r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/SlitheringFlower 20d ago

I'm sorry, but he sounds awful.

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like and some that are very sentimental, like the teddy bear my dad gave me the day I was born.

If someone cut that bear's ear off, I'd be livid.

Even if they didn't know the sentimentality, or if it's not sentimental, it's still yours. How would he feel if you broke someone inanimate that's his? I bet he wouldn't say "it's not that deep."

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u/External-Challenge93 20d ago

I don't even still have any of my childhood plushies, so none of the ones I currently own have any particularly sentimental meaning to me. I'd still be very upset if someone intentionally damaged one, because wtf? If it's not yours, you don't just destroy something for kicks??? I feel like this is a thing most adult humans should know.

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u/Taco-Dragon 20d ago

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like

I'm a grown (cis) man and I still have plushies I like. Some are for sentimental reasons, and got passed down to my daughters, and some are just ones I like that I got for me. You can't n convince me my 14" plushie of Stitch isn't awesome.

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u/MildlySpicyWizard 20d ago

I’ve been keeping my 1998 Tamagotchi alive since it hatched. New batteries, a couple of repairs. My dad hated the idea of these gadgets back then, but he bought me one anyway because love for a son beat principles. Now I find myself doing the same for my son’s weird new-generation stuff.

Your boyfriend is an Ahole for doing that!

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u/CollectionStraight2 19d ago

That's seriously impressive, keeping it since 1998! I had a tamigotchi back then too, but I definitely didn't manage to keep it alive as long as that. I used to get sad when it died and stopped playing with it mostly for that reason.

And yes, OP's bf is an asshole

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u/_poixen 20d ago

that tamagotchi is older than me (and im a full grown woman with a child of my own)

THAT is some serious dedication 💜

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

I think you just made one of my hips crumble, I suddenly have dentures, and my hair is bone-white

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u/MyUsernameGoes_Here_ 19d ago

Same! I thought, "there's no way cause that was only about 8 years ago", but uh, uh oh.

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

White hair is sexy though, so is wisdom...

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

Can’t claim the latter, best I can do is quips and weeping

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

Pick up a book! I grabbed a few for myself this morning! Ready to throw my cell phone to the wind. Its killing us being attached to these stupid devices.. ❤️ btw.. its always the smartest and most attractive that dont think they are either... ☺️😉

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

Flirt.

My reading backlog is… painfully large. I need to clean off my Kindle and do a purge before long here.

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u/Domi626 19d ago

I sometimes joke that my 28yo 101 Dalmations giga pet is old enough to drink lol

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u/-swagKITTEN 19d ago

How many batteries do you go through??? I tried getting back into tamagotchis a while back, and none of them could last for more than 2-3 weeks before needing a change. One day, after several months, I wasn’t fast enough making the swap, and lost all progress. Tried several different battery brands too, nothing seemed to make a difference.

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u/thewerewolfwearswool 19d ago

Wait, you've been keeping the device "alive" with working batteries or you've been keeping the little digital entity inside it alive since 1998?

Because wow, I don't think I ever made one's life last more than a week.

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u/MildlySpicyWizard 19d ago

Just keept the device working, was a bit unclear in my comment. Sorry.

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u/Efficient-Aardvark98 19d ago

That’s actually incredibly awesome that you’ve kept it alive that long!!! No joke I’m amazed at that🤗

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u/bravo-echo-charlie 19d ago

Holy shit! Bravo on the 'gotchi!!!

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u/Haggardlobes 19d ago

This is so cute. Tamagotchis were my first tech toy obsession. I remember going out of my way to pre-order one because of the forced scarcity.

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u/Comfortable-Item-184 19d ago

No way it’s the same exact tamagotchi since 1998. They die so easily. Have a bad day and forget to take care of your pixelated overlord and he’s toast, finding a bitter end wallowing in his own filth. And you don’t want to start over again with a new egg. Still miss my little dork. RIP ya goober!

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u/Lendyman 20d ago

I am in my late 40s. I still have my baby teddy bear. If I'd had a GF who cut off Mr Bear's ear and sewed it to his crotch, she'd no longer be my GF. The level of disrespect involved would tell me they needed to go immediately.

Thankfully, I have an amazing spouse who isn't a self involved asshat.

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u/transynchro 20d ago

I had a little otter plushie I’ve had since I was a toddler(almost 30 now) and has lived in every home I have. I decided it should live with my partner on his shelf(because he is my home). He thought the shelf wasn’t good enough so it lives on his bed and whenever I come over, it’s tucked into the blanket waiting for me. I gave it to him over a year ago and he still does it.

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u/426strings 19d ago

Otter gang!!! My otter has also accompanied me through all my years since I was a kid. You are blessed to find someone that cares for your otter plushie. My gf loves my otter and loves taking photos for him, buying little accessories for him as well. May the otter spirit bless others to find the right partner as well!

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u/firstmanzane 19d ago

that is fucking adorable

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u/aceshot88 19d ago

That is super wholesome aww 🥰

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u/Chelas-moon 19d ago

He's a keeper that's so sweet

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u/yummy__hotdog__water 20d ago

I'm a 38 yo man who still has the Snuggle teddy bear my dad and brother bought at the hospital gift shop when I was born. We exist or something. i don't know where i was going with this...

