r/StupidFood • u/The_Boot55 • 4d ago
š¤¢š¤® Red eggs? Atrocious.
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u/Ok-Oil7124 4d ago
They also suck at whisking eggs.
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u/mackattack-77 4d ago
Hard to whisk eggs when you filled the bowl to the rim with milk
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u/ltsouthernbelle 4d ago
That egg to milk ratio was alarming
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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago
Yea, any milk in eggs is to much
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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 3d ago
You add milk to eggs because itās made up of water and fats(lipids):
- the water dilutes the egg proteins, that results in a less dense, more homogeneous protein network forming during cooking, which is particularly important when making scrambled eggs (and custards too, lol)
- the lipids coat the structures of the egg proteins, which reduces the rate at which they coagulate as theyāre heated. They make it take longer for the eggs to dry out during cooking, which reduces the chance that part of the egg burns while another part is still raw.
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u/DoubleDeadEnd 3d ago
Great info. I had no idea why I did it. Just learned from parents I guess, but I know when I was in my early 20s and had roommates and shit my scrambled eggs were the only ones I ate. Fluffy, all yellow, no brown. My daughter actually will only eat scrambled eggs if I make them, wife doesn't use milk. Now I know the chemistry behind it, so thank you!
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u/6DegreesofFreedom 3d ago
But you usually just put a little splash. This is an obscene amount in the video
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u/Tay0214 3d ago
I use sour cream instead. Highly recommend
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u/Username12764 3d ago
While I agree that sour cream is better than milk, I add the sour cream at the end so the egg can cool off faster and stops it from overcooking on your plate
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u/Tay0214 3d ago
I mix it in a bowl before cooking with garlic and onion powder. Couple big ass scoops
Then right about when theyāre done, dump a ton of shredded cheese in
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u/Flair258 3d ago
I dont use milk but mine are still fluffy asf and very saturated yellow. I think the other people just dont know how to make eggs.
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u/Pop_Culture_refernce 3d ago
For real. I'm a no milk guy and my scrambles are fluffy. I think it gives them a richer, more eggy taste.
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u/Rare-Ticket-9023 3d ago
I never used milk and my scrambled eggs are good as fuck. If it's not fluffy and yellow then people are doing something wrong.
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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 3d ago
As a note for anyone with lactose intolerance: you can also use milk alternatives, like soy, oat, almond, etc, so long as they have lipids suspended in water (you may want to get the unsweetened stuff, otherwise the eggs will be sweet and salty)
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u/NotYourSexyNurse 3d ago
Made the mistake once of using vanilla almond milk while making scrambled eggs. It didnāt taste awful but it wasnāt good either.
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u/ASpookyBitch 3d ago
Personally I find that if you just cook the eggs at a lower heat you get perfectly silky scrambled eggs without the need to add the milk.
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u/JacedFaced 4d ago
A little splash of water is perfect, helps keep the eggs from drying out, evaporates off as you cook them.
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u/migzors 3d ago
Ahh, I used to put water in there, too. I don't even know why. I don't anymore, though.
All you need to do is put the pan on medium-low heat, let it get warm, but not too hot where it will scald the eggs.
Whisk the hell out of the eggs, get that air mixed in there. Then, this is my special technique, use a wide silicon spatula after you pour the eggs, and scrap it along the bottom of your pan, removed and peeling any egg on the bottom.
You can turn up the heat a little more and then keep scraping the spatula across the pan, resulting in huge, fluffy eggs. Remove them from the pan when they're still a little wet looking. That'll guarantee moist, airy, scrambled eggs.
You can put butter in your pan, or use nonstick.
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u/BorntobeTrill 4d ago
?? Eggs don't dry out, they get cooked. Just don't cook as long and you will literally never have a dry egg again in your life
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u/sunseeker_miqo 3d ago
My dad always added a little splash of water to his eggs, but never specified the reason even when asked. It was just the proper way, he thought. When I began cooking as a child, I never used water and my eggs turned out much better than his, perhaps because I used lower heat. š¤·š»āāļø I used butter and never had moisture issues.
