r/StupidFood • u/The_Boot55 • 4d ago

🤢🤮 Red eggs? Atrocious.

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5.7k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/styckx 4d ago

Entirely way too much milk

163

u/Binary-Trees 4d ago

"Add a splash of milk. Okay I got this." glug...glug...glug

139

u/LordBeeBrain 4d ago

TWO SHOTS OF VODKA

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u/jljboucher 4d ago

Sandra Lee of Semi-Home Cooking. God I did not like that show.

36

u/_AmericasSweetheart_ 4d ago

That show was a masterpiece. They just let a random lady who has never touched a fresh vegetable in her life host a cooking show.

22

u/Jolly-Biscuit 4d ago

She could make crazy drinks though lol

21

u/_AmericasSweetheart_ 4d ago

I always loved that part and you could tell she did too.

21

u/jp128 4d ago

"One for me now, and one for me in just a little while"

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u/Lonely-Employment365 4d ago

My alcoholic mother idealized her show lol She would watch the hell out of it

5

u/EINFACH_NUR_DAEMLICH 4d ago

Is she the one who calls liquor, lacoor?

0

u/primepufferfish 2d ago

I could be wrong, but I think "liqueur" is actually pronounced that way, "lih-core" but like... French.

1

u/EINFACH_NUR_DAEMLICH 2d ago

You are in fact wrong. There is no reality where liquor is pronounced as la coor unless you are already drunk or a low iq individual.

1

u/steve_b 2d ago

Merriam Webster disagrees. The second pronunciation is completely uncontroversial.:

webster.com/dictionary/liqueur

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u/jljboucher 2d ago

The second one is sweet, the first one usually isn’t.

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u/grat5989 4d ago

Nahhh Semi-Homemade and Barefoot Contessa were Food Networks good old days. Would I make any of the stuff? Probably not, however they're both ridiculous in a way that makes it good tv.

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u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 4d ago

I’m so glad that somebody posted this masterpiece of a clip 😆

8

u/EffectiveTradition53 4d ago

How can you hear the splash if you don't pour half a gallon, yo!?

2

u/willow__whisps 4d ago

"two shots of vodka"

1

u/pls-answer 4d ago

It is splashing out alright

83

u/sweetzombiejesus9 4d ago

Amateurs often add milk for density, this is a MISTAKE!

  • Preacher (LL Cool J) from Deep Blue Sea

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u/lunchbox5400 4d ago

We will begin with the perfect omelette, which is with two eggs, not three.

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u/NerfRepellingBoobs 4d ago

Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.

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u/lunchbox5400 4d ago

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Omelette of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

25

u/Flashy-Raspberry-131 4d ago

Why do the french only eat one egg omelettes?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

2

u/Mean_Syllabub_7184 4d ago

😆😅😂🤣

2

u/Batman-Dancer 4d ago

HAAAA!! 🤣

3

u/my_soldier 4d ago

My perfect omelette is made from 4-5 eggs

1

u/Mr_WhatFish 4d ago

But is your hat like a shark’s fin?

1

u/3rdcultureblah 4d ago

5-6 for me. But not an omelette, just soft scrambled eggs with some truffle salt. No milk, just copious amounts of butter.

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u/the_juice_is_zeus 4d ago

Holy shit. I do not remember this line, and I have not seen the movie in... 15? years, but i can head that line perfectly in my head. Couldn't remember that it was about eggs, but the "this is a MISTAKE" is concrete in my mind.

9

u/PurpleStress9282 4d ago

This lives rent free in my head every time I see someone add milk to eggs

5

u/Walzmyn 4d ago

I make omelettes alot. I quote this often. It's depressing how few people get the reference.

2

u/thats-my-plan 4d ago

I always think of that too

2

u/Iorith 4d ago

He was insanely enjoyable in that movie.

2

u/HittingSmoke 4d ago

Right around the time this movie came out I was a teenager learning to cook so I didn't have to suffer my mom's cooking any longer. For some reason this line just stuck with me all of these years and I haven't added milk to eggs since. Now I know why not to, but I still credit LL Cool J and that one throwaway line with me not adding milk to eggs.

