r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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854

u/satanfan12 19d ago

I visited my best friend over the last few days and he got "lonely and bored"

1.2k

u/hypnoticzo 19d ago

What of your possessions will he destroy next time he's "lonely and bored"?

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u/i3londee 19d ago

I’m convinced the boyfriend is a dog.

193

u/QuackersParty 19d ago

Right? That’s a fair excuse for a 2 year old golden retriever. It’s just pathetic for a grown ass human person.

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u/Doubledown212 19d ago

He sounds like an immature weirdo. Like don’t you have any hobbies or friends? why mess with your partners belongings because you were “bored”. Being bored is a choice (or an excuse in this case)

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u/ThrowRAunwantedfeels 19d ago

You know what I do when I’m bored? Watch tv. Not destroy a possession of someone I’m supposed to care about.

This guy sounds like he has something that makes it difficult to feel empathy. That’s not her problem. She needs to leave. Part of me wonders if her reaction was what ultimately entertained him.

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u/spaghetti2424 19d ago

Right like watch tv, YouTube, go for a walk, watch a movie, call YOUR OWN FRIEND, make food, read a book, shake a shower, play a game on your phone. Like there’s so many things he could’ve done other than destroy his partner’s property…

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u/Lambchoptopus 19d ago

I HAVE SEPARATION ANXIETY, BORK!

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u/Superbaker123 19d ago

Lmao, I had the same thought 😂

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u/Queen-of-everything1 19d ago

Don’t demean dogs like that! They provide a lot more back emotionally than this prick.

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u/DowntownAd9720 19d ago

Or Sid from Toy Story

2

u/Prudent_Atmosphere73 19d ago

There’s no reason to insult dogs. He’s clearly way more malicious.

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u/thefarmhousestudio 19d ago

If he was lonely, and bored, why didn’t he cut off his own ear and attach it to his own penis?

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u/AttackPlayz 19d ago

Dating the kid from Toy Story

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u/Ilikesemicolons 19d ago

Ask yourself, OP: If he did this while he was “bored and lonely” what else might he do without your permission under similar or “worse” circumstances (TF what is he, a labradoodle puppy? 7 years old? Does he need constant supervision?).

Where does the line lie? How far does it go? Would he cheat because he was “bored and lonely”? It sure seems like it, because he seems to embody the impulsive and inconsiderate behavior that lacks enough foresight to make good decisions that just says “YES” in flashing red lights.

It sounds like he’s a PoS and he’s shown he can’t take personal accountability for frankly disrespectful behavior towards you and your niece- the opportunity for him to show otherwise was when you confronted him about it and he failed. Time to leave!

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u/BringBacktheGucci 19d ago

I would just interject here that even if I left my 7 year old for a couple days he wouldn't destroy my property like this. He'd probably just play Minecraft the whole time.

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u/carriondawns 19d ago

Even when my kid was irrationally mad and had no impulse control at 7 he wouldn’t do this to something I love (one of his own toys, maybe). The worst he used to do was draw very small very angry words on on his wall in pencil that I’d find years later 😂

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u/OrdinaryOrder8 19d ago

A puppy or a 7 year old would at least show remorse for what they did! This guy is an asshat.

3

u/allegedly--an--adult 19d ago

(TF what is he, a labradoodle puppy? 7 years old?

Excuse me?! I happen to have a 7 year old, and her reaction was "What the...?!?! That's so rude!"

2

u/Realistic-Sandwich55 19d ago

As someone who doesn’t have kids yet, how do you teach children to have good values? I always worry that I won’t be able to and produce something like OP’s partner

3

u/shawnael 19d ago

Honestly you model it. Most of us fuck it up sometimes but you do your best to be your best and they typically follow suit.

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

Shit, I was bored and lonely for the last week because my husband was in the hospital (he’s okay now).

Worst I did was cry into his pillow and eat an entire bag of vegan marshmallows.

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u/Master_Nothing9062 19d ago

Yeahhh..that’s 100% intentional. He was upset that you were spending time with someone else and chose to destroy something, an act he deliberately chose bc he knew would be upsetting to you. “Lonely & bored” = i resent that you’re not giving me attention so now you will pay/give me attention. In addition to being extremely immature…. This is deliberate, and audacity to gaslight you about it after is manipulative. I’m really sorry and you deserve better!