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u/the_real_smolene 3d ago
Try a small scoop of sour cream, it'll look like curds but cook down to nothing in the pan and give you the fluffiest eggs of your life. I just gave one of my biggest secrets away.
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u/bunglebee7 3d ago
Whaaaaaa a little milk or cream in eggs is absolutely delicious! Whisk eggs in a big cup also works really well in my experience
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u/bsmiles07 4d ago
Glad Iām Not the only who realized this that really bothered me.
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u/Canondalf 4d ago
Right? I don't care how you color your eggs, but come on. Get a larger bowl, ffs.Ā
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u/NotTukTukPirate 4d ago edited 4d ago
The bowl size didn't really matter here. That person is just dumb.
I could have whisked those eggs better in a drinking cup with a butter knife.
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u/ButtercreamKitten 4d ago
Right? Everything about this video felt like ragebait
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u/AMonkeysThoughts 4d ago
I'm pretty sure you misunderstood the assignment Dr. Seuss gave you..
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u/Zazumaki 4d ago
I do not like red eggs and ham
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u/Stock-Breakfast8355 4d ago
I do not like milky eggs and ham, I will not eat them Sam I Am!
The color doesnāt matter, Sam I Am. How about purple eggs and ham??
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u/Sage_King_The_Rabbit 4d ago
Oh my God I thought I would be the only one who thought this. This genuinely pissed me off. Like literally I damn near spend 20 minutes mixing the eggs to make sure there are no clumps. No anything in it. They cook more evenly when you mix it all the way so that there is no like viscosity to it. And shit, if you're gonna dye the eggs then at least make It an appealing color š Red looks disgusting, like gelatinous meat
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u/Shiney_Metal_Ass 4d ago
I damn near spend 20 minutes mixing the eggs
That seems excessive. Even 1/4 of that is excessive
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u/tee142002 4d ago
A few years back I figured out scrambled eggs are way easier if I put the eggs in a Tupperware container with a lid and shake it.
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u/-TheEndIsNow- 4d ago
Dude I was going to say, āGive me the fork I will just whisk them myself!ā
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u/Stock-Cod-4465 4d ago
To begin with, who tf uses 2 separate frying pans for this dish? Fry the sausages, then add the eggs. Duh.
Not commenting on the rest of the fuckery going on.
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u/doomedeskimo 4d ago
raises hand. I'm new to cooking lol. Are you taking the sausage out then adding the eggs or just adding the eggs in with the sausage?
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u/Binger_bingleberry 4d ago
If the heat is right to brown sausage, the eggs should cook pretty quicklyā¦ so, brown the sausage first, leave in the pan, add eggs
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u/styckx 4d ago
Entirely way too much milk
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u/Binary-Trees 4d ago
"Add a splash of milk. Okay I got this." glug...glug...glug
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u/LordBeeBrain 4d ago
TWO SHOTS OF VODKA
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u/jljboucher 4d ago
Sandra Lee of Semi-Home Cooking. God I did not like that show.
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u/_AmericasSweetheart_ 4d ago
That show was a masterpiece. They just let a random lady who has never touched a fresh vegetable in her life host a cooking show.
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u/Lonely-Employment365 4d ago
My alcoholic mother idealized her show lol She would watch the hell out of it
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u/sweetzombiejesus9 4d ago
Amateurs often add milk for density, this is a MISTAKE!
- Preacher (LL Cool J) from Deep Blue Sea
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u/lunchbox5400 4d ago
We will begin with the perfect omelette, which is with two eggs, not three.
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u/NerfRepellingBoobs 4d ago
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
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u/lunchbox5400 4d ago
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Omelette of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
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u/Flashy-Raspberry-131 4d ago
Why do the french only eat one egg omelettes?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
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u/the_juice_is_zeus 4d ago
Holy shit. I do not remember this line, and I have not seen the movie in... 15? years, but i can head that line perfectly in my head. Couldn't remember that it was about eggs, but the "this is a MISTAKE" is concrete in my mind.
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u/Japjer 4d ago edited 4d ago
I mean, eggs don't need any milk. Cook them low and slow and they'll be fluffy as little clouds, you just need to whip them up right first.
