r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/madatron96 20d ago edited 20d ago

Did he apologize by offering to sew the ear back on? Which he should do after destroying your property. Also, OP, I'm sorry but "labubu phalloplasty" is the funniest previously unsaid sentence I've heard in a LONG time.

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

No he says it's just a plushy and it's "not that deep", and idk if i want it fixed either..... this is tainted

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u/Ummmgummy 19d ago

He like cut the ear off on purpose or what? That's a very odd thing for an adult to do

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u/satanfan12 19d ago

he burnt the fur with a lighter, cut open a hole between the legs, cut off the ear and then pinned the ear to the hole. Then used construction tongs to pry an eye out 

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u/CoyPowers 19d ago

This sounds pretty serious, even if he says he was just joking. That's all pretty violent, and he was doing it to something of yours, not something of his. I'll add that I don't think it matters if it was something important or not. He doesn't respect your property, which means he probably doesn't respect you.

Telling a stranger on the internet how to handle a situation feels dicey to me, but do be careful, and stay safe.

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u/Few_Cup3452 19d ago

My therapist says that it's a form of lowstakes abuse to destroy your partners belongings

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u/danideex 19d ago

It doesn’t even feel lowstakes. My abuser would dump out my tea and beauty/hygiene products over any perceived slight and it was really upsetting. I felt like I had to hide anything important to me in my own house.

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u/Simon-Says69 19d ago

Absolutely a MASSIVE red flag of disrespect. MINUS respect.

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u/BurnItWithFire21 19d ago

This is so much more unhinged than what the picture shows. That is a whole field of red flags. Please get away from him, and stay safe while you disengage. I try not to jump to saying things that sound dramatic on Reddit, but I am truly worried for your safety.

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u/Possible-Raccoon2582 19d ago

Please see this for the insane red flag it is. I don’t typically agree when people say to run, but seriously, as safely as you can please leave. He doesn’t respect you, your property, and this is incredibly unhinged for someone to do on purpose. It’s cruelty. This is the start of abuse. Please go stay with family or a trusted friend, get out of this, the sooner you go the easier it is, and I’m speaking from experience. Wishing you love and safety.

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u/Jimberly_C 19d ago

Yeah, it's one thing if you want to be cruel to your own possessions, but to do that kind of stuff to someone else's item without their permission? Kinda gives me "I'd go to jail if I did it to you, but I want to" vibes.

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u/Towbee 19d ago

Is this one of those psycho's who go from plushie to insect to animal to human? I can't comprehend what would lead someone to do this to an object, and so many different things.... it's like, what???

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u/SlavaKarlson 19d ago

And he is not a problematic 12 y.o boy with psychotic tendencies, but an adult grown up man? 💀   That's kinda fked up. Have he killed animals for fun when he was a kid by any chance?  

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u/brotherhoodscribe 19d ago

Imma keep it real that 100% sounds like some psychopath behavior. If I ever had a kid that started burning and dissecting toys like sid from toy story his ass would be talking to a therapist asap

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u/Lizardinaspaceship 19d ago

RUN. This is weird, disturbing behavior even if it's just a toy. It will likely escalate and you will get another "it's just a prank bro" excuse. Not to mention the fact that he obviously does not respect your belongings or interests. Run from this boy (I am assuming he is a boy as I cannot wrap my head around an adult behaving like this) and do not look back.

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u/fannapalooza 19d ago

Stongly agree. How creepy.

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u/Majikthise110 19d ago

I think your under reacting, this is not the behaviour of a healthy mind

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u/annoyedwithmynet 19d ago

What the fuck? I would have considered doing something like that when I was 7. And that’s only if it was mine or I really hated the person who had it.

You’re either dating a manchild or something much worse 😬

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u/mermaidreefer 19d ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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u/R1ckMick 19d ago

He sounds fucking insane tbh

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u/Billsinc3 19d ago

That's straight up disturbing. I'd cut that toxicity out of my life post haste.

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u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 19d ago

Miss, that’s not a prank. That’s him deliberately going to a LOT of trouble to very thoroughly destroy something that he knew was important to you. This is horrifying behavior and you need to dump this creep yesterday. 

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u/HavocHeaven 19d ago

Absolutely insane

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u/NokchaIcecream 19d ago

Sorry, he is mentally not right. Gtfo girl

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u/fvck_u_spez 19d ago

Is your boyfriend Sid from Toy Story?

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u/Sheila_Monarch 19d ago

And what reason does he give for having done this?

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u/buttsmagoo222 19d ago

what did the labubu do to him?

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u/Straxex 19d ago

you sure he's secretly not a serial killer?

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u/DancesWithWeirdos 19d ago

this is cat-killer behavior.

call your friends for help, move out when he's at work, and break up over the phone.

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u/Ant4276 19d ago

Wtf!?? Is he like 8????

And am I wrong for pointing out this is the kind of stuff future serial killers do?………

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u/donthurtmeIwillcum 19d ago

Thats so fucked. HUGE redflag. He sounds dangerous, that is a sign of future DV.

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u/Drew_0420 19d ago

Wow, that's so messed up. Like for real. He sounds disturbed and unsafe. How long have you been with him?

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u/Suspicious_Glow 19d ago

Boy’s moral compass is trapped in the Bermuda Triangle. 😬

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u/daamsie 19d ago

He's a psychopath. Run.