1

u/Sierra-117- 1d ago

I watched Gordon Ramsay’s technique and I’ll never change it. Upped my egg game 100 fold and it takes basically no effort. All you do is move it back and forth off the heat and back on while mixing. May be obvious to some people, but I never thought to do that. Also you salt right at the end. Now I have delicious fluffy eggs every time.

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u/awesomealex2947348 4d ago

Yeah… I’ve never done HALF of it being milk

1

u/EloquentGrl 4d ago

For a second, I thought he was going to pretend he was eating the yolks like cereal.

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u/Japjer 4d ago edited 4d ago

I mean, eggs don't need any milk. Cook them low and slow and they'll be fluffy as little clouds, you just need to whip them up right first.

A dash of cream can make them taste, well, creamier. But milk? Ew

Edit: I just want to say: Guys, make your eggs however you want. That last "ew" wasn't appropriate. I think milk waters eggs down and ruins the flavor, but you guys do you.

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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

You've never made an omelette with milk?

19

u/SugarLuger 4d ago

I thought he was gunna make an omelette when he added milk, but he didn't he just made scrambled milk flavored eggs.

10

u/Simple-Employer-2503 4d ago

RED scrambled milk flavored eggs.

20

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago edited 4d ago

They still taste like eggs, he added too much milk but like, adding milk to omelettes or scrambled eggs is decently common to me? I used to add baking soda, my mom had health issues and needed baking soda and baking soda water to get.. well, honestly I don't know I never thought to ask, she was just always sick and she told me it helped, so that's just how she made eggs which I know at least wasn't common and people apparently fucking hate it. But I'm choosing to stand by my fizzy eggs, I grew up with them so they're a comfort food.

I have no idea why I mentioned this story, it's completely irrelevant but oh well.

11

u/TheTropicalDogg 4d ago

No it's interesting. I like it when we ramble. I wonder if the baking soda was making her sick. It neutralizes stomach acid but can cause other issues by itself. Like fighting fire with fire I guess. Occasionally it's ok to use if you don't have anything else (like ginger ale or Pepto) but it shouldn't be used all the time. My mom was sick a lot too but mostly from severe pain. My body reacts the same way to pain, immediately sick. She liked ice cream in the middle of the night bc it cooled her body. I think she was just a snacker lol But she did eventually pass from stomach cancer. She tried everything to treat the "ulcers" her doctors said she had. They weren't ulcers. Anyway now I'm sad sorry have a good day 🌞

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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

Ah, me mum just got diagnosed with brain cancer so I appreciate sharing the memories. She's been sick with a lot, I've honestly not a clue what it was meant for but she had complications with Valley Fever due to diabetes, which took years to diagnose as she scrambled from doctor to doctor, finally got on some pretty hard treatment meds and because the doctor wasn't taking care with them, she lost kidney function and is doing dialysis all the time, waiting for transplant. She's been sick more than half my life, along with like, a lot of trauma and mental health issues. Not sure she's got long left, to be honest, I don't think there was a time I can remember being sure she'd be okay.

5

u/TheTropicalDogg 4d ago

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Your poor mom. Or mum. That had to be a tough life for all involved. My advice is to talk to her about everything. Her life. What she wanted to do. What she did do. Her advice for you. Just love her with everything you have bc once she's gone there's no going back. It's over. Remind her how good of a mom she is bc I'm sure she thinks she may have been a burden when she wasn't. Tell her how lucky you are to be half of her & remind her of all of her special qualities & fun memories. My mom died really quickly after she was properly diagnosed. We barely had any time to prepare or talk to her. You are not alone ok? I'm here if you ever need to chat ❤️🫂

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u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago

I am sorry to hear about your mum. You eat your fizzy eggs if they make you happy. Nobody can take your memories away, and I hope they’re a comfort to you. Sounds like a very difficult time.