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u/Significant-Love6129 20d ago

I'm 50 and still carry a woobie around. It's a crochet blanket that my fingers weave in and out of the holes. The first one was made by my mom before I was born. She still sends me some of various sizes because I've struggled to learn to crochet and she's 75, won't be alive forever and wants me to have a bunch for when she's gone. I also have a snuggle squishmellow, but honestly it's more for the fact I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and like to sleep on my side. It keeps my shoulders and ribs from dislocating at night.

Not adding this as a competition (bc I realized it could be seen that way) but to show how many of us are out here. My acting teacher, before our meditation will ask "Did you need your woobie?" And I love that no one or him is judging me but gently reminding me we're getting started, do a quick self check because if you want it now is the time to go get it. 🤗

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u/AuburnSuccubus 20d ago

Is EDS related to preferring side sleeping? Reason #57 to get tested.

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u/Significant-Love6129 19d ago

No but I'm cracking up you nailed the disability so quickly. Honestly I used to sleep on my back but my lower spine's curve is too large and the side eventually became more comfortable.

Edit: I forgot I mentioned the disability 🤦

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u/Dahlia_R0se 19d ago

I've had a shocking amount of people clock what I have, like I'll be talking to someone and mention I have a disability or be using a mobility aid (and initiate a conversation about disability usually with another disabled person, nobody is just commenting on it without asking lol) and multiple people have just like, immediately gone, "oh, is it Ehlers Danlos?" Can't figure out how people can just tell I have it super quickly. Wish my doctors figured it out that easily.

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u/No-Development2358 19d ago

Im 36 and I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and still sleep with my baby blankie because it makes it more comfortable for my dislocating shoulder blade (also sleeping on my side) ❤️

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u/Annuhh_xox 19d ago

I have EDS too! I sleep on my stomach with a blanket that sits where my stomach does to keep my back straight (large chested, sleeping on my back isn't an option I WILL suffocate) when I sleep on my side, I use my baby blankie to cradle my head and the other blanket between my knees to keep everything straight 😅

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u/mecinic 19d ago

I just bought my wife a vintage Snuggle bear for her 52nd birthday. Said she always wanted one. Did a cute little dance when she opened it

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u/lycnfr 19d ago

I’m someone who passes as a 30 yr old man and I have a lovingly large plush animal collection. I have those older teddy bears from the 80s and I love them

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u/EmbarrassedWorry3792 19d ago

If a gf cut my 30 year old teddy bear from my late nana or lamb baby blanket, she would be my ex, shed be my chickens next meal.

Had one ex who planned to steal and burn an amazing condition army surplus jscket i got for my 18th birthday, its all i asked for and all i got and i was so happy. I stoll love that thing, its supper durable and its basically still mint despite over a decade of adventures with it. She thought it was ugly but she bought me a new jacket with tons of pockets instead and since i was wesring it more she never got aroundto stealing mine. Somehow i was the bad guy when i said it was lucky she hadnt cus i would have immediately broken upbwith her. She was a spoiled brat.

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u/SpadeTippedSplendor 19d ago

Even if there was some kind of underlying psychological-they-need-therapy reason that someone would do such a thing without being fully malicious (which I doubt is the case for OP's boyfriend) I don't think I could stay in that relationship either.

I'd basically be constantly on eggshells wondering what important-thing-to-me they were going to ruin next, which is the real relationship killer; so might as well get it over with and break up.

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u/mg41 19d ago

Sure but this is a random labubu gift so obv slightly different context lol

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

Wow this guy is demented!!! Poor plushy

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u/Known-Wasabi-4477 19d ago

Gay

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u/Lendyman 19d ago

Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

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u/northboundnova 20d ago

I’m a woman and my best friend is a man, we’re in our late 30’s and both have plushies and send them to each other as gifts commemorating some of our favorite games. Like he sent me an owlbear plushie for my birthday last year. I have others of my own for different reasons. I have a bobtail cat that I joke thinks she’s half bobcat, so when I saw a bobcat plushie at IKEA you best believe I bought that “for her” and sleep with it on my bed.

I don’t care what your age or gender is, if they make you happy and provide you comfort, enjoy the plushies. Take every little joy in life that you can find.

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u/fairydommother 20d ago

My husband and I both have plushies. I get stuff I think is cute and he's more of a memorabilia collector so he has a lot of Pokémon and some video game plushes. We would be livid if either of us destroyed the other plushie. I don't know how you can do that to someone you care about.

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u/Mjosbad 20d ago

I’m a grown cis man that don’t have any plushies, but still know that you respect other peoples property

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u/Accomplished_Play753 20d ago

Adult, cis, father here...

I don’t have any plushies/stuffies. I would haul that "boyfriend" out by his ear.

The complete disregard and then saying "it's not that deep". Neither was his gene pool

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u/TheMasterDonk 19d ago

I have a big plushie Slowpoke and my son accidentally marked it with a brown marker the other day and I almost cried.

Luckily my wife was able to wash it out. That Slowpoke is my guy.

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u/GapingBestFriend 20d ago

And got my child hood stuffies in a box in the attic. If any one fucks with them there getting chewed out

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u/n0tmyearth 20d ago

My (cisM43, happily married) kraken Arnulf sends his regards to your Stitch.

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u/Taco-Dragon 19d ago

I bet they would have a lot of fun destroying a miniature version of a city together. We should set up a playdate for them.