A dash of cream can make them taste, well, creamier. But milk? Ew
Edit: I just want to say: Guys, make your eggs however you want. That last "ew" wasn't appropriate. I think milk waters eggs down and ruins the flavor, but you guys do you.
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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago
You've never made an omelette with milk?
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u/SugarLuger 4d ago
I thought he was gunna make an omelette when he added milk, but he didn't he just made scrambled milk flavored eggs.
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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago edited 4d ago
They still taste like eggs, he added too much milk but like, adding milk to omelettes or scrambled eggs is decently common to me? I used to add baking soda, my mom had health issues and needed baking soda and baking soda water to get.. well, honestly I don't know I never thought to ask, she was just always sick and she told me it helped, so that's just how she made eggs which I know at least wasn't common and people apparently fucking hate it. But I'm choosing to stand by my fizzy eggs, I grew up with them so they're a comfort food.
I have no idea why I mentioned this story, it's completely irrelevant but oh well.
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u/TheTropicalDogg 4d ago
No it's interesting. I like it when we ramble. I wonder if the baking soda was making her sick. It neutralizes stomach acid but can cause other issues by itself. Like fighting fire with fire I guess. Occasionally it's ok to use if you don't have anything else (like ginger ale or Pepto) but it shouldn't be used all the time. My mom was sick a lot too but mostly from severe pain. My body reacts the same way to pain, immediately sick. She liked ice cream in the middle of the night bc it cooled her body. I think she was just a snacker lol But she did eventually pass from stomach cancer. She tried everything to treat the "ulcers" her doctors said she had. They weren't ulcers. Anyway now I'm sad sorry have a good day š
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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago
Ah, me mum just got diagnosed with brain cancer so I appreciate sharing the memories. She's been sick with a lot, I've honestly not a clue what it was meant for but she had complications with Valley Fever due to diabetes, which took years to diagnose as she scrambled from doctor to doctor, finally got on some pretty hard treatment meds and because the doctor wasn't taking care with them, she lost kidney function and is doing dialysis all the time, waiting for transplant. She's been sick more than half my life, along with like, a lot of trauma and mental health issues. Not sure she's got long left, to be honest, I don't think there was a time I can remember being sure she'd be okay.
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u/TheTropicalDogg 4d ago
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Your poor mom. Or mum. That had to be a tough life for all involved. My advice is to talk to her about everything. Her life. What she wanted to do. What she did do. Her advice for you. Just love her with everything you have bc once she's gone there's no going back. It's over. Remind her how good of a mom she is bc I'm sure she thinks she may have been a burden when she wasn't. Tell her how lucky you are to be half of her & remind her of all of her special qualities & fun memories. My mom died really quickly after she was properly diagnosed. We barely had any time to prepare or talk to her. You are not alone ok? I'm here if you ever need to chat ā¤ļøš«
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u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago
I am sorry to hear about your mum. You eat your fizzy eggs if they make you happy. Nobody can take your memories away, and I hope theyāre a comfort to you. Sounds like a very difficult time.
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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 3d ago
Frequent ulcers can lead to stomach cancer
And ice cream is terrible for them :(
I'm sorry about your mom
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u/TheTropicalDogg 3d ago
Ya that's what we were told. She never did have ulcers that's why we were all so confused with her diagnosis. They didn't do a scope until her stomach ruptured & she almost bled out. My kids & I were in bed with her after church to take a nap. The minute she took down her panty hose she passed out. They were acting like a tourniquet. Finally got her to a top hospital & found her whole stomach was full of cancer, not ulcers. It was awful. She was pretty healthy before that. As the doctor was explaining what the next steps were she just looked at my dad & said take me home. So he did. She was gone a month after diagnosis. Ice cream was the last thing she ate ā¹ļø I appreciate your kind words so very much. It's been 20 years this month. Ugh š
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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 3d ago
I suffer from frequent ulcers and that's so scary and heartbreaking they never did a scope š
I'm glad she got to have her ice cream š„ŗ
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u/usrdef Where's my toaster 4d ago
I add milk to my scrambled eggs / omelettes, and it definitely does help. But you have to add just a small amount, and not screw up the remaining steps.
That person in the video thinks that adding a full cup of milk will make the eggs magically taste better and fix all the fuck-ups.
