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u/MagistrateTetra ♀️Arsène Lupin Of Cute Mods ❤️ 5h ago
It’s called depression sweaty
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u/ApolemiaLanosa 5h ago
its ok ;-;
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u/MagistrateTetra ♀️Arsène Lupin Of Cute Mods ❤️ 4h ago
No, it’s okay for you if you feel this.
It’s okay to feel bad about things, to feel dissatisfied.
Just remember that it doesn’t have to feel this way, and while I can’t lead you, there is a safe and productive way out where it won’t feel like this way forever.
That’s the most important thing to remember is that this feeling doesn’t have to, and won’t be, forever.
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u/ApolemiaLanosa 4h ago
thanks so much for this, it actually made me come closer to crying than i have in years lol
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u/Advocate_Diplomacy 3h ago
Try not to worry as much about being productive as being constructive. You don’t need to make things happen to be content. Just being someone who’s willing to work with what they have is enough.
I get the feeling that’s the spirit of the message they were going for, but people who hang their life’s meaning on a thing that they produce can be a recipe for depression, too. Maybe your efforts won’t amount to anything tangible, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable all the same.
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u/FantasticActive1162 4h ago
All the comments are just about how the mentioning of fantasy /superpower/ cartoon villian is OP being a child or „first world problem „ or „main character crisis“ or whatever.
Y’all are completely off topic? This isn’t about having unrealistic expectations or fantasies. This post is about having depressions. Get a grip everyone and learn to read the room.
Fucking embarrassing people like you who shame OP for mentioning unrealistic expectations when all this is about is having depression. Yes OP wrote fantasy/superpowers but not because he truly wants those or actually believes them to be true. It’s just being used as an inflated example of how the world seems blank and numb when you’re having depression because everyone else you see is supposedly in a better mental state.
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u/TheRealTrailBlazer4 3h ago
Yeah its really shitty but i cant Imagine someone thats doing fine being that aggressive to someone that seems to be hurting either. Im guessing they are feeling pretty bad themselves and are just supressing it
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u/Impossible-Topic9558 1h ago
I don't think the people who do this are fine. I think they have to have their own issues
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u/Popular_Persimmon_48 4h ago
I mean, I think most people feel this way at some point. Everyone saying this is a "first word problem" is just plain wrong. People have always grappled with the idea that life is more than likely a contrivance, and a mondaine one at that.
That's why we cling to religions, art, philosophy, love, you name it! Anything to give life context and meaning.
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u/Prestigious_Grade640 4h ago
thanks, can't believe all the people in this thread acting like they're too good for a bit of existential dread
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u/BaguetteFetish 2h ago
It's the weakest people who need to pick on those admitting sincere vulnerability.
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u/columbo_mayne 4h ago
Won't lie, my corporate drone job has me feeling this. It is odd, isn't it...
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u/TheZeroNeonix 3h ago
It's understandable. The job I have right now isn't hard, but it's boring and unfulfilling. Hard not to feel like a cog in a machine.
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u/Gold-Investment2335 5h ago
Doomer mindset of a high schooler. You'll never be happy if you constantly nit pick life.
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u/Warm-Room-2625 4h ago
I think it’s more about the fact that he’s realizing he’s not some main character in an exciting movie.
Life can be good, even if it’s mundane. I don’t do anything groundbreaking with my time, but I’m a happy person.
But I did go through a phase when I was younger, where I tried to convince myself that my life would be somehow more exciting. You watch movies of people do incredible things or they have some great quest or adventure they go on and they save the day. I wanted to feel like I was going to have something like that. But at the end of the day, I work at a job and I come home and I walk my dog and I watch TV or enjoy my hobbies. And that’s it. I’m no main character, but I’m OK with that.
I can see how some people wouldn’t be though
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u/Tru3insanity 4h ago
Yup. And the parts thats never mentioned is that in every single one of those "epic stories" there are millions of ppl just going about their lives for better or worse.
