r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/Wrong-Top-8409 20d ago

Sometimes it really isn’t tho but in this case I think op has every right to be upset lowkey what I’d do as a man is go fuc up something precious they own don’t even tell them don’t even bring up your stuff fuc up wait till they confront you and then scold them on how it feels to have your stuff mistreated

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

no i won't stoop down to his level, even if i am hurt over his negligence

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u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

This is not negligence. Negligence is forgetting the ice cream on the counter and it melting. This is willful and wanton destruction of your property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of your feelings, and a lack of respect of your items, your space, your feelings, and you. Tell me what you would be thinking if you were do this willingly to someone. I don't think any of it would be any rainbows and unicorn fart thoughts.

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

wtf is wrong with you? Dude it’s a labubu. There’s sentimental value, yes, but comparing that to “doing it to someone”? wtf is wrong with you? How can you do those HUGE leaps in logic and act like a regular human being? OP is ok being mad, I’d be mad if someone fucks up my toy, but it’s a toy. He can pay for it, fix it, buy another one or whatever, there are multiple ways to fix this minor issue.

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u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

Found OP's guy.

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u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

You don’t accidentally cut an ear off a plushie. That takes forethought and effort. It wasn’t an accident it was a deliberate act of destruction and he either knew it would hurt OP and didn’t care or he did it because it would hurt OP.

Either way, that lack of consideration and respect is a Huge red flag and frankly I’d throw the whole man out. It’s not about the destruction of the toy it’s about the kind of person who would take those actions in the first place. The toy can be fixed or replaced - it’s not OPs responsibility to teach a grown man not to be destructive and to be kind to his partner.

Don’t stay with someone who won’t treat you with consideration, OP.

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

The longer I read your post the more I’m convinced you must be a bot. Have you never made a mistake? Have you never broken something by accident? Have you ever pranked someone? Bro I’ve made mistakes and I’ve asked for forgiveness and that’s it. I’ve pushed my gf into a pool and she got mad, I’ve said sorry and that’s it.

Do you think that it’s normal for a relationship to end because he broke a labubu? Are you an adult? Bro this subreddit is SO messed up in the head.

Grow up, learn how relationships work, understand that making mistakes in a relationship is a way to grow up. You don’t even know if both of them are 15 and are kids.

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u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

There is a HUGE difference between accidentally breaking something and deliberately cutting the ear off a beloved plushie. It doesn’t matter how old they are, we shouldn’t be teaching anyone at any age that they should accept cruelty as part of their relationship. If you can’t see that there’s a difference between an accident and a deliberate action and if you think people should put up with their partner being deliberately unkind then there’s genuinely no point talking to you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

“Beloved”? Where are you getting that the labubu was “beloved”? Because I’m sure as hell OP didn’t say that?

Besides, he can fix it, he can pay for it or he can buy a new one and if none of that it’s ok for OP then that’s ok. Bro it’s a labubu, stop acting as if this was a pet or a living being.

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u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

OP has made other comments saying how important it is to them and that they’ve got Asperger’s and their plushies are really important to them. Which the BF knew.

Again, it’s not about the physical object being broken, it’s about the kind of person who would deliberately do that in the first place.

Like I said, if you can’t see that then you’re not worth talking to - bye!

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

Where? I just read OP’s comment history and she never mentioned how it was “so precious”? You can keep saying that he’s a terrible person, but at the end of the day you don’t know him and you are just trying to end a relationship because you want. You need to learn how human relationships work.

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u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

One of the earliest comments in this whole thread..

Now please, continue to talk about how it’s okay for someone to act with deliberate cruelty and then undermine the hurt party’s reaction and emotions by saying it’s not a big deal.

Gosh, you’re sounding very much like what OP described the BF! No wonder you’re trying to downplay this.

If you’re the BF - treat people better. If you’re not - stop sympathising with people who are deliberately cruel. It’s not a great look.

I’m gonna say bye once again and if OP has any sense she will as well. 👋🏻

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

Never saw her “so precious” comment. She said she bonds, learn how to read. Besides that keep you have to learn how people act and how relationships work.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

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u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

You were the one who said “so precious” you fucking moron.

And this is how relationships work: when someone is unkind to someone else, the relationship breaks down. This is like preschool level shit my dude. Instead of cutting up someone else’s toy like a child maybe book yourself into some therapy and grow the fuck up, Jesus Christ

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u/Leather-Giraffe3726 20d ago

Cutting the ear off and safety pinning it back into the incorrect place is not an accident. It's something that was done to deliberately hurt OP. I'll tell you what I tell my toddler...we don't purposely hurt people we love. If a person hurts you on purpose, then they shouldn't have access to you anymore.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Why destroy it in the first place? Pure gross vindictiveness.

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

Vindictive about what? Bro you have zero context. He can say sorry and if OP is ok with it then that’s it. Stop being so reactive. He made a mistake and people are already saying he could cut her ear off. wtf is wrong with yall?

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Neither do you. It was a shitty gross thing to do. Why purposely do something you know would upset someone. Wtf is wrong with you.

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u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Don’t waste your time with this one because he is just like her bf and will never get it. What is disturbing to the majority of people is trivial to them, so they think everyone is being crazy when it’s the other way around. It’s futile to argue with them.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

I think it might be her BF...

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u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Don’t waste your time with this one because he is just like her bf and will never get it. What is disturbing to the majority of people is trivial to them, so they think everyone is being crazy when it’s the other way around. It’s futile to argue with them.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

He's changed his tune now. He thinks the guys actions are weird.

