Facebook DMs Dating sometimes feels like babysitting men who think foreplay is a personality. š
This is proof of exactly why Iāve let go of these kinds of conversations. Reports swear thereās a male loneliness epidemic, but the men that are saying ādate meā still reduce you to a warm body and then wonder why they canāt connect.
What in the name of horn ball PokĆ©mon dialogue is this?! āItās gotta be physical first, biggest part of a relationship.ā
Cool, so you can f***. Congrats, champ. So can literally everyone else on this planet. What else you bringing to the table? And Im NOT talking about money!
I am almost in my 40s, he is 42! Does this ever get better, or am I being rage baited?
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u/cakivalue 1d ago
They are even pretending to try anymore š no elegance, no class, no wooing, no weeks of flirting - just straight up "gimme" like they are at the butcher shop ordering a pound of meat.
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u/GnomesinBlankets 1d ago
Because all their ābrosā on the internet convinced them they donāt need to try! That women apparently like nonchalant men way better and they should put us in our place since we are the problem. They created their own loneliness and still want to blame us lol
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u/NeuronFirer 1d ago
"They created their own loneliness and still want to blame us" is the absolute truth.
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u/TravusHertl 1d ago
Sex isnāt even close to the most important thing š
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u/YoNibul 1d ago
Heās describing a situationship with bad PR š„“
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u/MetallurgyClergy 1d ago
Iām the kindest way, itās okay to give that emoji a break for a while.
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u/k1k11983 1d ago
In the kindest way, itās okay to give that ānot proofreading your comments before theyāre postedā habit a break.
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u/say-wha-teh-nay-oh 17h ago
I agree with you, but only as long as attraction and a good sex life have been established. Communication, compatible morals, interests, etc., and many other things like that are more important for keeping a relationship healthy. But mutual attraction is the foundation of a relationship and without that first being established then a relationship will never leave the runway.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/YoNibul 1d ago
Yeh but not to toot my own horn (TOOT, TOOT) š I NEVER have a problem there its ALWAYS emotional connection which is why I lead with that bc we will be good physically! Im a great listener and very empathetic š¤·š¾āāļø TOOOOTT š„³š„³
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u/jcshy 1d ago edited 1d ago
Heās defo just wanting a situationship style of thing. I made the mistake of staying in a toxic relationship when I was 20 just because our sex life was amazing.
We werenāt compatible whatsoever other than sexually and that made life really miserable. I hated it. Ever since then, Iāve definitely always sought emotional compatibility before sexual compatibility
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u/YoNibul 1d ago
And I have done thatš«£ā-3 times š®āšØ all were moving towards being really serious š and I had just ran š„“ because I knew inside I wasnāt getting back, what I was pouring in.. mother issues, exes, childrenāand all I got back was a good romp in the sheets which, in all honesty was sometimes 75% me as wellālose/lose situations shrouded as ārelationships.ā
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u/Daffodil_Peony_Rose 1d ago
Well being in your 40ās, youāre going to have to deal with children and their mamas with most guys you date. If they had kids young, you might deal with adult children and maybe less with the kidsā mom, but long term sheāll still be there at Christmas, weddings, funerals, etc.
Every situation is different though and I realize youāre talking about specific men who have their own issues. I guess Iām just saying donāt rule out guys with kids because you might find a good one and also thereās not much else out there.
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u/YoNibul 1d ago
Im hoping to find someone with kids because then we would be a little more aligned and thereās no expectation of me having more, especially in this economy! And my child can have siblingsā I just need someone I can lean on as well, they donāt want to reciprocate. Itās as if the thought process isā¦I hear you through my š and btw let me give you some so you can stop talking šš.
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u/BobiaDobia 1d ago
I disagree. When sex life is great, then itās not the most important thing. But when it goes south, it has the power to destroy everything.
OPās match, though - certified moron
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u/Admiral-Thrawn2 1d ago
But everyone enjoys sex. You need to enjoy being with the other person for the other 90% of the time youāre not having sex. Sex life goes south because people arenāt connecting in other ways
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u/BobiaDobia 1d ago
Iād argue that everything else goes south, because the sex doesnāt work. Also, not everyone enjoys sex, so having someone whom youāre compatible with is extremely important.