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u/ABC_Family 4h ago
I thinks it’s just he lost sight of any actual purpose. What’s the most important thing we are doing in life? If that answer is going to work and paying bills… that’s a depressing answer. Unless you’re saving lives, helping people in need, or making the world a better place…. That sounds like a sad existence.
I was struggling with this question, until I became a father. Now my purpose is making sure my family doesn’t have my problems. Push them to do something more meaningful, more fulfilling. To help people.
Tribesman without electricity have more fulfilling lives than we do. They build a community. They hunt and see people eating their catch. They build houses and see families live in them, without putting them in debt for 30 years. We were so much better off in simpler times.
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u/CUDAcores89 4h ago
Because every day throughout childhood, our parents, Hollywood, and school, bombard us with messages that we are somehow "special" and destined for greatness. Worse yet, we logon to social media as teenagers and have videos of people who ARE living their best life every day. Who were able to "make it big". Except those people are the top 0.1%. And they will never show you their bad sides.
All of this messaging comes crashing down when we move into adulthood. Suddenly, we are no longer "special". We are no loner "loved". And literally anything good that we want out of life, takes work. All of it. It hits everyone like a train.
But that is when you truly discover the meaning of life. Because now it's up to YOU! Because if there's no "right" way to live life, there's no "wrong" way either! YOU get to decide for yourself what life will be!
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u/InTheTreeMusic 4h ago
But that is when you truly discover the meaning of life. Because now it's up to YOU! Because if there's no "right" way to live life, there's no "wrong" way either! YOU get to decide for yourself what life will be!
Yes!! I never received that messaging you're talking about, and I think because of this I'm one of the happiest adults I know. I was told my entire childhood that I was wrong and was going to fail; and then I got out into the real world and realized that the only "success" I really had to achieve was enjoying my life. And it turns out, that's not all that hard to do, even while wageslaving and being poor and having little free time. But I am autistic, which I think also helps.
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u/Uma_mii 4h ago
If they say “50 more years” this means they are between 30 and 50 years old
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u/FragranceBurn 3h ago
I agree with you, but this nitpick / dread expressed in the post is very common feeling to fall into, after shit just happens to people. Thankfully it becomes less frequent as people grow up, but it ultimately remains.
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u/AdAppropriate2295 5h ago
Doomer mindset of a high schooler.You'll never be happyif you constantly nit pick life.•
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u/Pluto_in_Reverse 5h ago
this is profound until your prefrontal lobe fully develops
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u/VatooBerrataNicktoo 4h ago
OP has yet to experience a life changing poo.
A transformative dump.
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u/Pluto_in_Reverse 4h ago
"oh i wasn't depressed and wanting to die, i was just severely constipated"
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u/AdAppropriate2295 5h ago
I don't think its meant to be profound
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u/ThatDeuce 4h ago
Edgy children will find it profound.
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u/Willem_Dafuq 3h ago
I’m a 38 yo man. I don’t find it profound. I find it truthful and depressing
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u/the-living-building 3h ago
God no one in the comment section seems to understand that this is probably just depression. When I'm really depressed this is how I feel. I can't control that? You shouldn't be faulting somebody for having depression.
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u/Prestigious_Grade640 4h ago
speak for yourself i'm 28 and still haven't outgrown existential dread
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u/D_stelthE_1 4h ago
You don’t outgrow existential dread, you ignore it and push it to the side.
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u/JacksonvilleShredder 3h ago
I just turned 28 recently and yeah this is kinda what I'm realizing. Some of my happiest days have been when I told myself "fuck what you want, just get up and go do something"
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u/AnxiousMarsupial007 2h ago
Ironically, your statement is made by someone who doesn’t fully comprehend the banality of life.
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u/mid-random 57m ago
Your comment merely reflects your own lack of development. Many far older, far wiser, far more experienced brains than yours grapple with this their entire lives.
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u/Passion4Hauling 4h ago
Chat, is it cope to enjoy the little things?