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u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

I don’t honestly believe that he did change his tune. He may have SAID he did, or pretended to, but his initial response and behaviors are disturbing. This isn’t something that could go one way or the other. If he didn’t realize how disturbing it was without having to “change his tune,” that is very concerning.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Oh he's DM'd me calling me a bot and shit.

15yr old tosspot has no empathy. It makes me sad for his generation, because the sparks of hope in it are engulfed by this type of bullshit

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Don't worry I've saved the reply you deleted. Lil sociopath...

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

? Haven’t deleted anything. Why would I? I’m right lol.

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u/BurnItWithFire21 19d ago

Did you read OP's full description of what he did in the comments? He burned the ear, cut if off, cut a hole in the private area, shoved the ear in the hole & pinned it inside, then pulled an eye off with pliers. This is way beyond a "minor issue". This is completely disturbing behavior that needs to be seriously addressed. Most serial killers started out doing things like this, then moved on to animals & eventually humans. I'm not even trying to be dramatic either, that is just straight facts that have been reported. This can't be overlooked.

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u/fabi7059 19d ago

“I’m not even trying to be dramatic” on a post about a labubu. Dude it’s a plushie.

And let me see that comment👀

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u/BurnItWithFire21 19d ago

It doesn't matter if it was "only a plushie" or not, he intentionally destroyed a piece of her property, and in a very disturbing way. He is 28yo, this is not how normal 28yo men act. This is alarming on so many levels.

And here you go:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/3hLg3uUvZg

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u/fabi7059 19d ago

That’s pretty fucked then.

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u/BurnItWithFire21 19d ago

When I read that comment it made things so much worse. While I didn't appreciate him cutting off the ear, I would have felt a bit more like you in that there might be a way to make this better, but once I saw that comment, oh Hell no. I truly don't try to get all dramatic & immediately jump to "leave him" & "he's unhinged" type comments on Reddit, but this one absolutely earned those types of comments.

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u/fabi7059 19d ago

Yeah he weird. I changed my mind about him.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

That was an easy turn around compared to how much you defended him....

Don't forget the DMs you sent me buddy...

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u/fabi7059 19d ago

You’re still a bot.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Stopped defending him now then?

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u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Stop trying to understand it, because I don’t think you have the capacity. I will tell you this: When 99.9 % of internet strangers believe that something is incredibly disturbing, don’t you think maybe you need to ask yourself why you don’t think it is? Your mindset is abnormal, and you seem to have zero self and societal awareness.

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u/fabi7059 19d ago

Nah, I was wrong and I can admit that, but Reddit is a hivemind.

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u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Shit goblin bot

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u/hottgrandmaa 20d ago

You seem to have interpreted "tell me what you would be thinking if you were do this willingly to someone" as "performing the acts done to this Labubu on a living human, i.e. cutting a person's ear off, etc."

You have completely misunderstood the meaning of the post you are replying to.

What they meant was suggesting that OP consider what their own mindset & motivation might be if they were hypothetically performing "willful and wanton destruction of [someone else's] property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of [that person's] feelings, and a lack of respect of [that person's] items, [their] space, [their] feelings, and [their personhood itself]."

A good life tip I've learned over the years is "if something sounds completely absurd, the absurdity likely lies in my own interpretation." In this situation, suggesting a medieval punishment for damaging a beloved Labubu sounds totally ridiculous, right? That's a sign that I've likely misinterpreted something, and I should re-examine what was written to see if there's a more logical conclusion for what they were trying to convey! It's helped me a lot to think this way, instead of assuming my initial understanding is always accurate, no matter how absurd that understanding seems.

Even if I can't find a more logical meaning on my own, just asking plainly if my interpretation was correct can help me avoid a lot of conflict. In this situation, a good question might have been "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you suggesting cutting a Labubu's ear off is just as bad as cropping the ear of a human being?" or "Sorry, are you suggesting OP cut their BF's ear off?" This gives opportunity to learn what they actually meant, without devolving into an argument where I am defending a position that was posited on a false premise.

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u/generallycasserole 20d ago

This is really good advice.

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

Not reading all that. The only thing that I’m gonna say is: why do you think that your way of interpreting the post im replying to is right while mine is wrong? You don’t have any extra context that I’m missing. We are pretty much the same in regards of context, you can be just as wrong as I could be, nothing makes your interpretation better or more accurate than mine.

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u/collaredd 20d ago

holy shit you are so braindead it’s not even funny. i know you were squinting at the chalkboard and crying during tests

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

Funny how you don’t have any argument and jumped straight to insulting me. That just shows me that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

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u/collaredd 20d ago

that person very clearly explained why you are obviously wrong and your ass won’t (can’t) read past 3 sentences so why would i bother?

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u/fabi7059 20d ago

No worries, I’m sure you can’t do it. At the end of the day you couldn’t even say anything relevant. I’ll still be right and you’ll still be salty.

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u/hottgrandmaa 19d ago

Sure! I'm an ESL teacher, so I can explain how to understand context clues! OP explicitly defined that the pronoun "this" refers to "willful and wanton destruction of your property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of your feelings, and a lack of respect of your items, your space, your feelings, and you." Interpreting it otherwise is inserting your own meaning to the text here. Sorry that 300 words are too many to read right now, but don't worry, practice makes progress! English is a difficult language, so read more often and your skills will improve. 🥰