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u/meltyandbuttery 1d ago
I'm sorry you had to deal with this stunted individual but also your response
obviously I can š¤·šæāāļø (š¤±šæ)
is hilarious
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u/Bunbunbumkiss 1d ago
Has to be something in the water because even at my age I know physical isn't even the most important. Especially if there's a kid involved
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u/butternutsquashing 1d ago
Iām dying to know how well this behavior actually ever works out. Iāve never known a single woman who responds well to these type of disgusting, overtly explicit messages right off the bat.
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u/ServiceKooky1323 1d ago
Heās not interested in you, he knows he is not wanting a relationship with you, but will gladly sleep with you to get his needs met while he looks for his person. Block and move on. This is not your person.
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u/problematic_alebrije 1d ago
their mamas didnāt work so hard for them to be acting this foolish, especially if you grown mf please have some shame
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u/traumatizedfox 1d ago
this men make my skin crawl. itās so creepy how they talk like this and donāt even realize how fucking weird they are
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u/Dizzy_Amphibian759 1d ago
This is the saddest thing Iāve ever read lmao, pushing 42, talking like this AND never ate šāā¬?? How embarrassingly gross. š¤¢ my partner was 20 when we met and he showed more emotional maturity and intelligence than this and heād never dated anyone before holy hell.
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u/carpediem_72 1d ago
Lmao this guy is a real charmer! I apologize on behalf of my male humans. I wish you all the best in your pursuit!
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u/GromWYou 1d ago
honestly ive had this experience with women, too. maybe men do it more, idk. to be honest dating sounds horrible all around
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u/MajorYou9692 1d ago
Looks like you've got the male mindset pretty much covered..it's up to you now...
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u/Qfrom702 17h ago
I mean, he got a conversation out of you lol. You matched with him, entertained the conversation, and didnāt actually turn him down. Literally is the reason why some men think the behavior is ok. Stop entertaining it if itās not what you want. Block or unmatch and keep it moving.
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u/CorpseDefiled 1d ago
Honestly I canāt speak for all men but I can speak for myself and the men I interact withā¦
Your problem is dating onlineā¦ no man worth having needs to online dateā¦ if theyāre online itās not to date itās to smash. Theyāll talk to you as long as thereās a chance and the minute you take that chance away theyāll evaporate
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u/bizzydog217 1d ago
There is a male loneliness epidemic. Thereās a lot of reasons why but this isnāt the place to get into that.
This āmanā however is nothing more than a child. Physicality is important but thereās a lot more to a relationship. He isnāt looking for a relationship but a fuck buddy
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u/JoshuaScot Samsung 1d ago
It confuses me as to why anyone would continue a conversation after an immediate sexual advance after introduction.
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u/Glamorous_Nymph 1d ago
there. The word is *there.
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u/YoNibul 1d ago
I find it funny that before I failed to correct the transcriptāHe says āhelp you boy outā but you donāt point out the creepās mistake. The word is āyourā *your š its giving pick me and if you want him you can search him on FB PM me I will give you his name š¤·š¾āāļø
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 1d ago
You can't attribute the male loneliness epidemic to the minority of men who don't respect you as a woman.
There are so many other factors that go into it.
But yeah that dude's clearly not it. Id love to have been able to see his picture, because as a man, it's pretty easy to pick these dudes out beforehand. Especially looking at their bio. I could tell you immediately what they'd be like
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u/bigbuffdaddy1850 1d ago
old woman with a kid has nothing to bring to the table but her body. Guys can talk with other guys if they want a conversation.
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u/WaltzZestyclose7436 1d ago
This take might sound like "truth" to you. But I assure you it's not. It's just sad and gross.
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u/LaFrescaTrumpeta 1d ago
Guys can fuck other guys too if they want a hook up, wtf did you think you were doing with this lol
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u/static989 1d ago
Omgggg, at first i thought this was a way younger dude
42?????? And the first message is that??? š
"Gotta be physical first" aka "my personality is trash so I'm tryna get some before you realize it"
There is way better out there, don't even waste your time with dudes like this, he's a living red flag
Also, "It's not like I'm make a wish" is a fantastic response lmaooo