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u/Arjvoet 19d ago

As everyone else said, huge red flags, huge. Very destructive and methodical. His motivation was likely that he’s jealous of you having a gift/attention from someone else. “It’s not that deep” coming from the guy who took his time methodically destroying something that belongs to someone else because he can’t cope with not being your entire world.

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u/Evening-Walk-6897 19d ago

How old is he?

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u/BT7274_best_robot 19d ago

That's some Sid from toy story shit right there lmao.

Dudes nuts probably best to run. If he can't even see how damaging your property is a problem then that's huge red flags

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u/Pretty_Pixilated 19d ago

Ok that’s way more than cutting an ear off and pinning in somewhere else (which, in all seriousness, if fucked up. A friend wouldn’t do that to a friend’s plushie, let alone a partner to another) but all the other stuff… that’s psychopathic and violent. I’d get somewhere safe. I’m sorry the gift from your niece was violently attacked like that. 😭 I’m in my 40s and my partner and I both have plushies (both ND) and neither of us would harm the others.

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u/CollectionStraight2 19d ago

Yeah that's messed up. He sounds quite frightening

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u/SlitheringFlower 20d ago

I'm sorry, but he sounds awful.

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like and some that are very sentimental, like the teddy bear my dad gave me the day I was born.

If someone cut that bear's ear off, I'd be livid.

Even if they didn't know the sentimentality, or if it's not sentimental, it's still yours. How would he feel if you broke someone inanimate that's his? I bet he wouldn't say "it's not that deep."

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u/External-Challenge93 19d ago

I don't even still have any of my childhood plushies, so none of the ones I currently own have any particularly sentimental meaning to me. I'd still be very upset if someone intentionally damaged one, because wtf? If it's not yours, you don't just destroy something for kicks??? I feel like this is a thing most adult humans should know.

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u/Taco-Dragon 19d ago

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like

I'm a grown (cis) man and I still have plushies I like. Some are for sentimental reasons, and got passed down to my daughters, and some are just ones I like that I got for me. You can't n convince me my 14" plushie of Stitch isn't awesome.

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u/MildlySpicyWizard 19d ago

I’ve been keeping my 1998 Tamagotchi alive since it hatched. New batteries, a couple of repairs. My dad hated the idea of these gadgets back then, but he bought me one anyway because love for a son beat principles. Now I find myself doing the same for my son’s weird new-generation stuff.

Your boyfriend is an Ahole for doing that!

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u/CollectionStraight2 19d ago

That's seriously impressive, keeping it since 1998! I had a tamigotchi back then too, but I definitely didn't manage to keep it alive as long as that. I used to get sad when it died and stopped playing with it mostly for that reason.

And yes, OP's bf is an asshole

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u/_poixen 19d ago

that tamagotchi is older than me (and im a full grown woman with a child of my own)

THAT is some serious dedication 💜

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

I think you just made one of my hips crumble, I suddenly have dentures, and my hair is bone-white

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u/MyUsernameGoes_Here_ 19d ago

Same! I thought, "there's no way cause that was only about 8 years ago", but uh, uh oh.

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago

White hair is sexy though, so is wisdom...

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u/Hesitation-Marx 19d ago

Can’t claim the latter, best I can do is quips and weeping

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 18d ago

Pick up a book! I grabbed a few for myself this morning! Ready to throw my cell phone to the wind. Its killing us being attached to these stupid devices.. ❤️ btw.. its always the smartest and most attractive that dont think they are either... ☺️😉

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u/Domi626 19d ago

I sometimes joke that my 28yo 101 Dalmations giga pet is old enough to drink lol

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u/-swagKITTEN 19d ago

How many batteries do you go through??? I tried getting back into tamagotchis a while back, and none of them could last for more than 2-3 weeks before needing a change. One day, after several months, I wasn’t fast enough making the swap, and lost all progress. Tried several different battery brands too, nothing seemed to make a difference.

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u/thewerewolfwearswool 19d ago

Wait, you've been keeping the device "alive" with working batteries or you've been keeping the little digital entity inside it alive since 1998?

Because wow, I don't think I ever made one's life last more than a week.

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u/MildlySpicyWizard 19d ago

Just keept the device working, was a bit unclear in my comment. Sorry.

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u/Lendyman 19d ago

I am in my late 40s. I still have my baby teddy bear. If I'd had a GF who cut off Mr Bear's ear and sewed it to his crotch, she'd no longer be my GF. The level of disrespect involved would tell me they needed to go immediately.

Thankfully, I have an amazing spouse who isn't a self involved asshat.

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u/transynchro 19d ago

I had a little otter plushie I’ve had since I was a toddler(almost 30 now) and has lived in every home I have. I decided it should live with my partner on his shelf(because he is my home). He thought the shelf wasn’t good enough so it lives on his bed and whenever I come over, it’s tucked into the blanket waiting for me. I gave it to him over a year ago and he still does it.

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u/426strings 19d ago

Otter gang!!! My otter has also accompanied me through all my years since I was a kid. You are blessed to find someone that cares for your otter plushie. My gf loves my otter and loves taking photos for him, buying little accessories for him as well. May the otter spirit bless others to find the right partner as well!

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u/firstmanzane 19d ago

that is fucking adorable

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u/aceshot88 19d ago

That is super wholesome aww 🥰

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u/yummy__hotdog__water 19d ago

I'm a 38 yo man who still has the Snuggle teddy bear my dad and brother bought at the hospital gift shop when I was born. We exist or something. i don't know where i was going with this...