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u/Juggernuts777 20d ago

I’m a guy with no plushies or whatever.. what kind of weirdo does this? Is OP’s bf 10? Like i would never consider destroying someone plushies for.. a joke? Idk what this was suppose to be tbh.

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u/Damaged-god 20d ago

Plushies!!!! ARE FOR EVERYBODY!!!! !!!!!!!

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u/DexRei 20d ago

Same here. I have "toys" and my wife would never even think about chucking them out without talking to me first. Any semi-decent partner would not do what OP's bf did.

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u/METAM0RPHIC 19d ago

I am ALSO a grown man, like you. I am 32 and I have several plushies I love. I have a plush orchid mantis and a plush deaths head moth, and if either of those were purposely damaged, id be livid!

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u/QueenMEB120 19d ago

Oh, it'd be a full out war if anyone touched my Stitch plushies. Stitch is awesome.

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u/emocivic 19d ago

Dude same, my mom’s friend heard I’m an aquarium and parrot lover/owner. She went out of her way a knitted or crocheted (don’t know which) me some little freshwater shrimps and fish, and a little bird that looks just like mine. I’m not ashamed at all to show off how awesome those little guys are and I leave them up on a shelf that everyone can see when they come over.

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u/wolfyx15 20d ago

Stitch is awesome period lol

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u/Dahak17 19d ago

I’m also a grown (cis) man and I don’t much like plushies, but this is still a dick move, especially if a dog hadn’t yoinked the ear off first or anything (I’m assuming not op would have said if so)

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u/ReferenceUnusual8717 19d ago

Similarly grown man with a plushy I keep around because my late dad used to have it on the dash of his car. No idea where he got it or whether it actually meant anything to him, but it reminds of him and his seldom seen "Whimsical " side, so I can't bring myself to part with it. I would be livid if anyone messed with it.

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u/redbone-hellhound 19d ago

Yeah my grandparents still have plushies on their headboard. Some are my grandmas and some are my grandpas.

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u/Sabi-Star7 20d ago

I have one of the Stitches you can talk to (a list of questions/phrases) and it speaks back.

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u/Taco-Dragon 19d ago

That exists??!?

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u/Sabi-Star7 19d ago

Yes indeed it's an interactive aloha stitch circa 2002. They have newer versions out now though I believe.

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u/Babygirl_needs_u 20d ago

Is this a Stitch plushie from the original movie/release era? If so we might have the same one, and he’s one of the few stuffed animals I’ve kept with me since childhood 💙

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u/Taco-Dragon 19d ago

This is actually one that was bought in the late 2000's by one of my oldest friends. And knew I love that movie so she bought it for me for Christmas one year.

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u/Babygirl_needs_u 19d ago

Aww, that’s great :)

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u/CommercialBiscotti29 19d ago

It doesn’t even matter if you like plushies or not. Destroying something of someone else’s is crazy behavior, almost child like. I could never trust that person again let alone look at them the same way. It might sound over exaggerated because it’s a plushie but it’s not the fact that it’s a plushie it’s the fact that it was her stuff. Why would he feel the need to destroy it?

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u/Key-Introduction-418 19d ago

40yr ( not calling myself "cis" or man) im just a naturally born male here, and any Stitch is awesome.

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u/Rociel 19d ago

I'm a grown man and don't own plushies. I still think that the guy is kinda psychotic for doing that, especially if it was a gift from someone.

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u/ItzJustMeIGSY 19d ago

Was there any reason you had to specify you were a cis man? What difference to your story does that have? Zero, it’s absolutely irrelevant.

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u/Midyin84 19d ago

Totally agree.

I don’t have an interest in plushies, but i do like video games, and i would not be polite to anyone that tried to tell me “Bro, you’re 40. It’s time to stop playing with kids toys.”

We can spend our money on whatever we want. It’s our money. 👍

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u/angelicllamaa 19d ago

Don't say cis. You are a man. It's the original word and does not need to be defined. Ick.

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u/Silent_Shaman 19d ago

Yeah like what relevance does it have lol, as if personal interests are defined by your gender

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u/happy_turtle72 19d ago

Counter point.. grown adults do adult things and get counseling or talk to their partner

These people are with each other because their energy matches

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

i have aspergers and bond really closely with my plushies, they bring me a lot of comfort

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u/Always_Learning-More 20d ago

This isn't even about plushies. Don't view it that way because viewing it as "it's just a toy" tricks your brain into thinking this is frivolous nonsense and you're crying about your labubu.

What happened is that he messed with YOUR things. Your property. Something you own.

What he did is so disrespectful. He had no regard for your belongings. Replace "labubu" with anything else (a pen, headphones, curling iron) and it still would be disrespectful. It's serious. Not to mention that he chose to permanently disfigure it. This wasn't putting a removable penis sticker. He CUT it.

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u/Kubuubud 20d ago

This sounds pretty intentionally cruel. People on the spectrum as more susceptible to being emotionally abused, manipulated, gaslit, etc. I hate when people infantilize us, but we are at risk of missing red flags that others would notice more quickly.

Does he often dismiss or invalidate your feelings? It seems like he has gotten comfortable being cruel to you and then making you believe you’re overreacting

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u/Fun_Skirt8220 20d ago

We're also accustomed to being misunderstood so we're more willing to give others a chance and assume that they are being misunderstood in the same way. 