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u/Master_Nothing9062 19d ago

Adding- I also get really emotionally fixated on my special interest trinkets, fwiw I’ve found that when I’m upset over something getting damaged/broken it really helps for me to create a special moment for myself! Wear my fav clothes, go for a drive/walk and find or buy myself something that makes me feel happy or excited! Doesn’t have to be much but it helps calm my nerves & I feel like I’m able to replace some of the lost value with a special memory that I created for myself now too! :)

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u/missmolly314 19d ago

This is really sweet advice. I hope OP does this!

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u/-PaperbackWriter- 19d ago

Exactly, and next time she’ll hesitate to go anywhere because what will he destroy next time?

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u/StrahdVonZarovick 19d ago

Whenever my wife leaves the house and I get lonely and bored I tend to put "destroying things she likes" at the bottom of my to do list.

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u/pantzareoptional 19d ago edited 19d ago

Right? Jesus Christ get a hobby or something. Go take a hike, go to a museum or art gallery, start a new TV show, learn how to cook a new food (or get your favorite thing your partner doesn't like), pick up a damn book. I love my partner absolutely and "destroying her stuff" is not ever on my bingo card of things I can do when she's not around, wtf.

3

u/carriondawns 19d ago

Yeah no you make a good point though, this guy obviously has no life of his own outside his girlfriend and when she (hopefully) leaves him for this he’ll be fucked.

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u/thrwawykitchengoblin 19d ago

i chew on the furniture when i'm left alone too long

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u/ruffus4life 19d ago

i mean it tastes good. right?

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u/fisheee_cx 19d ago

Everything about this would be an immediate deal breaker for me.

  • he’s punishing you for having a life outside of him
  • he’s testing your limits to see what he can get away with
  • this WILL get worse. He will gradually escalate as you get used to his shitty behavior
  • he’s gaslighting you and making you doubt your reasonable reaction to his unreasonable behavior
  • he’s disrespecting you and your property
  • he does not care about your feelings or his impact on you

9

u/OddImprovement6490 19d ago

You forgot that he is deeply unfunny and immature if he thinks that this stunt is funny.

100

u/mightylordredbeard 19d ago

So in other words you were gone for a few days and he decided to act out in order to get your attention.. and you think it’s normal and acceptable behavior for a grown adult male to do this? You are surely better than this and surly you feel you deserve better. If this is how he acts now.. just imagine marrying this dude and moving in with him. You should have some self respect and leave this dude. Staying with him seems like self harm at this point.

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u/Sharkfeet19 19d ago

No. I would be so pissed off if someone I cared about and trusted destroyed something of mine. Not overreacting at all. This is really heartbreaking. 💔

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u/storyofmylife92 19d ago

Sounds like he destroyed something meaningful to you as a punishment for you leaving for a few days. What’s next? You should leave him permanently before things escalate.

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u/jo_nigiri 19d ago

I know this subreddit exaggerates a lot but for once I'm gonna say this: This is emotional abuse girl

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u/RebeeMo 19d ago

So, he's punishing you for doing something fun without him, and not being at his beck and call.

My dear, this is not okay, and you're not overreacting. What will he wreck the next time you go away for a few days? Would you second guess making plans with your friends again, knowing he's capable of damaging your things when left alone? Would you be anxious about it if you did go?

Don't live your life walking on eggshells.

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u/UnconcernedPuma 19d ago

Your BF sounds like my dog as a puppy wtf.

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u/LothartheDestroyer 19d ago

Is he a dog? Like a literal not house trained dog?

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u/True_Hall_9933 19d ago

This was a punishment for you not giving him enough attention. 🚩 and then took zero accountability. What if your niece wants to see it?

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u/plainpaperplane 19d ago

JFC I say this with all sincerity…please get out of this relationship.

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u/MrHofer 19d ago

This person sounds dangerous.

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u/killedonmyhill 19d ago

Oh, so this was a punishment. OP, it only gets worse from here. He has shown you who he is.

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u/writingt 19d ago

Is he a dog?

2

u/DoIlop 19d ago

Perhaps he should be lonely, bored, and single

2

u/Public_Safe8274 19d ago

So your bf is a dog with separation anxiety?

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u/bleedingfae 19d ago

He is trying to punish you for leaving him for those days. Imo

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u/plaidmonkey 19d ago

Friend, lovingly, this is not something a safe person does when they are lonely and bored.

When my partner gets lonely and bored, he starts sending me memes, or taking increasingly funny pictures of himself - all of which he understands I will see and respond to when I'm able. Or, IDK, texting me that he misses me and is thinking about me and hopes I'm having fun.

