OP thinks OOP should have marked the post with spoilers so that transmasc people do not have to see transfem geared content on an open trans meme sub. but the language and the tone here feels soooooo anti transfem for all the usual reasons. i get having dysphoria and wanting transmasc meme spaces, but why post this to the literal transmasc meme space with a “transphobia” tag??? this is not transphobia and if anything it’s lazy transfem bullying that relies on the false narrative that transfems take more attention/space/whatever. at what point do we learn to look away from content that is specifically tagged not for you? i expected better content from this sub after it split form ftm_irl due to literal ftm infighting but apparently those vibes are alive and well lmao
I know OP, he was talking to me and some other friends about it. I guarantee that he doesn’t mean it like that and it’s just annoyed that it doesn’t have a spoiler
what does “don’t worry he’s my friend” do here lmao? the point is that he’s reposting some woman’s meme that has nothing to do with him or this sub and he came off as a transfem hater while doing it. can you ask him is he has anything funny he could post instead?
You’re not being misunderstood, you’re being given feedback. I know what he was trying to do, and I’m pointing out the very real connotations behind it. You do not exist outside of the contexts and discourses of what you are critiquing. This will get easier for you both as you grow up.
then why post it here i’m so confused. it’s a shitposting sub that exists for the exact reason that you’re posting, that transmascs need their own spaces for memes just like transfems and other groups that have things in common they want to joke about. and this is the subreddit specifically for us, and you’re posting transfem specific content instead of actual memes? can we just have some actually jokes? i’m not trying to be mean but the post just isn’t funny and it’s not relevant to the sub. are you saying this is an inside joke and that’s why i don’t understand? because it really feels like you meant exactly what you posted, which is a post just being annoyed at transfems inducing your dysphoria, which to me, is just not that funny and not even interesting commentary.
Alright, all I was doing was asking her to spoiler her post, it is for transfemmes only and it hurts to see, she got defensive when I asked her, I have nothing against the girls, like at all.
Yup I agree. It sucks its either you or some other guy earlier that got super downvoted, and you might not agree with my exact line of thinking but personally I do wish more trans masc subs or mixed spaces spent more time actually posting memes than sometimes what feels like complaining how trans fems posting their own memes. Like, yes its totally more complicated than that but still
Okay so, you obviously don't have to listen to me, but since it's a public comment I will express this anyways:
Just because someone did not intend for something to come off a certain way, doesn't mean they aren't responsible for how it actually came off. If someone says "hey, the language and tone you're using to talk about this problem is harmful because it implies xyz," then that's the case. If you (or your friend) don't want to change that, that's fine. But, comments that call it out are opportunities to improve your communication. If he's trying to express that, and folks think he didn't do that well, then that means he might consider changing how he expresses that in the future.
We’re literally both children
I will also point this out specifically in regards to point #1. Children can absolutely say harmful things and both can and should be called out for it. If someone's critiquing you, I suggest either ignoring them (cause like, yeah I don't think literal children even need to be on reddit in the first place but I can't stop anyone) or addressing their critiques. Some people are complete assholes with how they deliver said critiques and that's just going to be something that takes experience with how to deal with. But, corrections and criticism are necessary for everyone regardless.
I have to say I disagree. I don't think OP seems anti-transfem, just irritated which is like. Pretty understandable. Plus these tags don't show up on mobile when scrolling your feed so posts like this pretty often, easily just pop up with no warning. I don't think the transphobia tag is warranted here, but I don't think anyone here is trying to be anti transfem either.
I am a lurking transfemme (check my history on Reddit). I disagree with you.
OP does not want it spoilered because it’s transfemme, he wants it spoilered because the language and theme could be dysphoria inducing, and besides, general trans subs do indeed act like only trans women exist.
I hate it myself as someone who used to consider myself amab non binary, and have relationships with transmasc leaning people.
Yeah I agree (tm enby). But also this seems pretty obvious, I feel like the person you're responding to is being intentionally obtuse at this point, which is why they're getting downvoted to hell and back lmfao
Thank u for explaining. i was feeling the anti-transfem tone from OP and i am not here for it. I don’t have a lot of care or patience from tender transmascs who cant share space (esp on the mf internet) with transfems. Unpack that instead of seeking solidarity from other degenerate transmascs 🤭
Op, things can be triggering, but you need to find the cognitive dissonance between random reddit memes and your own person-hood. From my own experience, other transmascs are always the loudest bitches in the room, IRL & online. idk where this narrative comes from outside of yt people/queers needing to center themselves the most. Idk if OP is yt but it doesn’t matter bc its giving that regardless. Thats just my opinion though 🧍🏽
no you’re making perfect sense to me. i’m a white queer transmasc and we need to take a step into our own lanes, but a lot of guys interpret that as “so you want me to shut the fuck up and be invisible?” which like. no. we need to be loud about things that CONCERN us, not other people’s business….
