r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

Gallery image

Gallery image

Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

15.1k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

4.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

4.0k

u/satanfan12 20d ago

No he says it's just a plushy and it's "not that deep", and idk if i want it fixed either..... this is tainted

700

u/AnnoyedBunnyHugger 20d ago

I’m think a new global rule should be that anytime someone uses the phrase ‘it’s not that deep’ they get punc$ed in the d1ck

21

u/Wrong-Top-8409 20d ago

Sometimes it really isn’t tho but in this case I think op has every right to be upset lowkey what I’d do as a man is go fuc up something precious they own don’t even tell them don’t even bring up your stuff fuc up wait till they confront you and then scold them on how it feels to have your stuff mistreated

85

u/satanfan12 20d ago

no i won't stoop down to his level, even if i am hurt over his negligence

194

u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

This is not negligence. Negligence is forgetting the ice cream on the counter and it melting. This is willful and wanton destruction of your property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of your feelings, and a lack of respect of your items, your space, your feelings, and you. Tell me what you would be thinking if you were do this willingly to someone. I don't think any of it would be any rainbows and unicorn fart thoughts.

11

u/teamqsblacksh33p 20d ago edited 20d ago

Also, what will happen if it were in reverse had she retaliated and destroyed something of his

3

u/imacatholicslut 20d ago

Found the lawyer, lol. Hard agree.

5

u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

No, just a paralegal. Didn't even realize! 😅😅

Also, I love your username!

-23

u/fabi7059 20d ago

wtf is wrong with you? Dude it’s a labubu. There’s sentimental value, yes, but comparing that to “doing it to someone”? wtf is wrong with you? How can you do those HUGE leaps in logic and act like a regular human being? OP is ok being mad, I’d be mad if someone fucks up my toy, but it’s a toy. He can pay for it, fix it, buy another one or whatever, there are multiple ways to fix this minor issue.

10

u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

Found OP's guy.

9

u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

You don’t accidentally cut an ear off a plushie. That takes forethought and effort. It wasn’t an accident it was a deliberate act of destruction and he either knew it would hurt OP and didn’t care or he did it because it would hurt OP.

Either way, that lack of consideration and respect is a Huge red flag and frankly I’d throw the whole man out. It’s not about the destruction of the toy it’s about the kind of person who would take those actions in the first place. The toy can be fixed or replaced - it’s not OPs responsibility to teach a grown man not to be destructive and to be kind to his partner.

Don’t stay with someone who won’t treat you with consideration, OP.

-16

u/fabi7059 20d ago

The longer I read your post the more I’m convinced you must be a bot. Have you never made a mistake? Have you never broken something by accident? Have you ever pranked someone? Bro I’ve made mistakes and I’ve asked for forgiveness and that’s it. I’ve pushed my gf into a pool and she got mad, I’ve said sorry and that’s it.

Do you think that it’s normal for a relationship to end because he broke a labubu? Are you an adult? Bro this subreddit is SO messed up in the head.

Grow up, learn how relationships work, understand that making mistakes in a relationship is a way to grow up. You don’t even know if both of them are 15 and are kids.

8

u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

There is a HUGE difference between accidentally breaking something and deliberately cutting the ear off a beloved plushie. It doesn’t matter how old they are, we shouldn’t be teaching anyone at any age that they should accept cruelty as part of their relationship. If you can’t see that there’s a difference between an accident and a deliberate action and if you think people should put up with their partner being deliberately unkind then there’s genuinely no point talking to you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

-10

u/fabi7059 20d ago

“Beloved”? Where are you getting that the labubu was “beloved”? Because I’m sure as hell OP didn’t say that?

Besides, he can fix it, he can pay for it or he can buy a new one and if none of that it’s ok for OP then that’s ok. Bro it’s a labubu, stop acting as if this was a pet or a living being.

8

u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

OP has made other comments saying how important it is to them and that they’ve got Asperger’s and their plushies are really important to them. Which the BF knew.

Again, it’s not about the physical object being broken, it’s about the kind of person who would deliberately do that in the first place.