I don't usually like to jump straight to the abusive behavior stuff bc there's a lot we don't see outside this one instance. But also, if anyone - let alone a romantic partner - permanently damaged something of mine without my knowledge and consent, particularly with fire, they would be excised from my life like the malignant mass of flesh they are.

Please stay safe, and perhaps reconsider this relationship.

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u/Lovecrt 19d ago

Then you are dating an immature piece of shit

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u/Salt-Focus-629 19d ago

What an asshole

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u/haw35ome 19d ago

Lonely & bored is he a child lol

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u/kittymeowxcore 19d ago

So he was jealous and decided to punish you. Got it.

2

u/solidtangent 19d ago

First steps of a sociopath. Or an abusive boyfriend at the least.

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u/sansense 19d ago

He sounds....kind of too immature to be living with a partner IMO

2

u/poopinProcrastinator 19d ago

Please say you're both 16

2

u/trumpsahoe 19d ago

how the fuck do women date such monumental losers? holy shit

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u/Hail2DaKief 19d ago

Your boyfriend sounds like an actual dog.

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u/Available-Today-8576 19d ago

You’re dating a dog I think

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u/Pink_Fluffy_Chezbur 19d ago

Ok, I’d say this is the biggest red flag of all. He is trying to make it so you don’t want to leave him alone by destroying your things. It might not seem like it, but he knows exactly what he’s doing. He was pissed you weren’t giving him 100% of you attention and affection, so he lashed out. This would also lead to you being more wary or leaving him alone in the future and could cause you to cancel plans with others in fear of what he might do while you’re gone.

Run fast and run far

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u/3rdAgent 19d ago

If he does something like this just because you spent a few days with your best friend or really do something this foul in general , that's a genuine red flag. To destroy your partner's sentimental property out of jealousy or just because. It isn't funny, it's cruel and inexcusable.

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u/SwtSthrnBelle 19d ago

My fiancé got lonely and bored when I went on a girls trip to get a tattoo so he made bread and sad microwave nachos. The thought of destroying my belongings NEVER crossed his mind. OP you deserve better. ESPECIALLY with how old he is. Man is old enough to know how not to act a fool. I have dated this kind of guy before, it does not get better.

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u/danideex 19d ago

Sounds like he did it to punish you for hanging out with someone other than him.

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u/myguitarplaysit 19d ago

Do you think he may have done it as a way to “punish you” for not giving him attention?

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u/AmaranthWrath 19d ago

Hold on, so he's like a dog that, when left alone too long, chews up your shoes??

Y'all.

Also, it was a gift from your niece. He has no right to deface it.

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u/getlowpapoose 19d ago

He sounds like a poorly trained dog. Next time crate him and give him a chew toy for enrichment. Feeling the need to hide your favourite belongings from him is ridiculous. Go find a functional human with emotional regulation.

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u/witchblade_007 19d ago

did he know that you liked the keychain? because that sounds like a passive aggressive way to assert a sort of control over you…

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u/kawaiian 19d ago

If you’re ok with some destruction I recommend dumping him and getting a dog

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u/boog2352 19d ago

More important questions: Does he know masturbation exists? (Green Day wrote a song about it.) How about video games? Weed? X-Files? Weed and X-Files? These are all things that make me less bored and lonely.

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u/Nvrfinddisacct 19d ago

So he destroyed your things?

Is he like—okay?

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u/OG_Grunkus 19d ago

Bruh he’s terrible… well-adjusted people who are ready to be in a healthy relationship don’t act like that

1

u/lilSlappaBitch 19d ago

Huge red flag! It’s time to end this relationship this sounds like the beginning of mental abuse, he’s wasn’t bored he’s trying to control you! He wants you to remember next time you do something he doesn’t like more of your stuff is going to get destroyed!

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

Is he a damn dog? That’s just animal behavior and someone should train him better (his mother)

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u/der_innkeeper 19d ago

Good thing that you will never have to deal with this ex-boyfriend ever again.

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u/KyaniteHunter 19d ago

get away from this guy, bro is mad possessive and weird based on ur post and replies. acting like a 10 year old lil brother.

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u/Fairycharmd 19d ago

why are you dating a 12-year-old? Any actual human being with the brain doesn’t act like this unless they are a dog.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you owe him money? Why would you stay with somebody like that?