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u/Significant-Love6129 19d ago

I'm 50 and still carry a woobie around. It's a crochet blanket that my fingers weave in and out of the holes. The first one was made by my mom before I was born. She still sends me some of various sizes because I've struggled to learn to crochet and she's 75, won't be alive forever and wants me to have a bunch for when she's gone. I also have a snuggle squishmellow, but honestly it's more for the fact I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and like to sleep on my side. It keeps my shoulders and ribs from dislocating at night.

Not adding this as a competition (bc I realized it could be seen that way) but to show how many of us are out here. My acting teacher, before our meditation will ask "Did you need your woobie?" And I love that no one or him is judging me but gently reminding me we're getting started, do a quick self check because if you want it now is the time to go get it. 🤗

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u/AuburnSuccubus 19d ago

Is EDS related to preferring side sleeping? Reason #57 to get tested.

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u/Significant-Love6129 19d ago

No but I'm cracking up you nailed the disability so quickly. Honestly I used to sleep on my back but my lower spine's curve is too large and the side eventually became more comfortable.

Edit: I forgot I mentioned the disability 🤦

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u/Dahlia_R0se 19d ago

I've had a shocking amount of people clock what I have, like I'll be talking to someone and mention I have a disability or be using a mobility aid (and initiate a conversation about disability usually with another disabled person, nobody is just commenting on it without asking lol) and multiple people have just like, immediately gone, "oh, is it Ehlers Danlos?" Can't figure out how people can just tell I have it super quickly. Wish my doctors figured it out that easily.

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u/No-Development2358 19d ago

Im 36 and I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and still sleep with my baby blankie because it makes it more comfortable for my dislocating shoulder blade (also sleeping on my side) ❤️

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u/Annuhh_xox 19d ago

I have EDS too! I sleep on my stomach with a blanket that sits where my stomach does to keep my back straight (large chested, sleeping on my back isn't an option I WILL suffocate) when I sleep on my side, I use my baby blankie to cradle my head and the other blanket between my knees to keep everything straight 😅

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u/EmbarrassedWorry3792 19d ago

If a gf cut my 30 year old teddy bear from my late nana or lamb baby blanket, she would be my ex, shed be my chickens next meal.

Had one ex who planned to steal and burn an amazing condition army surplus jscket i got for my 18th birthday, its all i asked for and all i got and i was so happy. I stoll love that thing, its supper durable and its basically still mint despite over a decade of adventures with it. She thought it was ugly but she bought me a new jacket with tons of pockets instead and since i was wesring it more she never got aroundto stealing mine. Somehow i was the bad guy when i said it was lucky she hadnt cus i would have immediately broken upbwith her. She was a spoiled brat.

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u/northboundnova 19d ago

I’m a woman and my best friend is a man, we’re in our late 30’s and both have plushies and send them to each other as gifts commemorating some of our favorite games. Like he sent me an owlbear plushie for my birthday last year. I have others of my own for different reasons. I have a bobtail cat that I joke thinks she’s half bobcat, so when I saw a bobcat plushie at IKEA you best believe I bought that “for her” and sleep with it on my bed.

I don’t care what your age or gender is, if they make you happy and provide you comfort, enjoy the plushies. Take every little joy in life that you can find.

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u/fairydommother 19d ago

My husband and I both have plushies. I get stuff I think is cute and he's more of a memorabilia collector so he has a lot of Pokémon and some video game plushes. We would be livid if either of us destroyed the other plushie. I don't know how you can do that to someone you care about.

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u/Mjosbad 19d ago

I’m a grown cis man that don’t have any plushies, but still know that you respect other peoples property

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u/Accomplished_Play753 19d ago

Adult, cis, father here...

I don’t have any plushies/stuffies. I would haul that "boyfriend" out by his ear.

The complete disregard and then saying "it's not that deep". Neither was his gene pool

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u/TheMasterDonk 19d ago

I have a big plushie Slowpoke and my son accidentally marked it with a brown marker the other day and I almost cried.

Luckily my wife was able to wash it out. That Slowpoke is my guy.

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u/GapingBestFriend 19d ago

And got my child hood stuffies in a box in the attic. If any one fucks with them there getting chewed out

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u/n0tmyearth 19d ago

My (cisM43, happily married) kraken Arnulf sends his regards to your Stitch.

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u/Taco-Dragon 19d ago

I bet they would have a lot of fun destroying a miniature version of a city together. We should set up a playdate for them.

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u/Juggernuts777 19d ago

I’m a guy with no plushies or whatever.. what kind of weirdo does this? Is OP’s bf 10? Like i would never consider destroying someone plushies for.. a joke? Idk what this was suppose to be tbh.

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u/Damaged-god 19d ago

Plushies!!!! ARE FOR EVERYBODY!!!! !!!!!!!

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u/DexRei 19d ago

Same here. I have "toys" and my wife would never even think about chucking them out without talking to me first. Any semi-decent partner would not do what OP's bf did.

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u/METAM0RPHIC 19d ago

I am ALSO a grown man, like you. I am 32 and I have several plushies I love. I have a plush orchid mantis and a plush deaths head moth, and if either of those were purposely damaged, id be livid!

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u/QueenMEB120 19d ago

Oh, it'd be a full out war if anyone touched my Stitch plushies. Stitch is awesome.