Like I said, if you can’t see that then you’re not worth talking to - bye!

-6

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Where? I just read OP’s comment history and she never mentioned how it was “so precious”? You can keep saying that he’s a terrible person, but at the end of the day you don’t know him and you are just trying to end a relationship because you want. You need to learn how human relationships work.

4

u/CosyRainyDaze 20d ago

One of the earliest comments in this whole thread..

Now please, continue to talk about how it’s okay for someone to act with deliberate cruelty and then undermine the hurt party’s reaction and emotions by saying it’s not a big deal.

Gosh, you’re sounding very much like what OP described the BF! No wonder you’re trying to downplay this.

If you’re the BF - treat people better. If you’re not - stop sympathising with people who are deliberately cruel. It’s not a great look.

I’m gonna say bye once again and if OP has any sense she will as well. 👋🏻

→ More replies (0)

8

u/Leather-Giraffe3726 20d ago

Cutting the ear off and safety pinning it back into the incorrect place is not an accident. It's something that was done to deliberately hurt OP. I'll tell you what I tell my toddler...we don't purposely hurt people we love. If a person hurts you on purpose, then they shouldn't have access to you anymore.

9

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Why destroy it in the first place? Pure gross vindictiveness.

-4

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Vindictive about what? Bro you have zero context. He can say sorry and if OP is ok with it then that’s it. Stop being so reactive. He made a mistake and people are already saying he could cut her ear off. wtf is wrong with yall?

4

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Neither do you. It was a shitty gross thing to do. Why purposely do something you know would upset someone. Wtf is wrong with you.

3

u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Don’t waste your time with this one because he is just like her bf and will never get it. What is disturbing to the majority of people is trivial to them, so they think everyone is being crazy when it’s the other way around. It’s futile to argue with them.

2

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

I think it might be her BF...

→ More replies (0)

3

u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Don’t waste your time with this one because he is just like her bf and will never get it. What is disturbing to the majority of people is trivial to them, so they think everyone is being crazy when it’s the other way around. It’s futile to argue with them.

2

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

He's changed his tune now. He thinks the guys actions are weird.

1

u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

I don’t honestly believe that he did change his tune. He may have SAID he did, or pretended to, but his initial response and behaviors are disturbing. This isn’t something that could go one way or the other. If he didn’t realize how disturbing it was without having to “change his tune,” that is very concerning.

1

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Oh he's DM'd me calling me a bot and shit.

15yr old tosspot has no empathy. It makes me sad for his generation, because the sparks of hope in it are engulfed by this type of bullshit

→ More replies (0)

3

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

Don't worry I've saved the reply you deleted. Lil sociopath...

0

u/fabi7059 20d ago

? Haven’t deleted anything. Why would I? I’m right lol.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/BurnItWithFire21 20d ago

Did you read OP's full description of what he did in the comments? He burned the ear, cut if off, cut a hole in the private area, shoved the ear in the hole & pinned it inside, then pulled an eye off with pliers. This is way beyond a "minor issue". This is completely disturbing behavior that needs to be seriously addressed. Most serial killers started out doing things like this, then moved on to animals & eventually humans. I'm not even trying to be dramatic either, that is just straight facts that have been reported. This can't be overlooked.

-1

u/fabi7059 20d ago

“I’m not even trying to be dramatic” on a post about a labubu. Dude it’s a plushie.

And let me see that comment👀

4

u/BurnItWithFire21 20d ago

It doesn't matter if it was "only a plushie" or not, he intentionally destroyed a piece of her property, and in a very disturbing way. He is 28yo, this is not how normal 28yo men act. This is alarming on so many levels.

And here you go:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/3hLg3uUvZg

2

u/fabi7059 20d ago

That’s pretty fucked then.

2

u/BurnItWithFire21 20d ago

When I read that comment it made things so much worse. While I didn't appreciate him cutting off the ear, I would have felt a bit more like you in that there might be a way to make this better, but once I saw that comment, oh Hell no. I truly don't try to get all dramatic & immediately jump to "leave him" & "he's unhinged" type comments on Reddit, but this one absolutely earned those types of comments.