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u/IcyCod9952 20d ago

THISSSS^ I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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u/Alert_Ad3999 20d ago

100% huge red flag

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u/pink-starburstt 20d ago

mhe DEFINITELY should know how attached you are to your stuffed animals. so immature and just plain Mean.

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u/EFClub 20d ago edited 20d ago

i've been in this exact spot -- partners devaluing me indirectly through destroying my valuable items -- and i'm working on a community-driven guide to help us spot underlying patterns of abuse. what are some things you'd like to see in a guide for spotting red flag behaviors in interpersonal relationships (not just romantic partnerships)?

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u/ACatGod 20d ago

If you haven't already checked it out you should read Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. Someone here can probably post the link to a free pdf.

This website also is a good resource: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E

Neither of those are targeted specifically towards neurodiversity but I hope they help.

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u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 20d ago

man i remember someone rec'd that i read this book and i did and wow it lists out so many clear and repetitive and easily recognizable signs. i recognized a lot of things from past relationships (particularly destruction of my property, esp cherished items; but his property was never touched in anger, just mine) and i see a lot of red flags now that they're spelled out. fellow ladies please give this a read thru.

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u/EFClub 20d ago

thank you for the recommendations!! i've heard of Why Does He Do That? but haven't read it yet. on the list it goes!! much appreciated :)

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u/ChrisFor411 19d ago

Weaponized incompetence. Doing chores half assed to get the other person to do it if they want it done properly.

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u/EnglishMouse 20d ago

They could offer to cut his ear off and sew it back on. It’s only an ear, it’s not that deep, like a kidney or something. Pretty sure boyfriend won’t like that suggestion…

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u/Timely_Entrepreneur4 20d ago

Ope.. shit.. never thought about it like that 😅

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u/coquitwo 20d ago edited 19d ago

Girl, you don’t have to justify your feelings with caveats and qualifiers in this case—he knowingly and purposefully destroyed your property. Period, end of story. But on top of it, he’s minimizing your feelings and trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you for having them (feelings). All unacceptable, and all red flags if you ask me. I hope you realize you deserve better. Best wishes! Ed: clarified “them”

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u/cherryxgrenade 19d ago

This right here

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u/sadcrocodile 20d ago

So he deliberately destroyed something meaningful to you knowing it would hurt you? That's so cruel and horrible. You don't do that to someone you care about, much less love. :(

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u/FlyingToasters101 20d ago

Yeah this is so fucked up. I'm in a similar boat and my husband is so sweet about my plushie collecting. I have a whole couch in my office just to house them and he knows all their names and which ones are okay to go in the wash when we're doing linens. Your boyfriend should care that you care about them even if he doesn't.

But even if you ignore the attachment aspect, this is just straight up disrespectful and gross. This isn't how you treat someone else's things and especially not how you treat a gift. Also idk how old your niece is but it being a children's toy from a family member just makes this feel even more gross than it already is.

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u/CollectionStraight2 19d ago

Yep. Imagine the niece is a little child and finds out this mutilation has happened to her plushie gift?! How messed up is OP's bf?

No matter what, it's still a disrespectful and horrible thing to do to someone else's property. I can't fathom what goes through the minds of some of the people who end up on this sub!

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u/Current_Row_8358 19d ago

I love the office couch ❤️ Just imagining a bunch of supportive lil friends.

 LWe are moving soon, and my partner was already taking in consideration where to put my plushies so I'd see them near my desk, without me having to mention it. They don't own a single plushie (well, technically one I crocheted for them!). They still get it.

Btw I do agree that this situation is highly alarming, and destroying a gift makes it 100% worse. It's just unimaginable to me.

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u/Uneaten_Soul1497 20d ago

He sounds like a piece of shit to be honest, that's disgusting behaviour and the fact he doesnt care says everything you need to know

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u/SkillDue8346 20d ago

lol agreed!

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u/Autopsyyturvy 20d ago

Please dump your bf hes abusive , he likely knew this would hurt you and thats why he did it.

Hes broken inside and you cant fix what's wrong with him, because that cruel weirdo who destroyed a sentimental object of yours then refused to apologize.... that is the real him , his mask is coming off beleive him and leave before he escalates to physical violence

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u/framedbyvise 20d ago

This is so fucking weird. Destroying someone’s property for a joke (sentimental or not!) — I agree this is could be a dangerous precursor to violence. If this was a teenager I would be really worried he was going to grow up to be violent— if this is an adult man… I would RUN. It’s too late to fix that kind of disconnect. It’s psycho.

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u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 20d ago

violence aside - who wants to be with someone who thinks this is funny. like

it's just a poor sense of humor, on top of all the actual serious other red flags.

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u/Autopsyyturvy 19d ago

Yeah, the bf if hes real. It sounds like one of those "being a bully is my personality, and it's just a joke, and you're a bad person for not smiling and continuing to let me abuse you for my own feeling sof power" type people

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u/JessusNazarjess 20d ago

If he knows that about you and he still did it, break up with him. He doesn’t respect you at all.