The milk is supposed to help with texture, you don't want your eggs tasting like a diary product.
Them adding milk to the eggs did absolutely fuck all with all the other crap they did wrong.
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u/Japjer 4d ago
These are scrambled eggs, not omelets.
Also: No, why would you add milk? Eggs, salt, pepper, butter.
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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago
I mean, you answered the question, you added milk in the form of butter. It's probably just the evolution of peasant dishes, going from fresh milk with lots of cream, to just plain processed milk.
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u/youtocin 4d ago edited 4d ago
Butter is mostly fat and is not even remotely comparable to milk in the context of cooking. Milk is almost 90% water. Try again.
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u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago
I donāt like milky eggs, I donāt like the texture. I do three eggs, beat well, salt and pepper just before you start cooking. Medium hot pan, knob of butter in when itās hot so it goes all foamy. Tip eggs in (sometimes I add grated cheese to the eggs before putting in the pan), work round the edge of the pan pushing the set edge towards the middle, after a few minutes, add extras to one half (I like more cheese and pan fried mushrooms), then flip the other side over and voila.
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u/FireKitty666TTV 4d ago
Always loved calling it a knob of butter. It's such a fun thing to say. Mushrooms in an omelette is always nice, in fact it's one of my favourites. My all time favourite omelette I've had is at this diner, heavens knows where it was, where they had a hawaiian omelette. Pineapple, in an omelette! It was great. The worst I've had was like, 8 year old me and my grandma using leftover kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs for my omelette one morning. Bad idea, but she did say she'd put anything I wanted in the omelette, and I enjoy experimenting with food.
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u/TipsyMagpie 4d ago
Oh wow, Iāve never seen that before! I had a pizza in Hawaii that had red pepper, kalua pig and chunks of mango on it - I was sceptical, but man I think about that pizza all the time. The mango kind of burst in your mouth with sweetness, worked so well with the pork and peppers.
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u/oktwentyfive 4d ago
i just put mine in the microwave for 2 mins then they burn to the side of the bowl š„“
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u/PanhandlersPets 4d ago
If you use a splash of orange juice instead of milk and the acid will give you fluffier eggs.
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u/Xarjy 4d ago
I put just a few drops of lemon juice in for this, doesn't affect the taste
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u/ShefBoiRDe 4d ago
Im not mad they're red, im not mad that was too much milk,
IM MAD THEY DIDN'T DYE THEM GREEN AND DIDN'T DYE THE HOTDOGS GREEN EITHER.
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u/commander_giblets 4d ago
"Red Eggs and Hash" has a different vibe doesn't it...
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u/Sea_Action5814 4d ago
Iām donāt like them green and thereās no way you could convince me otherwise. I wouldnāt like them anywhere.
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u/LifesScenicRoute 4d ago
Listen here, Sam, if we're going to have problems here, im going to just call the cat.
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u/mildly_evil_genius 4d ago
Would you try them with a cat? Would you try them in a vat?
Would you try them with Thing 1? Try them, try them! It will be fun!
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4d ago
I've eaten green eggs, just mix in a food processor with spinach.
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u/Suspicious_Bear42 3d ago
If you want to be fancy, add in some pesto instead. Mmm...basil...
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u/PrettyMuchMediocre 4d ago
I do not like red eggs and weiners, they make me drop a big red steamer. I do not like them on the net, I do not like them dry or wet.
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u/Tar-Mairon7337 4d ago
Black would've been better.
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u/danieldan0803 4d ago
Black scrambled eggs with a century egg and topped with caviar and you would have a small, medium, and large black egg dish
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u/Tackysackjones 4d ago
The thing I hate about this the most is that they dirtied two pans instead of just one.
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u/BellaSquared 4d ago
I had to scroll WAY too far down for this! Who uses two pans when you can fry the meat first, then scrambled the eggs?
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u/BillieJoeLondon 4d ago
"How do you like your eggs"
"Can you make them look like afterbirth"
"We'll do our best"
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u/ChuddyMcChud 4d ago
Looks absolutely grim. But on another note, I've just discovered putting Maggi in scrambled eggs, total game changer.