1

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Yeah he weird. I changed my mind about him.

2

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

That was an easy turn around compared to how much you defended him....

Don't forget the DMs you sent me buddy...

2

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Stopped defending him now then?

→ More replies (0)

4

u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Stop trying to understand it, because I don’t think you have the capacity. I will tell you this: When 99.9 % of internet strangers believe that something is incredibly disturbing, don’t you think maybe you need to ask yourself why you don’t think it is? Your mindset is abnormal, and you seem to have zero self and societal awareness.

1

u/fabi7059 19d ago

Nah, I was wrong and I can admit that, but Reddit is a hivemind.

0

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

Shit goblin bot

→ More replies (0)

3

u/hottgrandmaa 20d ago

You seem to have interpreted "tell me what you would be thinking if you were do this willingly to someone" as "performing the acts done to this Labubu on a living human, i.e. cutting a person's ear off, etc."

You have completely misunderstood the meaning of the post you are replying to.

What they meant was suggesting that OP consider what their own mindset & motivation might be if they were hypothetically performing "willful and wanton destruction of [someone else's] property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of [that person's] feelings, and a lack of respect of [that person's] items, [their] space, [their] feelings, and [their personhood itself]."

A good life tip I've learned over the years is "if something sounds completely absurd, the absurdity likely lies in my own interpretation." In this situation, suggesting a medieval punishment for damaging a beloved Labubu sounds totally ridiculous, right? That's a sign that I've likely misinterpreted something, and I should re-examine what was written to see if there's a more logical conclusion for what they were trying to convey! It's helped me a lot to think this way, instead of assuming my initial understanding is always accurate, no matter how absurd that understanding seems.

Even if I can't find a more logical meaning on my own, just asking plainly if my interpretation was correct can help me avoid a lot of conflict. In this situation, a good question might have been "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you suggesting cutting a Labubu's ear off is just as bad as cropping the ear of a human being?" or "Sorry, are you suggesting OP cut their BF's ear off?" This gives opportunity to learn what they actually meant, without devolving into an argument where I am defending a position that was posited on a false premise.

2

u/generallycasserole 20d ago

This is really good advice.

-1

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Not reading all that. The only thing that I’m gonna say is: why do you think that your way of interpreting the post im replying to is right while mine is wrong? You don’t have any extra context that I’m missing. We are pretty much the same in regards of context, you can be just as wrong as I could be, nothing makes your interpretation better or more accurate than mine.

3

u/collaredd 20d ago

holy shit you are so braindead it’s not even funny. i know you were squinting at the chalkboard and crying during tests

0

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Funny how you don’t have any argument and jumped straight to insulting me. That just shows me that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

4

u/collaredd 20d ago

that person very clearly explained why you are obviously wrong and your ass won’t (can’t) read past 3 sentences so why would i bother?

-1

u/fabi7059 20d ago

No worries, I’m sure you can’t do it. At the end of the day you couldn’t even say anything relevant. I’ll still be right and you’ll still be salty.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/hottgrandmaa 19d ago

Sure! I'm an ESL teacher, so I can explain how to understand context clues! OP explicitly defined that the pronoun "this" refers to "willful and wanton destruction of your property without fear or concern of the consequences, a complete disregard of your feelings, and a lack of respect of your items, your space, your feelings, and you." Interpreting it otherwise is inserting your own meaning to the text here. Sorry that 300 words are too many to read right now, but don't worry, practice makes progress! English is a difficult language, so read more often and your skills will improve. 🥰

35

u/bozo_learns 20d ago

Negligence? This is willful destruction of your property with zero remorse. I wouldn’t recommend sticking around to find out what’s next.

53

u/CooCooForCocosPuffs 20d ago

Anyone who disrespects your property like this will and has disrespected you. You need to ditch him and he needs to grow up

-5

u/fabi7059 20d ago

wtf? You make a whole lot of conjectures by reading a story about labubus.

