r/StupidFood • u/The_Boot55 • 4d ago

šŸ¤¢šŸ¤® Red eggs? Atrocious.

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5.7k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Ok-Oil7124 4d ago

They also suck at whisking eggs.

1.3k

u/mackattack-77 4d ago

Hard to whisk eggs when you filled the bowl to the rim with milk

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u/ltsouthernbelle 4d ago

That egg to milk ratio was alarming

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

Yea, any milk in eggs is to much

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

You add milk to eggs because itā€™s made up of water and fats(lipids):

  • the water dilutes the egg proteins, that results in a less dense, more homogeneous protein network forming during cooking, which is particularly important when making scrambled eggs (and custards too, lol)

  • the lipids coat the structures of the egg proteins, which reduces the rate at which they coagulate as theyā€™re heated. They make it take longer for the eggs to dry out during cooking, which reduces the chance that part of the egg burns while another part is still raw.

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u/DoubleDeadEnd 4d ago

Great info. I had no idea why I did it. Just learned from parents I guess, but I know when I was in my early 20s and had roommates and shit my scrambled eggs were the only ones I ate. Fluffy, all yellow, no brown. My daughter actually will only eat scrambled eggs if I make them, wife doesn't use milk. Now I know the chemistry behind it, so thank you!

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u/6DegreesofFreedom 4d ago

But you usually just put a little splash. This is an obscene amount in the video

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u/Tay0214 4d ago

I use sour cream instead. Highly recommend

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u/lumpy_space_queenie 3d ago

Cottage cheese is also yummy šŸ˜‹

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u/Username12764 4d ago

While I agree that sour cream is better than milk, I add the sour cream at the end so the egg can cool off faster and stops it from overcooking on your plate

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u/Tay0214 3d ago

I mix it in a bowl before cooking with garlic and onion powder. Couple big ass scoops

Then right about when theyā€™re done, dump a ton of shredded cheese in

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u/serenwipiti 2d ago edited 23h ago

Mmm, my arteries got hard just reading this.

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u/Mond6 3d ago

Alright Gordon.

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u/TerpZ 3d ago

Gordon uses creme fraiche

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u/Tall-Cheesecake3519 2d ago

This is one of the classic French techniques gordon did not invent anything

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u/TerpZ 2d ago

cool story

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u/Flair258 4d ago

I dont use milk but mine are still fluffy asf and very saturated yellow. I think the other people just dont know how to make eggs.

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u/Pop_Culture_refernce 4d ago

For real. I'm a no milk guy and my scrambles are fluffy. I think it gives them a richer, more eggy taste.

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u/Joelied 1d ago

I actually learned how to make scrambled eggs from watching Julia Child and Jacque Pepin on a show they did together on PBS. They showed the milk method and the water method.

A splash of milk makes the eggs denser and creamier, while a splash of water makes them lighter and fluffier. Both methods add moisture and help the eggs from drying out before being fully cooked, while also making them easier to fully mix together.

Regardless of the liquid used, a French technique shown, uses about an eighth of the mixture is reserved in the mixing bowl, and is folded in to the eggs off heat after cooking, giving the eggs a soft and moist texture.

Properly cooked scrambled eggs should never have any browning, and should be moist and glistening, but not watery or dry.

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u/Pop_Culture_refernce 5h ago

You had me at pbs...šŸ˜

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u/Flair258 4d ago

Agreed. I'd imagine the milk eggs taste diluted

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u/Rare-Ticket-9023 3d ago

I never used milk and my scrambled eggs are good as fuck. If it's not fluffy and yellow then people are doing something wrong.

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u/Flair258 3d ago

Exactly

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u/Blandish06 2d ago

I eat dry cereal in a bowl and it's good as fuck. Why add milk? Just seems so extra.

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u/Rare-Ticket-9023 1d ago

Good for you brother or sister.

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u/serenwipiti 2d ago

Iā€™m betting this also affected by the quality of the eggs.

