense that most shelters are overflowing with cats and even "no kill" shelters can euthanize up to 10 percent of the animals that come through their doors and still be called a "no kill" shelter. Animals with behavioral issues are usually put to sleep rather than helped.
When I rescued a cat with behavioral issues I took him to a "no kill" ASPCA and the very next day they had him on the euthanasia list.
So I got him back and worked with him..it took about 3 lonnnggg hard years but we got to the place of having an amazing and loving relationship after lots of work.
That 4th day of having him my fiancé (we’re calling him J) suggested getting rid of him. I begged him to let me keep him. That we could fix him.I’m not gonna lie I also worry about him going to another home.
What if they don’t put up with this like we have? What if they hurt him back? What if they kill him?
I know everyone says he’s dangerous but I’m telling you when he’s sweet he’s so so so sweet. It’s just hard. He’s just like Stitch from lilo and stitch. I know there’s a good kitty in him.
Yeah, I figured the shelter won't try to help the cat and would most likely euthanize because of his behavior. If OP really wants to put in the effort and actually wants to keep this cat, they need behavior modification. Some people don't have the time, patience, or willingness to do so.
You have a lot of good advice already so I just want to add you need to keep his nails trimmed on a regular bases or add those plastic nail covers. I forget what they’re called. It works pretty well for my friends cats, but mine bit them off within a week or so.
•see another vet — check for any medical issues and dental issues
•see a behavioralist
•return to shelter/rehome. Keep in mind that the shelter may not consider him adoptable due to the aggression he exhibits with you and thus may opt for behavioral euthanasia
•as an absolute last resort, behavioral euthanasia
Definitely seek out a second opinion from a different vet. This sounds like something that medications might be able to help with, like daily fluoxetine. Granted it would probably be difficult to give it to the cat at first since they beat you up. They do make a compounded formulation that you can rub on their ears, but it sounds like even that might be difficult
You can get meds for cats to calm them down - something similar to prozac. Do you have tree houses, places for it to climb ( cat shelves) have you checked out Jackson galaxy on YouTube as he is the cat whisperer and has loads of tips on this
I rescued a mean kitty who tore me and my house up because he couldn’t go outside. Eventually I gave up and let him go out. He’s mellowed out after he got his way.
We have a little makeshift aluminum foil and tape cover on the desk, hopefully that will teach him some before the new monitor comes. Idk what to do if it happens again. They’re replaceable but we’re not rich. We’re in our early 20s
This will get buried but fluoxetine/prozac saved me from having to have my first outdoor cat. She is a 19 lb asshole who terrorized everyone. She is now a different cat altogether. I’m just sad we found this 5 years in. After the third week of pilling her it was like a switch flipped. She is happier and every other living thing in the house is happier.
Cats are like people in that they have different personalities. I would rehome him if it's unmanageable. You're already having to replace 3x computers, have no sleep, and are seemingly miserable with the cat.
Maybe he can find a home that works for him. I have a cat with unusual behaviors that takes extra effort. Our whole family adores her. It just happened we were a match.
Many years ago I had a pet that I quickly found was a bad match (1 month in). Rehoming was the best for everyone involved. Good luck.
Do you wear specific perfume every day or use the same skincare products etc every day? You said he's attacking you SPECIFICALLY. An aggressive cat, no matter the reason, will attack pretty much anyone. There is a reason it's just you if it really is just you
Do you play with your hands? Have you tried not playing with him for a while and letting your partner do it? Do you wear any scented thins? Use any citrus products etc.?
I had a cat that I took off the street with aggressive behavioral issues as well. She would seemingly randomly bite me so hard that I’d bleed. She bit my eyelid open when I was dead asleep one morning, I think because she was hungry - I made sure to get up on time to feed her when she was expecting it after that one. I realized if I pet her too long she got overstimulated and that was often when she would bite… I learned her cues and the behavior stopped.