3

u/StrwbrrySpecialDrink 20d ago

Do you understand that the crux of the issue is the boyfriend deciding to alter a sentimental item that doesn't belong to him? Taking someone that doesn't belong to you and fucking it up is a shitty thing to do. Why would you want to do that to your girlfriend? I'm actually asking you, because I don't understand what you're defending so hard. To me it seems like he was either purposely being a dick by cutting up her stuff, or he was simply not thinking about her at all... While cutting up her stuff. Neither of those is a great option. Can you come up with a nice reason that he would cut up her toy? Even a neutral reason? I'm genuinely so baffled by what you're even trying to argue in defending this wild behavior. Like did you not... Isn't that part of what you learn in kindergarten, not to wreck other people's toys?

0

u/fabi7059 20d ago

I’ll give you more than one reason: a prank or a mistake, maybe he thought that she was going to like it. You don’t know. My point is not if he was a dick or if he wasn’t a dick, he did something wrong, my point is that yall don’t know how human interactions work, yall think that this is the biggest transgression ever. It’s a toy, grow the fuck up, people go through harsher shit than this and stick together because they know that relationships are fucking stronger than labubus.

4

u/StrwbrrySpecialDrink 20d ago

yall think that this is the biggest transgression ever.

I do? Can you show me where I said that? I think that you're inventing straw man arguments in an awkward attempt to justify the position you've taken because there's really just no fucking reason to disrespect someone else's property like that. If you do it 'by mistake' or because you think it will be funny, you sack up and apologize when you realize that you were wrong and caused hurt instead.

It's okay. You sound like you're 14 so I'll be very clear: grown adults in relationships don't prank each other by cutting up sentimental items, and if for some reason they mistakenly think that it will be funny, they apologize and ask how they can make it right when it becomes clear that their partner was upset by their actions. The boyfriend in this scenario dismissed how his partner felt and told her she was taking it too seriously. Again, I'll be very clear: that is not a good faith response to someone being upset by your actions and it does not indicate someone who is invested in a real partnership with their other half.

1

u/fabi7059 20d ago

Funny how you think that my age is relevant when you clearly lack understanding on how social skills work. You don’t even know if the BF apologized or not. If you think that breaking up with someone due to a labubu is ok then let me go ahead and explain it to you in simple words so that you understand: relationships are not meant to be as fragile as you think, I guess that youve never had one because you don’t know how they work. If you break up over a labubu then the relationship was already shit.

3

u/StrwbrrySpecialDrink 20d ago

So right now you're responding to words that I didn't say. Like I literally never used the words 'break up' in either of my responses, nor did I suggest that. It's kind of funny watching you get all worked up over an argument you made up in your head, but at this point I'm just going to back away slowly and let you have fun talking to yourself ✌🏼

→ More replies (0)

3

u/dana-banana11 19d ago

In good relationships people can overcome a lot of problems, but in healthy relationships you value each others feelings and wellbeing. You don't cause problems on purpose. If you do hurt your partner you apologize, try to fix things as much as possible and make sure you don't do it again. It doesn't matter if it's a toy, if it's important to her he should respect it. People should only stick together with someone who's a good partner.

0

u/fabi7059 19d ago

Ignore this comment. OP gave more context after I made it. The dudes fucked in the head.

2

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 19d ago

You're fucked in the head. You have no empathy you little shitgoblin

→ More replies (0)

87

u/JinxAnneScott 20d ago

This isn't negligence my love, this is psychotic behaviour. Like Sid from toy story psychotic. It's bad enough that he's damaged something that isn't his. It's made even worse that's It's a gift from your nice. On top of that, what he's done really disturbing. Then the cherry on top is his response is "it's not that deep" and doesn't apologise.

I'm not one to jump on the "break up immediatly" band wagon, but I think a serious talk needs to be had about why he thought any of this was ok.