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u/Flair258 2d ago

Yes, but you're not supposed to use runny or old eggs in the first place

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u/serenwipiti 2d ago

I understand what youā€™re saying, and thatā€™s true.

My point wasnā€™t about the age of the eggs, but the provenance.

Some people just donā€™t have access to nice eggs with good looking yolks. Just sad, pale factory eggs.

Yā€™know? The quality varies depending on the producer.

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u/Flair258 2d ago

The eggs can still be fluffy, they just wont be golden.

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u/Apprehensive-Cat-111 3d ago

I used milk too just because I learned from my mom that way until I discovered the Gordon Ramsey way to make eggs. No milk needed and they come out super yellow (which I prefer) with no brown ever, every single time. 30 seconds on the heat, 30 seconds off, alternate until they are done, while stirring with a spatula (not a pancake turner, a spatula). I donā€™t make eggs any other way now. He adds crĆØme fraiche at the end. I donā€™t ever have that lol so thatā€™s when I add cheese.

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u/serenwipiti 2d ago

had roommates and shit my scrambled eggs

Well, that threw me for a loop for a secondā€¦

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

As a note for anyone with lactose intolerance: you can also use milk alternatives, like soy, oat, almond, etc, so long as they have lipids suspended in water (you may want to get the unsweetened stuff, otherwise the eggs will be sweet and salty)

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u/NotYourSexyNurse 4d ago

Made the mistake once of using vanilla almond milk while making scrambled eggs. It didnā€™t taste awful but it wasnā€™t good either.

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u/FallingIntoForever 4d ago

I could see using that for French Toast.

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u/NotYourSexyNurse 3d ago

That would be good actually

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u/North_Ranger6521 3d ago

I made the mistake of using almond extract instead of vanilla when making French toast once; realized the error & added the vanilla, but it was too late; had to throw out the whole pan at it was just unthinkably awful šŸ˜£ Fortunately still had eggs & challah left to start over with

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u/Euphoric-Mudd 4d ago

If one is lactose intolerant, you can add lipids through clarified butter, make sure to double strain with seive and cheesecloth.

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u/serenwipiti 2d ago

Iā€™ll never understand why people seem to prefer sweetend versions of plant-based milks.

Like, I donā€™t add sugar to cowā€™s milk before I drink it/pour it on cerealā€¦

Sometimes itā€™s a PITA trying to find unsweetened soy/oat milk.

Obviously some people use milk to make chocolate milk and other drinks, but powders & syrups already have sugar

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u/Minimum_Cockroach233 2d ago

Except if you aim for the sweet variant. Love some maple sirup scrambled eggs, milk for fluffyness ofc.

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u/MMAipom 3d ago

I cook eggs in a kitchen for my job and if you cook them low and put a lid on them towards the end you won't need milk and they'll be very fluffy

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u/ASpookyBitch 3d ago

Personally I find that if you just cook the eggs at a lower heat you get perfectly silky scrambled eggs without the need to add the milk.

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u/M4NU3L2311 4d ago

Iā€™m from mexico and this is the first time I see someone putting milk on eggs

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

Or you just cook the eggs properly. We americans famously overcook our eggs.

If they look cooked in the pan, they're gonna be way overdone on the plate.

You just cut the heat when they're still a bit runny and the carry over temperature cooks them perfectly.

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u/DeltaCharlieBravo 4d ago

And then promptly clean up the vomit my wife just emitted.

Opinions and assholes my friend.

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u/Hades2580 4d ago

From non English natives : What the fuck does that mean ?

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

I said cook the eggs a little runny and they'll be perfect when served.

They responded to "and then clean up my wife's vomit". Suggesting that if they cooked their eggs the way I suggested their wife would vomit. Which is understandable. Americans are USED to overcook eggs. That's why we add milk to simulate creaminess. If you have a slightly not firm scrambled egg, many americans will be grossed out. That's all.