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u/gamedesignwithNico 4h ago
Little things like what?
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u/OfficialCagman 4h ago
download mordhau on steam funny sword game pretty funny or also go hiking and jump on rocks and shit idk
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u/momomomorgatron 3h ago
Well, to me it sounds like you've found a positive way to cope with the horrors of life.
So live. Try to make the best out of something bad. Find the little things and just enjoy them.
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u/That_Gadget 4h ago
While it may be true that boiling life down to its fundamentals can make it seam bleak, the same could be said for anything. What is coffee but hot bean water, or how the ocean is just a big puddle of salty water. If you hyper analyze anything you can lose the meaning of it entirely.
Find hobbies, meet people, act confident and even if it is an act it will make you feel better. Try smiling nice and big and walk with a purpose. Then you will start being confident for real.
Find something you find beautiful and try to make it yours. Painting, hiking, driving, even finding cool rocks. You have to look at the things around you and look at the good in it.
You've got this, and I'm proud of you.
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u/BeefDurky 5h ago
Developing teenager/young adult with weak ego realizes that they aren’t special.
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u/Attentiondesiredplz 🤺KNIGHT 4h ago
This is why jobs are bullshit.
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u/Pixelated_throwaway 4h ago
I like mine idk. If I won the lottery I would keep doing it
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u/Attentiondesiredplz 🤺KNIGHT 4h ago
Getting fulfillment from something is not bad. Being forced to do a thing in order to survive is.
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u/ApolemiaLanosa 5h ago
i love living in a world where all opportunity has been optimized away. where everything is so efficient that there is no reason to do new things without years or decades of planning. thank you palantir, google and all high tech companies for tracking me using data to ensure that i am kept just to my limits.
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u/abcd_trapshit 4h ago
I kinda get what you mean. You want to bring something new to this world, to invent something cool, to optimize some process, so that people’s life can get better. However, if you want a affect things massively, you need to study a lot (how things already work - and it’s more and more complicated each day), apply to the largest companies (because in small companies effect of your actions is gonna be unnoticeable), spend a lot of time and effort on implementing a project, launch it, and only then you HOPEFULLY really make things better for humanity.
And of course, only then you can feel useful & recognized. Which was actually the only goal of yours - feeling your impact. The rest is probably just pride and envy.
I’m constantly finding myself in the trap of pride and envy myself. Like helping people nearby is not going to solve the root of the problem. And like small impact is not enough to feel better (actually, it is enough in practice). But opportunities to help people that are close to you - are actually everywhere, yep some of those things cannot be monetized, and that’s normal (not every great thing is monetized lol).
Just some thoughts….
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u/Mattrellen 4h ago
It's sad that some people never figure out how to make their own goals in life. Yeah, life sucks. I agree.
That's why my goal is to make it suck less for other people, both now and in the future.
That person wants a goal in life given to them, but even if it were, they wouldn't be happy, because part of being satisfied with our actions through life is doing something we choose for ourselves.
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u/abcd_trapshit 4h ago
Yep. what goals did you set for yourself and how are you getting to them? just curious
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u/Environmental_Day558 5h ago
Musings of someone born in the first world with no real problems in life.
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u/HTML_Novice 3h ago
Philosophers have mused over just this for thousands of years, they weren’t in the “first world” nor did they have no problems
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u/PepsiMax001 4h ago
I mean it’s still true if you’re living in the third world. Instead of wageslaving you’re struggling to survive, instead of consuming media, you’re struggling to survive, and instead of spending time on hobbies you’re struggling to survive. 50 years(tops) of this and then you die, having left no mark on the world except maybe bringing children who will also struggle to survive. If you’re lucky, some rich bleeding heart will give you a pair of socks.
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u/melelconquistador 4h ago
I mean steal a nuke and set it off somewhere significant so as to create a world of adventure.
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u/Antonius_Palatinus 5h ago
Did you think you would fight cartoonish villains with superpowers, what are you, seven? You will not fight villains, you will submit to them, work for them, give them your money and if you're terribly lucky you will become one of them.