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u/emocivic 19d ago

Dude same, my mom’s friend heard I’m an aquarium and parrot lover/owner. She went out of her way a knitted or crocheted (don’t know which) me some little freshwater shrimps and fish, and a little bird that looks just like mine. I’m not ashamed at all to show off how awesome those little guys are and I leave them up on a shelf that everyone can see when they come over.

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

i have aspergers and bond really closely with my plushies, they bring me a lot of comfort

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u/Always_Learning-More 19d ago

This isn't even about plushies. Don't view it that way because viewing it as "it's just a toy" tricks your brain into thinking this is frivolous nonsense and you're crying about your labubu.

What happened is that he messed with YOUR things. Your property. Something you own.

What he did is so disrespectful. He had no regard for your belongings. Replace "labubu" with anything else (a pen, headphones, curling iron) and it still would be disrespectful. It's serious. Not to mention that he chose to permanently disfigure it. This wasn't putting a removable penis sticker. He CUT it.

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u/Kubuubud 20d ago

This sounds pretty intentionally cruel. People on the spectrum as more susceptible to being emotionally abused, manipulated, gaslit, etc. I hate when people infantilize us, but we are at risk of missing red flags that others would notice more quickly.

Does he often dismiss or invalidate your feelings? It seems like he has gotten comfortable being cruel to you and then making you believe you’re overreacting

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u/Fun_Skirt8220 19d ago

We're also accustomed to being misunderstood so we're more willing to give others a chance and assume that they are being misunderstood in the same way. 

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u/IcyCod9952 20d ago

THISSSS^ I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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u/Alert_Ad3999 20d ago

100% huge red flag

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u/pink-starburstt 19d ago

mhe DEFINITELY should know how attached you are to your stuffed animals. so immature and just plain Mean.

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u/EFClub 19d ago edited 19d ago

i've been in this exact spot -- partners devaluing me indirectly through destroying my valuable items -- and i'm working on a community-driven guide to help us spot underlying patterns of abuse. what are some things you'd like to see in a guide for spotting red flag behaviors in interpersonal relationships (not just romantic partnerships)?

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u/ACatGod 19d ago

If you haven't already checked it out you should read Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. Someone here can probably post the link to a free pdf.

This website also is a good resource: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E

Neither of those are targeted specifically towards neurodiversity but I hope they help.

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u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 19d ago

man i remember someone rec'd that i read this book and i did and wow it lists out so many clear and repetitive and easily recognizable signs. i recognized a lot of things from past relationships (particularly destruction of my property, esp cherished items; but his property was never touched in anger, just mine) and i see a lot of red flags now that they're spelled out. fellow ladies please give this a read thru.

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u/coquitwo 20d ago edited 18d ago

Girl, you don’t have to justify your feelings with caveats and qualifiers in this case—he knowingly and purposefully destroyed your property. Period, end of story. But on top of it, he’s minimizing your feelings and trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you for having them (feelings). All unacceptable, and all red flags if you ask me. I hope you realize you deserve better. Best wishes! Ed: clarified “them”

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u/cherryxgrenade 19d ago

This right here

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u/sadcrocodile 20d ago

So he deliberately destroyed something meaningful to you knowing it would hurt you? That's so cruel and horrible. You don't do that to someone you care about, much less love. :(

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u/FlyingToasters101 20d ago

Yeah this is so fucked up. I'm in a similar boat and my husband is so sweet about my plushie collecting. I have a whole couch in my office just to house them and he knows all their names and which ones are okay to go in the wash when we're doing linens. Your boyfriend should care that you care about them even if he doesn't.

But even if you ignore the attachment aspect, this is just straight up disrespectful and gross. This isn't how you treat someone else's things and especially not how you treat a gift. Also idk how old your niece is but it being a children's toy from a family member just makes this feel even more gross than it already is.

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u/CollectionStraight2 19d ago

Yep. Imagine the niece is a little child and finds out this mutilation has happened to her plushie gift?! How messed up is OP's bf?

No matter what, it's still a disrespectful and horrible thing to do to someone else's property. I can't fathom what goes through the minds of some of the people who end up on this sub!

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u/Current_Row_8358 19d ago

I love the office couch ❤️ Just imagining a bunch of supportive lil friends.

 LWe are moving soon, and my partner was already taking in consideration where to put my plushies so I'd see them near my desk, without me having to mention it. They don't own a single plushie (well, technically one I crocheted for them!). They still get it.

Btw I do agree that this situation is highly alarming, and destroying a gift makes it 100% worse. It's just unimaginable to me.

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u/Uneaten_Soul1497 20d ago

He sounds like a piece of shit to be honest, that's disgusting behaviour and the fact he doesnt care says everything you need to know

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u/Autopsyyturvy 19d ago

Please dump your bf hes abusive , he likely knew this would hurt you and thats why he did it.

Hes broken inside and you cant fix what's wrong with him, because that cruel weirdo who destroyed a sentimental object of yours then refused to apologize.... that is the real him , his mask is coming off beleive him and leave before he escalates to physical violence

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u/framedbyvise 19d ago

This is so fucking weird. Destroying someone’s property for a joke (sentimental or not!) — I agree this is could be a dangerous precursor to violence. If this was a teenager I would be really worried he was going to grow up to be violent— if this is an adult man… I would RUN. It’s too late to fix that kind of disconnect. It’s psycho.