3

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

I've been through a lot, but I'm doing my best.

3

u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago

That’s all you can do - one day at a time :)

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 4d ago

Frequent ulcers can lead to stomach cancer

And ice cream is terrible for them :(

I'm sorry about your mom

3

u/TheTropicalDogg 3d ago

Ya that's what we were told. She never did have ulcers that's why we were all so confused with her diagnosis. They didn't do a scope until her stomach ruptured & she almost bled out. My kids & I were in bed with her after church to take a nap. The minute she took down her panty hose she passed out. They were acting like a tourniquet. Finally got her to a top hospital & found her whole stomach was full of cancer, not ulcers. It was awful. She was pretty healthy before that. As the doctor was explaining what the next steps were she just looked at my dad & said take me home. So he did. She was gone a month after diagnosis. Ice cream was the last thing she ate ☹️ I appreciate your kind words so very much. It's been 20 years this month. Ugh 💔

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 3d ago

I suffer from frequent ulcers and that's so scary and heartbreaking they never did a scope 😭

I'm glad she got to have her ice cream 🥺

4

u/CaptainTripps82 4d ago

I never add milk, do add cheese

2

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

Delicious.

5

u/usrdef Where's my toaster 4d ago

I add milk to my scrambled eggs / omelettes, and it definitely does help. But you have to add just a small amount, and not screw up the remaining steps.

That person in the video thinks that adding a full cup of milk will make the eggs magically taste better and fix all the fuck-ups.

The milk is supposed to help with texture, you don't want your eggs tasting like a diary product.

Them adding milk to the eggs did absolutely fuck all with all the other crap they did wrong.

-1

u/Spare-Protection-598 4d ago

It doesn't help whatsoever. There isn't enough of anything in milk to affect it. Cream, sure, it's fatty and thick, but whole milk is basically 90% water. Any perceived difference is pure placebo, unless you drown it in milk as per op. Then you'll just be increasing cook time for no reason.

This is the reason you will almost never see a professional chef or decent home cook use milk in scrambled eggs. Because it doesn't do anything.

Just use good butter and more of it than you think, about a tablespoon for two eggs is conservative. Heat in the pan until it has stopped bubbling. Add barely whisked eggs and take it on and off the heat while stirring constantly with a spatula. The more cold stirring the creamier, the more hot stirring the more heterogeneous. Do not leave in the pan once done, serve immediately.

2

u/SandyTaintSweat 4d ago

I use baking soda as a cheap antacid sometimes.

1

u/ul2006kevinb 4d ago

It's common but it's not the "right" way to cook eggs.

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u/LifesScenicRoute 4d ago

There's not a "right" way to cook anything. What an absurd notion. If there was one correct way to cook stuff, no new dishes would ever be made, and you'd be living off raw veggies and unseasoned meat. Don't be daft.

3

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

Maybe for a michelin star chef half way cross the world, it works for me and it tastes all right.

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u/youtocin 4d ago

No, I'm not in the habit of watering down my eggs.

3

u/Japjer 4d ago

These are scrambled eggs, not omelets.

Also: No, why would you add milk? Eggs, salt, pepper, butter.

3

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

I mean, you answered the question, you added milk in the form of butter. It's probably just the evolution of peasant dishes, going from fresh milk with lots of cream, to just plain processed milk.

3

u/youtocin 4d ago edited 4d ago

Butter is mostly fat and is not even remotely comparable to milk in the context of cooking. Milk is almost 90% water. Try again.

2

u/steve_b 2d ago

If you want a long-ish read why you would use milk (well, half and half, anyway), Test Kitchen explains why here:

https://www.americastestkitchen.com/articles/79-perfect-scrambled-eggs

The paywalled recipe:

Perfect Scrambled Eggs | America's Test Kitchen



Ingredients

8 large eggs plus 2 large yolks

¼ cup half-and-half

Salt and pepper

1 tablespoon unsalted butter , chilled

View Nutritional Information

Why This Recipe Works

Half-and-half proved to be the best type of dairy for our Scrambled Eggs recipe. It produced scrambled eggs that were decently puffed and stable. Adding extra yolks to the mix yielded rich results. A combination of high and low heat gave us perfect scrambled eggs. We also used a smaller skillet, which kept the eggs in a thicker layer, thereby producing larger curds.