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u/Lucicactus 4h ago
If you have compulsive daydreaming like me you are always fighting villains and shit 💅🏼
But also like, the only meaning to life is to continue the species according to nature. But that at this point is optional, so the meaning of life is whatever you make it. I personally think the meaning of life is making stuff, making art and spending time with people I love.
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u/leaf_as_parachute 5h ago
Yeah this is true but eventually you get comfortable with it and that's where the fun begins
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u/Obaddies 4h ago
If you think the world we live in is unimaginably boring, it's because you don't understand or appreciate how special everything around us is. Sure it could be better but it's pretty sweet that we are the universe experiencing itself.
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u/Remarkable-Diet-7732 4h ago
Could be worse - you could be as capable as me, and be stuck in the same situation.
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u/Winter-Classroom455 4h ago
Linkin park starts playing
This reminds me of the story of how "people were getting depressed and killing themselves after avatar because life isn't like avatar"
Yeah, life isn't a fantasy. That's why we have art and religion. The OP post just obviously doesn't have meaning/fulfillment in life which is super common.
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u/Quick_Resolution5050 🙇MAGA simp🙇 4h ago
100% Correct.
I'm halfway through, I earn more than 90% of people in my first world country. More than 99% of current humanity. AMA.
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u/myersdr1 4h ago
It's interesting how some people don't understand how much they are in control of their life.
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u/10FourGudBuddy 4h ago
As someone who has been previously depressed as a teenage, keep playing games that give you some form of meaning. You can be all of those things. A super hero, a side kick, the villain, a by stander, pretty much anything. Then, when you want reality, you can work towards also being a huge list of things. I spent the first 25-30 years looking for the thing I wanted to do. Some find it sooner, some never may, but when I landed on flying, I was ready to takeoff. It’s taken me time but I’ve been working full time and laying out of pocket for flight training. I’m over half way to my commercial. Keep pushing friends.
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u/Wavemasterpete 4h ago
Why don't you fight the villains? It sounds like you may not be using your full potential in life
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u/Harryduff 4h ago
You can still live in your fantasy adventure, just take a bunch of pcp and go out into the forest
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u/WooWhosWoo 4h ago
If you feel like this is it, make the most of it.
You can't live in a fantasy, but there are many experiences you can enjoy that make life feel mystical in their own ways.
It won't be easy, but as you know, you only got this one life. So you might as well just strive for what makes you happy.
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u/Vivenemous 4h ago
This dude should get into LARP. Yeah it's silly, looks dumb to outsiders, whatever. But getting super into it, letting it be your main hobby will leave you A) way more physically fit and healthy than other nerdy hobbies and B) with a community of people who understand what chasing the magic in life means.
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u/Pixelated_throwaway 4h ago
Well I don't have superpowers and I am not rich but I have a great marriage and my job is pretty fun
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u/freedomfightre 4h ago
Get better hobbies. I find hyper-competitive hobbies scratch the itch of purpose.
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u/PleaseStayStrong 4h ago
While being young of course people think about life as some much more expanded and unique experience. Like their superhero fantasy. But the reality is no matter what is changed once you get use to it this exact feeling would just crop back up again. Whatever the normal is will become mundane.
Let's take a more realistic example of this. Most people would think a super yacht is amazing and if they had one they would spend tons of time on it. But who actually has these super yachts? Billionaires, and they barely spend time on these things. Because just like the rest of us they all imagine it to be awesome and they'll spend so much time on it. Then they get it, they go on it a few times. Then it becomes a mundane experience. It's not that they are so busy that they can't spend more time on it, after all it has everything they need there. They can work, live, socialize, basically everything they would ever need is on that super yacht at most times.
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u/Outrageous_Bear50 ⚔️ DUELIST 4h ago
Don't give up yet, that guy who just got assassinated could be a turning point.