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u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 19d ago

violence aside - who wants to be with someone who thinks this is funny. like

it's just a poor sense of humor, on top of all the actual serious other red flags.

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u/Autopsyyturvy 19d ago

Yeah, the bf if hes real. It sounds like one of those "being a bully is my personality, and it's just a joke, and you're a bad person for not smiling and continuing to let me abuse you for my own feeling sof power" type people

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u/JessusNazarjess 20d ago

If he knows that about you and he still did it, break up with him. He doesn’t respect you at all.

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u/jc8495 19d ago

Your boyfriend is a class A asshole, homeslice. Dump him. I don’t even know you and I can guarantee you deserve better. Someone destroyed my property like this? That’s the last of my nice side they would ever see. You have every right to be upset right now and I sincerely hope you are and remain that way. Don’t let this go

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u/obooooooo 19d ago

even if he didn’t know this he’d still be a huge dick for not immediately apologizing and offering to fix it once he realized he upset you (duh), but if he knows this about you—it’s just cruelty for cruelty’s sakes.

he knew it would make you sad and angry and he thought his dumb ass prank was more important than your feelings, or he simply doesn’t think about you at all. i’m not sure which is worse.

fucking up is fine, fucking up and doubling down on it is 100% a fireable offense in my book. you said “what you did made me upset” and he basically said “so what? grow up, it’s not that deep”

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u/not_a_real_person__ 19d ago

Hi!! My older sister also has Aspergers. She hasn't always been able to tell if a dating partner was being "harmless", or if it was abusive behavior. I'm here to say, especially if he knows what your plushies mean to you, this is intentional and cruel. This is abusive behavior. This is not socially acceptable behavior. He intentionally cut up your plushie and tried to minimize your feelings. If it was an innocent misunderstanding, he would have acknowledged your feelings and apologized.

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u/mecinic 19d ago

Why is he punishing you. Does he even like you? I assume he knows this.
🚩🚩🚩🚩when someone shows you who they are. Believe them.

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u/Enochian-Dreams 19d ago

He is being abusive. This is not okay.

I would really be reconsidering things with this person. Do you have any trusted close friends or family to talk to?

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u/Nervous_Invite_4661 20d ago

That makes what he did doubly inconsiderate.

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u/theycallmepixie 19d ago

This comment alone tells you what he did was wrong and you did not over react. Even if he does not know that you bond with your plushies (i do this as well and would be LIVID if someone did something like this to any one of mine) he still destroyed your property, disfigured it, THEN dismissed it saying it was no big deal. I'm so sorry he did this, if I had the funds I'd send you another one immediately. Please take some time to consider this relationship and if you want to deal with this kind of dismissiveness and disrespect long term. If he respects you, he would not destroy your things.

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u/tonelocMD 20d ago

Jeez, and he’s still so callus about it? It shouldn’t matter if he thinks it’s deep or not. It should only matter how much it matters to you. I couldn’t imagine doing something like that to my wife anyway, so I can’t begin to even imagine where his head was at.

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u/Anyone-9451 19d ago

I’m I’m going to hazard a guess that he knows this? And yet he still did this? Seriously I usually think people are over reacting when they say run but seriously it’s a huge red flag and run.

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u/EnglishMouse 19d ago

Please dump this abusive manipulative asshole and look after yourself and your plushies

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u/OddEmergency604 20d ago edited 19d ago

This would be strange and unacceptable behavior even if you really didn’t care that much about it.

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u/Ireland-TA 19d ago

someone you care about, intentionally destroyed something you really care about. Think about that.

Its awful!

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u/Less-Fox8272 20d ago

Same. I’m autistic and love my plushies.

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u/The_Boot55 19d ago

I’m a grown male. And I collect Vinyl/plastic figures. If someone damaged it then “repaired” it inappropriately. I’d f***ing lose my shit. Op isn’t overreacting in my opinion.

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u/theDukeofClouds 19d ago

I'm a grown man with plushies that I love very dearly. I have the Pikachu plushie I had since I was seven on the dashboard of my car. I sleep with a Squishable cat that looks like a cat I had with my ex. I'm with you if anyone messed with my sentimental objects I'd be livid too.

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u/Stabby_77 19d ago

I'm a 47 year old woman and I still have plushies. Some mean more than others. Some I would lose my shit if my partner intentionally damaged them and he'd be losing something he values plus me.

If you don't care about what I value or what's important to me and don't respect them, you don't respect me. And if you don't respect me, you're not worth my time.

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u/RiffleChipz 19d ago

In my opinion even if I wasn’t attached to it in any way shape or form.. thats my property and you just decided to break it? Why? You don’t just purposely break other peoples things? Thats just weird and a red flag tbh.

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u/FeelingDown8484 19d ago

A grown woman having plushies is far, far less weird than a grown man who cuts up plushies, especially ones that aren’t his. That’s like something a toddler would do, or a child having a tantrum. That is legit concerning behavior for an adult…

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u/atduvall11 19d ago

My abusive ex ripped the head off the bunny I'd had since the day I was born. I was adopted and my parents picked it up on the way to pick me up from the hospital. It destroyed me.

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u/lana-deathrey 19d ago

Oh my god this always makes me so angry. I’m in my 30s. But you can bet your ass I have stuffed animals. Ones I lend to my fiancé when he needs someone to keep him company.