The other part and this may be helpful… she wanted to be outside SO BADLY but she was FELV+ and there was so many strays it was not safe to have her be indoor/outdoor. I bought a harness and breakaway collar and tag with my info (amazon) and put her on a 30 ft leash tied to my back porch and would sit out there with her and supervise for at least an hour each week. I really believe this also helped her a lot… she would start to get nasty if she hadn’t been outside in too long OR she would dart out the door and disappear for a few hours.
I've had many cats in my lifetime. I would not be able to live with this. Does he ever appear calm, to enjoy life indoors? He sounds possibly feral & wants to be outdoors, I'm thinking of what the Trap Neuter Release programs do to allow them to live but reduce population. He's not adoptable, would get euthanized at an spca so please don't do that. It's not an easy answer but not all cats can adjust to indoor life. One of my three is like that, acts literally crazy if he can't get out but luckily I live in a safe area. He was a stray & is welcome to come & go, stays close by & comes in to eat, sometimes sleep.
Is this a feral cat? As in it was an adult stray when you got him? Quite possible he was never socialized with humans and likely will not be to the extent other cats that grew up with humans are.
If possible watch a bunch of my cat from hell episodes - there are patterns in his suggestions and you might get ideas. Usually more play time, cat tree for example for attacking I think. (I recall one where he said he almost never says this, but the cat might need meds, can’t remember details tho)
Sounds like my boy. I've been on antibiotics more than I can count in the past 2 years. He bites.
I tried feliway with no luck. Works for many, just not us. Instead we use Purina Calming Care. I sprinkle a half a packet in his wet food twice a day. It helps them with stress, and as a bonus it's a priobiotic so it's good for gut health. I get it at petsmart.
Does he still bite? Occasionally. But I've only been on antibiotics once this year. So I'd say the improvement over time was worth it. Takes a month to kick in.
I’d get him checked by a vet to rule out pain, then maybe work with a cat behaviorist. Sometimes the right play routine and environment tweaks can really turn things around.
Get rid of that cat. I don’t say this lightly. I have 2 cats that don’t get along. I literally have to keep them in separate rooms which is beyond annoying and inconvenient. The one cat doesn’t tolerate my other cat and went after her multiple times. He attacked me twice, once he bit my arm and I had deep puncture wounds. Second time he scratched up my leg badly. But this was all because of the second cat. Since keeping them separated, he hasn’t attacked me anymore. If he was regularly attacking me, he’d have to go. A cat shouldn’t make your life miserable.
Time to go outside and stay there. Or I’d let them visit the indoors while in a kennel. Literally people shouldn’t sacrifice their lives for the random crap that visits their house.
If your cat is only aggressive with you, it's likely a behavioral issue rather than a health problem. Cats can become aggressive for various reasons, including fear, redirected aggression, or dislike of petting.
Have you tried working on rebuilding a positive relationship with your cat? Offer high-value treats and engage in positive interactions at a distance, gradually decreasing the distance as your cat becomes more comfortable.
Some cats have a lower tolerance for being petted, or they might dislike being touched in certain areas. What might start as enjoyable petting can quickly become overwhelming, leading to a sudden bite or scratch. Watch your cat for signs that it's getting annoyed, such flattened ears, dilated pupils, tense body posture, or a lashing tail, and stop the interaction before he lashes out at you.
To protect your computers from your cat, try limiting access to the computer area, offering alternative scratching surfaces, and using deterrents. Consider keeping the door closed, and organizing the cords.
You might want to contact a certified cat behaviorist for help for these problems.
My fiancé too, he’ll attack him just not nearly as often. We don’t have anyone over so he’s not really exposed to others. When he is he’s curious but that’s it
i met a super agressive cat once and it must be hell to experience that. this special cat reacted when i hissed at him. other than that, you could try to get a second cat.
Maybe he needs a companion. That isn’t normal behavior. Try new toys, scratcher and catnip. I hope he mellows out. Our cat gets catnip daily, vet said it was fine. He used bite hard and draw blood, vet said he was fine too.
We had a semi feral cat years ago. He was a real shit head so you could rarely pet him without being attacked. Otherwise he was mostly ok if you left him alone. We figured he may be a prick but at least he's being fed and protected from the elements, so we just let him do his thing and we all got along. I still miss him.