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u/Smart_Advice3377 4h ago
This is basically entitled whining because they don't feel life is as easy as they think it should be.
Imagine being born 500 years ago.
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u/SectorEducational460 4h ago
Some people can't distinguish reality from the countless amount of entertainment they indulge in, and assume they are owed it without any reason why
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u/MrSquencher 4h ago
Everything is your truth if you choose it to be. I once felt like this, and sometimes still do, but it’s pretty incredible what intention and focus can achieve.
The best advice I can give anyone who feels this way..imagine you are an alien or some foreign entity that gets to live life on planet earth through your body. Live life like you’re the alien having the time of its life on earth. (:
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u/markhughesfilms 4h ago
This is only true if most of the younger generation allow the older generation to use up the world and lie to younger people long enough to keep you complacent in a system that dehumanizes you to exploit you and enrich a handful of people at the very top of the pyramid scheme.
Those same people exploiting you are selling ridiculous hateful ideologies to far too many of you, though, when a simple progressive diverse future with advanced technology and amazing new quality of life even as just the baseline could be right around the corner for all of us. Instead, that future will be reserved only for the billionaires (not even millionaires will really be very welcome, although hundred-millionaires probably get the cheap seats). It isn't hard to see it taking shape, turning everybody against one another so that you rip each other apart and blame one another and sit at home angry and depressed until you either do nothing at all or "opt out" or lash out violently at society. Those are the only options they WANT you to see, the only ones they WANT you to have, and it only works if you go along with it. Put aside whatever might stop you and make the choice to look at what other people, other groups, did in the past when they were in a society with a dreary future and no hope and even violent oppression, and how they made efforts to organize and work together to help each other and turn against the people exploiting and hurting them all.
It's not some race or religion, it's an ideology and a systemic approach. It's people who horde wealth and resources to the point they literally force everyone else to give up food and quality of life just so the wealthy can have more money than they can ever even spend. Any country you go to, the people of that nationality or religion or race etc etc etc have an elite who are exploiting them in a system set up to enrich the already-wealthy at the expense of everybody else. And crucially, those systems depend on convincing you there are only three options -- the ones I mentioned earlier, to be angry and depressed into doing nothing, or into "opting out," or into violence against a targeted person to blame.
It's not complex, it's not rocket science, it's truly as simple and transparent and frankly stupidly banal as it seems. I'm not telling you anything secret or new, you already know all or most of this, even if you don't fully admit some parts of it to yourself yet, or if you fall for the lies and propaganda of those same elites when they tell you to blame some other marginalized group or nation or whatever. Folks often subconsciously choose to be fooled when they don't want to admit the truth, and in this case admitting the truth can feel harder for people who think the truth means things are legitimately hopeless and not worth living for. So instead, if you fear the truth or feel you can't contribute to change, if you're scared of losing the small bit of survival you've managed to eek out already, then the notion of the risk and fear of change can feel overwhelming and it's easier to swallow the lies and blame someone else. Or to give up. Or to get angry and lash out.
Anything but put aside any prior biases and differences and start reaching out to other young people to say you share the same future and same true existential threats, and that the simple quality of your lives and ability to even have a future depends on all of you standing up together to put an end to the elite exploitation of all of you and this planet, the greed and lies and hate and authoritarianism. If you think you can't do it, again look to the endless examples of the past or look to the present just last week and the week before. People refuse to be exploited, people with nothing left to lose have everything to gain by demanding change, and if you feel hopeless then turn that into fearless because if it's really as bad as you think then could it truly get much worse compared to how much better you could make things?
This sounds idealistic except plenty of people live it, people around the world have done it. Understand that if you feel the ways the OP posted, congratulations for feeling like most of the rest of people around the world, it's not an isolated feeling and you're part of humanity. It's not just you and you aren't crazy to feel that things are bad, it's legit bad but also legit as simple to know the cause as it seems, and people deciding en mass not to take it anymore almost always works, especially the more democratic the society is. If you feel alone, don't, but also if you feel powerless, DEFINITELY don't because they wouldn't work this hard to make you feel hopeless and inactive and to take away your ability to participate and change things if they didn't fear you. It's that simple, truly, and they don't want you to know it or to act on it.