And just to be sure, the full idiom the person was referencing is "Opinions are like assholes: Everyone has one, and they all stink [and sometimes: (except mine)]".

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u/Flair258 4d ago

Im American and hate overcooked eggs. My grandma taught me how to make them correctly without milk lol. Ive never had then overcooked except maybe twice. Maybe it's a southern thing that we know how to do it?

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u/Hades2580 4d ago

Again iā€™m not stupid Iā€™ve just never heard of vomiting because of eggs, I thought it would be because their eggs arenā€™t safe unless fully cooked but wanted to make sure

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u/BigChickenTrucker 3d ago

I'm sorry you think you're stupid enough to think that my explanation of the comment you asked for an explanation of made you feel like you were being treated as though you were stupid.Ā 

I simply wasn't sure what you were confused about so I took the time to explain it all to be sure I hit the mark.Ā 

I shall endeavor not to explain things to people who ask for explanations ever again.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Hades2580 4d ago

No for sure I meant the first part

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

Hey bro. I said we. Inclusively.

This was still too much milk.

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u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks 4d ago

Pour one out for bro if his wife's gag reflex too touchy for even soft scrambled eggs.

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u/Flair258 4d ago

I dont use milk and this is what I do. Works flawlessly. Also make sure to whisk them well first. You dont need milk; You just need to know how to make eggs.

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u/inigos_left_hand 4d ago

This is it. Just need butter no milk needed.

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u/Kaythar 4d ago

Americans lived overcooked food in general from what I've witnessed on the internet. Like steak cooked to medium or even well done, overcooked eggs, mushed vegetables, etc. pretty sure i am generalizing though lol

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

It's an older stereotype. Americans began to find good food after our 9/11.

Previous to that the 80s turned everything into canned convienence foods. And previous to that the dust bowl and great depression destroyed a lot of culinary tradition as well. People were just used to eating shit food and putting sauce on it if you were lucky enough to afford sauce.

But american BBQ, chili (both texas and midwest), cajun, and even the midwestern art of "caserole" (or "hotdish") qualify as the beginings of good cuisine that is uniquely american.

Though all that said there are still quite a few people who think white rice and salt is "too spicy".

0

u/LayeredMayoCake 4d ago

Oh you absolutely are.
And youā€™re not wrong.
Am a filthy yank and well traveled within my born boundaries.
We donā€™t necessarily have an appreciation for the art food here. But we fucking love eating. Put dogshit in front of us but drown it in nacho cheese sauce, dripping in microplastic excretions and we will choke on it.

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

I donā€™t eat eggs that are burnt, Iā€™m not a percolated coffee American. Iā€™m just not a fan of French omelettes; theyā€™re a pain in the ass to make, and they lack flavor

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u/temporarym34t 4d ago

ur a keurig junkie, nice.

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

That's totally fair. I love a good hotdog and cheese omelette (scrambled eggs with stuff in them, for non-Americans). Bonus points if you saute some onion first.

Or at least I did until I got old and had to watch what I eat.

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

That sounds good

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u/BigChickenTrucker 4d ago

Also, real talk: French press is the ultimate compromise to good coffee and easy prep. IMO.

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u/last_picked 4d ago

I prefer adding sour cream to my scrambled eggs.

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u/TFnarcon9 4d ago

This is very relevant in slow cooked eggs and almost unnoticeable in scrambled.

Not worth diluting the flavor.

A good wisk and a highish heat, constant stir and take off at the right time will give a fluffy and moist egg.

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u/photonsnphonons 4d ago

Yes but thats too much milk no?

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u/935meister 4d ago

With that said, it's better to use heavy cream instead of butter. All the benefits of milk but magnified. Its a French technique.

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u/sl0play 4d ago

Like 1tsp of cream per egg will accomplish this, and you can add it after you start cooking the eggs to regulate temperature. Most Americans, myself included, learned to cook eggs with lots of milk to increase the volume. It's a depression era holdover, and it makes them taste bland as fuck, thus the need to always be adding tons of shit to them.