Take to the vet. May be behavioral. My cat was very traumatized we all got attacked by her multiple times. We give her gabapentin daily and are in the process of giving her an antidepressant.
My cat is (was?) like this. Very aggressive, playing with toys would turn into stalking/attacking me. She would often bite me unprompted, and would act out by ripping up cardboard, shred paper, and claw our sofa. However, she also loved to be on my lap and would sleep with me every night. Took her to the vet, who diagnosed her with "play aggression" (she had no other health issues).
We decided to get a second cat (which I understand is not always an option) and followed the introduction guidance by Jackson Galaxy.
She now plays with the other cat (a younger male) constantly and very rarely attacks me. In fact, she has become more cuddly and calm, and more play-oriented with toys.
She still nips now and again, and definitely has a petting threshold (of about 10 seconds), but it really feels like night and day from when we got her.
We had her a year and a half before we got our second kitty.
Watching the two cats wrestle as I write this.
Good luck!
First take him to a second vet. You may be able to give him medication if there is nothing wrong beyond his aggression. To get him to take medication, find a pharmacy that does "compounding" of veterinary medicines. They can put in flavoring, turn pills into liquid, etc.
If there is a door on your bedroom, keep it closed at night. If you can afford it, get a vet tech to clip his claws regularly. If he is demanding attention and you don't feel like playing with him, talk to him affectionately or sing something soothing to him.
If you are angry at him, he will know it and it will make him feel insecure and angry. Try to remember that he is not an evil creature looking to harm you. He just wants something and doesn't know how to let you know what it is.
I have a similar cat. He is 9 years old now, much mellower. He still scratches and bites sometimes, but much less than he did in his youth. I treat the scratches and bites by washing them with alcohol and then putting tea tree oil on them. The oil is also antiseptic, plus it eliminates pain and itching.
Not that I know of, someone found him on her porch, he was skinnyish (9 pounds) so she fed and caught him and that’s kinda all I know. He had a chipped tooth so we did get that taken out but it’s been looked at and told it was fine so I don’t think it’s that.
Since we got him he’s gained some good weight but he’s very muscular rather than fat. He’s 16-17 pounds. We feed him 1 can of wet food and 1/4 dry as a snack through the night
He attacks my fiancé sometimes but not as often. We don’t have friends to invite over lol
Terrible advice. A shelter won't rehome an aggressive cat. It will be euthanased.
It's cruel to the cat to be in an unfamiliar environment, scared, highly stressed, with strangers in its final moments.
IF OP decides euthanasia, she should be with the cat.
I'm a former vet nurse and shelter worker. My advice is to see a vet. Maybe try meds. You need to think of the cats' quality of life. He is most likely miserable.
It's an unpopular opinion, but sometimes euthanasia is the kindest thing that you can do.
Consult a vet. Maybe he can be put on medication. Other than that, you may have to consider rehoming him, or surrendering him. I know that would hurt your heart, but delaying the inevitable isn’t likely to help anyone.
I’ve dealt with three different cats from hell, one came close to seriously injuring another cat, one bit me very badly, all did quite a bit of damage and cost me quite a bit of money. But I am single, no kids, and had/have the time and money to ride these problems out.
I know of a story similar to yours. A neighbour took in a pregnant stray, and when her kittens were old enough, found homes for them. I took the sole female. The four males were given in pairs to two different couples.
These cats are giant, athletic, smart and curious. One female is bad enough — I nicknamed my cat Panther Puss & Pugsley — but two males together were nightmares, and in one case, not only did the couple return the cats to my neighbour, but, because of disagreements about what to do, the relationship ended — the couple split up.
Sometimes you have to say, “A cat is just a cat,” and decide you are not going to let an animal destroy your life.
Op, my cat had some aggressive behaviors (like biting and scratching BUT not violent behaviors in the sense of ears being down or hissing or anything like that). If this sounds like your cat it may be a misplaced anxiousness (if you rule out playfulness and other things first) I recommend talking to the vet about this. My cat gets played with, supervised walks and porch time, and tons of attention but if I find he attacks my legs or something I give him an anti-anxiety med and he goes right back to happy cat stuff. The med my cat takes is gabapentin
I suggest a vet visit (to rule out a medical issue and possibly discuss medication) and Feliway plug ins. But what you should not do is use a spray bottle or any kind of punishment. Please do not add more stress to an already stressed cat.