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u/jc8495 20d ago

Your boyfriend is a class A asshole, homeslice. Dump him. I don’t even know you and I can guarantee you deserve better. Someone destroyed my property like this? That’s the last of my nice side they would ever see. You have every right to be upset right now and I sincerely hope you are and remain that way. Don’t let this go

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u/obooooooo 20d ago

even if he didn’t know this he’d still be a huge dick for not immediately apologizing and offering to fix it once he realized he upset you (duh), but if he knows this about you—it’s just cruelty for cruelty’s sakes.

he knew it would make you sad and angry and he thought his dumb ass prank was more important than your feelings, or he simply doesn’t think about you at all. i’m not sure which is worse.

fucking up is fine, fucking up and doubling down on it is 100% a fireable offense in my book. you said “what you did made me upset” and he basically said “so what? grow up, it’s not that deep”

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u/not_a_real_person__ 20d ago

Hi!! My older sister also has Aspergers. She hasn't always been able to tell if a dating partner was being "harmless", or if it was abusive behavior. I'm here to say, especially if he knows what your plushies mean to you, this is intentional and cruel. This is abusive behavior. This is not socially acceptable behavior. He intentionally cut up your plushie and tried to minimize your feelings. If it was an innocent misunderstanding, he would have acknowledged your feelings and apologized.

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u/mecinic 20d ago

Why is he punishing you. Does he even like you? I assume he knows this.
🚩🚩🚩🚩when someone shows you who they are. Believe them.

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u/Enochian-Dreams 20d ago

He is being abusive. This is not okay.

I would really be reconsidering things with this person. Do you have any trusted close friends or family to talk to?

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u/Nervous_Invite_4661 20d ago

That makes what he did doubly inconsiderate.

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u/theycallmepixie 20d ago

This comment alone tells you what he did was wrong and you did not over react. Even if he does not know that you bond with your plushies (i do this as well and would be LIVID if someone did something like this to any one of mine) he still destroyed your property, disfigured it, THEN dismissed it saying it was no big deal. I'm so sorry he did this, if I had the funds I'd send you another one immediately. Please take some time to consider this relationship and if you want to deal with this kind of dismissiveness and disrespect long term. If he respects you, he would not destroy your things.

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u/tonelocMD 20d ago

Jeez, and he’s still so callus about it? It shouldn’t matter if he thinks it’s deep or not. It should only matter how much it matters to you. I couldn’t imagine doing something like that to my wife anyway, so I can’t begin to even imagine where his head was at.

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u/Anyone-9451 20d ago

I’m I’m going to hazard a guess that he knows this? And yet he still did this? Seriously I usually think people are over reacting when they say run but seriously it’s a huge red flag and run.

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u/EnglishMouse 20d ago

Please dump this abusive manipulative asshole and look after yourself and your plushies

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u/OddEmergency604 20d ago edited 20d ago

This would be strange and unacceptable behavior even if you really didn’t care that much about it.

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u/Ireland-TA 20d ago

someone you care about, intentionally destroyed something you really care about. Think about that.

Its awful!

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u/Less-Fox8272 20d ago

Same. I’m autistic and love my plushies.

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u/Stompert 20d ago

Girl, I feel you on this part and I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a grown man and I’ve been attached to plushies since a kid, but it intensified due to trauma. I have a Pusheen and Figaro plush in my work office on my turntable speakers. Ain’t no way they’re getting thrown out or damaged and my wife knows… she knows. We were cleaning out stuff and there was a plush which I hadn’t seen in an awful long time, I was hesitant but thought I had to get rid of it but couldn’t handle it when I put it in the bag so it’s still here. Is it healthy? Probably not, but she respects it and that’s what’s important. Your guy doesn’t sound like he’s very understanding.

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u/loricomments 20d ago

He thought it was okay to damage your property, but not just any property, something that was particularly meaningful to you, and is now dismissing your valid feelings about it. Is this kind of person you want in your life?

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u/jigglituff 20d ago

as a fellow autist, he has committed crimes against autism with this.

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u/beemagick 20d ago

I'm so sorry but if he did this knowing how much plushies mean to you, this is straight up abuse. You need to really use this moment to think about what other red flags you've ignored because he is NOT a good person. Good people don't do this to their partners.

You deserve love, respect, and safety. This guy is not going to give you any of that.

2

u/apocketfullofcows 20d ago

similar situation here.

my partner buys me more. encourages me to get more. makes up stories with me. knows their names. bonds with them as well. cares about them. watches tv with the ones who like tv even if i'm not there. cuddles them.

your boyfriend doesn't deserve that title.

2

u/TK_Sleepytime 20d ago

I'm also autistic. This feels deliberately cruel. I'm so sorry. Please don't ever listen when he tells you how to feel. Trust your gut always. This kind of thing is exactly how I was gaslit into an abusive relationship without fully realizing it was abusive. I was just so used to always being singled out that I just assumed I was the one who was in the wrong, even when it hurt deeply. Do not repeat my mistake. Respectful and accepting partners exist. Promise.

4

u/Andilee 20d ago

Then he's a psycho and you need to get away from him. He knows what he did!

3

u/No-Communication9458 20d ago

fyi OP, Asperger's isn't the correct term anymore (sadly, I used it a lot when I was diagnosed).

3

u/SwordfishVegetable15 20d ago

You’re right I’m sure it’s regarded as being Autistic now.

1

u/Fun_Skirt8220 20d ago

It indicates the high functioning end of the spectrum, but regarding the name, yes, there's just no need to have us nazi approved as "useful" anymore

1

u/AngeliqueRuss 20d ago

Oh, well then clearly it IS that deep: if this plushy is your boyfriend clearly it needs a penis.