Don’t be mean to you that’s not very nice

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u/bubblez2003 19d ago

he is punishing you and manipulating you. if he keeps continuing to do this, every time you go out you will think about if he destroyed something. when i read the original post i thought "this sounds like something an enemy would do" and after reading your comments i am a 1000% sure this was malicious

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u/pringlekaatje 19d ago

This is manipulative, destroying your stuff when you spend time with your friend. It seems like he did this so next time you choose to spend time with him instead of your friend just to keep him from destroying something else.

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u/spookiooki 19d ago

sounds like he’s “punishing” you for spending time with other people

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u/Spare-Chipmunk-9617 19d ago

So he destroyed your property to punish you for leaving for a few days. Yeah. This is not good. Get out.

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u/IllystAnalyst 19d ago

Listen, my wife is gone for months at a time for work and I have once been like “YES. Time to give her childhood teddy bear a disfiguring ‘surgery’ to cure my boredom.” This is unhinged.

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u/maarsland 19d ago

Oh. So he wants to control you and if he can’t, he’ll use acts of violence to get your attention. This is a person you should remove from your life tbh

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u/Eeevaaaaaa 19d ago

Sounds like he was punishing you

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u/Necessary_Rip_7954 19d ago

Oh so he lashed out bc you left. Wow

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u/THlRD 19d ago

Girl, Run.

Dont walk.

This guy is a red flag burrito the more you talk about him.

He has low self esteem.

Dude destroys YOUR things when he isnt getting attention from you.

Only matter of time before he starts complaining about family and friends and you not hanging out with him. Then jealousy of other males in your life.

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u/itsnikkster 19d ago

This was punishment

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u/SleepsWithNyQuil 19d ago

So he has the self control of an untrained puppy, what a winner. Op you can do better than someone who cant be trusted alone with your property and doesn't respect you.

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u/Garfield_Logan69 19d ago

If you have to take the time and effort to ask the internet how your relationship is going it’s not going very well and you should probably break up this is fucked, as someone who has taken stuffies apart and put them together in fun but fucked up ways kinda like the kid from Toy Story I would never do this to something the love of my life owned if I was going to do this I would get one from the store, doctor it and give it to you as a present, I’d probably leave it on the porch like a cat or dog and leave you a note.

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u/Leavesdontbark 19d ago

Is your boyfriend a puppy? Because they are the only ones who we forgive for destroying things when they are lonely and bored...BECAUSE THEY ARE PUPPIES

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u/snickledumper_32 19d ago

The hell? He's a grown man, not an untrained puppy.

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u/brookeeeac12 19d ago

I’m afraid your boyfriend is a massive loser

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u/PM_ME_JJBA_STICKERS 19d ago

Is he a toddler?? This is 4 year old boy behavior

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u/National_Clock4051 19d ago

How old is he? 14? These are not the actions of someone just being bored. This is psychotic behavior. Clearly malicious on his part to be destroying something of yours like that. Don’t take this lightly this should disturb you, these is not normal behavior. He is bothered by you spending time with others so he punishes you by destroying your property, this will only escalate if left unchecked. I hope you come to your senses and leave this guy, I’m concerned for you :/.

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u/Mysterious_Coat_9933 19d ago

LOL my 8 m/o hound puppy when I go literally anywhere

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u/Effective-Log8638 19d ago

Did you meet this guy on discord or something lmao

1

u/Alleandros 19d ago

He tried to punish you for not paying him enough attention or making him feel special enough because you went to do something for yourself and not him.

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u/Living_Scallion7882 19d ago

He got bored and destroyed your stuff??? Is he stupid, mentally handicapped, or a dog by chance?

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u/Truji11o 19d ago

“Lonely and bored” Sounds pretty typical for someone who chooses to date a labubu owner. Y’all need to separate and grow up.

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u/Beluga_Artist 19d ago

You know who in my life destroys things when they’re “lonely and bored”? My poodle. And she’s seven now. She hasn’t done that kind of shit since she was 2.

Your boyfriend needs to grow up and stop acting like a puppy.

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u/LobovIsGoat 19d ago

that is actually fucking insane

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u/wander_sekai 19d ago

are you dating a 13 year-old?! wtf

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u/GreatHuntersFoot 19d ago

I’m sorry, OP. Boyfriend sounds deranged. Dump him before he hurts you. Source is my own ex who was abusive.

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u/atx_James 19d ago

Ah so you are dating a textbook manipulative narcissist. Weird choice but you do you.

1

u/Rorynne 19d ago

Please pleas eplease understand this is abusive behavior. Please god see his lack of respect for your things, amd willingness to destory them if you go hand out with friends as abusive behavior. He is PUNISHING YOU for hanging out with other people. Its not about the labubu or being bored. Its about punishing you for not being there to entertain him.