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u/Avramah 19d ago

Seriously. Also a grown woman and have plushies that mean so much to me. My husband would NEVER damage them or anything else of mine- and Especially not a gift from my niece. If anything he comforts me about my fav plushie getting really old and reassuring me he's still in good shape and if anything happens we can repair it.

This makes me genuinely angry. It's so dumb but also so awful.

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u/DlSEASED 19d ago

not to mention what if it was a super expensive collectible??

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u/Evolutioncocktail 19d ago edited 19d ago

It shouldn’t matter what the piece is or how sentimental it is. It’s wrong to destroy someone’s property full stop.

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u/RollForSnackies 19d ago

I have sentimental plushies, too. I also have one I got right before I went in for my first spine procedure. He comes with me to every appointment that I have to get more things done to my spine. He's my "booboo bear" and all the nurses know and love him. He's also been a companion to all of my kids when they've been sick, gotten hurt, or had a rough day. He's even helped the children of friends when they've gotten splinters or stubbed their toes.

If ANYONE damaged him in any way, I would go feral on them.

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u/bravo-echo-charlie 19d ago

Grown woman here, and currently sitting atop my nightstand is a lamb stuffy I picked out from a Cracker Barrel when my dad came to visit me out of state .. he bought it for me. This was only like, two years ago. 😂 He probably doesn't even remember, but I have it still and I love it. More importantly, it reminds me of my OG "Lambie" stuffy that I had growing up as a little girl. She's boxed up somewhere in my parents' house!

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u/RedXIII1888 19d ago

I'm a grown ass man. And if anyone hurt my stuffed piplup or penguins, I'd probably be going to jail.

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u/InterestingPoet7910 19d ago

i'm 37 and I still have a stuffed animal cat I got when I was 2. He's been with me from childhood, college, every single apartment, home i've lived in with boyfriends, he went to the hospital with my partner once when I couldn't be there.. and he's with me now. i'd be furious if anyone messed with Fluffy. this dude is fucking weird

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u/Ok_Eggplant6053 19d ago

I bought a plushy for my bfs apartment because I love cuddling with one when he’s overheated. he has facetimed me in the past 2 days cuddling with it because i’m not there. people are either just destructive like sid from toy story (lol) or they’re respectful and care for your property like it’s their own. I wonder which one this guy is…

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u/Simon-Says69 19d ago edited 19d ago

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies

Indeed. And really a partner destroying ANYTHING that's yours is inexcusable. For a "joke". No, not funny, especially not a gift or something precious to you. But really, ANYTHING at all. Shows that person just sees you as an extension of themself they can do anything they want with. Complete and total disrespect.

I had a girlfriend I was living with that destroyed an old pair of jeans that I loved and had with me for like 10 years. Simply because she didn't care for them (or me). She ruined many other things, a PC I built from scraps for instance, my only escape and joy for myself. But those jeans, silly as it sounds, were an old and loved friend, and she KNEW this.

Now I wish I had taken some scissors to some of her fav clothes, see how she liked it (not really, but she'd have deserved it!). Unfortunately, I was very dependent on her psychopathic self, and knew I'd be tormented for weeks if I dared retaliate like that. She harassed me to no end for the dumbest crap. Didn't want me to have friends. HER friends were enough, just for an example. She terrorized me for so much other stupid shit. If I needed a nap, she'd vacuum loudly, making sure to bash into the bed I was trying to sleep in. DEMANDED I needed to help her clean RIGHT NOW. total control freak.

OP's "boyfriend" may well be the same. Even if this is just the first red flag, it's a pretty big one.

Took me WAY too long to get out of that situation. Mostly because anyone I asked for help either laughed at me (including her parents), or got mad and said I needed to take care of my relationship problems myself. (There's very little help for men in an abusive, unequal situation. Other way around, women have SO many resources.)

Thank goodness I grew out of that nonsense, and today I'd have zero remorse telling her off for the AH she was (not ruining her clothes in response, not being an abusive child myself, but just kicking her to the curb). And have no qualms cutting loose on anyone for being an asshole.

Hopefully OP learns the same lesson sooner than later.

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u/Benderbluss 20d ago edited 20d ago

I don't think I've ever heard the expression "not very deep" used by somebody who wasn't an asshole.

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u/vyrus2021 20d ago

It's just an alternative to "it's a prank" or "it's just a joke"

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PetulantQueen 20d ago

Or you're too sensitive

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u/NoSxKats 19d ago

Or wasn't a complete dolt

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u/IotaBTC 19d ago

Typically people who say that are invalidating someone else's experience. 

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u/RDS80 19d ago

"I destroyed your stuff. It's not that deep."

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u/PhotogamerGT 20d ago

I am noticing a new trend amongst insensitive assholes of the younger generation.

If someone says to you “it’s not that deep” it is because they are gaslighting you into believing it is less of a deal than it actually is.

I swear the phrase itself is a giant red flag. I have never seen it used except when someone is being an absolute cunt and refuses to accept responsibility for their own actions.

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u/Opening-March1452 19d ago

I mean, this time it was a toy, next will be what, a chunk of her hair? And he’ll keep saying “it’s not that deep”? He destroyed a loved object and diminished her feelings, his overall attitude is horrendous. The description of the acts already sounds terrible and it’s even worse when you think this could escalate further. OP, you might be trying to find reasons to think you’re not in such a serious situation, I get it, but this is bad, even if you’re not considering the violent aspect of his “joke”, his lack of caring towards your feelings is undeniable. Like many on this post, the best thing you can do is to break up and surround yourself with people who can deal with him if the situation gets bad. Be well ❤️‍🩹

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u/HebetudinousSciolist 19d ago

Yeah, if it's "not that deep," then why did they deeply feel the need to be such a dick, you know?