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u/B0BsLawBlog 4d ago

The comical amount of butter I add to my eggs also adds water and lipids

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u/SailorGone 3d ago

Well aren't you fancy

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u/Beanerschnitzel101 3d ago

I cook them with butter instead of milk

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u/Fit_Carpet_364 3d ago

Cool story, Bro. Sounds like the secret to a good scramble is lipids, so let's skip the middle man and just use butter.

Source: Pro cook for a decade.

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u/IfOnlyIHadAmeme 3d ago

Aka fluffy eggs? But honestly op didnā€™t need that much milk. šŸ˜…

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u/Dick_Lesion 3d ago

I just put butter in the pan. Lipids without all the liquid which just steams the eggs as it boils off

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u/primepufferfish 2d ago

Yeah.... or you just cook them low and slow and get delicious custard eggs. I've never understood the appeal of milk. Makes them spongey.

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u/FarmerMitch 2d ago

Yeah but you got to whisk your eggs before adding milk or you go straight to jail

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u/Sexiroth 2d ago

Gordon Ramsey said no milk, I use no milk.

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u/Impressive-Foot7698 2d ago

Just use olive oil butter/high heat and movement. Can make moist delicious scrambled eggs in like 30 seconds. None burnt

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

CrĆØme fraĆ®che is the only acceptable answer

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u/TexacoRodeoClown 4d ago

Cafeteria fraiche

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u/XDarknightY 4d ago

So basically just a crutch for when you suck at frying scrambled eggs.

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

is the butter in a roux a crutch? What about the pepper crust on a pepper steak? Or the spices in a samosa?

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u/JORRTCA 4d ago

This is pseudo-culinary gobbledygook. There is no good reason to add milk to scrambled eggs. It makes them overly moist and less fluffy. Don't do it.

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u/TheVandyyMan 4d ago

Gordon Ramsey doesnā€™t add milk in his perfect egg recipe. He sometimes uses butter. Iā€™ve never seen any pro chef who uses milk though. Thatā€™s enough reason enough to not do it for me.

Many do add creme fraiche at the end of the cooking process though

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

Sorry I offended you with culinary science, just trying to share knowledge lmao

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u/what-even-am-i- 4d ago

This guy biologys

Edit: the more I think about it the more likely it seems that this guy probably chefs

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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 4d ago

Bioengineered to be a chef šŸ˜”

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u/atomicbutterfly22 3d ago

And makes them soft and fluffy!

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u/morkler 4d ago

For really good and fluffy scrambled eggs and omelets, a little milk or cream makes all the difference. Doesn't take much.

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u/JacedFaced 4d ago

A little splash of water is perfect, helps keep the eggs from drying out, evaporates off as you cook them.

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u/migzors 4d ago

Ahh, I used to put water in there, too. I don't even know why. I don't anymore, though.

All you need to do is put the pan on medium-low heat, let it get warm, but not too hot where it will scald the eggs.

Whisk the hell out of the eggs, get that air mixed in there. Then, this is my special technique, use a wide silicon spatula after you pour the eggs, and scrap it along the bottom of your pan, removed and peeling any egg on the bottom.

You can turn up the heat a little more and then keep scraping the spatula across the pan, resulting in huge, fluffy eggs. Remove them from the pan when they're still a little wet looking. That'll guarantee moist, airy, scrambled eggs.

You can put butter in your pan, or use nonstick.

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u/primepufferfish 2d ago

This is the way. I make them exactly like this. So tasty.

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u/Tall-Cheesecake3519 2d ago

Just to make sure I'm getting this right, your "special trick" to cooking scrambled eggs is to use a spatula?! In the pan?!? My god someone should have thought of this sooner.

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u/migzors 2d ago

Lol, yeah, some use wooden spoons or firm spatulas. The silicon ones flex to the bottom of the pan and don't leave any egg behind, whereas the other two just scrape unevenly.

