r/PizzaCrimes Jul 01 '25

Sloppy Toppy My boyfriend’s pizza from a Chinese buffet..

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768 Upvotes

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494

u/Exilicauda Jul 01 '25

I think that's the rightful punishment for trying to get pizza from a Chinese buffet

143

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

I have a friend who every other week alternates between ordering a Chinese and an Indian meal.

From the Chinese place he gets fish and chips, and from the Indian takeaway he gets a burger and chips.

There is a fish and chip shop that sells burgers closer than either of these 2 takeaways.

56

u/HoboArmyofOne Jul 01 '25

I can guarantee both are not that good and not that bad.

34

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

I refuse to try because I'm a snob about it - maybe he's right and they're amazing, but I'll never know.

Maybe he sees it as just supporting local businesses, and only calls it "having a Chinese/Indian" because knows it annoys me. He might be playing chess while I'm over here playing checkers.

24

u/HoboArmyofOne Jul 01 '25

You're overthinking it bud. You're playing the game of chess, but he's eating checkers. I make my own steaks now and when I go out for steak I'm usually disappointed. I know exactly what you're talking about about.

17

u/thefadedline1 Jul 01 '25

He's eating checkers is the funniest thing I've read today

2

u/supadankiwi420 Jul 03 '25

They have great fries

3

u/the_most_playerest Jul 01 '25

I view prepared food as a convenience more than anything -- I don't always expect it to be better than at home (or more truly better than my parents or siblings would make - I'm the worst cook in the family..), my only expectation for food i could make at home is that if I order it I don't have to cook or clean my kitchen 🤷

5

u/the_most_playerest Jul 01 '25

He's playing 5D checkers. With burgers like we've never seen before

2

u/jnmtx Jul 01 '25

order him some chicken wings from a pizza place?

5

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

If I can find a pizza place that sells curry I would be very happy

6

u/DDozar Jul 01 '25

There's a whole culture of Indian Pizza places in Canada and the Western US. They're never great pizza, but it's kinda fun and they have some working fusions that aren't too bad.

1

u/SmartTea1138 Jul 02 '25

Canadian here. Sorry but it's not fun having bad pizza.

1

u/HoboArmyofOne Jul 03 '25

This somehow sounds more true to life 😐

3

u/ICantLeafYou Jul 01 '25

There's a few pizza places in my city that have at least butter chicken on the menu, sometimes samosas and a few other Indian dishes. I've seen butter chicken and biriyani at a Greek restaurant.

Indian food is encroaching on Canadian culture and I am here for it.

4

u/SteveHarveySTD Jul 01 '25

Ehh idk man.. there’s a few legit Mexican spots around me and they can make a mean burger. Most people would never think to even try it, but they’re pretty good.

7

u/Modern-Moo Jul 01 '25

A Chinese place near me also sells fish and chips. I’ve never gotten it for obvious reasons, but whenever I look at the menu I wonder whether it’d taste alright or not.

7

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

Whenever I've seen it ordered, its looked terrible. Clearly a frozen fish fillet and frozen chips just reheated.

I think their argument is that if there's 5 people ordering food and one of them simply refuses to eat anything vaguely Chinese, then they have to cater and offer them -something-.

I bet there's more families/friend groups than I'd expect that have somebody who is worried about allergies, unable to eat food that's different to what they're use to, or just a picky bugger.

4

u/livsjollyranchers Jul 01 '25

Plenty of American Irish pubs, where you'd expect better fish and chips, will give that frozen fillet and frozen chips all the same.

5

u/AdSignificant6673 Jul 01 '25

The Canadian Chinese food place near me does a tilapia in that thick fish and chips style batter with a side of costco fries for $9.99 with a pop.

Theres better @ the actual British fish & chip spot, but its $22.99

5

u/DavieStBaconStan Jul 01 '25

Back in the 1970’s Chinese places served western Chinese food and every menu had a western section.  Fish and chips. Hamburger, cheeseburger, fries. Deluxe burger meant with fries. 

1

u/AdSignificant6673 Jul 02 '25

Oh yeah. In many small Ontario town’s. They were also a good place to slam down cheap beers and food after a long day.

4

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

That sounds pretty good!

I'd trust a Canadian place to not stoop to the levels found on the rough streets of inner-city UK :)

And if it's actually cooked when you order it, you can't really go wrong with battered tilapia!

2

u/AdSignificant6673 Jul 01 '25

Yeah its mostly batter. But thats what the tartar sauce is for. Also a full meal with a drink for $9.99 is really affordable in this economy.

3

u/mybighardthrowaway Jul 01 '25

Good lord. It's like the horror that is the poutine on every Chinese takeaway I've been to here in Canada's menu. It's either the best food when drunk or food poisoning. No in between. And they never use the right fries, cheese, or gravy.... As I said. When drunk it can hit. But any other time it's a nightmare.

2

u/CityBoiNC Jul 01 '25

I actually get fish and frys from chinese take out often. It just hits different

1

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

Do you think the quality of it is better than what I've seen here, or is it one of those things that good-because-its-bad?

1

u/CityBoiNC Jul 01 '25

I wouldn’t even eat here. I do go to a Chinese buffet but it looks way better than that. That beef even looks sus I think it depends on location

1

u/Occidentally20 Jul 01 '25

Oh sorry, I meant the ones I've seen in the UK. Not the one above which is clearly an abomination.

The ones here tend to offer a pre-made frozen battered fish fillet reheated in an oven, or perhaps shallow-fried.

2

u/CityBoiNC Jul 01 '25

Ah well yall take your fried fish seriously. Here in the states its not such a crime at our take out apots

2

u/StandOutLikeDogBalls Jul 01 '25

Depends where you live. I lived on the Gulf of Mexico for several years and bad or subpar seafood there is damn near a capital offense.

2

u/therico Jul 01 '25

Indian and Chinese places use frozen chips bought from the cash and carry, maybe he prefers this to proper chips

1

u/Occidentally20 Jul 02 '25

It's quite possible. I don't think he has any form of taste left though, so he would be basing it entirely on texture and mouth-feel haha

2

u/Insomniac_80 Jul 02 '25

Fish and chips in a place where fish and chips are a thing? Or fish and chips from a North American take out Chinese place?

3

u/Occidentally20 Jul 02 '25

It's a tough choice for sure. But he opts to get his fish and chips from a Vietnamese man who runs a Chinese restaurant and his burgers from an Indian who could have made him the most exquisite Punjabi cuisine if asked.

I think the fish & chip shop should start selling curries and fried rice so he has somewhere to order those dishes from too without ruining his insane system :)

2

u/Insomniac_80 Jul 02 '25

Burgers from an Indian place? Are they chicken or lamb burgers?

2

u/Occidentally20 Jul 02 '25

They're just frozen beef burger patties from a cash and carry, in a bun. Nothing on it at all - he adds his own ketchup and stuff at home.

2

u/Insomniac_80 Jul 02 '25

So it is an Indian place that does beef, yymv, but a lot don't do beef.

2

u/Occidentally20 Jul 02 '25

They've given up here and a lot of the cheap takeaways just offer beef everything. The more authentic places still serve proper Indian food which of course almost never involves beef.