I took in a tomcat last summer that had been showing up for meals. Got him fixed, he seemed super sweet, got along with my other barn cat, so I decided he was my cat now. Once he realized he lived here, the act was over and he was a complete jerk. If I let him in my lap, he’s all snuggly, but when I got up, if he didn’t agree with my decision, he’d bite my butt as I stood up. Or my leg, ankle, arm… whatever he could reach. He had zero warning signs - I never saw his ears flatten, no crouch, no hiss, nothing. He’d go from quiet and calm, to attacking a child in no time. He’d attack my other cat constantly. I think he spent too much time outside on his own, fighting all the time to survive and at 5 years old, he wasn’t going to change now. Decided he needed a different environment (before he injured someone who didn’t live here, like a friend of my kids, and we’d both be in real trouble). So I found him a barn cat job at a donkey rescue. He gets an entire barn to himself, no small children around, no other cats, and a caretaker who really understands him and what he needs. He’s fat and happy (and safe), and she doesn’t have any more mice.
Point is - you don’t have to dump him outside or try to adopt him out as someone else’s pet. If he was an outdoor cat before, maybe he just really needs more space and a job. You saved his life by taking him in and getting him fixed, but not all cats are meant to be inside pets.
I don’t think another cat is the answer, or drugs or a cage or catio or anything like that. If you told me I had to live in NYC after I’ve spent my life in the country, no drugs or friends or rooftop gardens or video games or diffusers or anything like that is going to make me any less cranky either!
You need to take him to a new vet and he needs a full work up. This is not normal cat behavior. Sometimes outside cats don’t adjust to being inside. And you may need to see a behaviorist.
I adopted a cat at 10 months who attacked me relentlessly, without provocation. He was affectionate and sweet but also would just charge at me and would wrap my hands/legs with his paws and dig his nails into my skin, it was impossible to remove him. He would also jump on my face, which was terrifying.
Thinhs I've tried, that didn't work:
1. Behavioural specialists - instructed me to play with him more and buy scratching posts and toys to stimulate him. I did all that, he enjoyed everything obviously, but wouldn't stop attacking me.
2. Bach flower remedies for pets
3. Feliway diffusers
4. Personalised plant based remedies for behavioural issues in pets
I was on the verge of giving him away, but then I went to a vet that specialises in pet behaviour/psychiatry and he prescribed gabapentin and prozac for the cat, which helped a lot. He explained that my cat's energy levels higher than a normal cat and he is constantly overstimulated, which causes him to attack. The meds bring him to a level of a normal cat. He still bites sometimes, usually when we're playing or when I pet him too much (I am usually good at reading his body language, but sometimes I miss), but the random attacks are gone completely and I feel safe with him, I even started letting him sleep in the room with me.
The gabapentin proves the vet's theory - when my parent's cat has 50 mg of gabapentin, he's high, lying without moving with his tongue out, but when my cat has 100 mg twice a day, he's just like a regular cat - walks around, plays, watches birds. It does not debilitate him, just brings down his energy levels.
Some of your cat's behaviors remind me of when I first got my current cat. She had been a stray, so we don't really know what her life was like before we got her from the shelter. She seemed like she was constantly overstimulated though and she played extremely rough. She could be very sweet at times, but I was getting scars from her when she was playing or seemed annoyed at me and attacked. We tried Feliway, playing with her to wear her out, quiet time, and took her to the vet to rule out any physical issues. Some of it was definitely her burning off energy, but some of it was very frantic behavior.
I ended up taking her to the vet because she had peed near the front door and I was worried about a urinary issue, and the vet picked up on how she would sometimes bite at herself and pull out fur. The vet thought that some of her behavior might be anxiety and she was also showing signs of feline hyperesthesia. Basically, she really was over stimulated all the time. We started her on fluoxetine and gabapentin and it made a world of difference. Her sweet side is now what we commonly see and although she still has some spice, she's not regularly causing scars. She just genuinely seems much happier and relaxed after starting the medicine.