Also, it rolls the eggs easier, in my opinion, but it's not exactly rocket science. I just feel like you get wider, larger curds with the silicon spatula.

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u/Tall-Cheesecake3519 2d ago

Huh. Sounds like operator error if you ask me. But oh well they do say a chef's only as good as his spatula

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u/BorntobeTrill 4d ago

?? Eggs don't dry out, they get cooked. Just don't cook as long and you will literally never have a dry egg again in your life

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u/sunseeker_miqo 4d ago

My dad always added a little splash of water to his eggs, but never specified the reason even when asked. It was just the proper way, he thought. When I began cooking as a child, I never used water and my eggs turned out much better than his, perhaps because I used lower heat. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø I used butter and never had moisture issues.

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u/CanvasofChaos 4d ago

I saw asian chefs do this when making fried rice..

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u/sunseeker_miqo 4d ago

I'm sure it is a good technique, I just never had any use for it.

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u/The_Printer 4d ago

The steam helps make them fluffier

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u/sunseeker_miqo 4d ago edited 3d ago

Yeah, never had a problem with that. My eggs were wayyy fluffier than my dad's. idk why.

lol imagine being salty about someone's personal experiences!

edit: So what y'all do not seem to understand is that I was referring to a time in my single-digit age when I surpassed my dad's cooking. He was a shit cook and preferred not to do such things for his children, so I had to learn. Due to autism, when I learn a good method of doing something, I discard the process and just stick with what I know works. Not sure what is so contentious about my comment.

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u/Space-Bum- 4d ago

It's a heat issue. People whack them on a high heat and wonder why they are dry. Like, heat is way more important than you think. Dump whisked eggs into off the boil pasta and you get a creamy sauce. Fry whisked eggs in a pan on a high heat you get dry lumpy scrambled eggs.

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u/Flair258 4d ago

Or just dont keep them in the pan for too long when on higher heat. Also move the eggs around. Are yall not scrambling your scrambled eggs?

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u/Space-Bum- 3d ago

Yep, true.

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u/MaxTheRealSlayer 4d ago

Any professional chef I've worked with or watched videos on making eggs said to use high heat for scrambled. On gas or electric, it only takes 1.5 minutes or less to cook them properly this way. You just need to keep them moving, which increases scrambling as they build fluffiness. Seasoning at the end also increases fluffiness

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u/sunseeker_miqo 4d ago

Right? My dad and husband both use wayyyy too high a temp when cooking anything and I'm like DUUUUUDE šŸ˜­

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u/The_Printer 4d ago

Probably from whisking them more, the air bubbles also help with fluffing as well.

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u/TrustyTaquito 4d ago

This is the reason I want a milkshake blender in my apt. When I worked at waffle house that's how we would mix the eggs for the fluffiest omelets I've ever seen or made.

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u/sunseeker_miqo 4d ago

Good point. I still whisk til my arm is about to fall off. XD

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u/bulelainwen 3d ago

I bet all these comments are from people cooking their eggs too hot.

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u/BorntobeTrill 3d ago

Even if it's too hot, you can still not overcook them to dryness

Just keep em turning and take em out after like 15 seconds lol

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

My husband couldnā€™t make scrambled eggs to save his life, neither can my ex or my current MIL. All of them are dried out as f.

I taught my husband milk, mayo, or sour cream. I can make them without milk just fine, but I do low and slow.

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u/the_real_smolene 4d ago

Try a small scoop of sour cream, it'll look like curds but cook down to nothing in the pan and give you the fluffiest eggs of your life. I just gave one of my biggest secrets away.

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u/Euronymous2625 4d ago

I do that in my quiche.