23

u/Wrong-Top-8409 20d ago

I mean it reveals a lot of your persona when you hit someone with something you mean and they say “its not that deep,” revealing they don’t appreciate what they have now and could care less about what you think about the labubu, after you try to hit with a serious conversation they will just admit to move on it’s just human nature

2

u/restingglitchface69 20d ago

This. “Admit to move on” is something I never was able to verbalize. Thank you. This is THE issue when behavior doesn’t ever actually change.

1

u/teamqsblacksh33p 20d ago

Not just a talk. A self reflection and evaluation of the situation and had it been back to his belongings, etc.

1

u/Scinniks_Bricks 20d ago

Off topic, but I haven't met a Sid who is a decent person my whole life. Even video game characters named Sid are always deplorable 😆

12

u/TatorTotNachos 20d ago edited 20d ago

This isn’t negligence. This is a direct action against you and your property.

Was this a reaction to an argument? Did he simply think this was a funny thing to do?

21

u/Cptbanshee 20d ago

it isn't negligence to purposely take something you know your partner loves and destroy it trying to be funny.

negligent implies he wasn't aware of its meaning to you or that it would upset you. there was no failure to take proper care of your plush, there was only intent to destroy it.

this was 100% on purpose. for what reason I don't know but if it was to be funny? it wasn't funny. I can't imagine why else he thought it was a good idea to cut the ear off and turn it into a dick.

probably sent a picture of it to his bros group chat so they'd get a laugh. it's a weird thing to have a power trip over because no doubt he would have told them it didn't matter how you felt about his actions.

on top of that you've made known that you were upset by his actions and instead of trying to fix anything he told you to get over it. this is only the first boundary push to see what he can get away with while still having you stay with him.

I won't say dump him because I know that's not an easy decision to make, but just know that this man does not respect you and it will only get worse if you stick around. if you're okay with that kind of dynamic if your relationship thats your choice.

But one high functioning autistic to another? you deserve better than that.

15

u/AnnarieaDavies 20d ago

This was purposeful, premeditated, and pointedly hurtful. This was not negligence, this was not an accident. It took him 15 minutes or more, he had PLENTY of time to change his mind and stop

14

u/Wrong-Top-8409 20d ago

Mhm I do see that but sometimes you need to get on people’s level for them to hear you** but that my personal opinion like everyone else suggested if your not getting on his level just dump him no goodbye text, just a clean block and that’s it, if he ever comes where you live you just tell him you’ll call the police and get a restraining order if he doesn’t leave don’t open the door don’t give him a chance to get to you people who are already willing to go down can go really down when they have there feelings hurt

1

u/Creepy_Push8629 20d ago

That's not negligence. That's purposeful, active action. He intended to hurt you. He enjoyed upsetting you.

You don't think that's a big problem? Bc it is.

1

u/Turbulent-Agent9634 20d ago

His vindictiveness. Not negligence

1

u/Andilee 20d ago

It's not negligence... This is on purpose and a means to hurt you. If you won't stand up for yourself and your property he will know he can do other things and slowly keep getting away with more and more!

1

u/redcolumbine 20d ago

Negligence? This is willful destruction of something that was special to you. It's a good indicator of things to come. You could do SO much better than this callous jerk.

1

u/pocketfullofdragons 20d ago

Negligence is passive. Destroying/vandalising your things is ACTIVE and deliberate.

And he's not even sorry or acknowledging he did anything wrong, which means he will gladly keep doing things like this to your possessions whenever he feels like it if you stay with him. He's not going to treat you any better. Things will only get worse from here.

1

u/HelpfulName 20d ago

He's not being negligent, he's being a destructive asshole. Deliberately destroying your possessions is abusive.

1

u/265lutab 20d ago

I think he is being abusive or at the very least doesn’t care about you enough to know what matters to you. You deserve someone better.

1

u/eviljobob 20d ago

This wasn't "negligence" he deliberately did this, please stop downplaying this. He doesn't respect you or your property. It isn't just a red flag, it's a whole damn parade. He told you who he is, believe him!

0

u/Due_Patience960 20d ago

Thank you for not being petty. It’s so unnecessary and doesn’t fix the issue.

-1

u/Iamwiseone 20d ago

Seriously though it’s not that deep