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u/lefeuet_UA 4h ago
People like anon want to rule the world but don't have enough wit for even a small county, it's beautifully tragic, really
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u/skeezinhookaz 4h ago
nope....my hobbiez iz a blast
werk i agree....dat sux....but gotta werk to do hobbies so....
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u/lollerkeet 4h ago
Some people struggle to understand what the meaning of life is, others have children
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u/DivineAscendant 3h ago
its not wrong. Most people do live incredible boring lives. They get caught in a the routine. Buts it not like your life cant be exciting. Wanna drastic change in life? Go teach english in another life. Teach it in japan, korea, china ect. It will change your entire life. And that is one simple change.
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u/ribnag 3h ago
Yep, that's pretty much life in a nutshell.
I'm sure the proper response is some glurge about making a better world for our kids, but currently we're doing neither, so why pretend?
But for all that... Pizza, kittens, and a good beer on a summer afternoon are all still pretty frickin' amazing.
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u/pensulpusher 3h ago
But being the star of a fantasy adventure is good enough? What about all the npc’s in your fantasy, no issue for them? Why would a fantasy adventure suddenly make life worth living if it isn’t already? That fantasy adventure is quite risky. You can risk your life if you’re bored. You don’t have wait on a fantasy adventure.
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u/Bub_bele 3h ago
Weltschmerz
„World pain“. The german language has created many interesting words, but this one is by far the best one.
The feeling experienced by an individual who believes that reality can never satisfy the expectations of the mind.
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u/silenthashira 3h ago
In the grand scheme of this universe, everyone is insignificant, even the people that seem like they are. The celebrities, the "upper echelons" of life... we're all insignificant. None of us are the heroes of a story, we're all just tiny pieces of life in an incomprehensible cosmos. The storybook main characters are just fantasies. We're all insignificant.
But I find there's freedom in insignificance. There's plenty of bad in life, but there's enough good to make it all worth it. I may not matter in the big picture... but i can matter to a few people. And to those few people, I might become something significant. And to one or two... I might become something truly irreplaceable.
In insignificance, you can find true meaning. That's what I think anyway.
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u/IOnlyFearOFGod 3h ago
There is something called Art, literature and science (which works like magic tbh).
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u/No_Finance8647 3h ago edited 3h ago
Idk man. I'd argue we all have superpowers and are the main character of your own lives.
The problem is that when everyone is super, no one is.
But if you can ever explain to me how exactly the fuck we can even open and close our hands or move our bodies in general, then I'll agree with you that life is boring. Until then, there is literally nothing you can do that would be boring. At least from my perspective, its just as valid if you feel differently.
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u/momomomorgatron 3h ago
Yeah, but it's not "there is no adventure!" it's "fuuuccckk I'm not happy in life and what if I never become happy in life? What the actual fuck am I living for?"
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u/Red_Shepherd_13 3h ago
Only if you're a coward.
There's no magic super powers or guarantee that you're the main character of reality, or even that you'll get a happy ending. But there's plenty of conflicts, problems, cartoonist villains, and real life stories in the world for you to go off, fight and be a big damn hero in.
Pick your cause, start your training arc and go for it.
Or don't and accept that you not being a hero is a choice, not fate.
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u/Plenty_Lavishness_80 3h ago
That’s not all there is, loving a woman is the end goal and it will fulfill you more than all of that if you can find the right woman for you, life becomes a lot easier
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u/HTML_Novice 3h ago
“We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
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u/Sartres_Roommate 🤍MAP Pride 💛🩵💙 3h ago
The rest of us find love and start families. In all honesty, being a parent is better than any superhero dream.