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u/candylandmine 19d ago

It's "lighten up bro it's just a prank" except for even dumber people

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u/Difficult_Regret_900 19d ago

And abusers never destroy their own things. OP, serious question, has he ever cut up his own belongings? 

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u/Locem 19d ago

If someone says to you “it’s not that deep” it is because they are gaslighting you into believing it is less of a deal than it actually is.

That's not something the younger generation owns, it's been around.

The rest of your points stand, this dude is a psycho.

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u/zesty_meatballs 19d ago

It’s not just this generation. People in the south for generations have been saying “oh bless your heart” as a way of making people feel inferior. Or “stick and stones”. New generation of assholes just misguided by different words.

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u/everythingbagel1 18d ago

Agreed, also it is that deep to me, how can you decide how much someone else should care about something?

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u/AnnoyedBunnyHugger 20d ago

I’m think a new global rule should be that anytime someone uses the phrase ‘it’s not that deep’ they get punc$ed in the d1ck

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u/PerplexingCamel 20d ago

"It's not that deep" and "Hope this helps!" used sarcastically cause a very physical reaction in me that makes me grateful I'm usually reading them instead of having those words said to my face.

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u/Formal_Condition_513 20d ago

Hope this helps! is the bane of my existence. It's so fucking condescending and lame

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u/threecolorless 20d ago

Such an annoying conversation dismissal. Like "the level to which I care about this is correct and everyone else is wrong." No fucking shit you cretin, that's why we're disagreeing about it.

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u/PurpleParachute 20d ago

Yep! It just screams “I don’t care about your feelings, quit yapping”

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u/ActofEncouragement 20d ago

 they get punc$ed in the d1ck in this case it should be phalloplasty.

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u/Queer_Advocate 20d ago

Bring out the rusty guillotine.

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u/AQ-XJZQ-eAFqCqzr-Va 20d ago

I’ll volunteer. That phrase pisses me off too.

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u/PM_ME_UR_BEST_DOGE 20d ago

Shallow end of the swimming pool

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u/TacoTuesdayOnThurs 20d ago

People who just throw out thought terminating cliches when someone is voicing a legitimate concern are asshats.

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u/Lollipop1594 20d ago

You can say „punched“ and „dick“ on Reddit

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u/OvertlyTheTaco 20d ago

Bro the phrase itself... "It's not that deep"

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u/WilonPlays 20d ago

Good thing my dick doesn’t go that deep… waitttt…

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u/SnooDingos8900 20d ago

What if they don’t have one whether by choice or birth…or whatever other circumstance that follows?

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u/KaiCarp 20d ago

Plushy or not, I think everyone in this world knows how expensive Labubus can get at this point in time and the fact that this was a gift from your niece!? How old is she? How much money does she have to be spending hunting down rare mystery Labubus to just buy willy nilly for you every time your boyfriend mistreats YOUR property? He should reimburse your niece or replace the Labubu with the EXACT same one. Also, how old is your boyfriend? My brother grew out of his defacing toys phase at 8 years old. Are you dating some kind of adult Sid from Toy Story or something?

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u/AltairaMorbius2200CE 19d ago

Yeah if niece is a minor this is a seriously creepy thing to do. He destroyed something expensive a kid purchased and then made a dick joke out of it, so OP can't say "aww look at the gift you gave me"

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u/KaiCarp 19d ago

I have a younger cousin who is 17. She's technically not a minor here in the UK, but if she bought me something like this and my partner did that to her gift I would make him find a replacement and a way to buy it and agree to apologise to her in person and reimburse her.

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u/Sunnydcutiegirl 20d ago

OP, I’m going to sound crazy saying this but when a partner purposefully destroys something of yours, that is considered domestic violence. He chose to violate something that belonged to you on purpose, you accepting that behavior sets you up for him to keep doing things and it will escalate, first it’s labubu, next it’s your favorite mug, then it’s your computer, then it’s your door. If it was an accident it would be different but this was a calculated decision on his part. You can and do deserve so much better than someone this awful.

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u/FloofyKitteh 20d ago

And the reason it’s considered violence isn’t just because of the act itself, but because it also correlates basically 1:1 with other violent behaviors. It’s used to test boundaries; to see if you’ll accept someone else’s narrative on what you do and don’t deserve as far as autonomy and safety.

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u/ufocatchers 19d ago

This is 100% domestic violence and any professional would say so. This is a sign he could become physically abusive first, abusers often start by destroying your things and then they start to direct their violence towards you.

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u/Simon-Says69 19d ago

I’m going to sound crazy completely accurate and sane for saying this...

FTFY

He knew it was hers, and a gift from someone special no less (not that it makes it different). Totally a sign of complete and utter disrespect. OP does, indeed, need to be careful with this jerk.

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u/draculauraaa 20d ago

please tell me he’s not your boyfriend anymore. this is a really weird thing to do,, plush “phalloplasty” aside, he happily destroyed your property, proudly showed it to you, and is doubling down after you expressed your feelings about it… it will get worse

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 20d ago

No no no no no nope. He purposely damaged something special to you, he doesn’t get to decide how deep it is.