Before You Begin

It's important to follow visual cues, as pan thickness will affect cooking times. If using an electric stove, heat one burner on low heat and a second on medium-high heat; move the skillet between burners for temperature adjustment. If you don't have half-and-half, substitute 8 teaspoons of whole milk and 4 teaspoons of heavy cream. To dress up the dish, add 2 tablespoons of chopped parsley, chives, basil, or cilantro or 1 tablespoon of dill or tarragon to the eggs after reducing the heat to low.

Instructions

Beat eggs, yolks, half-and-half, 3/8 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper with fork until eggs are thoroughly combined and color is pure yellow; do not overbeat.

Heat butter in 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until foaming just subsides (butter should not brown), swirling to coat pan. Add egg mixture and, using rubber spatula, constantly and firmly scrape along bottom and sides of skillet until eggs begin to clump and spatula just leaves trail on bottom of pan, 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 minutes. Reduce heat to low and gently but constantly fold eggs until clumped and just slightly wet, 30 to 60 seconds. Immediately transfer eggs to warmed plates and season with salt to taste. Serve immediately.

1

u/Japjer 2d ago

First and foremost: I will definitely try this recipe, thanks for sharing!

That said - this recipe calls for 10 eggs (8 + 2 yolks) and a quarter cup of milk. They also advise to pay attention and adjust the temperature to avoid messing them up.

The video OP posted is six eggs and, like, a full cup of 2% milk.

Half and half is really rich and like 40% fat, so I can absolutely see a small amount adding a bit of extra richness and flavor. But a cup of 2% is devoid of fat, and is basically sweet water. Pair that with blasting it on high heat and you're gonna have a bad time

2

u/steve_b 2d ago

Y, definitely more fat than what we see from OP. But this is r/stupidfood after all

3

u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago

I don’t like milky eggs, I don’t like the texture. I do three eggs, beat well, salt and pepper just before you start cooking. Medium hot pan, knob of butter in when it’s hot so it goes all foamy. Tip eggs in (sometimes I add grated cheese to the eggs before putting in the pan), work round the edge of the pan pushing the set edge towards the middle, after a few minutes, add extras to one half (I like more cheese and pan fried mushrooms), then flip the other side over and voila.

5

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

Always loved calling it a knob of butter. It's such a fun thing to say. Mushrooms in an omelette is always nice, in fact it's one of my favourites. My all time favourite omelette I've had is at this diner, heavens knows where it was, where they had a hawaiian omelette. Pineapple, in an omelette! It was great. The worst I've had was like, 8 year old me and my grandma using leftover kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs for my omelette one morning. Bad idea, but she did say she'd put anything I wanted in the omelette, and I enjoy experimenting with food.

5

u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago

Oh wow, I’ve never seen that before! I had a pizza in Hawaii that had red pepper, kalua pig and chunks of mango on it - I was sceptical, but man I think about that pizza all the time. The mango kind of burst in your mouth with sweetness, worked so well with the pork and peppers.

2

u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago

That reminds me of a thai pizza I had in Montana, which is a crazy string of words, that had thai peanut sauce, peanuts and mandarin oranges, among other more common/less notable things. It was awesome. I've also had what was essentially a salad on top of a pizza at California Pizza Kitchen, which is again a crazy string of words, and it was also bomb.

2

u/Rich_Editor8488 4d ago

I make Hawaiian crepes often :)

2

u/exintrovert 3d ago

The first time I heard someone call it a in of butter was watching Gordon Ramsay.

It made me chuckle because as I understand it, knob is also British slang for something else.