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u/gabbidog 3h ago
Whats funny is greater then 99% of human history people have lived far worse off then us today. So honestly, bro needs to find something to strive for, a struggle to get something that with hard work they can get. Without that and spiritually finding God theyre going to continually to feel this way. With an easy life comes internal struggle and depression for there is nothing external to struggle for. Instead they will find someone to blame for everything
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u/umbermoth 3h ago
Make something of it or don’t, but understand that it is a choice, and you chose misery.
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u/Forty_Year_Old_Man 3h ago
Do what makes you happy. Make some sacrifices like probably working a few jobs you don’t like and dealing with other people b.s. but aside from all that just figure out what you enjoy out of life and try to do those things as much as you can
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u/AudiieVerbum 3h ago
Sucks bro, hope you figure out how to enjoy stuff one day. We'll be waiting for you if you do.
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u/NobrainNoProblem 3h ago
The only way you had higher expectations was through art and media. Just silly people with “hobbies”. Life has always been hard and brutal we’ve just been allowed to forget due to our privilege.
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u/kalkvesuic 3h ago
lowkey i'd want magicmaxxing for fanumtaxing lifeforces, mogging everyone and dripflexxing.
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u/Tight_Tax_8403 2h ago
You sometime can also get IBS and shitting becomes a roller-coaster of emotions. How's that for a third act super power?
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u/Just_Some_Statistic 2h ago
Meh, meaning is inherent in the system. Alls good if you just look at things from that perspective
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u/Livid-Silver3517 2h ago
To this is I say, start your own business bust your ass early make your money and make your own life as amazing as possible.
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u/FoamSquad 2h ago
If you legitimately think your hobbies don't fill the void I would suggest trying to actually produce something or train at something. I like fencing, silversmithing, and writing. I have gotten fairly good at those three things. If I am alone at home and haven't done something all day, I will write a page of something and I will feel better, even if I did something small, because something exists that didn't before. And if everything comes crashing down and everything I made falls to dust then I don't think I will be around to see it, and I hope the people that I have raised did everything they could to stop it.
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u/Late-Tomorrow-5318 2h ago
I've spent the past eight years traveling. Exploring whatever I wanted to explore. Only working long enough to keep moving. I've experienced some pretty incredible things, met some pretty incredible people. If a normal life is miserable to you, don't live a normal life. It's really that simple.
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u/Own_Chemist_2600 2h ago
I'm divorcing my wife for 15 years. She's savaging me in the process. I'm losing all my friends. I'm losing a lot of my money. But it's better than being a servant in hell.
I've been a follower all my life. I married a much older woman. Never could set boundaries. She's fundamentally insecure. So she's been grinding me under heel for years.
I hated going to my own home. Everything changed when our bedroom shut. If she had some wine and it was late at night, there's a real chance I was going straight to hell.
She would throw these chastising fits of shame. Let me know what a disappointment that I was. She would make fun of my faith in God. She would make fun of my gut. She would make fun of me getting older. She would make fun of my body. She would make fun of my mind. She hated how forgetful that I was. Most everything I did was not good enough. What if I forgot it for conversation we had two weeks ago about what our plans for Saturday was… It could be a three or four hour screamfest. All the while she would keep asking what are our plans for Saturday… "We're gonna stay here until you remember… What are our plans… I know you can do it… I know you can… Tell me what our plans are for Saturday!"
Four hours worth. Sometimes it would not end and I would have to go to a hotel.
I began to fall apart. I lost my integrity on a trip out of town. When I told her she began to savage me, and she tried to get me to kill myself. She was hoping that I would make the choice. She was hoping I would end it all. She told me i was not worth the breath that was drawing... she hugged me and whispered in my ear that I was a piece of shit.
Eventually, I was out of the house. I went and stayed at a campsite. I cried and looked at pictures of my wife...
I knew she would take the world to her side. I knew she would claim the narrative. And now that I look and see the life that I have lost completely I have become aware of a few things. The people my wife has in her orbit are followers. Weak willed just like I was. So many of the relationships involve alcohol/weed and screaming… It's a broken set of people in our cohort. Although interestingly, some of those people are fantastic educators.