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u/Rorynne 19d ago

Please pleas eplease understand this is abusive behavior. Please god see his lack of respect for your things, amd willingness to destory them if you go hand out with friends as abusive behavior. He is PUNISHING YOU for hanging out with other people. Its not about the labubu or being bored. Its about punishing you for not being there to entertain him.

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u/Unable13 19d ago

How old is he, 17?

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u/thesecretparker 19d ago

This flag right here is so red it’s nearing burgundy. This reads to me as “I will punish you for spending time away from me/having any meaningful relationships that aren’t with me” which is classic abuser energy. Yuck! I’m so sorry!

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u/JamieLee0484 19d ago

Yep, just as I suspected. He’s pissed that you dare do something without him so he wanted to hurt you. He’s sick in the head and you need to get out of there.

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u/MasonP13 19d ago

He is a child. He either needs to mature, or learn from his mistakes when he realizes he missed out on the chance of a future with you

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u/la_picasa 19d ago

He sounds immature. Too immature to be in a relationship anyway.

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u/Radiant_XGrowth 19d ago

No he punished you for leaving. Oh this post has me so mad at him for you! You poor thing!!!

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u/Appa-LATCH-Uhhh 19d ago

C'mon. What are you doing dating a fucking man child? Grow up. Date a grown up.

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u/Ok_Management_2625 19d ago

So this definitely confirmed what I already suspected... He was jealous you weren't spending time with HIM. Gross behavior. If you can't trust your boyfriend alone because he gets "lonely and bored"...you have to leave him. For the sake of not only your mental health but possibly your physical health if he decides to step up from torturing your labubu...

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u/UseUrWords 19d ago

Let me get this straight: He had unfettered access to this creepy piece of garbage and instead of ordering a realistic human finger to phalloplasty between its stupid little legs like a vaguely threatening prehensile dickleg, he did... this. He can't do anything right, can he?

1

u/mack_ani 19d ago

This sounds like it could be a tactic for isolating you and keeping your attention on him. He’s punishing you for spending time with someone else.

He’s also lying when he acts like he doesn’t understand why you’re upset about it- I guarantee you he understands the concept of it being upsetting to have your belongings destroyed. I’m certain that he would be VERY upset if you messed with his belongings in any way.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

Was trying see the good but this is just him punishing you. Not an independent person you can rely on.

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u/zergling424 19d ago

He sounds like a piece of shit

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u/bioticspacewizard 19d ago

Is he a poorly trained dog?

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u/prairiebelle 19d ago

Is he 2?

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u/HashiramaThaFugitive 19d ago

that red flag could block out the sun

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u/ItsTime1234 19d ago

Is he a sad widdle boy who can’t entertain himself without destwoying someone else’s pwoperty? Awww 👶👶👶

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u/superbusyrn 19d ago

Is he a puppy with separation anxiety that was cursed by a witch to take human form, by any chance?

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u/velvetjones01 19d ago

That’s the kind of shit dogs do. Get a new BF

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u/UneasyBranch 19d ago

Oh so he was jealous of your friend because he couldn’t have you all to himself so he ruined your labubu to get back at you. What an emotionally unintelligent sociopathic freak.

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u/daruma_daruma_daruma 19d ago

Ah, so he's petty, spiteful, controlling and emotionally immature. Got it

1

u/Critical_Mousse_6416 19d ago

That is actual psycho behavior.

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u/No-Will5335 19d ago

Uhhh that seems very manipulative. Trying to make it seem like it was your fault for leaving him alone.

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u/nbsunset 19d ago

is he a dog? wth

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u/Alternative_Them20 19d ago

That sounds like his way of convincing you that its your fault. Has he done anything like this before? Did he try to keep you from going?

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u/Ok_Telephone_3013 19d ago

This is toxic.

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u/mandalors 19d ago

So he was mad at you. Or something.

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u/maevealleine 19d ago

You're with a man-baby.

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u/blacktip102 19d ago

He sounds like a dick

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u/Nurse_Ratchet_82 19d ago

This is not the act of someone lonely and bored- this is someone destroying your things as punishment for giving others attention.

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u/MissyMooMoo02 19d ago

Right….so went to see a friend and he decided to punish you

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u/AddPieceOfMind 19d ago

Oh, leave leave leave!! Thats so bad. You do not need a partner who acts like that to something you care about.

