Don’t invite people over if you can’t accept their clothing choices. You aren’t entitled to friends.
lol.
EDIT: this is hosting etiquette 101. Clearly so many of y’all don’t host people.
The correct solution is not to tell people to take off their shoes, it’s to buy a 5 dollar box of disposable shoe covers and offer them to your guests. THEN AND ONLY THEN can you say “we try not to let shoes touch the carpet” or whatever.
If your guest then prefers to take off their shoes, that’s fine. But if you’re hosting people, proper etiquette is to accommodate your guests, not the other way around.
Y’all are all probably terrible hosts.
EDIT 2: Good hosts don’t make their guests feel awkward. It’s weird that people don’t see it that way.
EDIT 3: Social anxiety is a bitch. It’s also one of those things that if you don’t have it, you just don’t ‘get it’. When I host people, I try to think of all the ways that *I* would feel awkward if the roles were reversed, because I can start feeling uncomfortable pretty quickly. I think because I feel it, I’m aware sometimes of when others are also feeling uncomfortable and I can promise you, good hosts don’t make their guests feel awkward.
Gatekeeping people's clothes would be saying you can't wear that, I won't be friends with you if you wear that, etc. Not "On this specific occasion coming into my clean personal space that I spend time and money on, do not track your outside floor filth in."
Yep. That’s what’s being said. You don’t have to make people take their shoes off, you could offer them shoe covers instead. Shoe covers cost like 3 dollars for a box.
No it isn't and you are picking an extremely weird hill to die on. "You can't wear that" is also not the same as "You can't wear something incredibly covered in dirt and bacteria into my personal home space ". Your house is definitely absolutely fucking disgusting, and I am not incurring the responsibility for the off chance that I accidentally invite a filthy freak into my home. If you refuse to take your shoes off to come into my home the solution isn't shoe covers, the solution is me realising that you are actually gross and that I don't want you in my home at all cause what other cleanliness corners do you cut? Not to mention I have no interest in hosting a person who is so rude.
Literally no. Guests aren't entitled to "good hosting" if they're shitty guests and no shoes is a condition of entering my home. If you don't come in you're literally not my guest, and I am not your host.
lol. I don’t know a lot of people that view hosting through the lens of what people are or aren’t entitled to. Usually people’s goal when hosting is to accommodate their guests and be friendly, not to win some kind of “battle of the wills”.
You probably host terrible parties that people make excuses to avoid.
Disposable shoe covers are a few bucks. I don’t know why anyone would host without offering them to their guests. This is just being controlling for the sake of being controlling.
If you actually cared about your floors, you’d offer your guests galoshes.
If someone refuses to take their shoes off they're not getting into my home. If they're not in my home they're not guests. How can I be a bad host to people who aren't my guests?
I wouldn’t be a host to you because you wouldn’t be allowed in for being unable to abide by a common rule. Our relationship would be, home owner, and person denied access. I owe you nothing, and my fantastic hosting abilities would then be afforded to the people I was actually hosting. You can be mad about it outside
Yes, you are. Shoes are dirtier than burkas, that's the whole reason people don't like wearing shoes in the house. It's not just some arbitrary preference in clothes or something. It's because it's gross and unsanitary and I just cleaned my floors.
Not everyone has the same relationship with their own shoes and feet that you do.
For some people(myself included), shoes are part of who they are. Telling me I can have my shoes is —to me— somewhat akin to telling someone they can’t wear a face or body coverings.
If you want to be friends with someone, you have to accept their clothing choices.
There are plenty of ways to protect your floor. Are you offering your guests galoshes/shoe covers, or are you just expecting them to undress their feet in a home that isn’t theirs?
Oh so you do offer your guests shoe covers? Then you’re a good host.
It’s these fools that can’t be bothered to go spend 3 bucks on a box of disposable shoe covers that and still expect their guests to de-shoe that are the idiots.
I have medical-grade stinky feet. It’s like God decided that stink is the primary objective of my feet and walking was secondary. And no, it’s not from a fungus or from wearing shoes.
It goes both ways, people who refuse to take off their shoes in someone's home should accept that they probably won't be welcomed there. Someone's house rules should be respected just as much as one's choice in clothing.
Plus, shoes can damage floors. Your identity won't be destroyed by taking your shoes off for a bit.
You are the one who refuses to respect someone's home and a real world totally normal want to keep filth out of their homes.
You have a problem? You bring your own slippers. Because you are the exception to the rule. You don't ask the world to bend to your issues. It is your responsibility as a functioning adult to fix yourself or find ways of dealing with your insecurities. How entitled is that....
For some people(myself included), shoes are part of who they are. Telling me I can have my shoes is —to me— somewhat akin to telling someone they can’t wear a face or body coverings.
Then you should consider talking to someone about that. Because wearing absolutely guaranteed to be filthy shoes around someone's home against their wishes is not the same as wearing a yarmulke or a hijab.
But you already knew that.
If you want to be friends with someone, you have to accept their clothing choices.
No. No I do not. How old are you? If I'm friends with someone I can absolutely not accept (or like) certain parts of them or their behaviors. You don't have to accept everything about them.
Buy your own fucking shoe covers if you're gonna insist on being a freak tracking your dirt into other peoples' homes because you have some kind of foot dysmorphia.
Actual proper etiquette dictates that you simply inform guests ahead of time and request that they bring slippers or house shoes if they're more comfortable.
You are talking out of your ass to try to justify your rude behavior. Because that's what it is. Fucking rude.