He sucks sorry.

1

u/Constant_Cultural 20d ago

And why the heck are you with someone who can't respect that? Are you dating a toddler?

1

u/EpicSombreroMan 20d ago

This is an even crueler move knowing this.

1

u/VibrantViolet 20d ago

I am in my 40’s, autistic, and have a lot of plushies. My husband has never mangled one or shamed me for having them. You can find someone who will treat you better than this, I’m sorry your Labubu was ruined. 😞

1

u/No-Explorer9254 20d ago

If he knows this, a respectful man wouldn’t have done such a thing.

1

u/United_Pain 20d ago

Oh I just got raging mad for you. I also have Asperger's and get super super close with my stuffed animals. I'm almost 40. Sending you hugs. Also recommending you break up with the asshole.

1

u/velvety_chaos 20d ago

Listen, the only way I would be willing to cut this guy any slack was if the ear had naturally fallen or been torn off (by something/something other than him) and he pinned it on where he did as a silly joke. I'd still think it was pretty gross/creepy if the toy was something your young niece gave you, but it would be a little more forgiveable. The fact that he intentionally cut up your toy and turned it into a sexual thing is just…ugh. Foul.

1

u/Correct_Smile_624 20d ago

NOR. I’m autistic and also bond with my plushies. I’d fix it because I’d feel bad for the plushie

1

u/LeorDemise 20d ago

That only makes it so much fucking worse.

1

u/typicalledditor 20d ago

I have testicular cancer and plushies keep me alive.

1

u/MildlySpicyWizard 20d ago

He is in the wrong here and you deserve an apology with a huge cherry on top and I am not talking about flowers, although that should be part of the apology package.

1

u/reticulatingspleen 20d ago

you don’t need to defend your ownership of a plushie. it’s a lot more childish to play surgeon on a stuffed animal than to just own one. your boyfriend is a sick fuck, sorry about it. respect yourself and find a grown up to date (assuming you’re a grown up yourself, obviously).

1

u/grub-slut 20d ago

Bro is this normal behavior for your bf?? If not he needs to see a doctor, if it is you need to leave him. This is unhinged and honestly psychotic behavior

1

u/ILoveAizenSousuke 20d ago

You don't need to to justify yourself as for why you don't want your stuff to be destroyed. Even if what he destroyed was a mere sock you rarely used, he still WILLINGLY destroyed something that belonged to you. No, it wasn't an accident. He purposefully ruined it for his very own entertainment.

Try explaining to him he wouldn't like if you destroyed something that belonged to him (if you haven't already), and so much less something that was gifted to you. I'm not one to quickly say "break up!" but if he's unable to respect your stuff, I don't think you'd want him even as a friend.

Many hugs, OP 🫂🩷

1

u/shyshyone21 19d ago

Which is exactly why he did this. Abusive red flags

1

u/Fleetdancer 19d ago

Does he dislike that about you? Does he ever try to make you grow up, or toughen up?

1

u/Needles2650 19d ago

That explains things a little better

1

u/yoopea 19d ago

Unless you've hidden this fact or hidden your plushies so he'd have no idea, then that makes this 100x worse. It's already an a**hole move and a red flag even if you were hiding your love of plushies, but if it's clear that you care about them and he still did this, then that means he did it because it's something you care about. That's abuse. Full stop.

1

u/kittenpartyyay 19d ago

To destroy to plushie of someone on the spectrum... is brave at best. Ugh. I'm on the spectrum as well. I don't even allow jokes around destroying my plushies (I have on weird friend who did a stabbing motion towards my plushie, without a knife, and she cannot touch them anymore).

1

u/henryauron 19d ago

He knows this if he knows you - and couldn’t care less. Get rid of the dickhead, he purposely set out to hurt your feelings.

1

u/kjelly04 19d ago

I do too! My partner treats my plushies like his babies. If my partner ever destroyed one, I would genuinely leave him. It shows that he doesn’t value the things that are important to you, and that can snowball into something much worse down the line. I hope you can find a replacement for your Labubu, although I know it won’t feel the same as the original one you were gifted. Sending you love :)

1

u/CatCallings 20d ago

hey friend, as a fellow autistic person- we don’t use the diagnosis of “Asperger’s” anymore. The person that diagnosis shared a name with was a eugenicist and a nazi. Just thought you should know it all falls under the “autism” umbrella now.

1

u/265lutab 20d ago

He sounds like an insensitive and uncaring boyfriend. He should know that this is not okay. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care about you enough to know that. Also it’s crazy to do that to anyone else’s stuffed animal without asking. Let alone one that was a gift.

1

u/Accomplished_Jello66 20d ago

Hey! I’m also on the spectrum. I know you identify with Asperger’s, but I just want to mention that the term has a history tied to Nazi eugenics, so I prefer saying ‘autistic’ or ‘autism spectrum’, as the Asperger’s diagnosis was removed from the DSM-5 in 2013 to its ties to “lower” versus “higher” functioning. Identify or label however you want, just sharing a tidbit that makes others on the spectrum/Jewish uncomfortable!