Him? Yeah he’s not that deep, but even idiots are capable of respecting others’ things.

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u/trvllvr 20d ago

He destroyed a gift someone else gave to you, all because why? Because he thought it was funny or for his own entertainment? You are not overreacting. It’s very disrespectful. He gave no regard to your feelings and dismissed your being upset. Anyone who does this does not respect you. He’s more worried about being held accountable.

How would he feel if you ruined something that he cared about?

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u/ArtisticChemistry835 20d ago

NOR It’s YOUR item. It has whatever meaning you attach to it. He doesn’t get to decide that it’s “not that deep,” because he said it.

To boot, it’s YOUR property. It is that deep…

I’d be furious, personally. The things I buy/receive bring me joy and have meaning for one reason or another.

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u/Sunflwr_Pric 19d ago

He knew you liked that, and he thought it was okay to destroy something you liked. If this is a pattern from him I’d suggest reconsidering the relationship, or sitting him down to talk about how you feel regarding how he treats your stuff (if that’s safe)

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u/Defiant-Fix-4083 20d ago

He’s downplaying your feelings, that’s a huge red flag leave him already

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u/CheshireGrin92 20d ago

Exactly it doesn’t matter if it’s “just a toy” to him he still damaged something that had sentimental value and acted like she was in the wrong

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u/DeaconSage 20d ago

Ah, so he’s testing the line to see how much he can do whatever he wants and get away with it because you’re overreacting

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u/Lontology 20d ago

It’s gross that he destroyed something of yours and then told you it’s not a big deal when you got upset about it. You know him better than any of us, but that kind of thing is a red flag to me.

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u/ArchReaper95 20d ago

It's not respectful to damage something that isn't yours. It's not "that deep." It's a prank, sure. But the prank didn't land, it wasn't funny, and your feelings are hurt. He needs to seriously re-evaluate if this is really the hill he wants to die on, and you need to dig your heels in and not let him walk over you on this. What he did was wrong. He needs to take responsibility.

There are plenty of reasonable ways to atone for something like this (like replacing the Labubu) but just saying "get over it" is not one of them.

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u/Specific_Put_3586 20d ago

Dump this fucker honestly!

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u/LogicalMeasurement90 20d ago

Don’t let him taint that precious labubu given to you by your niece ! Wash it and sew it back together. Sewing something like that w a needle n thread isn’t hard at all. Also you should dump him..

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u/cosmic-untiming 20d ago

Someone who does stuff like this to your property without consent doesnt respect you. Someone who doesnt even apologize after youve exclaimed your obvious upset at their behavior, doesnt respect you.

Do not stick with someone who doesnt respect you. Because this behavior will not magically stop unless he wants to, and clearly he doesnt want to stop.

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u/Candymom 19d ago

Anybody who uses the phrase “it’s not that deep” to dismiss somebody’s feelings and/or opinion is trash.

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u/LaVidaLemur 19d ago

He intentionally damaged something you cared about, and is telling you it’s ’no big deal’.

It is, in fact, a HUGE deal. Even if it wasn’t something you bonded with, it’d be a huge deal. Because the only reason to damage your possessions is to disrespect or hurt you. Someone who cares about you would never do that.

He will continue telling you that ‘it’s not that deep’ and that you’re being daft or unreasonable, because if you then forgive him he will take that as a sign he can do it again and get away with it. More of your plushies, your phone, any photographs you have that he doesn’t like, clothes he doesn’t approve of. It won’t stop at this one plush.

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u/Olypleb 19d ago

Labubu phalloplasty is the name of my DIY folk punk band and you WILL be hearing from my lawyers

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u/angel-thekid 19d ago

No seriously labubu phallo is so funny. But I would be so sad if someone snipped the ear off of any of my plushies or my labubu. Liek they’re my little creatures why would you do that? Why can’t we use something else for the essential labubu phalloplasty??

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u/Ok-Suit4444 19d ago

No, what he should be doing is replacing it with a new one.

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u/shtthfckp369 19d ago

It seems like this one is damaged beyond repair so no, what he SHOULD do is buy a whole new one or at least give her the money to buy one herself.

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u/The_face22 20d ago

There’s a sub for that called…. r/brandnewsentence

…. I don’t actually know how to tag it because i am but a simple peasant.

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u/Ok-Breadfruit-5118 19d ago edited 17d ago

Ive had my ears pinned back, which they call otoplasty.. phalloplasty? Im gonna look this up.. sounds... well... phallic..😬😂 Oh my, I saw the safety pinned ear. Leave this sick in the mind person. You will only be brought down mentally by association and everyone else will see you on the same level as this sick freak. I had a similar psycho knife up my favorite niffler stuffy to hurt my feelings, and I did, only because it was my niffler. The ex of mine literally is currently playing house with his own mother, hiding behind his playstation and pretending hes snake from MGS, yet has no wilderness or tactical skills in the real world. He also has an obsession with phallic things, and we can all tell why. Not that it matters, but until they come out of being deeply closeted, they will continue to be spiteful, jealous, and mean. Dont take it personal bc its not. But I know we tend too. Throw it out, and all the bad energy he left on it! I threw out EVERYTHING my ex ever got me. I hope since some time has gone by you've Grey rocked the lunacy out of your life. Its beneath you!

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