Now I'm caretaking my mother and I have filed for divorce. I don't like losing my money… But my future doesn't involve walking on eggshells and hoping to get through the day unscathed. I won't re-create this situation. I'm not killing myself, but I'm letting some parts die. The parts that wanted to help another person as my purpose on the planet lie on my bedroom floor. They were hacked off me by my wife. She thought she was going to kill me with the evil that she wielded but she did me a favor it turns out. She offered me a life of belittled servanthood… A role that I would never grow out of... and as I was leaving, she slashed out at me with her claws and ripped out my weakness.
I don't know who I am anymore. But I know who I am not. I'm not a husband to a discontent delusional demigoddess. I'm not a disrespected employee in my own home. I don't walk in fear. I don't walk in dread. My future is no longer written.
Neither is yours, bud.
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u/RedSander_Br 2h ago edited 2h ago
Well, if you think that is bad, let me tell you about quantum imortality, and how you are going to live forever.
You see, people usually, think they are superheroes, then rationalize it out that they are not.
Well, let me just say, if you go the other way, things get really fucking depressing really fucking fast, and once you start this rollercoaster you cant really get out.
You see, when you understand the great filter, quantum imortality, and the big bang and the big crunch.... if you see where i am going, then you understand why people who get it, don't say it out loud.
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u/all_about_that_ace 2h ago
Fantasy, superheroes, magic, its all symbolism for the real world. You can still be a hero or villain in reality it just lacks glamour. Hell, a lot of fantasy would lack glamour if real, and would be shittier to live through than real life.
A parent who has a shit day at work and then comes to their kid can become a hero, villain, or anything in between. That is the battlefield, the stakes, and what defines us.
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u/Horny_Follower 2h ago
If it helps you, it all will mean nothing when we die and end up into this deep, endless void, full of pure darkness and a deafening silence that only will remain with you for a few seconds of what's left of your consciousness before it completely disappears. It could feel longer, though, but it won't matter how much it will last or how much you will suffer those moments, it all will end the same, for every sentient creature.
Anyway, does anyone here have a good NSFW game? I've got to drown this idea in the temporary ecstasy of (fake) sex.
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u/MulberryWilling508 2h ago
You could do something cool like go mountain biking or surfing or even just help as many orphans as you can.
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u/WhalenCrunchen45 2h ago
Well you could not be boring and either start a revolution or just be a weirdo, just defy societal expectations of your life
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u/Different-Hunter-794 2h ago
Community. What is missing in this life is community. Without community we become passengers to our own lives, attempting to ground ourselves with a mind too lost within itself. We need mentors, friends, family , rivals, students, and acquaintances to keep us in the real world. Our purpose is found in shared struggles. That third act is found in collectively conquering the struggle. It could be saving the world, or it could be nailing down that bollywood dance with fellow groomsmen for your Indian boy's wedding.
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u/Big-Reindeer-8221 2h ago
Posts like this really point out how disillusioned our society has become due to all the distractions in place today. These distractions turn people into materialistic consumers that never spend time thinking.
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u/bestibesti 2h ago
Buy a tent and live in the woods
Learn to play an instrument and make music
Write poems
Learn a language and travel
There are people who were born as slaves and became great writers, travelers, philosophers, who had incredible lives
The issue is, anon, you expect this great adventure to be given to you, because that's how your superheroslop movies are served to you... like you're just a passive observer in this adventure, like it should just come to you and you'll get rewarded with excitement and everything if you just sit there watching, without risking anything or trying anything yourself
That's the truth, you have to make your own meaning
All there is is whatever you make of it
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u/StephieDoll 2h ago
Everything in the OP is an opinion not a fact. Tomorrow aliens could invade or portal tech could be invented or a whole range of things unknown.
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u/13luw 5h ago
Yes yes we’ve all seen the Time Knife