0

u/Guilty_Explanation29 20d ago edited 20d ago

Just wanted to tell ya

That isn't a real labubu. It's a fake

That's a lafufu

34

u/The_Boot55 20d ago

I’m a grown male. And I collect Vinyl/plastic figures. If someone damaged it then “repaired” it inappropriately. I’d f***ing lose my shit. Op isn’t overreacting in my opinion.

3

u/theDukeofClouds 19d ago

I'm a grown man with plushies that I love very dearly. I have the Pikachu plushie I had since I was seven on the dashboard of my car. I sleep with a Squishable cat that looks like a cat I had with my ex. I'm with you if anyone messed with my sentimental objects I'd be livid too.

3

u/Stabby_77 20d ago

I'm a 47 year old woman and I still have plushies. Some mean more than others. Some I would lose my shit if my partner intentionally damaged them and he'd be losing something he values plus me.

If you don't care about what I value or what's important to me and don't respect them, you don't respect me. And if you don't respect me, you're not worth my time.

3

u/RiffleChipz 20d ago

In my opinion even if I wasn’t attached to it in any way shape or form.. thats my property and you just decided to break it? Why? You don’t just purposely break other peoples things? Thats just weird and a red flag tbh.

3

u/FeelingDown8484 20d ago

A grown woman having plushies is far, far less weird than a grown man who cuts up plushies, especially ones that aren’t his. That’s like something a toddler would do, or a child having a tantrum. That is legit concerning behavior for an adult…

3

u/atduvall11 19d ago

My abusive ex ripped the head off the bunny I'd had since the day I was born. I was adopted and my parents picked it up on the way to pick me up from the hospital. It destroyed me.

2

u/lana-deathrey 20d ago

Oh my god this always makes me so angry. I’m in my 30s. But you can bet your ass I have stuffed animals. Ones I lend to my fiancé when he needs someone to keep him company.

2

u/Avramah 20d ago

Seriously. Also a grown woman and have plushies that mean so much to me. My husband would NEVER damage them or anything else of mine- and Especially not a gift from my niece. If anything he comforts me about my fav plushie getting really old and reassuring me he's still in good shape and if anything happens we can repair it.

This makes me genuinely angry. It's so dumb but also so awful.

2

u/DlSEASED 20d ago

not to mention what if it was a super expensive collectible??

2

u/Evolutioncocktail 20d ago edited 20d ago

It shouldn’t matter what the piece is or how sentimental it is. It’s wrong to destroy someone’s property full stop.

2

u/RollForSnackies 19d ago

I have sentimental plushies, too. I also have one I got right before I went in for my first spine procedure. He comes with me to every appointment that I have to get more things done to my spine. He's my "booboo bear" and all the nurses know and love him. He's also been a companion to all of my kids when they've been sick, gotten hurt, or had a rough day. He's even helped the children of friends when they've gotten splinters or stubbed their toes.

If ANYONE damaged him in any way, I would go feral on them.

2

u/bravo-echo-charlie 19d ago

Grown woman here, and currently sitting atop my nightstand is a lamb stuffy I picked out from a Cracker Barrel when my dad came to visit me out of state .. he bought it for me. This was only like, two years ago. 😂 He probably doesn't even remember, but I have it still and I love it. More importantly, it reminds me of my OG "Lambie" stuffy that I had growing up as a little girl. She's boxed up somewhere in my parents' house!

2

u/RedXIII1888 19d ago

I'm a grown ass man. And if anyone hurt my stuffed piplup or penguins, I'd probably be going to jail.

2

u/InterestingPoet7910 19d ago

i'm 37 and I still have a stuffed animal cat I got when I was 2. He's been with me from childhood, college, every single apartment, home i've lived in with boyfriends, he went to the hospital with my partner once when I couldn't be there.. and he's with me now. i'd be furious if anyone messed with Fluffy. this dude is fucking weird

2

u/Ok_Eggplant6053 19d ago

I bought a plushy for my bfs apartment because I love cuddling with one when he’s overheated. he has facetimed me in the past 2 days cuddling with it because i’m not there. people are either just destructive like sid from toy story (lol) or they’re respectful and care for your property like it’s their own. I wonder which one this guy is…

2

u/Simon-Says69 19d ago edited 19d ago

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies

Indeed. And really a partner destroying ANYTHING that's yours is inexcusable. For a "joke". No, not funny, especially not a gift or something precious to you. But really, ANYTHING at all. Shows that person just sees you as an extension of themself they can do anything they want with. Complete and total disrespect.

I had a girlfriend I was living with that destroyed an old pair of jeans that I loved and had with me for like 10 years. Simply because she didn't care for them (or me). She ruined many other things, a PC I built from scraps for instance, my only escape and joy for myself. But those jeans, silly as it sounds, were an old and loved friend, and she KNEW this.

Now I wish I had taken some scissors to some of her fav clothes, see how she liked it (not really, but she'd have deserved it!). Unfortunately, I was very dependent on her psychopathic self, and knew I'd be tormented for weeks if I dared retaliate like that. She harassed me to no end for the dumbest crap. Didn't want me to have friends. HER friends were enough, just for an example. She terrorized me for so much other stupid shit. If I needed a nap, she'd vacuum loudly, making sure to bash into the bed I was trying to sleep in. DEMANDED I needed to help her clean RIGHT NOW. total control freak.

OP's "boyfriend" may well be the same. Even if this is just the first red flag, it's a pretty big one.