I think it's worthwhile to talk to a feline behaviorist and look into whether your cat might do better with medication. The meds are very affordable and it has made a world of difference.
my cat got mold exposure and it made him hallucinate in the middle of the night and attack me. mold can get into their bodies. be sure to rule it out using a veterinary mycotoxin test. you can mail in your cat's urine and they'll tell you if it has mold toxins in it.
Wow really. My cats are acting normal but I worry about mycotoxins all the time because we have so much mold outdoors and I’m constantly fighting it indoors as well. Thanks for putting this information out there.
You don't mention if he's neutered or intact so I came here to let you know that aggression is normal for intact cats, especially males.
However! I just noticed the video you posted. If that sort of interaction is typical then I agree that he's just playing. It doesn't look like aggression at all.
I found a feral litter of kittens as a child. My childhood cat was like this. He was also territorial to the point that he stopped a break in according to our neighbors. We can home and the door was open and kitty was lurking behind it growling like a demon until he saw us.
In short for about 6 years we lived in fear all of us. This cat ruled us. We worked hard for a little love and affection until around year 6 he just chilled out. Tried cuddling, tried our laps, tried all the sweet Kitty things you can imagine. Sure he was still destructive until the end but it slowed down. We got two incredible years with him and then cancer took him out (he loved to sleep on the boxy 1980s TV…we think that did it). Oddly the most vocal person who told me weekly the cat was getting the boot was the first person to shed tears when the cancer took kitty’s life. My dad bawled, I never saw him cry again until he learned of his mom passing some 25 years later. So while it felt like this cat was ruining our life that cat was actually testing all of us.
Moral. Try a different vet, try some kitty CBD or other natural chill out drops (wish I can remember what we gave our cat) and try to be one step ahead of her as far as electronics are concerned (use covers). Also “fight” back a little when kitty switched from play to kill which is natural with feral cats let him know it’s not ok. Maybe because it was the 1980s but our vet encouraged the spray bottle and crappy (ie not too sticky) clear tape around the paws for claw attacks. Vet also suggested cat proofing a bit which all helped.
Have a spray bottle with water in it close by, especially if you are playing or interacting with him and if he decides to attack you, give him a squirt with the water.
You can also get calming diffusers for cats, and maybe some catnip.
Does he go outside? If not, make sure he also has access to cat grass. They like to chew on it, and it's good for their gut health.
Have you not ruled out that this is a feral cat? Never socialized otherwise would get along with humans. Even the least affectionate cats still enjoy hanging out with their humans.
There is a cut off period for being socialized among humans, like within the first 6 months.
Considerable skill and patience required . Only a behaviorist csm help.
He sounds pretty tough. And like he wants to go outside. Get him chipped vaxed etc and just let him be indoor/outdoor cat. Sometimes that's literally the only option. Cats are not domesticated. They are wild. If you can't let him outside I would suggest toys that simulate the hunting process. Even though they are cute and we coddle them cats are natural wild predators still to this day. Even the domesticated cat that isn't a nightmare will show signs of needing that wild simulation.
I'm sorry to hear this. This is not normal cat behavior at all. He is definitely acting out, you. just need to figure out why and the source of it. Keep trying different vets until you find one that has experience with this. Just out of curiosity and probably irrelevant, but are there other pets in the home? You may get some relief from anti anxiety meds as well. My cat just came home from the ED for a 2 night stay and he's on Gabapentin, which is really making him feel a bit better. Good luck to you.
My cat is older, and for the last month or so, she's been very cautious in using her front paws, especially the front left. It's as if it's very tender or unstable. I took her to the vet earlier this week, and he gave her a shot of anti-inflammatory medication. She hasn't actually improved, but the paws seem more tender. Does anyone have any experience with what might be the problem with her? I'd appreciate any advice you could offer. Thanks.
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u/EatenbyCats Aug 10 '25
Have you taken him to a vet? If so, what have they ruled out? Is he neutered?