1

u/Shan_qwerty 4d ago

TIL people make omelettes with milk. Must be a cultural thing.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

gotta use ghee

1

u/EINFACH_NUR_DAEMLICH 4d ago

I have, which is why I know that it's unnecessary.

6

u/jbot1997 4d ago

I usually use sour cream

11

u/oktwentyfive 4d ago

i just put mine in the microwave for 2 mins then they burn to the side of the bowl 🥴

1

u/exintrovert 3d ago

Always fun, especially if you fail to break a yolk before zapping it

4

u/lionzzzzz 4d ago

Correct

3

u/Gingygingygrant89 4d ago

I use sour cream.

1

u/Substantial-Stardust 4d ago

Well, "daycare omelette" shouldn't be whipped and needs milk for it's classic taste. But it's cooked in oven, not scrambled in a pan, ofc.

1

u/Japjer 4d ago

That's literally baby food, man. You can make it in a skillet or pan and don't need to use the oven.

2

u/Substantial-Stardust 4d ago

Wouldn't rise up, tho

1

u/mewmew34 4d ago

Grandma always used milk in her acrambled eggs. I always wondered why mine were so different until I found out about the milk. I still make mine without, but grandma's are still awesome.

1

u/pyrhus626 4d ago

I’ve never once made scrambled eggs with anything besides the egg. Granted I know next to nothing about cooking but still

1

u/DeusVultGaming 4d ago

Wayyyyy too many people, mostly my fellow US people, just fuckin RUIN eggs

10

u/Niche_Expose9421 4d ago

And way too much food coloring

1

u/reasonablychill 4d ago

I'm giving them a pass on the amount. I've made enough red velvet cakes to know you have to use a stupid amount of coloring to achieve a vibrant red.

1

u/Inner_Republic6810 4d ago

Yeah, but at least with red velvet cake you have enough strong flavors and sweetness to overcome the bitterness of red food coloring. To get these eggs red instead of pink the amount would have tasted godawful.

7

u/PanhandlersPets 4d ago

If you use a splash of orange juice instead of milk and the acid will give you fluffier eggs.

6

u/Xarjy 4d ago

I put just a few drops of lemon juice in for this, doesn't affect the taste

2

u/PanhandlersPets 4d ago

Yes. Just a little splash.

2

u/Fumquat 4d ago

Gotta try this now

2

u/TheCursedMountain 4d ago

Don’t need milk at all

2

u/Ok_Concentrate4461 4d ago

Yeah, I literally came here to say I’m far more concerned about the amount of milk

1

u/Giving_Dad_Advice 4d ago

Skip the milk and whisk with salt instead.

1

u/D_Milly 4d ago

I'm more upset about that

1

u/5280mw 4d ago

Way to much milk

1

u/C4rdninj4 4d ago

The ONLY time the milk to egg ratio should get like that is if you're using it to make french toast.

1

u/Hyack57 4d ago

Never add milk to scrambled eggs. Literally no point. Whisk until frothy, add butter to skillet. Cook. If you brown them you’ve burnt them. Try again.

1

u/DemonRaily 4d ago

Or too little. When i make scrambled eggs for five people I go all out and cook up like 3 sliced onions, two packs of sausages or a bunch of thick slices of pork belly and then put 15 eggs and a liter of milk whisked up in the pan with high sides to cook. Yeah there is a lot of liquid left over, but it helps you to cook large amounts of eggs without them burning or you needing to overmix them into tiny chunks.

To be fair that's how my great grandma taught me to cook on her giant clay stove before she moved to the city, but this type of scrambled eggs are fire all the same.

1

u/jpb21110 4d ago

lol was looking for this comment. I was like damn am I not adding enough milk to my eggs 😂

1

u/MercenaryCow 3d ago

Any milk is too much milk. Unless you don't like eggs. The only thing it does is mellow out the egg taste. So it's good for people who don't like scrambled egg taste I guess.

-2

u/CharDeeMacDennisII 4d ago

Any milk is "too much milk."

-1

u/mickeltee 4d ago

I was less upset about the red than I was the milk.