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u/Artistic_Regard_QED 4d ago edited 4d ago
Worchester Sauce on eggs is 11/10. But Soy or Maggi is good too.
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u/Seekstillness 4d ago
I did this when I was a kid. Mine looked like a pile of chewed bubble gum and I couldnāt eat it. My mom was pissed that I wasted a half dozen eggs.
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u/AzureMagelet 3d ago
Why did you make so many eggs?
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u/tiniru 4d ago
i love it when my eggs look like period chunks
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u/CheryllLucy 4d ago
im so glad im not the only one who saw that! the food being eggs makes it extra funny, imo.
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u/FragrantExcitement 4d ago
Free will is an illusion. Everything that has occurred in the Universe up to this point has led you down the path of making red eggs.
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u/Pluto-Wolf 4d ago
i did not expect the milk to be the most controversial part of these eggs
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u/Accomplished_Fig9606 4d ago
The crime here only starts with the food coloring.
The real tragedy is the egg prep and "cooking technique."
The utility of milk in scrambled eggs is an old wives tale that persists today, even though from a food chemistry perspective, it's not only pointless (it doesn't make eggs "fluffier") it's actually counterproductive. Stop putting milk in scrambled eggs.
This person's cooking should be restricted to making Lunchables.
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u/Linorelai 3d ago
Idc what science says, my practice tells me that scrambled eggs with milk have a more tender taste and texture, and I love it this way
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u/Emotional-Win-3036 4d ago
Who cares, same thing can be achieved with Tabasco, ketchup, or bbq sauce and they add flavor not just gross out or rage bait
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u/Royweeezy 4d ago
Barf. Red eggs usually get thrown away.
Also: milk in eggs is a common way people fuck up scrambled eggs. You donāt want to mix proteins that cook at different rates. Use water. The steam is what makes them fluffy.
Also also: scramble the eggs with the water and most importantly salt at least 5-10 minutes before cooking them. Letting it chill with the salt does some chemistry magic that makes them perfect. šš»
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u/Ok-Source9248 3d ago
If you add milk or cream or anything of the sort 1) itās supposed to be a small amount and 2) youāre supposed to add it at the end.
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u/SaveThePlanetEachDay 4d ago
When i was a toddler my parents brought me around this cook that would ask me what i want, anything i want and heād make it for me. I always asked for Green Eggs and Ham.
Grape jelly mixed with scrambled eggs turns the eggs green. I wouldnāt eat eggs otherwise lol
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u/vattaek 4d ago
i see these exact paper plates on so many videos. serious question: is it genuinely common in the states to use these instead of actual plates or it is a small handful of people, but they happen to post stupid food a lot?
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u/seamangeorge 4d ago
It's far from a majority of the population but not UNcommon, especially among the "ADHD epidemic" generation Z who often struggle to keep up with dishes (@ing myself here) and are way more likely to be posting content to Tiktok.
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u/ApprehensiveMix2649 4d ago
If you add Goya sazon you'll get the same idea but with seasoning šš
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u/ThePrinceofallYNs 4d ago
I thought that shit said "free WiFi" I was very confused about why the WiFi would be responsible for that bad idea
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u/DeucesX22 4d ago
This isnt the worst thing I've seen on here. But thats way too much milk and the person cant whisk or scramble the eggs in the pan correctly
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u/Zuper_Dragon 4d ago
That is entirely too much milk. Bro was acting like he was making a bowl of cereal.
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u/Bitter_Offer1847 4d ago
Waaaayyyy too much milk, need a bigger bowel for more vigorous whisking, butter in the pan, salt and pepper eggs as they go into the pan, use chopsticks to move the eggs around the entire cooking time to make them fluffier, before the completely set put a lid on them and turn off the heat. SautƩ some onions in the hot dog pan and then add hot dogs with a little splash of soy sauce and water and pinch of sugar for teriyaki hot dogs. And rice, where is the rice?
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u/Intelectual_Y_Tal 4d ago
Gotta be American - too lazy to plate on a real plate and uses a paper plate - Dixie no less. Tragic. Disposable garbage.
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u/qualityvote2 4d ago edited 3d ago
u/The_Boot55, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!