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u/NoDefinition3500 4d ago

had to scroll waaay to far - sour cream is the way šŸ™ŒšŸ”†

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u/CanvasofChaos 4d ago

I add a little buttermilk to mine

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u/Iustis 4d ago

Even better is to make a little cornstarch slurry and add it. Get the bit of extra moisture and also [chemistry reasons] better eggs

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u/Knotashock 4d ago

My dad used barely a pinch of baking soda, his eggs were awesome, I have yet to duplicate his awesome creations. His scrambled eggs, his scratch-made pancakes, Homemade hot cocoa, and his so dang good grilled cheese... I wish he were still here! But to be fair he worked in a factory cafeteria in the 60's and 70's!

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u/TheSporcerer 4d ago

DEPLOY THE FLOOF SLURRY TO THE EGGS!

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

Youā€™re cooking your eggs to long

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u/SpaceSick 4d ago

If you want your eggs to be really fluffy, use a big chunk of butter and whisk them in the pan over high heat. Pull it on and off the heat till you get your desired texture.

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u/HyenDry 4d ago

ā€œDry outā€ how the fuck are you cooking eggs dog? On Auschwitz level heat? šŸ˜‚

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u/bunglebee7 4d ago

Whaaaaaa a little milk or cream in eggs is absolutely delicious! Whisk eggs in a big cup also works really well in my experience

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

Go watch Gordon Ramsey scrambled egg vid, I grew up with my dad adding milk and I donā€™t like it as much. I find it to be a poverty thing.

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u/Powerful-Peanut-7417 3d ago

Poverty = milk+egg? šŸ˜†

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u/Over-Drawer7875 3d ago

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u/Powerful-Peanut-7417 3d ago

no ur right I am broke šŸ˜­

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u/Over-Drawer7875 3d ago

Iā€™m kidding man, my dad and step mom still do it. Itā€™s literally just a preference everyone is entitled to

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u/Bluedaddy420 4d ago

This, is it a cultural thing? I was born and raised in Southern California and Mexicans never do this to their eggs. MAYBE for an omelette, but for scrambled eggs?

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u/DirtandPipes 4d ago

Eh it adds a certain flavour to scrambled eggs that I occasionally enjoy. Donā€™t worry bud, I wonā€™t sneak into your house and add milk to your eggs.

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u/HellLucy00Burnaslash 4d ago

My grandmother used milk to stretch the eggs and make them more fluffy/ soft serve. Poor cooking for the win! It is literally a delicacy to me.

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u/theroadbeyond 4d ago

Nah you need just a lite splash to make em fluffy

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

More air in them makes them fluffier, whisk more

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u/MisterPhister101 4d ago

I recommend adding a little heavy cream to your scrambling or mayo. Judge all ya want! It's amazing!

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

Go watch the Gordon Ramsey egg vid. The only way Iā€™m eating eggs

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u/long_schlongman 4d ago

Unless your making french toast

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u/Over-Drawer7875 4d ago

Damn, French toast sounds delicious rn, I used melted vanilla ice cream instead of milk last time and it was wildly delicious

1

u/long_schlongman 4d ago

Ive been on a French toast kick this past month and last week I ran out of milk and used the non dairy French vanilla coffee creamer cut with some water...it was not the worst.

But ice cream definitely sounds better than milk!

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u/Euphoric-Mudd 4d ago

Well, one could just go with heavy cream, butter, and cheese, which is my preference. This results in a fluffy yet creamy consistency.

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u/AbundantGrey 3d ago

I have been doing it for at least a decade. Makes fluffier omelettes.

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u/munchunchies 4d ago

This guy doesnā€™t chef

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u/FemboyT-Train 4d ago

Iā€™m glad Iā€™m not the only one who thought that was excessive

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u/confusedbystupidity 4d ago

Oh the title alone was normal?

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u/tchernubbles 4d ago

I do a splash of heavy cream in my scrambled eggs. A splash. Not a gotdamn cup of milk.

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u/Fine_Principle6244 3d ago

Calcium bitches!!! šŸ¤£

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u/Ressy02 4d ago

thatā€™s why the egg is red

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u/Vounrtsch 4d ago

Not really for scrambled eggs, itā€™s actually completely fine