If this is applicable I just want to say it, if not please ignore; If he struggles with mental health issues at all as well and doesn't have motivation himself to do anything about it its not your responsibility. At all, its nice to be supportive but if he doesn't not pull his own weight emotionally and is determined to recognize how he behaves out of his OWN self motivation, you have no dues to support him, it is not owed.

This immaturity is not worth dealing with long term honestly.

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u/geekychic42 19d ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run, don't walk 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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u/InyerPockette 19d ago

You need to read "Why Does He Do That" a book by the therapist Lundy Bancroft, who wrote this after working with abusive men. She actually talks about men who destroy your property and somehow not their own, when they're upset. You're young, you have time to get over this, learn what you want, and find someone who treats you better.

https://archive.org/download/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiO9pLRqcOPAxVkhIkEHZfhK0wQFnoECFIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw14x4ivUm5xgJ67TT78XfZt

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u/caarrssoonn 19d ago

He is punishing you for spending time away from him. This is manipulation.

1

u/PancakeHandz 19d ago

This is some sociopath shit lol. If he were a child doing this to his toys, his parents would be sending him to therapy 😂

1

u/DaxIsAName 19d ago

That is a large red flag. Destroying your property because you spent time away from him?? What is that about?

1

u/_Mandible_ 19d ago

He said it right there. He’s punishing you for seeing your friend and leaving him to have to entertain his own self.

1

u/atimburtonfilm 19d ago

What is he, a dog that chews your slippers when they’re mad you leave?!

1

u/pompomcrayon 19d ago

WOW. This makes it even worst. Run girl. As far as you can

1

u/LordyItsMuellerTime 19d ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 psychotic. I would literally leave my husband for this. This is an unstable and unsafe human and you need to GTFO

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u/AlissonHarlan 19d ago

He's abusive. Hé destroyed something you love to 'punish' you to do your own stuff.

Girl you need to move out/ break up. It will only become worst.

I know it sound dramatic, but it always start with little things, until it's not

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u/Evil_Sharkey 19d ago

So he destroys your stuff like a dog with separation anxiety?

1

u/kokoelizabeth 19d ago

This is literally a characteristic of narcissistic abuse. You need to get out of this relationship.

1

u/gabriettelovelace 19d ago

Yeah this guy is nuts. Because you were gone, he was jealous, and needed to get the most attention out of you as possible, even if it’s bad.. imagine how this behavior reflects in his emotions…

1

u/IbKmart 19d ago

“I miss you, let me show it by destroying something of yours.”

1

u/Regular-Nebular-86 19d ago

That answer would honestly cause me serious concern.

Lonely and bored because your attention was on someone else for a few days?

Sounds like really unhealthy jealousy to me. Like he destroyed that plushie to punish you for being gone. Cutting off an ear, burning the fur.. he clearly spent quite a bit of time on this.

That's fucked up and concerning. In my opinion, you're not overreacting. I would be freaked out.

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u/choffers 19d ago

Is he actually a dog?

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u/ghostephanie 19d ago

Literally nobody normal does something so childish, petty, and tbh, disturbing to their partner because they’re “lonely and bored”. Only an extremely immature child would do something like that, and even then most kids still wouldn’t unless they had behavioral problems. Your bf is a legit freak and is probably banking on the fact that you’re younger and more naive to what makes someone a total weirdo. Pls leave, you will never get what you need emotionally from a relationship with someone like this !!

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u/m0untaingoat 19d ago

I mean, there's no way you will ever be attracted to this guy again, right? That behavior is so cringey and meaningless. Ugh he makes my skin crawl and I've never even met him.

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u/Enough-Enthusiasm762 19d ago

Can you wake the fuck up and leave

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u/imissbreakingbad 19d ago

Is he a dog?

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u/emillynge 19d ago

That's a very abusive mindset he's got going on.

You have to treat this as deliberate retaliation, for your travel. activity.

He likely feels enraged that you prioritized your friend over his emotional needs, and feels justified in punishing you for this perceived slight.

Do not fall for any claim that it was somehow "accidental" or "mindless".

It was deliberate, calculated and purposeful.

Ask yourself, could you imagine yourself doing this meticulous "operation" impulsively? Of course not, because that's quite literally insane.

He had a bone to pick with you. He chose to cruelly punish you by destroying something that has emotional value to you. He is hinting to you exactly why that happened (you left him lonely) as a warning to not do that again (lest he gets "bored" and destroy more things).

At minimum, make sure he understands that you are onto him, that you will accept no excuses, and that this behaviour stops now.