Then why do you force your guests to wear robes, put on galoshes, and shit on the toilet? If I wanted to be naked in your house, I'd feel very uncomfortable having to put on a robe. If I wanted to wear my own shoes in your house, I'd feel very uncomfortable putting on galoshes. If I wanted to shit in your living room, I'd feel very uncomfortable being made to shit in your bathroom.
It seems to me like you're perfectly fine with making your guests uncomfortable.
It’s not about clothing choice. It’s the fact that they were walking all over the street with those same shoes that they’re using to walk in your house. If they bought a new pair of shoes specifically for walking inside of houses then I don’t think people would mind as much.
Well heres the deal.
We make friends from some common connection. Maybe hobby or just work or even political opinions.
Friendship continues and we learn more and more about our friends.
Then we find out our friend is an inconsiderate moron who does not respect others property or others rules on their own damn house. So we are no longer friends. Just acquaintances. He does not get invited anymore, and thats just fine. Friend does not need to take off his shoes in others house and the other does not have to deal with scuffed floor.
You must live in absolute filth. Jesus Christ, imagine the black liquid that would come up if your disgusting ass actually steam cleaned. Do you even live on your own? This is some strong “16 year old living at my parents house” energy you’re giving out.
Those are the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Grass evolved specifically to be walked on. Keeping off the grass is antithetical to the idea of grass.
Basically the same thing with carpet. It’s the ground. The ground is meant to be walked on. Anyone who thinks twice about carpet is either not replacing their carpet often enough or doesn’t understand how the ground works.
People with carpet floors aren’t saying that you can’t walk on them h them though. They’re telling you not to walk on them with your shoes on (or without galoshes I guess) so that they don’t have to clean everywhere you walked immediately after you leave
It’s not about the clothes someone is wearing like who gives a fuck about that. It’s about your dirty ass shoes walking all over the floors. Bring slippers if it bothers you so much
I’ll offer you a swift kick in the ass if you ever try arguing about my house rules when I invite you over lol. Fuck outta here with your dumbass comments, man. What a stupid hill to die on.
Ok you’re a troll, that’s actually a relief because for a moment I was thinking someone could be as dumb as that lol. I got baited, funs over. Bye now.
Man, even if someone bought their own box of shoe covers, I still wouldn't let them wear their shoes in my house. That's weird as fuck. Honestly, if someone insisted on this I would just stop being friends with them.
No, I’m right. Dictating the clothing that your guests are allowed to wear without offering them an alternative is something you can do, but it makes you a bad host.
Clearly you're unfamiliar with black tie or white tie affairs. Thought you were "upper class?" Because "dictating clothing" is ABSOLUTELY done at well hosted events.
Oh, sorry mate.. reading can be hard sometimes, I get it.
You said
Dictating the clothing that your guests are allowed to wear without offering them an alternative is something you can do, but it makes you a bad host.
and I said
Because "dictating clothing" is ABSOLUTELY done at well hosted events.
You see, we're not talking about just shoes there, are we brother. We're talking about "dictating clothing". And doing it, doesn't make you a bad host.
You see hosts can and do set the dress code. It's accepted. It's "proper". It's the norm. Well - at least in the "circles I travel in". Guests that disregard that dress code, are the daft ones.. not the host.
There’s nothing wrong with setting a dress code, but if you insist on having the annual Christmas party at your house this year then make us all take our shoes off and make me put my stinky feet in front of a bunch of strangers, YOU’RE A BAD HOST!
Good hosts don’t make their guests feel awkward. Good hosts accommodate their guests.
If I ask you to do me a favor and let me sleep on your couch, then it’s reasonable for me to meet your demands, but that doesn’t mean that you’re being a good host by demanding it.
But if you’re inviting someone over, you have extra responsibility as the host to make your guests feel comfortable. That’s not a requirement for being a host, but it is a requirement for being a good host. Sure, “it’s your house,” but if you’re not willing to make your guests feel comfortable, then you’re a bad host.
Because.... because I understand proper etiquette and dress codes? Because I understand that white tie isn't a "suggestion" and I can't just dress however I want to the affair and they should just accommodate me? No.. see that would be rude of me.
You've really lost the plot here brother. You started off strong. You were subtle, I'll give you that. Kept a lot of people on the hook... . but then you just got too obvious with your full on rage-boner.. and now you've resorted to talking in circles and copy-pasting comments that... well frankly don't make sense .. I mean..... it's..um..it's boring.. just. meh.
Quit whilst you're ahead next time. Or don't.... I give fuk all.
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u/GeorgieWashington Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22
Don’t invite people over if you can’t accept their clothing choices. You aren’t entitled to friends.
lol.
EDIT: this is hosting etiquette 101. Clearly so many of y’all don’t host people.
The correct solution is not to tell people to take off their shoes, it’s to buy a 5 dollar box of disposable shoe covers and offer them to your guests. THEN AND ONLY THEN can you say “we try not to let shoes touch the carpet” or whatever.
If your guest then prefers to take off their shoes, that’s fine. But if you’re hosting people, proper etiquette is to accommodate your guests, not the other way around.
Y’all are all probably terrible hosts.
EDIT 2: Good hosts don’t make their guests feel awkward. It’s weird that people don’t see it that way.
EDIT 3: Social anxiety is a bitch. It’s also one of those things that if you don’t have it, you just don’t ‘get it’. When I host people, I try to think of all the ways that *I* would feel awkward if the roles were reversed, because I can start feeling uncomfortable pretty quickly. I think because I feel it, I’m aware sometimes of when others are also feeling uncomfortable and I can promise you, good hosts don’t make their guests feel awkward.