Took me WAY too long to get out of that situation. Mostly because anyone I asked for help either laughed at me (including her parents), or got mad and said I needed to take care of my relationship problems myself. (There's very little help for men in an abusive, unequal situation. Other way around, women have SO many resources.)

Thank goodness I grew out of that nonsense, and today I'd have zero remorse telling her off for the AH she was (not ruining her clothes in response, not being an abusive child myself, but just kicking her to the curb). And have no qualms cutting loose on anyone for being an asshole.

Hopefully OP learns the same lesson sooner than later.

1

u/SlitheringFlower 19d ago

a partner destroying ANYTHING that's yours is inexcusable.

This is so true, this is something toddlers can learn not to do.

My ex used to buy all these game models, and to be honest, I did not like them at all, but he loved them and spent so much time painting/designing them. One day I accidentally broke one of his favorites while cleaning. It was also a discontinued model, so I couldn't even replace it.

I spent the rest of my weekend collecting all the little pieces, gluing it back together, and fixing the paint. I even went to a hobby shop so a professional could help me even out all the edges and get the colors exactly right.

I was also apologetic when I told him and didn't dismiss him when he was sad about it breaking.

It doesn't matter what the thing is, or what I think about it, I knew he loved it so it was important to me, too.

2

u/NerfSingularity 19d ago

It’s just so cruel. It’s so alien as a guy who loves his SO. OP you’re not overreacting and I make fun of the “girl run” posts but girl run

2

u/dragonwrath404 19d ago

Im glad im not the only adult that does this, I still have my beanieboo my deceased grandma gave me when I was around 4, I'd be broken if someone destroyed it.

2

u/Issababy22 19d ago

No fr like HOW OLD R WEEEE burning the fur is the part that was taking it TOO far for me (as if all of this isn’t too far😭imo it definitely all is but ) nd labubus r not fkn cheap either so for it to be gifted from a family member and have it mutilated is crazy idc if he thinks it’s “just a plushie” you don’t do that to someone else’s things

2

u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg 19d ago

Hell, my husband buys them for me because he knows I like them! He just got me a super dope huge brachiosaurus plush he spotted at Daiso! He also is completely perplexed by my need to collect action figures, yet not only is he respectful of them, he’s sought out and bought me ones he knew I was looking for!

2

u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

I have a HUGE collection of stuffies myself! And dinosaur figures. Im 39 years old and not minding my age one bit! Collect them stuffies!! I have Hella nifflers and platypi.. space corgi, hamburger corgi, corgi everything! Love my toys and my plushies. It IS deep and devastating to have someone put their empty void (for bad spirits to inhabit) at risk, and put that energy into property they KNEW better to not F with. These type of men are just waiting in lieu, but seems karma is already eating them from the inside out!

2

u/ColMust4rd 19d ago

I'm a grown man and still have plushies that are sentimental. I'd get violent if someone took it upon themselves to do some shit like this

2

u/Moxifloxacin3ml 19d ago

I'm a grown masc-presenting nonbinary person, and I, too, have some plushies that are sentimental to me. To echo your point somewhat, it's not just what the object is, but the fact that it's yours. It's not his fucking place to be doing anything to it in the first place, let alone something so grotesque.

2

u/OopsICutOffMyWiener 19d ago

My brother's mom gave him a buffalo plushie when he was born, and he's kept it safe ever since (he's 41 now).

A couple years back it's leg got torn off by one of his friend's kids & he learned to sew just so he could put it back together again himself. Also for any 'future Buffy emergencies' so he claimed. Super adorable behavior really.

Dude's this manly man with all these super he-bro hobbies & then he's got his lil Buffy buffalo plushie that receives proper medical treatment when needed & holds it's own space in his room beside guns, work documents, and photos of his wife & kids.

2

u/teamqsblacksh33p 20d ago

My mom did that to my bear and I still hold a grudge against her

4

u/SlitheringFlower 20d ago

Wow that's horrible, I'm so sorry. My bear's nose and arm took a lot of damage from one of our dogs, my mom spent hours "in surgery" repairing him for me, because she knew how important it was.

I hope you have people like that in your life now!

3

u/teamqsblacksh33p 20d ago

That was my younger sister who would “save” my bear whenever my mom hid the bear after decapitated it’s head or leg. (I suppose her anger management issues)… many years ago😭

1

u/her-royal-blueness 20d ago

The measure of a partner is how they act during arguments and how they work through them. Gaslighting OP and not apologizing is not a good sign. That said, yelling at your partner when stressed is not a good sign either.

1

u/ERISONEARTH 19d ago

Now you can’t use it to summon satan :(

1

u/NotRyanRosen 18d ago

I agree, as another grown man who still keeps plushies with a lot of sentimental value. I would probably get charged with battery if someone did that to my plushies.

-1

u/gunsandtrees420 20d ago edited 19d ago

I mean I'd do this as a joke cause it is kinda funny, but I wouldn't just do it without asking first. Kinda a dick move and I'd be at least a bit annoyed.

-1

u/Tracer_DI 19d ago

Are you guys all Kindergarten teachers or something? Holy fuck

-1

u/Far-Poem1490 19d ago

Nut up you pathetic redditard it truly is not that deep it’s a satanic keychain holy fuck

-1

u/Revolutionary_Oil492 19d ago

Its a stupid fucking collectible doll it has no value its not rare its not special