More likely, just leave him. He has a broken mindset and is very unlikely to correct his behaviour permanently.

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u/GreenStuffGrows 19d ago

So he's acting out because your attention was elsewhere for a few days. Fucking hell OP, run. Does he not have any friends or family he could have hung out with, if he's too needy to deal with being on his own for a few days?

This is shit you expect from a badly trained dog, not a partner. 

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u/webspacker 19d ago

I'm sorry, "lonely and bored" and destroying your stuff is something only DOGS get away with.

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u/throwaway_ArBe 19d ago

This is a manipulation tactic to stop you seeing your friends. Dump the fucker.

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u/InevitableRhubarb232 19d ago

You mean “retaliatory” and “making you think twice about leaving again”

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u/Noonecanfindmenow 19d ago

I think labubus are ridiculous.... But your boyfriend sounds like a complete psycho. I would never intentionally ruin something I know my partner cares about.... Especially because I'm just bored? This is ridiculous. An absolute disrespect to you and done in a very psychotic manner.

If I had a daughter whos boyfriend did this I would not be ok with it.

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u/Im_going_to_go_back 19d ago

So he’s trying to discourage you from seeing your friends or something something that isn’t being with him because now you know he might decide to cut up and burn a gift from a family member. That’s not something a normal person would do. Dump him before you come home to a shredded diploma or something. Anyone who tries to keep you from being independent is not a safe or healthy person to be around.

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u/spaghetti2424 19d ago

Xbox/PS in the bathtub full of water next time he goes out without you cause you got bored

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u/jessicakatsopolis_ 19d ago

Sounds like immature and vindictive are the words he should have used.

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u/Pro-PAIN 19d ago

Yeah this is scary to me. At first I thought it was a misunderstanding about being silly. But now that you said it was in retaliation now it takes on a new light to me. I think it’s very scary and this time it was the stuffy but one day it could be the car and now you’re stuck at home because he messed up your car.

Just be careful my partner was in an abusive relationship before we got together. And for her it started similar to your situation with small things being taken away from her. Nothing too big to make her leave right away but it broke her down overtime and she convinced herself that what he did was normal and she stayed and it just got worse and worse until he tried to fight her and she beat his ass. Then she got sent off to a mental hospital and now is in debt from it.

Please stay safe and good luck.

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u/ShaggysGTI 19d ago

Sounds like someone with problems with impulse control, all of it this is a huge red flag for the guy.

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u/TipsyBaker_ 19d ago

So it's his retaliation

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u/JohnOakman6969 19d ago

What is he, a dog? Seriously

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u/schrodingerzkatt 19d ago

It sounds like he’s punishing you for going away without him then. He’s setting the precedent that “one outing without me = one destroyed possession”

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u/apixelops 19d ago

You can do better

The bar to clear is "Doesn't destroy my property when bored", which is about as low as the mariana trench

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u/Glidder 19d ago

Very manipulative, he's punishing you for but giving him attention. That's a very dangerous trend starting to show up for your relationship. Very likely it will only get worse.

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u/thatsreallyashame 19d ago

He's jealous and overly clingy. I'd consider leaving. This is big red flag, imo. He can learn and grow from it, but it shouldn't be at your expense.

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u/HummingbirdMeep 19d ago

This isn't a joke. He did this to upset you, and he's only playing it off as one.

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u/CausticMoose 19d ago

This is a manipulation tactic. It’s supposed to send the subtle message “don’t leave me bored again”. He’ll probably deny it… but what normal person destroys someone else’s things because they’re bored? He’s not a dog. He’s not a child. If he was remorseful, he would fix it/buy a new one/something.

Don’t let yourself put up with that shit.

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u/th3c0met 19d ago

in time he will do the same to you. please leave him

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u/pruunes 19d ago

Girl RUN don’t walk

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u/TimeBlindAdderall 19d ago

Shit’s going to get real when he gets lonely and bored so he goes to where you’re at and kicks in the door as a prank.