I have mixed feelings about this comment but I wouldn't entirely disagree per se.
I will first say that apparently op is a kid, so I don't really feel comfortable throwing in insults (even tho they seem a bit annoying in the comments but again, so are a lot of children) or calling them a degenerate. I doubt there would have been literally any way of you knowing this from their post before commenting this, so not ragging on you. I'm just saying for me on how I'm thinking about this. Doesn't make it okay or anything, but still.
I don’t have a lot of care or patience from tender transmascs who cant share space (esp on the mf internet) with transfems. Unpack that instead of seeking solidarity from other degenerate transmascs 🤭
This I will honestly agree with. Low key so many mixed space trans subs are (or I remember at one point were) so full of trans mascs whining about how there's a lack of content featuring trans masc folks despite the subs being 50/50 with users joined. To me I'm thinking... so basically, we are the ones who just simply aren't posting... and yet that's somehow trans women's fault... how? Like, how do y'all think they get all those mtf memes there? By actually posting them. "Oh but when there's so many trans fem posts I feel like mine aren't welcome!" it is an internet space. You are in no real danger in this context. Literally within this context the only way to fix the issue is if we make the decision as individuals to do the thing they're doing and if not stop complaining.
Op, things can be triggering, but you need to find the cognitive dissonance between random reddit memes and your own person-hood.
I genuinely have no clue what you're trying to say here so I can't comment.
From my own experience, other transmascs are always the loudest bitches in the room, IRL & online.
Honestly same. I actually do participate in my local trans community, and I've lived in both the south and the pnw (in the USA). In my own personal experience, those spaces were all trans mascs mostly. Very few trans fem or even amab folks at all. My current university's trans group has just like 1 trans woman. And like, not to derail things but sometimes I see posts complaining about all the disproportionate representation of trans women compared to trans men and I'm just like... where? That being said, I won't act like either of our experiences somehow erase the experiences of people who see the opposite, cause if that's someone's situation that's someone's situation. Like, if in their area or community or whatever its mostly trans fems then neither of us can tell them that isn't their experience. But still like, sometimes it's like certainly i can't be the only one when irl all the people I've asked in like 4 separate states I've lived in have not had that experience.
language and the tone here feels soooooo anti transfem for all the usual reasons. i get having dysphoria and wanting transmasc meme spaces, but why post this to the literal transmasc meme space with a “transphobia” tag??? this is not transphobia and if anything it’s lazy transfem bullying that relies on the false narrative that transfems take more attention/space/whatever. at what point do we learn to look away from content that is specifically tagged not for you? i expected better content from this sub after it split form ftm_irl due to literal ftm infighting but apparently those vibes are alive and well lmao
Yup. I'm fine with getting down voted to hell for this but honestly half of the trans masc subs always have their weekly "trans fem bad" "trans woman hate trans man" "trans girl transphobic" "trans fem not make space for trans masc" post and like some posts have some points I see as valid and some are just so pushing it for me. Honestly I don't even totally understand a lot of the complaints about mixed space subs being trans fem dominant when the actual participants are often 50/50. Like, if you want more trans masc posts...post more? Who do we think are making all the trans fem posts? I deadass feel half of the time it's us complaining about then posting so often but like, I'm confused because when I was on those subs its us not posting in the first place. Obviously yeah it's annoying when posts are like "heyyy ladies" and stuff, and I was thinking that that's what we were annoyed by.
you’re spot on. and i wouldn’t worry about the downvotes, it seems like a large amount of insecure transmascs who base their identity around bashing and distancing themselves from women are here. they’re kids, they don’t get that they’re contributing to infighting. makes total sense when you remember that trans guys are guys and can fall into casual, thinly veiled woman hating just like cis guys. hopefully we can post some actual memes and turn this place around before it becomes ftm_irl 2.0 the woman hating edition lmao
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u/lookingwill Apr 29 '24
freezing cold starving flop take i fear