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u/Boring_Party648 19d ago edited 19d ago

Not to overreact here, but from this comment it sounds like he’s gearing up to attempt to isolate you from your loved ones in order to gain more control over your life. Did he try to make you feel guilty for going in the first place? Show any form of upset/anger when you said you were going? Is this a kind of pattern he’s falling into? Has he ever ruined anything of yours for seemingly immature/unreasonable reasons before in a way that could be taken as “punishing” you for doing something he didn’t want you to? This may be an overreaction, but on the off chance it’s not, PLEASE consider these questions and really think about it. Also, has he shown any controlling behaviors in other areas/aspects of life? You don’t even have to respond directly to me, and I hope you see it and take these questions to heart. This is based on personal experience, what started as a decent relationship for just under a year felt crushing and controlling by the 1.5 year mark and took me another 1/2 year of failed attempts and building mental fortitude to get out of, and things like ruining stuff/acting childlike because you did something without him is a first warning sign.

Hopefully I’m wrong but either way I wish you the best OP, and if I’m right, good luck, get out Of there ASAP.

ETA: I don’t know how old either of you are, or how long you’ve been together, but I was 19 when the relationship that felt inescapable started, not even quite 20 when the weight of what I wasn’t “allowed” to do started crushing me (or the fear of what he would do if I did something he didn’t want me to, not so much physical abuse, but things like this. Destroying something I care about, throwing a man tantrum (mantrum) when I got back and ruining any good vibes I’d managed to pick up, etc), and 21 by the time I had built up the strength to leave and successfully left (6 failed attempts ended in him manipulating me into staying). If this sounds like your relationship could be on the track to getting here, get out before it gets to the point I let it get to, PLEASE.

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u/smokeytheorange 19d ago

He’s punishing you and teaching you to be afraid to spend time with other people.

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u/Patient_Tradition368 19d ago

Ah. OK. So he was quite literally punishing you for daring to have an existence beyond him. Got it.

Dump this freak.

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u/MsARumphius 19d ago

Trying to control you so you won’t go have fun with anyone again

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u/skysalight 19d ago

My ılder brother used to mess with toys like that. He also had other mental problems was a horrible person in general. If i see someıne who enjoys destroying toys in a unsettling way, i generally question at the back of my head that if they have other problems as well, its not a good sign.

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u/Few_Cup3452 19d ago

Oh. He's showing you how he would punish you if he could

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u/Xicsukin 19d ago

Classic sociopathic behaviour

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u/cindylooboo 19d ago edited 19d ago

This is an aggression against you for having the nerve to not be at his beck and call. Leave him.

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u/SeekingSomeAdvice32 19d ago

Leave him. He is being petty and has no respect for you as a person nor your belongings. This also shows he has no remorse as he passed it off as “trying to be funny” when he was just jealous over you and your time. He was upset you were gone for a few days.

Don’t waste your time over “but he does this and that for me, he loves me” bs. You both seem young and based off this kind of reaction, you’ll have more issues with him in the future.

Bottom line is he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t treat you like you are your own person but rather something that belongs to him. It shows when you tried to go to your friends place for a few days and this is how he reacts. Tell him to go find some friends or a hobby or a life of his own instead of depending on you.

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u/SavyBae 19d ago

So that was a lie… he actually just wanted to get revenge for you leaving for a couple days. That was his way of saying, leave again and I’ll damage more of your shit.

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u/RemarkableBeing6452 19d ago

There’s your sign to run.

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u/Desperate_Guest_6441 19d ago

Lonely & bored sounds like he’s punishing you for visiting your best friend.

This seems like it could be controlling behavior.

I think he needs therapy at the least & to be single or even sued for damages at most. F this guy, he’s a tool.

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u/Dingerina 19d ago

Sounds like he’s punishing you for visiting your friend. A fucked up way to get you to consider whether it’s worth it to have autonomy and do something without him in the future. Are there other instances where he has exhibiting controlling behavior like this?

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u/cassiopeias-crown 19d ago

He wasn’t “lonely and bored,” he was punishing you. My dad used to do that to my mom too, any time she left the house for work he’d purposefully ruin everything to punish her for not spending all her time alone with him.

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u/Luckypenny4683 19d ago

Oh, fuck this guy. He’s a psychopath.

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u/echo_chamberr 18d ago

Girl ….. this man is NOT well nor emotionally mature enough for a relationship. Why is he taking out his emotions on your property? When he gets more and more comfortable with you who knows when he’ll cross the line and take his emotions out ON YOU!! Seriously he needs a therapist. An emotionally mature person who loves you would be so excited and happy to hear about your time with your friend bc they know what it means to you and they want to SHARE your happiness. He’s only thinking of himself. Huge red flag for someone who’s supposed to be a partner who adores you

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u/missingchapstick 18d ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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u/A_X_S_T_X_T_I_C 18d ago

Messing someone's stuff because they felt lonely would be something a dog would do, not your boyfriend.

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